The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

Delirium

Obliq

Reminds me of the bumper sticker I saw on a young lad's souped up honda around here the other day. Jesus is my airbag. Felt like throttling him :mad:

Bannasidhe

Obliq wrote: »

Reminds me of the bumper sticker I saw on a young lad's souped up honda around here the other day. Jesus is my airbag. Felt like throttling him :mad:

He is going to get an awful shock if he ever needs an actual airbag.

smacl

Bannasidhe wrote: »

He is going to get an awful shock if he ever needs an actual airbag.

At which point he'll meet his maker one way or the other.

robindch

Obliq wrote: »

Jesus is my airbag

Years back, I was driving Popette and some other relatives for a beer into Ballydehob from the deeper countryside. As I drove around one of the narrow corners near the town, another car appeared out of nowhere, driving far too fast and whizzed by inches from disaster:

Granddad (80% blind): Was that a car that just passed us, Robin?
Robindch: Yep.
Granddad: Didn't see him coming. I'd have hit it.
Robindch: That's why I'm driving granddad, and not you.
Popette (in the back): That was far too close! You're going much too fast! Slow down! You're dangerous!
Robindch: Nope. I'm fine. It was the other guy who was driving too fast. And anyway, weren't you the one who crashed on this corner years ago when you said you didn't need insurance because you were insured by god?
Popette: (...theological excuse deleted...) Anyway, do you have airbags in the front?
Robindch: No, but god knows, there's one in the back

(loud laughter from everybody in the car except Popette)

Genghiz Cohen

robindch wrote: »

Robindch: No, but god knows, there's one in the back

wp_rathead

robindch wrote: »

Robindch: No, but god knows, there's one in the back

Hotblack Desiato

Brian Shanahan wrote: »

You do realise that National Report is a satirical site along the lines of the Onion, just more believably done (most of the time)?

That's why I posted it in Funnies.
Hoped somebody would bite anyway

Worztron

Genghiz Cohen

Not quite religion related in itself but it seems that Complex Specified Functional Information is in the eye of the beholder.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runamo

Turtwig

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

Not quite religion related in itself but it seems that Complex Specified Functional Information is in the eye of the ALMIGHTY beholder. :eek::D:):):):)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runamo

Fixed that for you.

Obliq

Prettier. I approve.

Sulla Felix

Turtwig

Can you imagine the outrage that pic would cause if it was a certain other holy book? :eek:

Sulla Felix

Jernal wrote: »

Can you imagine the outrage that pic would cause if it was a certain other holy book? :eek:

I'll see if I can interest my little miss, but tbh I'll probably have to drown it in gravy before she'd even give it a sniff. Not much of a reader.

Turtwig

Gbear

I just found a lovely little book online called "The Illustrated Book of Bad Arguments"

Here's my favourite so far:

Turtwig

I like those illustrations but this is all I'll ever need :

Worztron

AstraMonti

Bannasidhe

Worztron wrote: »

Don't think specsavers can deal with extreme colour blindness :P

seamus

Jernal wrote: »

Can you imagine the outrage that pic would cause if it was a certain other holy book? :eek:

Muslims don't like dogs and even they did, surely the dog would have been put to death for desecrating the holy book.

Cos you know, it's not like they can just get another copy of it....or....eh....you know books don't just grow on tree.......no, hang on, I'll come back with something.

Bannasidhe

seamus wrote: »

Muslims don't like dogs and even they did, surely the dog would have been put to death for desecrating the holy book.

Cos you know, it's not like they can just get another copy of it....or....eh....you know books don't just grow on tree.......no, hang on, I'll come back with something.

ummmm....I know a lot of Muslims who love dogs and do amazing work in animal rescue....

Kivaro

curtins

AstraMonti wrote: »

That has me in fits!

recedite

Jernal wrote: »

Can you imagine the outrage that pic would cause if it was a certain other holy book? :eek:

seamus wrote: »

Muslims don't like dogs ....

Its dog saliva they can't stand. If it touches them, they have to go through a ritual purification routine to cleanse themselves. So its a major inconvenience.

A useful factoid to remember if you ever want to dispose of a Koran, whilst causing maximum outrage, but you can't find a lighter, and there is a bored dog lying on the ground nearby.....

seamus

Bannasidhe wrote: »

ummmm....I know a lot of Muslims who love dogs and do amazing work in animal rescue....

recedite wrote: »

Its dog saliva they can't stand. If it touches them, they have to go through a ritual purification routine to cleanse themselves. So its a major inconvenience.

Must be ignorance then on my part, I was under the impression that dogs were "banned" in Islam because they're "unclean" or other similar nonsense.
Though I'm curious as to how a muslim works in an animal rescue - maybe they've just incorporated the ritual cleansing into their post-work routine?

It would explain why when my dog sniffed and then licked a kid's basketball net out on the street, I heard one kid say, "Oh no, he licked it! My Dad's gonna be so mad!".

Bannasidhe

seamus wrote: »

Must be ignorance then on my part, I was under the impression that dogs were "banned" in Islam because they're "unclean" or other similar nonsense.
Though I'm curious as to how a muslim works in an animal rescue - maybe they've just incorporated the ritual cleansing into their post-work routine?

It would explain why when my dog sniffed and then licked a kid's basketball net out on the street, I heard one kid say, "Oh no, he licked it! My Dad's gonna be so mad!".

You know how Christians follow every single 'rule' in the Bible and Roman Catholics absolutely do as told by the Vatican...oh...most of them don't.... Lots of Muslims are just as á la carte. Jews too.

I have an allergy to blanket statements about large and diverse groups of people.

recedite

Bannasidhe wrote: »

I have an allergy to blanket statements about large and diverse groups of people.

Fair enough, but a muslim is by definition one who follows the path of Islam, and a Roman Catholic by definition accepts papal authority from Rome.

seamus

Bannasidhe wrote: »

You know how Christians follow every single 'rule' in the Bible and Roman Catholics absolutely do as told by the Vatican...oh...most of them don't.... Lots of Muslims are just as á la carte. Jews too.

I have an allergy to blanket statements about large and diverse groups of people.

Ah, you see, when I talk about a group in general, I'm talking about people who are actually part of that club, i.e. who meet the criteria, not people who self-determine that they're members even though they don't actually fit the criteria. So I don't recognise "jewish" atheists, travellers who live in houses, muslims who eat pork, etc, as belonging to their respective claimed clubs. If they have the right to rule themselves in on a private level, I have the right to rule them out on a private level.

Pig-headedness, perhaps, but if anyone can claim to be a member of any religion despite their own personal beliefs then I can hardly be vilified for being "too general" when making a claim about that religion. Otherwise what you're saying is that all religions are immune to criticism lest you inadvertently offend someone who claims to be a member but doesn't subscribe to the doctrine that you're criticising.

Anyway, this is meant to be a funny thread and I have nothing funny to contribute. Though perhaps my opinion is laughable.