No Sleep and No Coffee Makes Parents Something Something

Chattastrophe!

lilmissprincess wrote: »

My pre baby friends seem to have fallen off the face of the earth, or else seem to assume that I've got the Black Plague. I'm finding myself getting resentful of my oh's social life (a few nights out a month) because none of my friends seem to remember that I used to be someone who went on nights out. The few friends I have seen in daytime lately have all moved away for the summer, it's the ones still here who seem to have forgotten that so am I. I know it's stupid and pointless rant but I'm feeling very lonely and starting to resent my new life for this. I love my baby and wouldn't trade him for the world (though a quieter model at night does sound intriguing) but I wasn't expecting this bit to be so hard.

Yeah, this, too. They were all about the big First Meeting with the baby and the First Presents. But now I just don't exist anymore to them. I have no family around. My boyfriend's family and friends hate me.

I'm back to work now though, that's given me some bit of life and hope!

It's just crap, I can't even offer any advice. It can be very lonely sometimes. PM me if you ever want to. xx

kandr10

Some of my friends never even bothered coming to see my girl. She's 8months!

lilmissprincess

It's starting to look like I might have to change to working from home to add more flexibility, and I think thats where my big issue is - that this is what I'm facing into for the foreseeable future. Started crying last night and woke up the same way this morning, and I can't be doing that with the tiny man to look after all day, he wants a smily Mammy to play with him!

Cunning Stunt

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

Yeah, this, too. They were all about the big First Meeting with the baby and the First Presents. But now I just don't exist anymore to them. I have no family around. My boyfriend's family and friends hate me.

I'm back to work now though, that's given me some bit of life and hope!

It's just crap, I can't even offer any advice. It can be very lonely sometimes. PM me if you ever want to. xx

something similar going on here too - living abroad so have none of my friends or family around me. Have to rely on my OHs friends and family for company - his family live a long way off though and his friends also seem to be 'missing' since the baby came.....it's just me and the baby at home most days and it's starting to get a bit unbearable - I feel terrible for saying this but I actually look forward to getting back to work, so I will have some company!

Chattastrophe!

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

something similar going on here too - living abroad so have none of my friends or family around me. Have to rely on my OHs friends and family for company - his family live a long way off though and his friends also seem to be 'missing' since the baby came.....it's just me and the baby at home most days and it's starting to get a bit unbearable - I feel terrible for saying this but I actually look forward to getting back to work, so I will have some company!

Honestly I thought I'd never in a million years say this, but I'm fecking delighted and relieved to be back at work.

I'm happier - I feel wanted, needed, fulfilled, part of society, a real person again.

I am perfectly happy that my beautiful perfect little man is being looked after by very lovely friendly people who I trust and who only want the very best for him.

I want my son to grow up and to have a career of his choice. I work so hard on my career path (and have BIG BIG BIG plans for the next three years.)

I want him to be happy and healthy and well looked after and loved. I want to continue in my career, too. I'm so grateful that these two things are not mutually exclusive.

Suucee

I was like that but go to loads of parent and toddler grps and set up meet ups outside the groups. So making new friends that are mammys . One of my closest friends has a child but shes not great at meeting up or anything. Another friend i hadnt seen since last oct. And only met baba last week.

Loubian they can really sence stress and tension. So if u are tired and stressed and tensed she will know and also be worked up. I used to notice this when at home all day with crying teething baba who wouldnt nap or rsst. OH would come home and she would be full of smiles and chilled out and go asleep no prob.
This time i just go with the flow.

Gee_G

You really find out who your real friends are when you have a baby. Two of my "best friends", one of them has come to see my son once, the other one, twice.....my son is two!! Things change when you can no longer drop everything at the last minute to go out for a night or have big nights in with a few bottles of wine with them. I used to get pissed off, upset and angry about it but now I am so content with my family life that when we do have cash to spare or whatever I just love going off somewhere for the day, just the three of us. And i couldn't be bothered now about all that crap because they obviously werent real friends in the first place and im better off without them!!:)

iguana

lilmissprincess wrote: »

It's starting to look like I might have to change to working from home to add more flexibility, and I think thats where my big issue is - that this is what I'm facing into for the foreseeable future. Started crying last night and woke up the same way this morning, and I can't be doing that with the tiny man to look after all day, he wants a smily Mammy to play with him!

Have you any baby groups around you that you can attend around your work commitments? I know they have a bad reputation for being bitchy and everyone being really competitive about their babies, but ime, they are wonderful and not at all like that. I've met lots of amazing women at groups and have made some great friends, including one of the posters from a few posts above (waves). It's hard work at first but now I have a great group of women who I can meet with, and sometimes without, our babies and it really works because we all understand each other's commitments and make the effort to work around them to meet up.

lolademmers

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

Honestly I thought I'd never in a million years say this, but I'm fecking delighted and relieved to be back at work.

I'm happier - I feel wanted, needed, fulfilled, part of society, a real person again.

