The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

Peregrinus · 02-09-2015 2:25am

Worztron wrote: »

It's sad that you chose to come to this thread in order to get all butthurt and resort to name calling.

Prepared it? I only uploaded it. You should get your facts right instead of surmising as your type do.

My type? I think you're projecting your insecurities here, Worztron. It is you who are surmising; you surmise that my reference to "the half-wit who prepared it" is a reference to you. It is not. It is exactly what is says on the tin; a reference to the person who prepared the poster.

Worztron wrote: »

Stop believing in ancient silly books - perhaps you need help in telling the difference between fiction and fact.

Your comment is bizarre.

BTW, come back tomorrow and you can get bent out of shape all over again.

Go back to your humorless daft threads where you worship your imaginary friends

None of this relates to anything I said. You're unwilling or unable to engage with or refute the points I make, or mount any coherent defence of the post you made, so you just bash me on the grounds that I'm a a religious believer. Seems a bit ad hominem.

Still, if it's the best defence you can make of your taste in motivational posters, have at it.

Peregrinus · 02-09-2015 2:29am

Cabaal wrote: »

Yeah, it's crazy to think people might read something in the Bible or a religious text and then decide to take it literally! Nobody would ever do that!

Well, Worztron won't, apparently. He'll treat all narrations as imperative commandments.

I hope to God he never reads any "true crime" stories!

Absolam · 02-09-2015 2:32am

robindch wrote: »

To some religious people, unfortunately it is - hence the image. Skinner's paper on superstitious thinking in pigeons is perhaps relevant here: http://psychclassics.yorku.ca/Skinner/Pigeon/

Surely the paper demonstrates the phenomenon of assuming correlation may be causation is not exclusive to religious people, or even to people?

Though it still seems a little wide of the notion that because someone said something happened, someone else should think it ought to be repeated.... never mind that the presentation of the notion is supposed to be funny.

Maybe we should just agree it was a pretty rubbish joke and move on to the next one.

robindch · 02-09-2015 9:51am

Mod:

Worztron wrote: »

Go back to your humorless daft threads where you worship your imaginary friends.

Peregrinus wrote: »

My type? I think you're projecting your insecurities here, Worztron.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls -

This is the funny thread. Let's keep it that way.

Thanks

robindch · 02-09-2015 10:04am

Ever tried an Allah-egg with your Jesus toast? Well, now you can.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3218286/It-s-message-calling-world-peace-say-couple-ALLAH-embossed-egg-local-Iceland.html

Daily Faily wrote:

A Muslim couple claim they were ‘blessed by a miracle’ after buying an egg from Iceland with the name of Allah embossed on the shell. Anisa Jussab, 36, bought a £1 pack of eggs from her local supermarket in Leicester and was about to bake a cake for her husband Farid, 37, when she noticed bumps on one of the shells. And upon taking a closer look Mrs Jussab discovered the phrase ‘None to be worshipped except Allah’ in Arabic script - leading her to believe that it was a blessing.

She said: ‘We have been blessed by a miracle. It’s not something anyone has carved on the egg. These things appear and I’ve heard about this sort of thing in the roots of trees and in the sky. ‘It is a sign and I think it’s a message to all Muslims to forgive and to have a clean heart. It is a miracle and a blessing.’ Mr Jussab's wife purchased the pack of ten Class A large fresh eggs from Iceland last Thursday so that she could bake a cake for him at the weekend.

He added: ‘When she took the egg out she felt the marks with her hand and then looked and saw our God’s name on it, as well as other writing all the way around. ‘I was sleeping and she came running upstairs to wake me. The sun was shining and I could see it perfectly. All the hairs on my arms stood up. We were both so shocked and surprised.’ He went to the Masjid Ul Imam Al Bukhari mosque in Leicester about the discovery, where the imam advised him to let the contents of the egg out to stop it becoming rotten.

Mr Jussab said: ‘He said I must make a hole and get the egg out and then eat the egg with my wife. Then I shall put the shell in a glass container where anyone can come and see it. ‘I am going to keep the egg forever now. I’m not the sort of man who prays five times a day so this is amazing.’ Meanwhile his friend Aslam Makda, 37, said: ‘It’s clearly Arabic and it says God’s name. It’s impossible that it could be a human engraving.

This sort of message has been seen before on fish, aubergines and watermelons

In March 2011, Asim Taj, 24, spotted the word Allah on an egg after buying it in a box from a local shop in Nottingham - prompting some visitors to travel almost 100 miles to see it. And in July 2006, a chicken in the village of Stepnoi in eastern Kazakhstan laid an egg with the word ‘Allah’ inscribed on its shell, just after a powerful hail storm had apparently hit the area. An Iceland spokesman did not immediately return a request for comment from MailOnline today.

kylith · 02-09-2015 10:19am

robindch wrote: »

Ever tried an Allah-egg with your Jesus toast? Well, now you can.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3218286/It-s-message-calling-world-peace-say-couple-ALLAH-embossed-egg-local-Iceland.html

Mmmm. Sacrelicious.

