No Sleep and No Coffee Makes Parents Something Something

MurdyWurdy

wolfpawnat wrote: »

Nicowa, I have hired an employee specifically for mouse control. Only thing is he is a lazy fécker of a cat!

Little miss decided to stay awake half the night, and the next door neighbour is seemingly dying with a flu by the coughing from the apartment. So little sleep for me Ah well, onward and upward. Found some great stuff on adverts.ie for S so I am happy with that.

My cat brings in live mice sets them free and then loses interest and has a kip on the couch instead, he's lucky I love him so much ! He did it a few weeks ago and I had to hide in the bedroom with the baby until my husband got home from work and caught it

xzanti

Wish I'd spotted this thread the other day.. could really have used a good vent!!

My 2.5 yo got a horrible dose of a virus the same day my Father in Law passed away so I had to juggle the loss of my FIL, a grieving OH and a sick toddler..

I think I got no more than about 3 hours sleep per night from Thursday up until Monday..

And because I had been sleeping in beside the little one for those nights (he had a raging fever) he grew accustomed to me being there and has been waking up crying for me every few hours ever since.. so even last night I had to keep going in and getting him back to sleep.. he also still has a cough that's driving him insane

Thank God for family who are ready and willing to help out!

Rachineire

Im a bad mom today.i yelled at my lo because I was so frustrated with him. My lo has been whinging and crying with me all day- trying to get ready for work was a nightmare, he was crawling around behind me screaming crying, I pick him up he cries to go down, get him down he cries even harder. My childminder said he was happy all day but as soon as he sees me whinging starts again. All evening same thing I can't make him happy. I picked my husband up from work and now im hiding up in bed watching fraiser. Feeling so guilty but relieved for the break.

yellow hen

Rachineire wrote: »

Im a bad mom today.i yelled at my lo because I was so frustrated with him. My lo has been whinging and crying with me all day- trying to get ready for work was a nightmare, he was crawling around behind me screaming crying, I pick him up he cries to go down, get him down he cries even harder. My childminder said he was happy all day but as soon as he sees me whinging starts again. All evening same thing I can't make him happy. I picked my husband up from work and now im hiding up in bed watching fraiser. Feeling so guilty but relieved for the break.

God you make me feel terrible.. I shout at my little man too often for my liking! I need to develop more tolerance and patience but I'm fecked if I know how i do that

MurdyWurdy

Sure, we all do it. We're only human and it's seriously hard work, this baby lark.

Glad you are getting a break anyway

angelfire9

xzanti wrote: »

Wish I'd spotted this thread the other day.. could really have used a good vent!!

My 2.5 yo got a horrible dose of a virus the same day my Father in Law passed away so I had to juggle the loss of my FIL, a grieving OH and a sick toddler..

I think I got no more than about 3 hours sleep per night from Thursday up until Monday..

And because I had been sleeping in beside the little one for those nights (he had a raging fever) he grew accustomed to me being there and has been waking up crying for me every few hours ever since.. so even last night I had to keep going in and getting him back to sleep.. he also still has a cough that's driving him insane

Thank God for family who are ready and willing to help out!

2.5? Ahem is he not almost 3

xzanti

angelfire9 wrote: »

2.5? Ahem is he not almost 3

Oh he is indeed.. where does the time go :eek:

iguana

So sorry for your loss xzanti. It really is very tough isn't it. I feel awful for being worn out from visiting my mother in law in the time she has left but I'm also grieving losing her, while knowing my loss is nothing compared to my husband's and the rest of his family's.

Re shouting at the babies, what works for me is to bark. When S gets into that grisly, can't be pleased mood I bark at him. It sounds weird but he finds it hilarious and starts laughing, while I get to let off a bit of steam before ending up laughing myself.

loubian

So *yawn* so *yawn* tired *yawn*

xzanti

iguana wrote: »

So sorry for your loss xzanti. It really is very tough isn't it. I feel awful for being worn out from visiting my mother in law in the time she has left but I'm also grieving losing her, while knowing my loss is nothing compared to my husband's and the rest of his family's.

