No Sleep and No Coffee Makes Parents Something Something

Emmadilema123

nikpmup wrote: »

Weird moan - the bit of my belly above my c-section is numb, but I have an itch. I can feel the itch but I can't feel the scratch. Driving me mental.

My mam still has that with her scar from 22 years ago. She was putting sudocream on it last week :-O couldn't believe it when she asked me for the sudocream for it... Much respect for all you csection mamas! You guys really get put through the ringer

How Strange

I'd contact the clinic as it's the same problem not a new one.

nikpmup

My scar itself is healed fine, I just have no feeling in the area above it, for about four or five inches. The itch was just a general itch, not an itchy scar I can feel itch or irritation in the numb area but I can't feel it when I scratch!

Gee_G

nikpmup wrote: »

My scar itself is healed fine, I just have no feeling in the area above it, for about four or five inches. The itch was just a general itch, not an itchy scar I can feel itch or irritation in the numb area but I can't feel it when I scratch!

I had surgery a few years ago(same incision right across top of my bikini line) and this still happens me! Its like its in under the skin nor something, mad feeling haha

nikpmup

Dear Ridiculously Young Gynaecologist Who Told Me That My Periods Would Become Significantly Lighter And Less Painful After Childbirth,

You, Sir, are a lying B***ard.

Sincerely,

Ouchy Nikpmup.

wolfpawnat

nikpmup wrote: »

Weird moan - the bit of my belly above my c-section is numb, but I have an itch. I can feel the itch but I can't feel the scratch. Driving me mental.

Know the feeling. it's numb, so it can't be itchy, but it is! I feel it's like the nerve endings trying to find new pathways to the area.

nikpmup wrote: »

Dear Ridiculously Young Gynaecologist Who Told Me That My Periods Would Become Significantly Lighter And Less Painful After Childbirth,

You, Sir, are a lying B***ard.

Sincerely,

Ouchy Nikpmup.

I was also told you don't get them while exclusively breastfeeding. LIARS. Heavier than ever and back after only 11 weeks!

Xdancer

nikpmup wrote: »

Dear Ridiculously Young Gynaecologist Who Told Me That My Periods Would Become Significantly Lighter And Less Painful After Childbirth,

You, Sir, are a lying B***ard.

Sincerely,

Ouchy Nikpmup.

So not true. Nearly 2 years on and my periods are still heavier than they were before falling pregnant.

How Strange

I got my first period since A was born last week. She's 8.5 months so it worked for me on both children but I know women who fed on demand through the night and still got their periods within 3 months.

Funnily enough the night before I got my period we gave A some paralink as she was in pain with stomach cramps and she slept a longer stretch than usual so missed 2 night feeds.

nicowa

nikpmup wrote: »

I'd like some advice on sleeping from experienced mommies! My lad has monster sleeps, at 14 weeks old he'll happily sleep 10 hours at night. His problem is going to sleep. He'll only fall asleep in my/OH's arms, usually with a good deal of crying, ear pulling and wriggling....:)

I always jump to this conclusion, but have you considered whether he has reflux or a dairy allergy? With our little ones, who also slept through the night, the couple of hours before sleep was the hardest. Lots of crying, wriggling etc. with one we changed formula (she was on an evening bottle) and with the other we used infant gaviscon and as she got bigger she outgrew it a bit.

nikpmup

nicowa wrote: »

I always jump to this conclusion, but have you considered whether he has reflux or a dairy allergy? With our little ones, who also slept through the night, the couple of hours before sleep was the hardest. Lots of crying, wriggling etc. with one we changed formula (she was on an evening bottle) and with the other we used infant gaviscon and as she got bigger she outgrew it a bit.

I'm convinced he had/has silent reflux - when I stopped expressing and switched to formula it seemed to get much better, but he still gets sick occasionally and he still has the odd bout of 'gagging' on reflux. This isn't the same though, it seems to be him fighting sleep and being unable to fall asleep independently, the crying is different - it's not wailing and wriggling in pain like he used to, it's more a very tired whiney cry. It's something worth thinking about though.

loubian

nikpmup wrote: »

I'm convinced he had/has silent reflux - when I stopped expressing and switched to formula it seemed to get much better, but he still gets sick occasionally and he still has the odd bout of 'gagging' on reflux. This isn't the same though, it seems to be him fighting sleep and being unable to fall asleep independently, the crying is different - it's not wailing and wriggling in pain like he used to, it's more a very tired whiney cry. It's something worth thinking about though.

