No Sleep and No Coffee Makes Parents Something Something

Emmadilema123

Digs wrote: »

I would like 3 my husband is happier with 2. He's 37 and I'm 30 (currently pregnant on number two). It took us a year each time to get pregnant so I think he's worried he'll be in his 40's by the time 3 gets here whereas I don't have the same concerns.

I have my powers of persuasion

I was happy with 2 but husband wanted 3. He caught me at a weak (drunk) moment and now number 3 is about 17 weeks away from arriving :-)

Delighted he did though because I'm very excited! Can't wait to see her little face now!

Emmadilema123

iguana wrote: »

Any tips for dealing with "monsters?" S has taken to getting very frightened if he is woken up by strong winds at night and thinking it's monsters in the bed. I'm not sure where it comes from, I've made sure that any experience he has had of monsters have been funny rather than scary and in the daytime he loves singing monster mash and hugging any teddies he deems monsters but at night the wind terrifies him. He sleeps with me all the time, so it's not as if taking him into my bed for a cuddle will calm him down as that's all he knows at night but the wind noise is still scaring him. He'll calm down if I turn the light on but then it's 50/50 whether he'll go to sleep or decide it's playtime. We managed to have a decent night's sleep last night as there was no wind but the few nights before it were hellish and I can see that we're due more windy storms from Friday.

I've told my son that my husband monster proofed the house! He is a carpenter and he watched him build our extension so he didn't question daddy's ability to do that :-P

Diamond Doll

As regards having more kids, I guess I'm in a different position to the rest of you in that I'm a single mum (my son is two in January.) I always wanted 2-3 kids, and it's so sad to know that he'll never have a "real" sibling (sure, he may have half-siblings on either side, or even step-siblings, but it's hardly the same! He's so perfect, I want more just like him!)

I'm 30 and I'm really not convinced I'll ever find someone else who I'll love, and who loves me, and where we want to make babies together. I feel quite old and haggard and jaded ... like the best part of my life has passed me by and left me behind!

Meh. Sure who knows what might happen in the future, I guess.

Emmadilema123

Diamond Doll wrote: »

As regards having more kids, I guess I'm in a different position to the rest of you in that I'm a single mum (my son is two in January.) I always wanted 2-3 kids, and it's so sad to know that he'll never have a "real" sibling (sure, he may have half-siblings on either side, or even step-siblings, but it's hardly the same! He's so perfect, I want more just like him!)

I'm 30 and I'm really not convinced I'll ever find someone else who I'll love, and who loves me, and where we want to make babies together. I feel quite old and haggard and jaded ... like the best part of my life has passed me by and left me behind!

Meh. Sure who knows what might happen in the future, I guess.

That's a really tough situation! I cant imagine how that feels! I have some friends in that situation and they would share a lot of those feelings! Your son is still very young and needs a lot of you but as he gets older and needs less and less things might hopefully look different!

Makapakka

Diamond Doll wrote: »

As regards having more kids, I guess I'm in a different position to the rest of you in that I'm a single mum (my son is two in January.) I always wanted 2-3 kids, and it's so sad to know that he'll never have a "real" sibling (sure, he may have half-siblings on either side, or even step-siblings, but it's hardly the same! He's so perfect, I want more just like him!)

I'm 30 and I'm really not convinced I'll ever find someone else who I'll love, and who loves me, and where we want to make babies together. I feel quite old and haggard and jaded ... like the best part of my life has passed me by and left me behind!

Meh. Sure who knows what might happen in the future, I guess.

I know exactly how this feels

Sligo1

Diamond Doll wrote: »

As regards having more kids, I guess I'm in a different position to the rest of you in that I'm a single mum (my son is two in January.) I always wanted 2-3 kids, and it's so sad to know that he'll never have a "real" sibling (sure, he may have half-siblings on either side, or even step-siblings, but it's hardly the same! He's so perfect, I want more just like him!)

I'm 30 and I'm really not convinced I'll ever find someone else who I'll love, and who loves me, and where we want to make babies together. I feel quite old and haggard and jaded ... like the best part of my life has passed me by and left me behind!