Thanks Iguana

It's heartbreaking isn't it you feel so helpless

wolfpawnat

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

My cat brings in live mice sets them free and then loses interest and has a kip on the couch instead, he's lucky I love him so much ! He did it a few weeks ago and I had to hide in the bedroom with the baby until my husband got home from work and caught it

We had a little wren brought in the other day, spent twenty minutes scrubbing blood off the carpet after he toyed with the terrified little thing. I also had a family of mice butchered on my balcony the other day. Honestly, you'd swear I wasn't feeding him!

yellow hen wrote: »

God you make me feel terrible.. I shout at my little man too often for my liking! I need to develop more tolerance and patience but I'm fecked if I know how i do that

I get so mad at my fella, I really lose the rag, and yet he still loves me, I feel so bad some dayd

Rachineire

yellow hen wrote: »

God you make me feel terrible.. I shout at my little man too often for my liking! I need to develop more tolerance and patience but I'm fecked if I know how i do that

Oh I don't mean to make you feel bad! I get impatient with my baby all of the time, its just yesterday was particularly bad. I think we were both having a bad day. He knew when I shouted at him I was angry because his little face just crumpled up and he burst into tears and I felt like a monster! ! Its nice to know that im not the only one out there who has moments like that. I feel like I see so many moms out there that are just breezing through things and have more than one baby and im struggling with my one over here!

Rachineire

P.S. im sitting in my car again while he naps in the car seat. Third time this week. Im sure I could open a window and keep an eye on him from the house but I'm much too paranoid to do that lol. I have gotten smarter though, latte and a biscuit here with me while I boards. Makes me actually rest while he naps instead of clean which is good I suppose

nicowa

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

My cat brings in live mice sets them free and then loses interest and has a kip on the couch instead, he's lucky I love him so much ! He did it a few weeks ago and I had to hide in the bedroom with the baby until my husband got home from work and caught it

My husband hates cats so no joy there. Though from the sound of it they're not always much help!

Reb does this thing where if I get really mad at her she starts sniffing and crying and whimpers "Hug?" with the arms out. I mean? What can you do only hug her?

And my OH has been away on work since Monday. Everything has been fine. Luckily. Abi has been very settled and Reb has always been a great sleeper. And the few weeks beforehand it was like we were waking each other up in the bed. But now I'm so rested (it's all relative) I can't get to sleep for missing him in the bed beside me...

How Strange

It's awful when you get frustrated with them but it's hard sometimes when they just keep whinging. Rachineire that sounds like separation anxiety. Is he around 8 months? My son was exactly the same. I couldn't even go to the toilet without him becoming hysterical.

I've found that it all gets easier by degrees after 18 months. Once they learn some words and you can start communicating together they relax a bit and I definitely became more patient. I'd say I find our toddler much easier most days than our baby even though she's so placid and happy. It's just that you can do things with the toddler. Sometimes it seems with a baby it's all give on your side.

I'm not a patient person but I've learned how to be. Also I found reading a parenting book very helpful. We're not born with parenting skills so I wanted to learn how to be patient rather than one of those harassed screaming ones you see out and about. Although some days I'm definitely harassed and screaming! I really like David Coleman and found his book excellent.

vitani

Rachineire wrote: »

Oh I don't mean to make you feel bad! I get impatient with my baby all of the time, its just yesterday was particularly bad. I think we were both having a bad day. He knew when I shouted at him I was angry because his little face just crumpled up and he burst into tears and I felt like a monster! ! Its nice to know that im not the only one out there who has moments like that. I feel like I see so many moms out there that are just breezing through things and have more than one baby and im struggling with my one over here!

Oh god, there's nothing worse! I have occasional days where I get stressed and impatient and end up picking on my LO for every little thing she does 'wrong'. More often than not, it ends in her crying in the most heartbreaking way and then I feel like the most awful mother ever, and that I'm going to end up scarring her for life.

lolademmers

Having a bad day today. LO is only 8 days old. I feel so overwhelmed with the responsibility. He kept bringing back up all his feeds today I'm trying to continue with breast feeding but I'm giving him bottles too coz my nipples are cracked. I was convinced he was sick even though he is in great form otherwise. Really resented my OH too. He took a week off work to be at home but had yet to spend a full day with us. At 4 o clock today all I had to eat was a cup of tea and scone. Really thought he would look after me better. Sorry for the rant!!

lolademmers

Having a bad day today. LO is only 8 days old. I feel so overwhelmed with the responsibility. He kept bringing back up all his feeds today I'm trying to continue with breast feeding but I'm giving him bottles too coz my nipples are cracked. I was convinced he was sick even though he is in great form otherwise. Really resented my OH too. He took a week off work to be at home but had yet to spend a full day with us. At 4 o clock today all I had to eat was a cup of tea and scone. Really thought he would look after me better. Sorry for the rant!!