My lo fights the sleep too, sometimes she near jumps out of my arms when she's wriggling. Thankfully she only does this during the day but I know how annoying it is, n then the tired cry! I've kind of figured out that sometimes she gets fed up of being held and wants to be put down so I put her in the pram and rock her to sleep. Would that be an option for you?

As for sleeping independently, I still stay in the room as she falls asleep. I hold her hands through the cot bars and sing to her. She falls asleep knowing I'm there and stays asleep for the night, until about 4/5 am. I don't mind doing this for a while, I'll try the next step when she's used to this one.

Do you have a bedtime routine? If not, maybe you could start establishing one?

Also, I wouldn't worry about independent sleeping just yet. Your baby is still quite young - I tried the putting her down and leaving the room (but waiting outside) when she was 4 months and I got nowhere. Saying that though, every baby is different!

I know that it's tiring trying to get a baby to sleep, just try and stay calm as you probably already know the baby can pick up your distress and will take longer to settle!

Sleep is the main topic for mums anyway I was at a mother and baby group today and everyone was talking about their babies' sleeping patterns ha

Edit: also, I stand the baby up for about 5 minutes after being fed to let the tummy settle, coz I know if I sit here down she can get sick! Don't know if this is useful, but just thought I'd share

nikpmup

loubian wrote: »

My lo fights the sleep too, sometimes she near jumps out of my arms when she's wriggling. Thankfully she only does this during the day but I know how annoying it is, n then the tired cry! I've kind of figured out that sometimes she gets fed up of being held and wants to be put down so I put her in the pram and rock her to sleep. Would that be an option for you?

As for sleeping independently, I still stay in the room as she falls asleep. I hold her hands through the cot bars and sing to her. She falls asleep knowing I'm there and stays asleep for the night, until about 4/5 am. I don't mind doing this for a while, I'll try the next step when she's used to this one.

Do you have a bedtime routine? If not, maybe you could start establishing one?

Also, I wouldn't worry about independent sleeping just yet. Your baby is still quite young - I tried the putting her down and leaving the room (but waiting outside) when she was 4 months and I got nowhere. Saying that though, every baby is different!

I know that it's tiring trying to get a baby to sleep, just try and stay calm as you probably already know the baby can pick up your distress and will take longer to settle!

Sleep is the main topic for mums anyway I was at a mother and baby group today and everyone was talking about their babies' sleeping patterns ha

Edit: also, I stand the baby up for about 5 minutes after being fed to let the tummy settle, coz I know if I sit here down she can get sick! Don't know if this is useful, but just thought I'd share

Pram not really an option as the house is really small. I have been trying to put him down in his cot for daytime naps, but he really doesn't dig it :-/

As for a bedtime routine, I tend to put him in the swing on the kitchen table in the evening so he can watch me making dinner or whatever I'm doing. He gets a bath around 7pm, I massage him with coconut oil, then a bottle and bed as near to 8pm as possible. Bedtime is lights low, his lullaby playing in the background, and rocking him in my arms until he falls asleep. Sometimes he goes asleep straight away, sometimes it requires half an hour of soothing him. Once I put him in the cot, he either wakes up and cries immediately or stays asleep for a little while then wakes & cries.
I was talking about this with my sister and really I guess I should be grateful that he sleeps so well at three months old! I'll give it a bit more time I think, he's still so young (and secretly - seeing him give in to sleep and just trusting that I'll look after him is really lovely )

loubian

My last post seems to be irrelevant now. Sge woke about 5 times last night, n it wasn't looking for her soother, because she had it in her mouth. Dunno what happened.

Then this morning she hasn't stopped moaning. Had her in the cot while I was sorting stuff in the bedroom. She was screaming her head off, like talking not crying, but ear curdling at that. I know she's only looking for attention but I couldn't help get pissed off. My stepdad is only back from the states and was asleep and no doubt the both of us woke him up.

I bought her downstairs to give her a bottle and she continued screaming, crying this time. She wouldn't take the bottle and took ages to drift off. She's asleep now in the pram and im upstairs. My stepdad is downstairs and he's a noisey s**t and if he wakes her, I'm moving to my dad's. He's slamming presses and blaring the radio. He heard how long it took me to get annabelle asleep. This weekend was bliss because he was set here.

I've been on anti depressants now for a month and while they do work a bit, I still seem to just snap sometimes. I have to hide this too in case it looks bad when I go to court. I'm so stressed I just feel annabelle would be better off with someone else who doesn't get angry all the time.

Fairie

loubian wrote: »

My last post seems to be irrelevant now. Sge woke about 5 times last night, n it wasn't looking for her soother, because she had it in her mouth. Dunno what happened.

Then this morning she hasn't stopped moaning. Had her in the cot while I was sorting stuff in the bedroom. She was screaming her head off, like talking not crying, but ear curdling at that. I know she's only looking for attention but I couldn't help get pissed off. My stepdad is only back from the states and was asleep and no doubt the both of us woke him up.

I bought her downstairs to give her a bottle and she continued screaming, crying this time. She wouldn't take the bottle and took ages to drift off. She's asleep now in the pram and im upstairs. My stepdad is downstairs and he's a noisey s**t and if he wakes her, I'm moving to my dad's. He's slamming presses and blaring the radio. He heard how long it took me to get annabelle asleep. This weekend was bliss because he was set here.

I've been on anti depressants now for a month and while they do work a bit, I still seem to just snap sometimes. I have to hide this too in case it looks bad when I go to court. I'm so stressed I just feel annabelle would be better off with someone else who doesn't get angry all the time.

Hi loubian, try not to be so hard on yourself from posts I've read you seem to be doing a brilliant job raising your little girl. It's not easy at all and def not when you are the parent doing all the work. Honestly you should be very proud of yourself and I'm sure your little girl is very proud of her mammy. We all snap and get angry from time to time. Crying (sometimes screaming) is baby's way of communicating and I think it's sometimes their way of showing their love for mammy and telling you that they want to be with you!

Emmadilema123

loubian wrote: »

My last post seems to be irrelevant now. Sge woke about 5 times last night, n it wasn't looking for her soother, because she had it in her mouth. Dunno what happened.

Then this morning she hasn't stopped moaning. Had her in the cot while I was sorting stuff in the bedroom. She was screaming her head off, like talking not crying, but ear curdling at that. I know she's only looking for attention but I couldn't help get pissed off. My stepdad is only back from the states and was asleep and no doubt the both of us woke him up.

I bought her downstairs to give her a bottle and she continued screaming, crying this time. She wouldn't take the bottle and took ages to drift off. She's asleep now in the pram and im upstairs. My stepdad is downstairs and he's a noisey s**t and if he wakes her, I'm moving to my dad's. He's slamming presses and blaring the radio. He heard how long it took me to get annabelle asleep. This weekend was bliss because he was set here.

I've been on anti depressants now for a month and while they do work a bit, I still seem to just snap sometimes. I have to hide this too in case it looks bad when I go to court. I'm so stressed I just feel annabelle would be better off with someone else who doesn't get angry all the time.

Is there any extra support you can get until your feeling a bit more like yourself? Maybe a nanny just for a few hours one day a week so you can do your own thing... It's hard enough when there is two parents. You need some time to yourself occasionally

Sligo1

I read this thread from time to time and all I can say is Loubian I really admire you. Please don't be so hard in yourself! For me being a parent is the hardest job I've ever done! Yes it's the most rewarding... But seriously, I've never been so exhausted in my life. And I have an awesome husband that does A LOT of the work too! So I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel going it alone! Mind yourself! You are an awesome mum! Everyone gets a bit down and depressed as becoming a parent is such a life changing experience never mind all the crap that you yourself are going through. Please remind yourself that it does get better. Take care of yourself ok.

wolfpawnat

Sligo1 wrote: »

Mods could you please delete 2 of those posts... It was sent multiple times for some reason. Thanks.

There is an issue with boards at the moment. you can do it yourself by clicking edit and then choosing to delete

loubian, it is shít when they have bad days, but it is normal. Actually, for the last 2 days, all the kids I have been in contact with (including my own 2) have been out of sorts, must be a weather thing!.

bp

Loubian, no one here doubts your love for your daughter. Take five minutes for yourself and remember you are doing the best you can and you love A and she loves you

loubian

My baby will fall asleep in everyone's arms but mine... surely it should be the other way around.

Fairie

loubian wrote: »

My baby will fall asleep in everyone's arms but mine... surely it should be the other way around.