I am perfectly happy that my beautiful perfect little man is being looked after by very lovely friendly people who I trust and who only want the very best for him.

I want my son to grow up and to have a career of his choice. I work so hard on my career path (and have BIG BIG BIG plans for the next three years.)

I want him to be happy and healthy and well looked after and loved. I want to continue in my career, too. I'm so grateful that these two things are not mutually exclusive.

So jealous! I have a crap job that I hate. Would love to go to college as a mature student but I'm the main earner so would be impossible. I'm saving hard for my sons future so he can have all the opportunities I didn't. If he doesn't want to go to college mammy and daddy are going on a round the world cruise!!

yellow hen

I feel like tearing my hair out. For the last 2+ months out little 16 month old boy has been teething on and off. This time it was really bad though so I figured it was his molar or eye teeth as he already has 8 front teeth. We get a really bad week and then maybe a weeks grace and then we start all over again. Last night he started up again and he us actually just miserable. He's sitting up and falling down with tiredness and then crawling around the place all the while roaring crying. Tonight we gave him a paralink going to bed at 7 and already by 8:30 we just had the same routine. I gave him neurofen then along with calgel and he's just fallen asleep 45 mins later but I imagine he'll be ip again by 11. I'm exhausted and feel miserable watching him suffer so much. Has anyone got any tips that worked for them?

How Strange

Yellow Hen my son was exactly like that with his molars from 16-19 months. I was just pregnant on A during the worst of it and I felt like crying every night. We gave him far too much nurofen and calpol and even teethdex during the worst of it. However, it does pass :S and for us that was the end of the bad teething and the over medicating.

On the topic of friends, my best friend never showed a bit of interest in meeting my son. She came over to see me one night to rant and rave about her on/off boyfriend and that was the last time I saw her. She never once asked about O who was six months. After that I cut all contact. However I was lonely as hell and quite down at times. I was very surprised at how lonely I felt as I not usually like that. I was so glad to get back to work too just to feel like my old self again.

lolademmers

It's all a bit lonely isn't it? Working full time so at the weekends I try pack in all I can with my son and boyfriend. Doesn't leave much time for much else really. Had such a busy day yesterday I was in bed at 8 last night!

yellow hen

How Strange wrote: »

Yellow Hen my son was exactly like that with his molars from 16-19 months. I was just pregnant on A during the worst of it and I felt like crying every night. We gave him far too much nurofen and calpol and even teethdex during the worst of it. However, it does pass :S and for us that was the end of the bad teething and the over medicating.

It always helps hearing someone else say that they had the same experience. He's just so miserable right now but it's definitely teeth so I know it'll pass. Out of curiousty, can you still buy teethdex? I've heard the name but never seen it on a shelf.

How Strange

It's still sold in pharmacies but is licenced for over 2 years old. I think it has pretty much the same ingredients as dozol and contains an antihistamine which helps them sleep.

nikpmup

My lad just woke up screaming a blood-curdling howl that would wake the dead. Cue panicked mammy and daddy taking the stairs two at a time, picking him up, rocking him, shushing him, looking at each other in panic, giving him calpol and bonjela, and wondering at what point do we throw him in the car and belt to Temple St. At just that point, Jnr does The MOTHER of all farts - seriously, 15 seconds long and about 4 musical notes - stinks the bedroom out, sighs, and settles back to sleep with I kid you not, a smile on his face.


I need wine.


He's not getting garlic in his dinner anymore.

Cunning Stunt

We just spent another hour and a half in and out of the bedroom, trying to get our 7 month old asleep. We're like a wrestling tag team, taking turns to go in and soothe him.

On evenings like these, my mothers words always ring in my head ''he'll find his own sleep rhythm'' (the woman had 7 of us so she must have a clue) and I can't help thinking that if we had just let him stay up with us, rolling around on the sitting room floor, he'd probably have fallen asleep after one hour anyway, only more happily - so is the sleep training worth all the hassle?

is there anyone out there who is not into sleep training their child?
Have any of you ever just let your baby find their own sleep rhythm, and did they settle into a rhythm at all? Is there anyone who didn't bother with bedtime routines etc and if so, how did that work out for you?

yellow hen

Hi cunning, we never sleep trained. I hadn't the heart or determination to see it through so we just took it one day at a time. Now he wasn't allowed play for endless hours and bedtime is still about 7:30 but we let him play with his books etc. if he cries I cuddle him and often lift him out to play on the bed for a minute. Overall he is quite good and I do think he found his own sleep pattern.

Sittingpretty

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

We just spent another hour and a half in and out of the bedroom, trying to get our 7 month old asleep. We're like a wrestling tag team, taking turns to go in and soothe him.