Das Kitty

Make sure you tell your OH that lolademmers. He needs to look after you.

I'm moving Rory over to formula at the moment. Even with the nipple shields I am suffering. They're just stupidly sensitive. Even let-down is like razorblades and after suffering on with James I'm not prepared to go through that again.

The one thing I'm finding as I'm gradually swapping out feeds is that I'm getting very weepy. I know it's natural, but it's much stronger than it was with James at 14 weeks. I guess it's because Rory is younger and my body is processing the lessening of milk as the baby dying (sorry to be morbid). Maybe I should have gone cold turkey!

My friend was over today and I was loathe to let her hold him, so I guess the bonding is strong this time. Which is absolutely brilliant, but scary all the same.

How Strange

Ah Das Kitty it's tough when you stop breastfeeding no matter if it's after a month or a year. The hormone levels definitely change. It'll pass in a few days. However you're doing it the best way. You could end up with mastitis if you stopped cold turkey and you'd be doubly miserable then.

Das Kitty

How Strange wrote: »

Ah Das Kitty it's tough when you stop breastfeeding no matter if it's after a month or a year. The hormone levels definitely change. It'll pass in a few days. However you're doing it the best way. You could end up with mastitis if you stopped cold turkey and you'd be doubly miserable then.

Ah I'd express off the engorgement if I stopped outright. I did that with James because it was much too painful to keep latching him on and he was getting crazy grissly and gnawing. :eek:

Getting lots of TLC from my husband. Tea, Love and Cuddles.

bp

lolademmers wrote: »

Having a bad day today. LO is only 8 days old. I feel so overwhelmed with the responsibility. He kept bringing back up all his feeds today I'm trying to continue with breast feeding but I'm giving him bottles too coz my nipples are cracked. I was convinced he was sick even though he is in great form otherwise. Really resented my OH too. He took a week off work to be at home but had yet to spend a full day with us. At 4 o clock today all I had to eat was a cup of tea and scone. Really thought he would look after me better. Sorry for the rant!!

Oh we all have those days. Give you hubby babba and a bottle and you go take a bath/ walk/ nap/ coffee out and just 30 mins to yourself.

It is very over whelming but you need to communicate with the hubby as they (unfortunately they cannot read minds and don't get the utter lack of independence, especially when breast feeding). You are doing a great job - just give yourself a break.

Good luck

MurdyWurdy

Das Kitty wrote: »

Make sure you tell your OH that lolademmers. He needs to look after you.

I'm moving Rory over to formula at the moment. Even with the nipple shields I am suffering. They're just stupidly sensitive. Even let-down is like razorblades and after suffering on with James I'm not prepared to go through that again.

The one thing I'm finding as I'm gradually swapping out feeds is that I'm getting very weepy. I know it's natural, but it's much stronger than it was with James at 14 weeks. I guess it's because Rory is younger and my body is processing the lessening of milk as the baby dying (sorry to be morbid). Maybe I should have gone cold turkey!
.

I was warned in this thread that I'd feel crap while slowly stopping breastfeeding and I really really did. I was very low more so than teary. It only lasted a few days but it wasn't nice. I did my last feed yesterday and I'm feeling ok about it now. When I was at my lowest I thought I'd feel like the bond between me and my baby would suffer but it really hasn't. It's better actually because I'm not feeling so drained all the time.

Das Kitty

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

I was warned in this thread that I'd feel crap while slowly stopping breastfeeding and I really really did. I was very low more so than teary. It only lasted a few days but it wasn't nice. I did my last feed yesterday and I'm feeling ok about it now. When I was at my lowest I thought I'd feel like the bond between me and my baby would suffer but it really hasn't. It's better actually because I'm not feeling so drained all the time.

Good to know Murdy. I'm definitely very sad today. We're down to 2 feeds in 24 hours and it will probably be finished by Monday.

MurdyWurdy

lolademmers wrote: »

Having a bad day today. LO is only 8 days old. I feel so overwhelmed with the responsibility. He kept bringing back up all his feeds today I'm trying to continue with breast feeding but I'm giving him bottles too coz my nipples are cracked. I was convinced he was sick even though he is in great form otherwise. Really resented my OH too. He took a week off work to be at home but had yet to spend a full day with us. At 4 o clock today all I had to eat was a cup of tea and scone. Really thought he would look after me better. Sorry for the rant!!