Meh. Sure who knows what might happen in the future, I guess.

If it's any consolation a lot of my friends who were single parents have now met the men/women of their dreams and gone on to have other children with them. What's for you won't pass you. And if you do want to meet someone down the line (if and when or if you already are) over your ex partner then there's no reason why you shouldn't. And maybe that person will worship your little boy. Sure they won't be his biological parent and sure your little boy won't have full blood siblings... But after seeing my friends so happy with their families... I'm of the firm belief that love and support are worth so so so much more than the other stuff. I hope you're ok.

iguana

I'll try the monster spray tonight if we have problems. Was considering keeping a lightsaber by the bed and scaring off the monsters, but that would undoubtedly be too exciting and lead to a request to play.

RentDayBlues

Re the monsters, I told my 3 year old to laugh at them. She was really bad a couple of months ago, constant waking and nightmares. I explained that she could dream about anything she wanted, so to dream about chocolate and lollipops, and if the monster came back to just laugh at him and he would go away.

It took about 2 weeks but the waking subsided, she still has nightmares but tells us in the morning

Emmadilema123

RentDayBlues wrote: »

Re the monsters, I told my 3 year old to laugh at them. She was really bad a couple of months ago, constant waking and nightmares. I explained that she could dream about anything she wanted, so to dream about chocolate and lollipops, and if the monster came back to just laugh at him and he would go away.

It took about 2 weeks but the waking subsided, she still has nightmares but tells us in the morning

My son kept telling me he was having nightmares and he didn't want to go asleep! I told him it was because he wasn't asleep early enough and he had to be asleep when the sandman sprinkled his dust over the house or he would miss out on the good dreams lol two birds one stone! He asks every night now if the sandman has been yet :-P

fro9etb8j5qsl2

My OH keeps reminding me that we can have as many kids as I want, just to give him the order and he'll give me the ingredients :pac: I swing between pining for another one and wanting to hide from the 2 I already have

dori_dormer

I am totally done when this one arrives! Its not so much about the number of kids, my husband wants three, just being so ill during the pregnancy. I can barely carry my 22 month old up the stairs or i nearly pass out. I couldn't imagine being like this and having 2 of them running around!
Plus i think i had bad undiagnosed pnd last time to

Emmadilema123

dori_dormer wrote: »

I am totally done when this one arrives! Its not so much about the number of kids, my husband wants three, just being so ill during the pregnancy. I can barely carry my 22 month old up the stairs or i nearly pass out. I couldn't imagine being like this and having 2 of them running around!
Plus i think i had bad undiagnosed pnd last time to

I'm pretty much housebound with hyperemisis at the moment! I work and do school runs and that's it! Very tough time and hard to enjoy your pregnancy! Hope your taking as much time for yourself as possible. I wouldn't be surprised if pnd was actually being triggered prior to delivery with you being so sick!

nikpmup

Diamond Doll wrote: »

As regards having more kids, I guess I'm in a different position to the rest of you in that I'm a single mum (my son is two in January.) I always wanted 2-3 kids, and it's so sad to know that he'll never have a "real" sibling (sure, he may have half-siblings on either side, or even step-siblings, but it's hardly the same! He's so perfect, I want more just like him!)

I'm 30 and I'm really not convinced I'll ever find someone else who I'll love, and who loves me, and where we want to make babies together. I feel quite old and haggard and jaded ... like the best part of my life has passed me by and left me behind!

Meh. Sure who knows what might happen in the future, I guess.

I know it sounds cliched, but you really never know what is around the corner. At 34, I was widowed and childless. I turn 40 in Jan, and I have a wonderful son and partner. Life throws curveballs and good stuff all over the place. Being a single mum of a two year old will make you feel jaded, but he won't be 2 forever. I guarantee if you read this in 5 yrs you'll smile

Cunning Stunt

Guys I fell down the stairs last nite holding my 6 week old! I dont even know what way we fell, its all a blur but it was a proper fall, not just a slip of a few steps. Its an old house with a steep, narrow stairs- I hate that bloody stairs....I tried to protect her and it looks like my body took the brunt of it judging by the bruises but she didnt escape either. She had a bruise on the side of her head. I went to pieces when I saw it and I drove to hospital to get her checked. They say shes grand and we stayed the night just for observation and we were let go home earlier. As a born worrier i know this is going to haunt me! I feel very guilty. Have any of you hot any similar stories with happy endings?