On evenings like these, my mothers words always ring in my head ''he'll find his own sleep rhythm'' (the woman had 7 of us so she must have a clue) and I can't help thinking that if we had just let him stay up with us, rolling around on the sitting room floor, he'd probably have fallen asleep after one hour anyway, only more happily - so is the sleep training worth all the hassle?

is there anyone out there who is not into sleep training their child?
Have any of you ever just let your baby find their own sleep rhythm, and did they settle into a rhythm at all? Is there anyone who didn't bother with bedtime routines etc and if so, how did that work out for you?

Never sleep trained either, took the rough with the smooth. It's not easy but it does pass

Cunning Stunt

Thanks Yellow hen -how old is your child by the way?
It's nice that you still have a consistent bedtime even though you never had to sleep train. We have tried taking him out of the cot and rocking him or putting him in our bed but he still cries - I might take a leaf out of your book and see if taking him out and letting him sit up and play on the bed for a while makes a difference.

nikpmup

Could my 9.5mth old be getting his first molar? He's just cut tooth #8 about a week ago, it's well through but still quite small. We've had a few upset nights - he's been a horror going to bed, screaming and crying, he's been waking at 12 or 1 most nights crying as well. He's dribbling and chewing furiously during the day, ear pulling and rosy cheeked. After last nights big fart (!) he woke again at 2.30am inconsolable for an hour. And naps during the day are hard fought. This evening putting him to bed he grabbed my finger and chomped down hard, at the back of his mouth. His gums feel bumpy but he won't let me near them to look, and he's really fussing when I'm brushing his teeth which he never did before. I know he's a bit young for a first molar but there's definitely something up!

yellow hen

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

Thanks Yellow hen -how old is your child by the way?
It's nice that you still have a consistent bedtime even though you never had to sleep train. We have tried taking him out of the cot and rocking him or putting him in our bed but he still cries - I might take a leaf out of your book and see if taking him out and letting him sit up and play on the bed for a while makes a difference.

He's 16 months now. I think try a few things and see how it goes. Our guy only got pretty consistent after 12 months. I used to dream of a full nights sleep!

loubian

yellow hen wrote: »

He's 16 months now. I think try a few things and see how it goes. Our guy only got pretty consistent after 12 months. I used to dream of a full nights sleep!

This is good to know. At the moment, bubs has to fall asleep in my arms before I put her in the cot. If I put her in while she's awake, she goes berserk. I'm gonna have to stop it soon as she's getting heavy and my back is wrecked but I really don't know where to start.

How Strange

My son was a good sleeper after 7 months and we noticed we'd have 4-6 weeks of a full nights sleep and then 4-6 weeks of waking a lot. All in all he was very predictable and we knew a bad phase would pass so we never had to consider sleep training.

My daughter is completely different. I don't think she'll be a consistently good sleeper for a few years yet. By 11 months I was completely exhausted from her waking at least twice a night and a lot of times she'd be wide awake at 3am. I went with the no cry sleep solution and I found it fantastic. I couldn't do crying it out/controlled crying but the method did work and she learned how to get back to sleep. In fairness to her she always loves going to bed.

It depends on your child but I've noticed with my son that since he turned 3 a bad night is very rare. Only 2 years to go with our little madam!

Neyite

Even as a newborn, my toddler didnt nap or sleep like any other baby and slept about half of what the books said he should be sleeping.

I initally tried to sleep train but he resisted any efforts I made. And I was NOT going to leave him to cry. Just not my thing. He really did find his own rhythm and sleep pattern. But its only now at age two that we are starting to see him sleep through. Some people might say that if we persevered, he would have slept but I know in my heart of hearts he is too stubborn for that to have worked.

Keep the routine - bath, bottle, brush teeth, nappy change, story, whatever it is, consistent and decide what you want to do about the rest of it.

Cunning Stunt

Phew - great to see there are people who didn't do the sleep training and whose babies did indeed 'find their rhythm' - I was beginning to despair that we were the only ones who had issues with sleep training!

Our issue is not so much with him waking during the night, it is more with actually getting him to start his night sleep in the first place. He's grand for the most part when he's finally gone asleep. I have considered getting black out blinds for our room because I think he might believe it's still early in the day and that's why he holds out for so long...

Neyite

Oh deffo darken the room, you need to do that, especially this time of year. I did, and I even go in there for siestas in the spare bed when its too bright in our own room. :pac:

Cunning Stunt

Thanks for all the info. Another general question for those of you who bottlefeed - what age was your baby when you stopped sterilizing the bottles?

Synyster Shadow

Stopped at 11 months he was crawling and picking up things and putting them in his mouth.. Plus baby and was arriving a month later wasn't sterilising 2 lots.. Bless ye mammies with twins

January

12 months on the first, 6 months on the second two and will be 6 months on this one too... by that time they were rolling around licking the floor and putting everything and anything in their mouth.

Washed with very hot soapy water and rinsed and they were fine.

Cunning Stunt

Thanks. I ask because my lad is getting around now too - he's not crawling yet but he rolls all over the place - and several times today I had to pick him up when he was licking the floor...so I am wondering if sterilizing the bottles is a bit OTT now...