Worztron · 02-09-2015 1:24pm

robindch · 02-09-2015 6:48pm

Turtwig · 02-09-2015 7:21pm

Waterford whispers news published an article today entitled

Still No Sign Of Beheading Infidels And Raping Girls Bit In World’s Oldest Koran

Reading the article made me a little bit curious as the quote that was taken

the taking of one innocent life is like taking all of Mankind… and the saving of one life is like saving all of Mankind

is a standard apologist line used. Something, which in all my experience of reading WWN that I've not yet come across on their articles. This apologist line in question is one that's interpretation is heavily disputed, often argued by many as it is comes in an passage of the Qu'ran that, at least on the face of it, appears rather negative. To make things more interesting WWN cited the source as 5:33
which actually states

Indeed, the penalty for those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger and strive upon earth [to cause] corruption is none but that they be killed or crucified or that their hands and feet be cut off from opposite sides or that they be exiled from the land. That is for them a disgrace in this world; and for them in the Hereafter is a great punishment,

but they printed a paraphrase of the previous passage 5:32. A paraphrase which as already stated critics of Islam would say was a rather generous one. The more I think about this the more I wonder if this was entirely intentional?

While on the one hand the article is outwardly saying the Qu'ran provides no support for the likes of ISIS, on the other, it is actually referencing the more perceivably violent passages in it directly. It might just be a numerical slip. Maybe the 33 was meant to be a 32. In any case, I find it quite amusing to think they'd have written an article about such a highly politicised sensitive topic this way. One where some audiences will read it as "Quran book of peace" spiel without actually digging a little deeper. The ironing if intentional is absolutely delicious and well worthy of a post here.

Turtwig · 02-09-2015 7:59pm

Mod: wortzon, take a breather from the computer. We don't want those kinds of posts in this thread. Or any thread for that matter.

Worztron · 02-09-2015 8:00pm

Turtwig wrote: »

Mod: wortzon, take a breather from the computer. We don't want those kinds of posts in this thread. Or any thread for that matter.

Nothing in my posts was worse than what Peregrinus said about me.

Worztron · 03-09-2015 8:40am

Worztron · 03-09-2015 9:34am

Worztron · 04-09-2015 9:00am

robindch · 04-09-2015 10:58am

Stop the presses! Pope Frank drops out to get his glasses fixed!

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/religion-and-beliefs/holy-show-pope-francis-draws-crowd-as-he-shops-for-glasses-1.2340233

robindch · 04-09-2015 3:19pm

Worztron · 05-09-2015 9:19am

AstraMonti · 05-09-2015 9:42am

This is gold lol

10481754_934207709973149_295040109448940708_n.jpg?oh=06179a6f3914fc4fc2dd9109e1ce8ac6&oe=567D8385

robindch · 05-09-2015 10:27am

By twitteratus, James F Trumm, read for you here from 4:40.

(The saga of Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who refuses to issue marriage licenses because God told her not to, is worthy of an opera. Or at least an operetta. So with apologies to W.S. Gilbert, here is my stab at composing a patter song for her character.)

I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist
I’m not merely judgmental, I’m the absolute judgmentalest!
I always follow scripture and I act on God’s authority
But marital longevity was never my priority.

I married first one husband, then two others, then another one
Because I think one man is pretty much like any other one.
I’ve never been too troubled by the dubious legalities
Of sex outside of marriage or of other trivialities.

But when it comes to icky stuff like homosexuality
I’m always very strident with my Puritan morality.
In short in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist,
I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist!

In questions of behavior I fall back on my Old Testament
(Though saying no to shrimp is way too much of an impediment).
I pick and choose the verses that support my little weltanschauung
And pledge never to change my mind from now til götterdämmerung.

I’ll ride this hobby horse until I’m richer than a sybarite,
There’ll always be good money in denouncing godless sodomites.
I’ll put my name as author on some books that I can barely read
And get a show on cable to inform the world what God decreed.

My husbands all agree that I know more about what marriage is
Than five Supreme Court justices whose law my faith disparages.
In short in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist,
I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist!

In fact, when I see what is meant by constitutionality
When I can do my job with requisite impartiality,
When I can join in marriage two young men who might be thespians,
Or issue nuptial licenses to enterprising lesbians,

When I can see that love is love no matter what the sexes are
And understand that gays are just like me and my three exes are,
In short, when I have finally got a dose of moral clarity
I’ll find out what is meant by the idea of Christian charity.

Til then I’ll flout the law and draw my wages from the county tax
Which is what God would do if only He was up on all the facts
Til then in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist,
I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist!

Hotblack Desiato · 05-09-2015 7:13pm

^ Excellent stuff Rob!

robindch wrote: »

Stop the presses! Pope Frank drops out to get his glasses fixed!

Couldn't he just have prayed for better eyesight? If prayer not granted, then blurry eyesight is part of god's plan and getting glasses is contrary to god's will.