RentDayBlues

Two of my friends did he exact same with very young babies, one was 2 weeks the other 4 weeks.

All were absolutely fine, both went to the gp to get checked but like you it was the mums who bore the brunt of the fall. I've slipped holding one of mine, not on the stairs, but I did manage to fall to save her.

Hope you're both feeling better, babies are so resilient. Just make sure you take it easy, the full effects won't be felt for a few days, so lots of rest and tlc

Sligo1

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

Guys I fell down the stairs last nite holding my 6 week old! I dont even know what way we fell, its all a blur but it was a proper fall, not just a slip of a few steps. Its an old house with a steep, narrow stairs- I hate that bloody stairs.... Looks like my body took the brunt of it judging by the bruises but she didnt escape either. She had a bruise on the side of her head. I went to pieces when I saw it and I drove to hospital to get her checked. They say shes grand and we stayed the night just for observation and we were let go home earlier. As a born worrier i know this is going to haunt me! I feel very guilty. Have any of you hot any similar stories with happy endings?

This is NOT your fault! So very easy to slip down stairs! I've done it a couple of times believe it or not with the kids. Not a proper fall. But I have slipped like half way down and kept hold of the child so I bore the brunt of it. Bum and back were in bits after.

I don't want to scare monger here but do want to say.... Stairs are bloody dangerous! And don't forget it may have been dark and ur probably tired with a young baby aswell! So mind yourself. I never ever ever only wear socks in the house anymore when I always use to as they are death traps on stairs. Always wear shoes or a good pair of slipper (with good soles). The gripper socks are crap so don't bother with them. Always hold on to the banister. As a healthcare professional I'm very very cautious about stairs and I know people who are friends of friends who have fallen and weren't so lucky and ended up in Beaumont or worse. And I've seen what can happen first hand.

This isn't your fault so please don't beat yourself up about it. You did the right thing after getting your baby checked so try and move on with the positive thought they she is fine. As I said, this has happened to me and since then I am so much more cautious. Tiredness definitely doesn't help. Rest up and look after those bruises.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

My little girl fell out of bed when she was a few weeks old I had been feeding her lying down and we both must have dozed off and she pushed herself against me and rolled backwards off the bed. Landed on her back and started screaming. Was fine after a few reassuring cuddles.

Same child toppled head first off her cot top changer when she was 9 months old. She was sitting upright and I actually had my hand on her thigh to hold her there but she leaned over, saw something interesting on the floor and did a head over feet kamikaze dive to get it :eek: Landed on her head :eek: Got her checked out and she was fine thank god I felt awful though Always worth getting it checked if you are worried. And don't be too hard on yourself over it, things like this happen to every parent.

Emmadilema123

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

Guys I fell down the stairs last nite holding my 6 week old! I dont even know what way we fell, its all a blur but it was a proper fall, not just a slip of a few steps. Its an old house with a steep, narrow stairs- I hate that bloody stairs....I tried to protect her and it looks like my body took the brunt of it judging by the bruises but she didnt escape either. She had a bruise on the side of her head. I went to pieces when I saw it and I drove to hospital to get her checked. They say shes grand and we stayed the night just for observation and we were let go home earlier. As a born worrier i know this is going to haunt me! I feel very guilty. Have any of you hot any similar stories with happy endings?

Omg you poor thing! I'd say you were out of your mind with worry!

When I was pregnant on my daughter my son was sitting beside me on the chair and fell over the arm! He started having a seizure and went into cardiac arrest! Its s miracle (and thanks to a very good gp) that he Is OK but I was absolutely crippled with guilt and totally traumatized. He was fine on the other hand! They are so much braver than is.

