The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

sbsquarepants

There could be one of those somewhere I suppose, I got distracted.
Lets face it that god damn story book has more holes than the average string vest.

robindch

So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, who's going to Knock this year?

http://www.thejournal.ie/knock-novena-pilgrimage-2014-1617561-Aug2014/

Vivisectus

Not me. I have season tickets for the holy stone of Clonrichert. Comparable miracles-per-euro-spent results with no queues.

Worztron

Lucena

Vivisectus wrote: »

Not me. I have season tickets for the holy stone of Clonrichert. Comparable miracles-per-euro-spent results with no queues.

Especially now that it's been upgraded to a class two relic!

Incidentally, there is actually a 'real' class system for relics:

http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu86.htm

Lucifer MorningStar

smacl

Lucifer MorningStar wrote: »

Do you think he's a bit pissed with God for giving him such tiny genitalia?

Worztron

irish_goat

Worztron wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkZ4Ui8izKk

wonderfulname

Lucena wrote: »

Especially now that it's been upgraded to a class two relic!

Incidentally, there is actually a 'real' class system for relics:

http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu86.htm

The 3rd Class Relic consists of something that has been touched to a 1st or 2nd Class Relic. Anyone can make their own 3rd Class relics by touching an object to a 1st or 2nd Class Relic

Oh the possibilities...

CramCycle

This must be done only if the good that comes from buying the relic outweighs other uses the money spent could be used for.

So in their own words, never,

Worztron

robindch

Brave Cardinal Brady Hands In Resignation 40 Years Too Late

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/08/15/brave-cardinal-brady-hands-in-resignation-40-years-too-late/

Waterford Whispers wrote:

MANY Catholics have praised Cardinal Brady, the Catholic Primate of All Ireland, following his decision to resign from his position a full 40 years too late. It is thought the Catholic Church has been weakened by the resignation of a Cardinal who had direct knowledge relating to the rape and abuse of children by paedophile Fr. Bredan Smyth, but choose not to alert the Gardaí or any state authority.

“How can the church retain any credibility if it lets one of its finest leaders retire. Surely a big party is the least they can do,” said religious affairs expert Hugh McLeod. Brady has been praised for handing in his resignation at the age of 75, as is dictated by Canon Law, giving Catholics an indication that the Vatican has really stepped their duties to the young and vulnerable victims of sexual assaults.

“I think it’s great and very brave of the Cardinal to admit he may have done right. That is clear in his decision to hand in a compulsory resignation at the age of 75, nearly a full 40 years after he did little to help victims, it’s a pity he couldn’t stay on longer,” shared Catholic Church fan Dermot O’Hanlon. “And fair play to the Pope for excepting it, if only there was some sort of Canon Law or even general law that stated it was wrong to protect paedophile priests, they could have perhaps acted quicker to help Brady resign,” added O’Hanlon.

Cardinal Brady had extolled the virtues of forgiveness and chastised the Irish public in recent years for their desire to unfairly judge, stating they lacked ‘mercy’. It is thought Brady was referring to the Irish public’s lack of mercy toward priests who had effectively shielded paedophile priests from discovery, but not of lacking mercy for the victims of sexual abuse. “I presumed he’ll getting some reward, a lovely plaque maybe,” shared lifelong Catholic Eamon Hickey, “you can’t let his services to silence go unrewarded. If the Pope has his act together, he might throw him an old bit of body of Christ. A lovely Chilean vintage or something”.

Many Catholics who have continued to defend the Church and Cardinal Brady have been asked to get ‘it was a different time’ tattooed across their faces as a tribute to the brave Brady, who has done so much for the sexual abuse victims in Ireland.

Turtwig

Science+cute dog+religious joke = win.

smacl

smacl wrote: »

Do you think he's a bit pissed with God for giving him such tiny genitalia?

I thought they were pretty huge.

Worztron

Kivaro

Worztron

Worztron

Worztron

Links234

Worztron

catbear

Worztron wrote: »

Wasn't the whole point of the fable obedience? They were told not to eat from the tree because skydaddy told them not to but they did anyway out of curiosity. They didn't know there'd be consequences to their action so they weren't equiped to tell right from wrong. They acted unknowingly.

kylith

catbear wrote: »

Wasn't the whole point of the fable obedience? They were told not to eat from the tree because skydaddy told them not to but they did anyway out of curiosity. They didn't know there'd be consequences to their action so they weren't equiped to tell right from wrong. They acted unknowingly.

Which is the point; they, and by extension us, were punished severely for doing something that they could not possibly have known was wrong. God punished them for something that was his own fault.

Worztron

Cabaal

Lucena

THEIR!!!! :eek:

The googles do nothing!

shruikan2553

wonderfulname wrote: »

The 3rd Class Relic consists of something that has been touched to a 1st or 2nd Class Relic. Anyone can make their own 3rd Class relics by touching an object to a 1st or 2nd Class Relic

Oh the possibilities...

Please tell me Im not the only man who thought of making his penis a 3rd class relic? Despite the weirdness of rubbing it on holy objects being able to tell a woman she'll think its a first class relic when Im done with her is worth it.

redfacedbear

From 1992 but still sadly relevant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6PCryfeKKI

Brian Shanahan

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Please tell me Im not the only man who thought of making his penis a 3rd class relic? Despite the weirdness of rubbing it on holy objects being able to tell a woman she'll think its a first class relic when Im done with her is worth it.

I wouldn't be suprised if a priest somewhere has already thought up of and put into motion said plan.