You're only 8 days in, it's a really crap time to be honest. I was in a daze for the first few weeks - I hardly knew my own name. I just had my boobs out all the time feeding him and I was knackered. You think it's going to be this magical time and it is in some ways but it's so hard and overwhelming as well. Definitely tell your OH you need him more, even to feed you while you're stuck breastfeeding. Where is he going that's so important?

I go to a breastfeeding support group at my local health centre every week (which I really recommend btw!). It's funny to see the mums with very young babies (mine is 18 weeks now) because they always look so dazed and exhausted compared to the mums with slightly older babies. I've made a really good friend from going there and when I first met her I thought she was very quiet and a bit dull. She's actually really outgoing and fun - I just met her when her baby was 3 weeks old and she really wasn't herself!

MurdyWurdy

Das Kitty wrote: »

Good to know Murdy. I'm definitely very sad today. We're down to 2 feeds in 24 hours and it will probably be finished by Monday.

I was so sad too - I knew it was hormones though if that made sense and just let myself wallow a bit.

Congrats on breastfeeding for as long as you did. Even one day is an achievement

nikpmup

lolademmers wrote: »

Having a bad day today. LO is only 8 days old. I feel so overwhelmed with the responsibility. He kept bringing back up all his feeds today I'm trying to continue with breast feeding but I'm giving him bottles too coz my nipples are cracked. I was convinced he was sick even though he is in great form otherwise. Really resented my OH too. He took a week off work to be at home but had yet to spend a full day with us. At 4 o clock today all I had to eat was a cup of tea and scone. Really thought he would look after me better. Sorry for the rant!!

Overwhelmed with responsibility is exactly how I feel too. I'm generally a self confident, self assured individual and very little phases me, but I have never felt so unsure of myself, I have never doubted myself as much as I do now. My little fella is a legend during the day - feeds, burps, sleeps in 3 hour cycles. At night, however, he's a different creature, he's awake for hours on end, seems to be very windy and won't settle. At these times I'm convinced I'm doing everything wrong, that I have no natural mothering ability, that the poor fecker is after landing himself a gobsh1te of a parent. I worry about EVERYTHING - he occasionally gets sick after a feed - he must have some awful stomach complaint. He has jaundice and a mild case of sticky eye, must be my bad parenting, as is the fact that I failed at breastfeeding and couldn't even manage to keep him inside me for the full 40 weeks or deliver him normally. It's mental, if someone else told me they felt like this I would think they were off their head! I have mastitis now as well and my milk seems to be drying up - I haven't been able to pump as much as I should (today I had to go to the doc, then we had a round of visits; his mother is disabled so we have to go to her) by the time I got to pump I had feck all in each boob. All of this while everyone is telling me that it's a magical wonderful time.

nikpmup

It's 04.30 and I haven't yet been to sleep. H has just had his 6th feed since 9pm. He has wailed, puked, and shat in the intervening precious moments. I'm going mad, swiftly.

Rachineire

nikpmup wrote: »

It's 04.30 and I haven't yet been to sleep. H has just had his 6th feed since 9pm. He has wailed, puked, and shat in the intervening precious moments. I'm going mad, swiftly.

We have all had nights like that. I remember one night he was literally waking every twenty minutes on the dot.
It gets better trust me. This super hard really bad nights phase doesn't last long even though it can feel like its going on forever! And ignore people who say oh these are the most precious days of your life. That stressed me the hell out. I was concerned that there was something wrong with me why I couldn't enjoy this special time. BS its probably one of the hardest times of your life physically emotionally and mentally. Its perfectly ok not to be loving every minute and to be completely overwhelmed sometimes. It's human. Yes there are precious moments and lovely things but doesn't make it not hard as hell!

MurdyWurdy

nikpmup wrote: »

It's 04.30 and I haven't yet been to sleep. H has just had his 6th feed since 9pm. He has wailed, puked, and shat in the intervening precious moments. I'm going mad, swiftly.

Oh god, that sounds familiar. It's horrible is there any other family to help out? If I had bad nights like that I used to go to my mum's and sleep for an hour or two while she watched the baby. It can be hard with breastfeeding but I was usually so tired I didn't care if he had formula just so I could sleep. It saved me - it was just enough so that I could function.

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture in some countries. After having a baby I can see why!