Accidents by their nature happen in a blink of an eye and If you were to try to prevent everything that could potentially go wrong you would literally have yo keep them in a bubble! Its not your fault! You are gonna beat yourself up for a while because that's what parents do but it isn't your fault! My doctor told me to resist the temptation to spoil him but I ignored her and absolutely ruined him and smothered him lol

Please be kind to yourself and try not to do the shudda cudda wudda thing

Makapakka

Can't even control my own toddler.. 12.30 at night n she's having a tantrum, telling me no, no doing what she says, screaming absolutely screaming, waking the whole house, my mam has to calm her down, just ignores me n does what nana says, feel like I'm losing control. When will this end? It's like having a teenager already.. She is as stubborn as a rock..

This is a regula thing and I don't know how to handle it. I want to walk away, and I sometimes do, but this makes her scream more because she doesn't Want to be left alone. I feel like The worst parent ever I'm afraid I'll leave her with abandonment issues when she's older.., I had them n still do n I want her to feel completely loved.. I don't know where to go from here..

bp

Makapakka wrote: »

Can't even control my own toddler.. 12.30 at night n she's having a tantrum, telling me no, no doing what she says, screaming absolutely screaming, waking the whole house, my mam has to calm her down, just ignores me n does what nana says, feel like I'm losing control. When will this end? It's like having a teenager already.. She is as stubborn as a rock..

This is a regula thing and I don't know how to handle it. I want to walk away, and I sometimes do, but this makes her scream more because she doesn't Want to be left alone. I feel like The worst parent ever I'm afraid I'll leave her with abandonment issues when she's older.., I had them n still do n I want her to feel completely loved.. I don't know where to go from here..

Firstly toddlers are testing

A few suggestions which may work:

1. An earlier bed time - not sure what your bed time is but try have them down before half seven. Hyper children at night are usually over tired. If moving bed time move by 5 minutes each night to slowly make it earlier
2. No tv/ screen time an hour before bed (told by a sleep consultant and the internet that tv wakes the brain)
3. A good healthy dinner - no sugar
4. Some one on one time reading, going for a quick walk outside : just mammy attention, so no phone etc (I am awful at putting the phone down) - especially if she doesn't like to be left alone
5. A schedule - kids work well with a schedule, they like to know what is happening next. Eg book, teeth, cuddle, bed
6. Alone time for mammy to relax...the more stressed you are the more stressed they will be. I sometimes park the car a few houses down when I am alone and just sit for 2-3 minutes and enjoy the silence!
7. Maybe a night light incase she is afraid of the dark

Anyway they would be what I try. We do the above and find our almost 3 year old is a lot better behaved, still the odd meltdown obviously but better

dori_dormer

Our boy didn't settle til 11 last night. We were going demented as we both wanted to be asleep by 10 as wed an exhausting weekend and broken sleep all week.

Turns out his pjs were itching him. He's non verbal so that was 3 hrs of trial and error trying to figure out exactly what wasn't right!

Also he had an explosive nappy this morning . Like his whole orange from breakfast yesterday came out in one go ewh! Wee and juice down his legs, came out the top of the nappy and everythign ( and we use cloth so it holds a lot more and is way more contained than disposables!)

Suffice to say my morning sickness kicked in and I puked at the smell of it!

I hope it's all out of his system now cos we've to go this afternoon to a St Nicholas party in his nursery and I'm wrecked!

Emmadilema123

Last night was the first night my daughter hasn't woke up vomitting since Tuesday and I got a full night sleep! Feel like super woman today!

Makka ...nobody can control their own toddler lol head strong little ones love to feel like they are in control or at least have a choice so I usually say do you want story or jigsaw before bed. OK which story do you want? Ok straight yo sleep after I read this story. Ok sleep time do you want night light on or off? And then I say ok night night go to sleep!

Emmadilema123

Emmadilema123 wrote: »

Last night was the first night my daughter hasn't woke up vomitting since Tuesday and I got a full night sleep! Feel like super woman today!

Makka ...nobody can control their own toddler lol head strong little ones love to feel like they are in control or at least have a choice so I usually say do you want story or jigsaw before bed. OK which story do you want? Ok straight yo sleep after I read this story. Ok sleep time do you want night light on or off? And then I say ok night night go to sleep!

