No Sleep and No Coffee Makes Parents Something Something

Emmadilema123

loubian wrote: »

I feel bad about ranting about this but I need to. I appreciate all the help I get off my parents, but sometimes they can be so annoying. A is my child, therefore I feel responsible for everything she does, even if she's in their care. So while they've helped out today, A has been whinging all day and it's driving me mad. She was refusing to go to sleep until I walked out of the room and let her cry for a few minutes. Obviously my dad didn't know what i was doing and start giving out to me because she was crying. Went I went into her she went asleep but they make me feel so inadequate sometimes. I'm trying my best ffs.

This is standard. I just try to remember that it always comes from a good place. It's natural for someone to think their way is the best way otherwise they would be doing something else. You however have the upper hand because you have your motherly instinct and you need to trust that. Don't feel inadequate about it. Mine think they are being subtle when they do it but they are about as subtle as a sledge hammer ha ha it took a few times of me going against my own instincts and taking the advice of someone else to realise my way is best because I AM MAMA :-D It takes a while to feel that confidence in yourself but hang in there because it comes.

Chattastrophe!

Gee_G wrote: »

Grandparents do that whether you live with them or not
According to my parents my child is always hungry or needs a nappy change!!:) I don't think they mean it, think they just get a little over protective of grandchildren

According to my mother, the baby always needs to be burped. Always.

Even if he's squirming in his nappy, or panting for a feed, she insists it's burping he needs.

Emmadilema123

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

According to my mother, the baby always needs to be burped. Always.

Even if he's squirming in his nappy, or panting for a feed, she insists it's burping he needs.

Or hungry! They are always hungry according to grandparents lol

Rachineire

I get the - he must be so tired, does he need a sleep??

The child could have just been up from a 2 hour nap!

nikpmup

Oh, my mother insists that he's always cold. Even if he's roasting!

Emmadilema123

I think it's safe to say your not alone loubian lol

Roesy

Gee_G wrote: »

Grandparents do that whether you live with them or not
According to my parents my child is always hungry or needs a nappy change!!:) I don't think they mean it, think they just get a little over protective of grandchildren

Ha! One side reckons she always has wind, one reckons she's hungry!!!

Chattastrophe!

nikpmup wrote: »

Oh, my mother insists that he's always cold. Even if he's roasting!

My parents keep the heating on constantly when I have him home, even though I tell them it's far too warm. And are constantly putting extra blankets etc on him.

I would actually be far more concerned about having him too warm than too cold!

nikpmup

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

My parents keep the heating on constantly when I have him home, even though I tell them it's far too warm. And are constantly putting extra blankets etc on him.

I would actually be far more concerned about having him too warm than too cold!

Me too, in fact he hates being hot - a surefire way to calm him down if he's cranky is to take his trousers off!

wolfpawnat

nikpmup wrote: »

Oh, my mother insists that he's always cold. Even if he's roasting!

Yeah, we get that. Even in a thick jacket resembling the lagging jacket on the emersion, my kids are apparently cold. And malnourished, if it were up to the MIL, my kids would be fed tubs of lard all day every day. I wouldn't mind, but not one of us, his side or myself, are in anyway big!

When she pushes it too far, I point to myself and say "mother" then to her "Grandmother" or "you had your chance to fúck up you kids, now it's my turn"

January

My mam goes mad when I don't put coats on the kids going into the car! Sure they can't wear their coats in their car seats anyway so what's the point in putting their coats on to go out the door and take them straight back off before they get into the car!!

Neyite

I have to say, my mother is great, defers to me in all baby-related situations, and even when she is suggesting something, takes great care to phrase it as a suggestion, but that I know best as the mother.

The other side don't say much to me. Though when I'm disciplining the toddler it really bugs me that the both grandparents give out to him at the same time I do. I think its confusing as hell and must feel like a load of adults ganging up on him. And as it happens, he does mostly listen to me so I don't need backup.

Having said that, there were concerns I heard through the grapevine that my breastfeeding him might not be giving him enough. But that's more of a generational thing and I just laughed it off. Mostly.

dublinlady

Mine give out that she won't eat dinner but then give her a slice of cake every day half and hour before dinner... Without asking me - it drives me insane!

Pat McGhee

My mother tells me I should leave my LO cry. "It's good for her lungs. But you shouldn't let boys cry, they could rupture." WTF???
Btw, 4 brothers and I'm the only girl. All 4 couldn't boil an egg when they left home. Mamas boys the lot.

Rachineire

Pat McGhee wrote: »

My mother tells me I should leave my LO cry. "It's good for her lungs. But you shouldn't let boys cry, they could rupture." WTF???
Btw, 4 brothers and I'm the only girl. All 4 couldn't boil an egg when they left home. Mamas boys the lot.

Yeah my MIL was telling me that crying is good for thier lungs malarkey. ...I don't think he needed his llungs strengthened at 2 months old...he needed a bottle/nappy change/nap/etc.

wolfpawnat

Rachineire wrote: »

Yeah my MIL was telling me that crying is good for thier lungs malarkey. ...I don't think he needed his llungs strengthened at 2 months old...he needed a bottle/nappy change/nap/etc.

We got the "He/She will go into convulsions if you let them cry." I wouldn't mind, but it was not as if I wanted my baby crying.

Suucee

Yea also used to get the crying is good for the lungs one. Drove me up the wall.
Neyite my mum is the sane re discipline. If i give out so does she.
Then gives out to her for silly things that i would just ignore. Like throwing a toy on the ground when she cant get it to do what she wants etc.
But mil is the oppisite. If i say stop etc she says ah shes grand leave her.
Also i started the bold step recently as sge started head butting.
Put her on the step in her nans (mil) Nothing said until i brought her back in and gave her kiss and cuddle then her nan called her over and started saying "oh poor lil A what happened. You poor thing" . A started crying and cuddling into her. Made me feel like such a bad guy.

Synyster Shadow

My dad is always given off to me because he screams when poo nappy is been changed which started around the time I'd to use depositories. And other stupid things so I had to pull him on it.. my MIL is a real pain he's happy doing something she'll pick him up get sick of him after half a man and put him down then does it again and again then he's getting annoyed and is crying. Also she wants to take him when this baby comes but doesn't want to know this baby at all so I had to say no that they won't be separated like that. Plus I won't or my husband won't let her have either. She had him for an hour one day and came to us (we were somewhere which had stairs and couldn't bring our son in his buggy) and left him unattended in a busy building full of all sorts. I was ill at the thought of it all and swore then that was it..

nikpmup

Funny, my dad is the one who thinks he knows best. If my son is crying in his earshot, my dad will follow me around telling me how to rock him and shush him - the child is crying because he's tired, and I know two or three minutes of me cuddling him in a QUIET ENVIRONMENT without my dad yapping in his ear and upsetting him and he'll be grand. Try telling the aulfella that though. He's a bit of a know-it-all generally though so I just smile and nod and do it my own way.

kandr10

The smile and mid is the best strategy. Hard to learn though :-) sometimes I lose the plot instead!

ambybamby

Hi new to this have a 10 and a half week old so havnt slept in over 2 months been trying so hard to like coffee but really dont lol , then all day just sat with baby on my lap doing nothing and but then still not able to do anything , feeling stressed :P

nicowa

ambybamby wrote: »

Hi new to this have a 10 and a half week old so havnt slept in over 2 months been trying so hard to like coffee but really dont lol , then all day just sat with baby on my lap doing nothing and but then still not able to do anything , feeling stressed :P

Try not to stress yourself. I was a useless lump (re any kind of housework) for the first 3 mths of both my children. My husband absolutely did not judge. They sleep, eat and need changing so much during the day. And then when you do get an hour all you want to do is just crash on the couch... It does get easier.

As for the taste of coffee? Sugar. Lots. Though I don't really drink coffee as I'm still breastfeeding and that would be like shooting myself in the foot. I'm awake two hours at the moment - we're downstairs playing - and all I'm relying on is a cup of decaf tea (with sugar). I think it's mostly the sugar that's doing the job...

Rachineire

Why why why cant my boy not destoy an entire area in .5 seconds?! I want one of those kids who will sit and play with something, anything for 5 minutes!

also I had my first experience of catching him playing with his poo. I have no idea if he put anyin his mouth or not. (Mother of the year award headed my way!)

I am now on the couch with a coffew and praying for an extra long nap today.

nikpmup

Crankiest little man in the world today, I put him in the sling where he fell asleep. I'm now trying to eat lunch and have dropped a big blob of chicken and mayo on his head. It's bound to be god for cradle cap, right?!

ambybamby

How old are all your little ones bdw ?
Ya he's starting to watch telly no so at least can plop him in his swing in front of baby tv and get somthig done :P
Racineire my fella has done that has recently found his Willy and things its great fun to grap it when poo on it so trying to keep his legs up and hands still with one hand and clean bum with the other I think us mothers could do with an enxyra hand or two

kandr10

nikpmup wrote: »

Crankiest little man in the world today, I put him in the sling where he fell asleep. I'm now trying to eat lunch and have dropped a big blob of chicken and mayo on his head. It's bound to be god for cradle cap, right?!

Lol that's my no 1 challenge while using the sling. I always try to settle her to the side slightly so I can drink tea (through a straw!)

January

ambybamby wrote: »

How old are all your little ones bdw ?
Ya he's starting to watch telly no so at least can plop him in his swing in front of baby tv and get somthig done :P
Racineire my fella has done that has recently found his Willy and things its great fun to grap it when poo on it so trying to keep his legs up and hands still with one hand and clean bum with the other I think us mothers could do with an enxyra hand or two

I have a 5 year old, a 4 year old and a 2 year old with new baby due in April!

lolademmers

Wow January respect! I have a 4 month old. The absolute centre of my world. My only regret is that I wish I had stayed in college got myself a degree and had a better job to provide for him. I'm on maternity leave at the moment and I just have a crappy job in retail to go back to. My OH is wonderful and works every hour he can but I would love to have a better job. I'm thinking of night classes but I live in the middle of nowhere and the nearest town the would have anything like that is half an hour away so will see what happens as I wil be going back to work full time and will only be home at 7 in the evening.
Determined to better myself for my boy though.

yellow hen

lolademmers wrote: »

Wow January respect! I have a 4 month old. The absolute centre of my world. My only regret is that I wish I had stayed in college got myself a degree and had a better job to provide for him. I'm on maternity leave at the moment and I just have a crappy job in retail to go back to. My OH is wonderful and works every hour he can but I would love to have a better job. I'm thinking of night classes but I live in the middle of nowhere and the nearest town the would have anything like that is half an hour away so will see what happens as I wil be going back to work full time and will only be home at 7 in the evening.
Determined to better myself for my boy though.

You don't need a better job to be better for your son. Wanting to be the best you can is the most important thing. I have a good job and to be honest, extra pay tends to come with extra responsibility and accountability and ultimately extra stress. Look on nightcourses.ie to see if you can find something you'd like. Start with something short and not too intensive to make sure you can balance being a mother and a scholar

lolademmers

Thanks for that yellow hen. Its all a juggling act isn't it? :-)