No Sleep and No Coffee Makes Parents Something Something

nikpmup

I was having this conversation with my sister yesterday (about partners capability or lack thereof!) and we came to the conclusion that it's not that they are incapable, it's that we* are (to an extent) control freaks!
While I'd love to just leave the house of a Saturday evening for a night out, I know that realistically, I'm not going to go out without making sure that he's changed, fed and down for the night, that the bottles are made, spare bottles are washed & sterilised, and anything else that needs to be done is done. I should just leave him to do it - I'm sure he's more than capable - but my problem would be (or my fear is - founded or unfounded) that the delicately balanced routine that I have Hugo in would be upset, and I'd be back to square one.
I guess I need to cut the apron strings a bit, and let himself find his own way of doing things, as well as accept that just because my partners methods (of caring for Hugo) are different to mine it doesn't mean that they are wrong! It's hard to do though, so I'm stuck in a catch-22 - I can't really complain that he doesn't pull his weight enough if I don't let him!!

*myself and my sister, not women in general!

Fairie

Nikpmup I have to agree with you! I do completely take over with the girls, it is hard to stand back while anyone else comforts them,for me I automatically go to pick them up it's not easy to switch off mammy mode! The dads are well capable of looking after their babies right this evening boyfriend gets an hour of daddy and daughters bonding time mammy is going to eat her dinner in peace and have a HOT cup of tea!

Emmadilema123

It was about this time 3 years ago that I was rocking up to the ward with my first born. Today on his 3rd birthday he is a confident,affectionate,considerate and intelligent little man. Can't help but feel some serious mammy pride today :-D

Emmadilema123

Sligo1 wrote: »

When my husband gets home from work, I'm like.... "Here you go!".... Could you try this? . I spose everyone's different tho. My husbands great.... But I don't really give him a choice either. Lol

Ha ha I'm the same! I don't ask him I just tell him. He is very good but we both work full time so it has to be 50/50 I can't do everything lol

ashcon

Major rant alert..

Moses basket is my side of bed. Bout 5am this morn hubby elbows me in my ribs and says "I think he has just been sick", I immediately jump up, turn on lights & reach into basket, he's totally fine, was just making usual noises in his sleep that hubby usually snores through.
I was thinking bout this all day so when hubby got in from work and we were chatting I asked him why didn't he jump up to check on baby if he thought he heard him being sick? His response was "well I would have had to get out of bed to check him".
If there is a new mom arrested tonight for suffocating her husband in his sleep you'll all know why.

Emmadilema123

ashcon wrote: »

Major rant alert..

Moses basket is my side of bed. Bout 5am this morn hubby elbows me in my ribs and says "I think he has just been sick", I immediately jump up, turn on lights & reach into basket, he's totally fine, was just making usual noises in his sleep that hubby usually snores through.
I was thinking bout this all day so when hubby got in from work and we were chatting I asked him why didn't he jump up to check on baby if he thought he heard him being sick? His response was "well I would have had to get out of bed to check him".
If there is a new mom arrested tonight for suffocating her husband in his sleep you'll all know why.

Ha ha I had this problem on my first but it was my first so I always wanted him beside me. Baby 2 i was a bit more relaxed so we took turns with co sleeper on my side one night and hubby's the next. Those inbetween nights of not being on patrol were enough for me to get a good night sleep because on the nights I was beside her I did check on her a lot and didn't really go into deep sleep. It's crazy how something so small can make such a big difference.

Synyster Shadow

My moan is a teething 9 month old who is all over with his sleep and won't eat during the day rathers scream at me. This along with been a punch back for baby number 2. Accompanied with the stress of a court case next month causing me anxiety attacks and just down right blues I'm at the end of my rope. I just want to enjoy this time in life. Not be worrying non stop!

Ok moan over. On an up note DS has nearly 6 teeth got. That's 6 less that he has to get

Pat McGhee

Can't sleep. The bloody numbers game song from baby tv is stuck on a loop in my head! And the dog next door is crying, I wanna give him a cuddle, poor mite.

bp

And awake at 4.30 again.....we used to have such a good sleeper :-(

nikpmup

House broken into, car (containing buggy, car seat and car seat base, as well as stokke sling) stolen. Heart broken

loubian

nikpmup wrote: »

House broken into, car (containing buggy, car seat and car seat base, as well as stokke sling) stolen. Heart broken

omg that's awful. my friend's parents house was broken into aswell last night. hope you're all ok xx

Sligo1

nikpmup wrote: »

House broken into, car (containing buggy, car seat and car seat base, as well as stokke sling) stolen. Heart broken

Omg! R ye all ok? My house was broken into a few years ago while we were all asleep in bed! They took all my keys but must've got disturbed as the bunch of keys was found in neighbours garden minus the car key!