Aw try not to let this upset you babies sometimes do things that hurt their mum but it's not intentional they don't realise what they are doing. My oldest was the same when she was smaller, everyone seemed to get cuddle time except mammy unless she was tired, hungry or sick! But the last two/three months everything is mama, I'm not allowed go anywhere without her and I'm the only one who gets kisses and cuddles! It won't be long til all your little girl wants is her mammy and no one else will do!

wolfpawnat

I know this sounds like an odd complaint, but over the last few weeks people keep saying to me "Ah sure, you're lucky, you have himself to help you with the kids" and I don't know what to say. Hand on my heart, if he isn't here, and if he is, it is totally the same. He does absolutely nothing with the kids that would give me "the break" I am supposed to be getting. I mean, don't get me wrong, he is talking to me and interacts with them, but he never has done a nappy/feed/night. Not a single one. And he doesn't mind them so I can get a nap, or go for a walk, nothing. I am 100% in charge of them all day every day, bar school time and all I get is disbelieving looks when I say I am tired, or worn out. What are other men doing? I feel like I am being left out of some really big secret society of domesticated man.

Fairie

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I feel like I am being left out of some really big secret society of domesticated man.

Hmm does it actually exist!?!
My boyfriend is pretty much the same, although every now and again he'll get a notion and help out but it's mostly after a lot of nagging!

Rachineire

God I feel so bad for you guys....I told my husband when we got married we were equals and I hold him to that. We split everything in terms of baby care and household chores as evenly as possible. I don't think I would have survived the first 6 months after having my baby without him. Anyone that is not getting help my hat goes off to you....it is the most draining job mentally, physically and emotionally!

Fairie

In fairness to my boyfriend he's gone for work by 6.30 each morning and not back until between 6 and 8. I can't sit still, am always doing something and like things done now, I do think he should be the same but he does do his share when he has a day off so I can't really complain!

wolfpawnat

Yeah, mine had a bit of time off college, so he's been studying and is back onto leaving here at 6:30 and home for 10:30 in the night next week. But still, in his time off, as much as he interacted with the kids, he wasn't giving me loads of time to do whatever I wanted or letting me have a morning off or anything.

bp

I am lucky enough to have a good one. When the baby was born my hubby did every nappy while he was off to give me little breaks etc

Could you try just leaving? I will be back in 15 minutes dear, have to nip out....

Or, here X smells, do the nappy, thanks.

Sligo1

When my husband gets home from work, I'm like.... "Here you go!".... Could you try this? . I spose everyone's different tho. My husbands great.... But I don't really give him a choice either. Lol

How Strange

After spending 6 months in what Dr Sears and Elizabeth Pantleys refer to as the danger zone which is extreme sleep deprivation I finally cracked. Only then did my otherwise fantastic husband start really digging in and helping. I felt, and still do feel, that he was coasting along and was quite happy that baby no.2 hadn't been a huge imposition on him. He got to sleep, go for runs, go out occasionally.
I really started to resent him and I was so angry all the time.

Now he pulls his weight but I ask him/tell him when I need his help. I still feel stressed out at times but it's better now that he's doing his share.

Wolfpawnat I don't know how your relationship works but with men you really have to say I need your help, I want you to do x,y and z.

I also think he was afraid of minding the two on his own. I went away for a weekend of rest and he looked after them and I think it gave him an idea of the amount of work involved. Before that he'd be trying to go off by himself for an hour or two and didn't want the hassle of bringing either of them. Now he takes at least one if not both.

Fairie

How Strange wrote: »

I also think he was afraid of minding the two on his own. I went away for a weekend of rest and he looked after them and I think it gave him an idea of the amount of work involved. Before that he'd be trying to go off by himself for an hour or two and didn't want the hassle of bringing either of them. Now he takes at least one if not both.

I think my boyfriend is the same is he afraid of being on his own with the babies. The longest he's been on his own is 4 hours and when I came home his mam had happened pop in! I think he panics if one of the girls needs attention and then the other one starts but I know really he is well able for it and is a great dad! I'll just have to start leaving the girls with him more often and hand them over to him when he gets home in the evenings for a little while and for me to stand back and let him mind them!!

Gee_G

Sligo1 wrote: »

When my husband gets home from work, I'm like.... "Here you go!".... Could you try this? . I spose everyone's different tho. My husbands great.... But I don't really give him a choice either. Lol

I'm exactly the same...count down the minutes until his home time
Since day one when he gets home he takes over kiddie duties while I do dinner, washing, clean up, whatever.
I do agree with what an above poster said though about having to ask for the help. Men think totally different to women and can't see what needs to be done! Its just the way they are God love them ha ha