Also only ever give two choices lol do yih want this book or that book etc

ChewChew

Our girl had a big nap late yesterday so was bright as a button today at 4am the little messer I'm tired now though!!

Cunning Stunt

Thanks all for the reassurance after our fall. There is not a bother on her, thk god. I got the first smiles off her this morning - so cute! Daddy will be jealous! Think I can relax now!

Makapakka

Argh I need to rant. It's so hard being the only friend with a child coupled with being a single mother. Toddler is throwing a lot of tantrums, my mum thankfully is on hand to help out, but my friends just don't understand. I don't expect them to fully understand but to sympathise. Saying "ah she'll grow out of it" isn't flipping helpful right this second. Yes she'll grow out of it but right no she's screaming and kicking and calling for nana and won't let me soothe her and I'm feeling helpless and alone and I don't need to hear "ah she'll grow out of it ".

And oh the insults from her father put the cherry on the cake.

/rant

Diamond Doll

Makapakka wrote: »

Argh I need to rant. It's so hard being the only friend with a child coupled with being a single mother. Toddler is throwing a lot of tantrums, my mum thankfully is on hand to help out, but my friends just don't understand. I don't expect them to fully understand but to sympathise. Saying "ah she'll grow out of it" isn't flipping helpful right this second. Yes she'll grow out of it but right no she's screaming and kicking and calling for nana and won't let me soothe her and I'm feeling helpless and alone and I don't need to hear "ah she'll grow out of it ".

And oh the insults from her father put the cherry on the cake.

/rant

I empathise a lot, I'm also a single mum and my son's dad hates me! I have some friends engaged, some friends married, some friends pregnant and/or with kids etc, but they're all doing it the "right way around" unlike me.

Makapakka

Diamond Doll wrote: »

I empathise a lot, I'm also a single mum and my son's dad hates me! I have some friends engaged, some friends married, some friends pregnant and/or with kids etc, but they're all doing it the "right way around" unlike me.

Yeah "the right way around"..

Only one of my friends is engaged but there are no children, and won't be for a while. I feel the "ah she'll grow out of it" is just to brush it off, they don't really care..

bp

Before having kids we all "think" we know how to raise them...Yeah right! No kid comes with a manual or book.

In relation to the tantrums I saw once (and believe because it gives me hope) that they tantrum around those they love most as it is the only place they feel safe to let lose.

Ignore the daddy, he is just trying to get to you (sorry easier said than done), if he insults you hang up or walk away and take note for future court dates. Have a phone number only for him and turn it on only when he is due access.

The tantrums my little one does it too - I want daddy if with me and I want mammy if with him or whomever isn't around. I have stood on the sides of roads while a melt down occurs as they wanted to sit in the middle of traffic. F*ck what people walking past think of my screaming child, every parent had been there.

If just being a toddler I ignore, but sometimes I offer food or water and that seems to help. I used to offer tv but that stopped as it only made them realised tv = screaming.

Last week I was trying to shop for food online '(supermarket with two, no thank you) and in my ear the entire time: mammy, mammy, mammy or trying to press the buttons etc. I gave up!

Anyway you are a great parent and doing your best. You obviously love your child but it is hard work and someone else always "seems" to be in control....chances are they aren't.

I have friends who "did it the right way" as you put it, married to a tosser who gives no support at all, just moans and does nothing - a big temper tantruming 30 year old. There is no "right way", behind closed doors family dynamics change completely.

Anyway sorry for the long post and lack of real advice but just wanted to show support

fro9etb8j5qsl2

People who don't have kids haven't a notion, and I don't mean that in a bad way, they simply don't understand what it's like. I was one of them. Before I had kids, I was a big clueless judgey pants. I was going to do everything the right way and it was going to be easy. My baby would be a great eater and sleeper and I would instinctively know what was wrong when he cried etc. Sure how hard could it be. This attitude lasted until he was about an hour old and I realised that I actually didn't have a baldy notion what I was doing and I've been winging it since :pac: