The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

sbsquarepants

I was at a wedding a while back and went to use the loo in the church after the ceremony, and there outside the jacks stacked up like in a pub cellar was about 6 or 7 little kegs of holly water!
Who knew you could get holly water by the keg?

lawred2

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I was at a wedding a while back and went to use the loo in the church after the ceremony, and there outside the jacks stacked up like in a pub cellar was about 6 or 7 little kegs of holly water!
Who knew you could get holly water by the keg?

sure you could get a priest to bless a lake if you like..

AstraMonti

sbsquarepants wrote: »

If you dilute holy water, does it get less holy?

It seems to apply only for the Orthodox kind! ( I was just happen to read that a couple of hours ago and laughing at the sh1t they make up all the time)

Google translate page

magicbastarder

so in all probability, the oceans of the world are holy. last time i take a piss in the sea.

LeinsterDub

AstraMonti wrote: »

You win a liter of holy water. tell me the address to send it

It's a bit warm today. Can I have holy ice instead?

magicbastarder

that raises a question. at what point does holiness lose its structural integrity? do we have to go to steam or even plasma for that?

LeinsterDub

magicbastarder wrote: »

that raises a question. at what point does holiness lose its structural integrity? do we have to go to steam or even plasma for that?

Does heavy water count too?

Hotblack Desiato

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I was at a wedding a while back and went to use the loo in the church after the ceremony

Churches have toilets now?

AstraMonti

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Churches have toilets now?

Where do you think "Holy ****" go?

oscarBravo

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I was at a wedding a while back and went to use the loo in the church after the ceremony, and there outside the jacks stacked up like in a pub cellar was about 6 or 7 little kegs of holly water!
Who knew you could get holly water by the keg?

It's literally on tap in Knock.

Skrynesaver

https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/comments/2xuoga/what_if_a_catholic_priest_were_to_just_bless_the/

Interesting questions about the effective bless range of various clerics

Hotblack Desiato

Skrynesaver wrote: »

https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/comments/2xuoga/what_if_a_catholic_priest_were_to_just_bless_the/

Interesting questions about the effective bless range of various clerics

Could apply that to blessing the road too. In theory one blessing of sufficient power would cover the entire road network of the island.

Timberrrrrrrr

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Could apply that to blessing the road too. In theory one blessing of sufficient power would cover the entire road network of the island.

Always makes me cringe when I see the pictures in the papers of them doing that.

PopePalpatine

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Could apply that to blessing the road too. In theory one blessing of sufficient power would cover the entire road network of the island.

What class of relic would they need for that? :pac:

looksee

PopePalpatine wrote: »

What class of relic would they need for that? :pac:

A Ford Prefect maybe?

Cabaal

magicbastarder wrote: »

that raises a question. at what point does holiness lose its structural integrity? do we have to go to steam or even plasma for that?

Perhaps a question for the christian forum?
Can there be such a thing as holy ice or holy steam?

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

Timberrrrrrrr

Cabaal wrote: »

Perhaps a question for the christian forum?
Can there be such a thing as holy ice or holy steam?

Well if the big fella can be father/son/holy ghost and can impregnate himself into Mary so he can be born and then die to sit at his own right hand side then I reckon holy water/ice/steam would be a piece of piss for him

looksee

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Own-Holy-Water

I especially like the pagan holy water.

recedite

Some holy steam must evaporate, therefore the air we breathe must be holy.
That must be why the earth's atmosphere makes a kind of halo effect when seen from outer space (which is god's view of it)
It all makes sense now dude, it must be all true!

Worztron

Pawwed Rig

If I only drink holy water is my wee still holy and if not at what point is the holiness gone and more importantly where does it go?

Cabaal

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

If I only drink holy water is my wee still holy and if not at what point is the holiness gone and more importantly where does it go?

Your body is about 60% water (adult male) so if you drink nothing but holy water and food with only holy water in it you can only ever be 60% holy.

If you pee holy water then whatever that goes into would be holy I'd imagine, so I guess our rivers, lakes etc are holy? But then do sewage treatment plants stop it being holy?

Of course what if your body takes the holy out of the water, after all pee is waste from the body and surely the holyness can't be waste?

Cabaal

Extreme baptism!

https://media.giphy.com/media/26uf0usPufixhYSl2/giphy.gif

Peregrinus

That's how Michael Phelps got his start in life.

sbsquarepants

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Churches have toilets now?

This one did anyway - but then it also had kegs, there's a symbiotic thing going on there in my experience:D
I don't spend a lot of time in them, would toilets be unusual?
Surely anywhere you have crowds gathering, you'd need toilets, no?

Worztron

d22ontour

Orion

Cabaal wrote: »

Perhaps a question for the christian forum?
Can there be such a thing as holy ice or holy steam?

Possibly the steam that rises in the church's toilet :pac:

AstraMonti