It's very frightening to think someone was in your house! I had to sleep with the light on for days...

nikpmup

We're okay but both the cars are gone, it'll be a nightmare to sort out. I'm trying to stay positive but all I can see are the muddy boot prints all over the floor and I'm horrified. They even went through the baby's change bag I'm just about back on an even keel mentally/emotionally after Hugo's birth; I'm praying this doesn't throw me back.

Sligo1

nikpmup wrote: »

We're okay but both the cars are gone, it'll be a nightmare to sort out. I'm trying to stay positive but all I can see are the muddy boot prints all over the floor and I'm horrified. They even went through the baby's change bag I'm just about back on an even keel mentally/emotionally after Hugo's birth; I'm praying this doesn't throw me back.

O god, you poor thing. I hope it's sorted quickly for ye .

Rockys Lover

My 17 month old shocked the bejasus out of us on Tuesday night and slept through the night for the first time!

He, however, for the last two nights been worse that he ever was. I always have a bottle of milk in the room, just in case, last night I had to get up to refill it! He was definitely well fed going to bed as I tried to recreate Tuesday's day - he will be the death of me, my eyes are blacker than coal today with the exhaustion.

Nikpmup, hope you get things sorted out quickly, right pain in the ass!

Emmadilema123

nikpmup wrote: »

House broken into, car (containing buggy, car seat and car seat base, as well as stokke sling) stolen. Heart broken

Oh god that is appalling. I'd say you are absolutely raging! Thank god you slept through and didn't find yourself face to face with these people.

wolfpawnat

nikpmup, there is nothing worse. It's not even the stuff more than the sense of invasion of your home. Hopefully it will be sorted easy enough for you, no one deserves that.

bp

nikpmup wrote: »

House broken into, car (containing buggy, car seat and car seat base, as well as stokke sling) stolen. Heart broken

That is awful. The only solace you can take is that they stayed away from Hugo. I hope you are doing ok :-(

January

First off, nikpmup, I hope you're all ok and not too shaken up. Your insurance will cover you for everything that was lost, especially if you still have receipts knocking about for the baby stuff. I'd hate to have that feeling of my space being invaded like that though. We came back to a cracked door window one of the days after a school run, was done from the outside so we always make sure to put the alarm and lock the porch door now, it still made me wary for a while though.

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I know this sounds like an odd complaint, but over the last few weeks people keep saying to me "Ah sure, you're lucky, you have himself to help you with the kids" and I don't know what to say. Hand on my heart, if he isn't here, and if he is, it is totally the same. He does absolutely nothing with the kids that would give me "the break" I am supposed to be getting. I mean, don't get me wrong, he is talking to me and interacts with them, but he never has done a nappy/feed/night. Not a single one. And he doesn't mind them so I can get a nap, or go for a walk, nothing. I am 100% in charge of them all day every day, bar school time and all I get is disbelieving looks when I say I am tired, or worn out. What are other men doing? I feel like I am being left out of some really big secret society of domesticated man.

D was like this until very recently... but I figured something out... it was me that was automatically just doing everything without bothering to tell him I was going to go do something and he was watching the girls while I did it... he had said it to me before but when the girls were newborn and I just didn't want to let them be away from me and he just ignored it blissfully for a while.

Now, if I need to go somewhere I just tell him, I'm going X at X time and will be back by X, you're up and off I go... I know it's hard with himself in college but you do need a break also, especially with having nobody nearby to even just take a breather for half an hour. Even if you were to get out for a walk on your own for an hour would be a great help, he doesn't need to do any cleaning just literally look after the kiddies! Try it the next chance you get when he has a bit of time off.

Emmadilema123

Bit of a dilema here.... Baby is shattered and looking for bottle. Usually put her down at 7 and she sleeps till 7 but if she is super tired I let her go at 6.30 to 6.30. The only thing is I plan to be super hungover in the morning ha ha my husband will be here in the morning but all hell breaks loose when he is in charge and I end up getting up anyway... She is totes emosh though so I might have to give in and start bed time routine

Emmadilema123

January wrote: »

First off, nikpmup, I hope you're all ok and not too shaken up. Your insurance will cover you for everything that was lost, especially if you still have receipts knocking about for the baby stuff. I'd hate to have that feeling of my space being invaded like that though. We came back to a cracked door window one of the days after a school run, was done from the outside so we always make sure to put the alarm and lock the porch door now, it still made me wary for a while though.



D was like this until very recently... but I figured something out... it was me that was automatically just doing everything without bothering to tell him I was going to go do something and he was watching the girls while I did it... he had said it to me before but when the girls were newborn and I just didn't want to let them be away from me and he just ignored it blissfully for a while.

Now, if I need to go somewhere I just tell him, I'm going X at X time and will be back by X, you're up and off I go... I know it's hard with himself in college but you do need a break also, especially with having nobody nearby to even just take a breather for half an hour. Even if you were to get out for a walk on your own for an hour would be a great help, he doesn't need to do any cleaning just literally look after the kiddies! Try it the next chance you get when he has a bit of time off.

January you are a lot nicer than me. If I'm leaving the house I expect cleaning to be done ha ha

January

Emmadilema123 wrote: »

January you are a lot nicer than me. If I'm leaving the house I expect cleaning to be done ha ha

Oh nooo he cleans! In fact he does the majority of cleaning in the house! It was a suggestion that rather than throwing wolfpaws partner in at the deep end with both minding kids and cleaning that he just mind the kids for now to give her a break.

Emmadilema123

January wrote: »

Oh nooo he cleans! In fact he does the majority of cleaning in the house! It was a suggestion that rather than throwing wolfpaws partner in at the deep end with both minding kids and cleaning that he just mind the kids for now to give her a break.

Oh right lol I'm terrible... I give the poor man a list as long as his arm before I leave the house :-P

Emmadilema123

Emmadilema123 wrote: »

Bit of a dilema here.... Baby is shattered and looking for bottle. Usually put her down at 7 and she sleeps till 7 but if she is super tired I let her go at 6.30 to 6.30. The only thing is I plan to be super hungover in the morning ha ha my husband will be here in the morning but all hell breaks loose when he is in charge and I end up getting up anyway... She is totes emosh though so I might have to give in and start bed time routine

So baba is down half an hour now. This is so gonna come back to bite me on the bum but she was bawling. Doubt the little man will go down as easy though because he is super sick at the moment. Full of phlegm.

Roesy

Heading out tonight too and our little monkey is overtired. She's like a wasp. She fell asleep twice already and woke up very quickly. She usually doesn't go down until after 9 and is dozing now. I'd say she's going to give himself a tough evening.

Emmadilema123

Roesy wrote: »

Heading out tonight too and our little monkey is overtired. She's like a wasp. She fell asleep twice already and woke up very quickly. She usually doesn't go down until after 9 and is dozing now. I'd say she's going to give himself a tough evening.

Mine woke too lol and the little guy is no nearer to sleep than he was when he woke this morning lol my friend that I was supposed to be going out with has caught her head in a boot door ha ha so she is now sporting a massive bump and can't be seen in public . Girly night in with wine and Chinese instead.

nikpmup

OH's mam kindly offered to buy us a buggy so that we don't have to wait until the insurance cheque comes (we'll reimburse her then) Bought a baby elegance pebble travel system, pram, car seat, buggy, and isofix base for €379. Not bad! It looks good and it's light, don't know how well it'll perform. I'm somewhat more settled than I was this morning but I'm still fuming. Only realised about an hour ago that the thieving scumbags stole a gift bag containing a Clinique gift set that my lovely OH bought me for my birthday from our son. I mean, what the fcuk are they going to do with that?!

ashcon

nikpmup wrote: »

OH's mam kindly offered to buy us a buggy so that we don't have to wait until the insurance cheque comes (we'll reimburse her then) Bought a baby elegance pebble travel system, pram, car seat, buggy, and isofix base for €379. Not bad! It looks good and it's light, don't know how well it'll perform. I'm somewhat more settled than I was this morning but I'm still fuming. Only realised about an hour ago that the thieving scumbags stole a gift bag containing a Clinique gift set that my lovely OH bought me for my birthday from our son. I mean, what the fcuk are they going to do with that?!

That's a fantastic price for all you got nikpmup, I hav the beep travel system and love it, I'm sure the pebble will b perfect.

As for those who broke into your home, I strongly believe in karma and what goes around comes around.
Hopefully you and your family will get over this quickly and don't let those feckers waste any more of your time x

bp

Feckers - at least you have the travel system now

Roesy

Grrr, wide awake! She was good enough while I was out. A couple of grizzly spells but otherwise fine. She's conked since 11 and I'm awake since she started stirring around 5ish. Husband got up and settled her and will get up if she wakes and will get up this morning with her so I really should be happily snoring my head off and thanking the Lord that I'm not too hungover(yet!).