The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

recedite

It being heaven, the chickens will have to forgive you, so there'll be no hard feelings. Maybe a few awkward glances though, if you find yourself in the same harp classes as them.

Shrap

recedite wrote: »

It being heaven, the chickens will have to forgive you, so there'll be no hard feelings. Maybe a few awkward glances though, if you find yourself in the same harp classes as them.

Ah now, here! HARPS??! I'll be first in the queue for t'other place so.

Worztron

Turtwig

On the threat of being burned alive I'd believe in God.

Anything for a quicker death.

JaseBelleVie

Turtwig wrote: »

On the threat of being burned alive I'd believe in God.

Anything for a quicker death.

Some relatively important and popular people who were burned at the stake were permitted to have a bag of gunpowder hung around their neck and tied around their waist. This would speed up the otherwise gruesome burning death.

Unfortunately for the ordinary Joe Soap who was sentenced to burn, no gunpowder and a much longer death.

I still remember the gory facts from secondary school history lessons!

GLaDOS

robindch

If you'd like to see the rest of an interview which contains the following quote:

wrote:

Pastor Manning, you said that Starbucks was putting "Semen of the Sodomites" into their coffee. But here's the interesting part, because it "flavours up the coffee and make you think you're having a good time". Which makes me wonder, do you equate drinking semen with "a good time"?

...then here's the video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEzb2WsVYgo

obplayer

robindch wrote: »

If you'd like to see the rest of an interview which contains the following quote:...then here's the video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEzb2WsVYgo

Sounds like a very messed up man, at least in part by the American prison system. If it was not for the harm he can do I really would feel sorry for him.
The man really needs professional help.

Hotblack Desiato

Well, if you're jizzin' in the coffee at least you're not eatin' de poo poo.

Worztron

Worztron

robindch

6 Filthy Jokes You Won't Believe Are from the Bible

http://www.cracked.com/article_20694_6-filthy-jokes-you-wont-believe-are-from-bible.html

Worztron

Shrap

robindch wrote: »

6 Filthy Jokes You Won't Believe Are from the Bible

http://www.cracked.com/article_20694_6-filthy-jokes-you-wont-believe-are-from-bible.html

I definitely believe they're from the bible. Unfunny, and need some serious re-interpretation in order to make any modern sense at all. :rolleyes:

robindch

Iceland to build first temple to Norse gods since Viking age

A word to the wise though - pick a better name than "Ásatrúarfélagið" :eek:

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/feb/02/iceland-temple-norse-gods-1000-years

The Guardian wrote:

Icelanders will soon be able to publicly worship at a shrine to Thor, Odin and Frigg with construction starting this month on the island’s first major temple to the Norse gods since the Viking age.

Worship of the gods in Scandinavia gave way to Christianity around 1,000 years ago but a modern version of Norse paganism has been gaining popularity in Iceland. “I don’t believe anyone believes in a one-eyed man who is riding about on a horse with eight feet,” said Hilmar Örn Hilmarsson, high priest of Ásatrúarfélagið, an association that promotes faith in the Norse gods.

“We see the stories as poetic metaphors and a manifestation of the forces of nature and human psychology.” Membership in Ásatrúarfélagið has tripled in Iceland in the last decade to 2,400 members last year, out of a total population of 330,000, data from Statistics Iceland showed. The temple will be circular and will be dug 4 metres (13ft) down into a hill overlooking the Icelandic capital Reykjavik, with a dome on top to let in the sunlight.

“The sun changes with the seasons so we are in a way having the sun paint the space for us,” Hilmarsson said. The temple will host ceremonies such as weddings and funerals. The group will also confer names to children and initiate teenagers, similar to other religious communities.

Iceland’s neo-pagans still celebrate the ancient sacrificial ritual of Blot with music, reading, eating and drinking, but nowadays leave out the slaughter of animals.

pauldla

Nowadays leave out the slaughter of animals? I wonder how the Norse gods feel about that.

"Ásatrúarfélagið" (thank you, copypaste) is what I want to shout when speeding into the heart of a supernova at nearly the speed of light while engaged in unspeakable sex acts with a four headed space goat.

Mr. CooL ICE

I'm gonna pronounce Ásatrúarfélagið like "astral fellatio"

smacl

pauldla wrote: »

"Ásatrúarfélagið" (thank you, copypaste) is what I want to shout when speeding into the heart of a supernova at nearly the speed of light while engaged in unspeakable sex acts with a four headed space goat.

I'll have whatever he's drinking, barman.

8mv

JaseBelleVie wrote: »

Some relatively important and popular people who were burned at the stake were permitted to have a bag of gunpowder hung around their neck and tied around their waist. This would speed up the otherwise gruesome burning death.

Unfortunately for the ordinary Joe Soap who was sentenced to burn, no gunpowder and a much longer death.

I still remember the gory facts from secondary school history lessons!

That forms part of the first chapter of the new CJ Sansom book. I hadn't heard of it before.

oscarBravo

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

I'm gonna pronounce Ásatrúarfélagið like "astral fellatio"

Sadly, "ð" is pronounced like a softly-voiced "th".


I think.

CramCycle

oscarBravo wrote: »

Sadly, "ð" is pronounced like a softly-voiced "th".

Bit mean pointing out his lisp like that

robindch

oscarBravo wrote: »

Sadly, "ð" is pronounced like a softly-voiced "th".

Without checking, I thought it was the harder of the two Icelandic "th" sounds - a bit like the first consonant cluster in . The other Icelandic "th" being named 'thorn', being pronounced as the 'th' in 'thorn' and being typed on a Windows box by god-only-knows-how, but it looks like a 'p' with an ascender, or a 'b' with a descender.

Skrynesaver

 perl -e' print chr(0xfe),"\n";'

assuming you have a utf-8 compliant locale

Worztron

smacl

Worztron wrote: »

Yeah. Crucifixion is a doddle!

oscarBravo

robindch wrote: »

Without checking, I thought it was the harder of the two Icelandic "th" sounds - a bit like the first consonant cluster in . The other Icelandic "th" being named 'thorn', being pronounced as the 'th' in 'thorn' and being typed on a Windows box by god-only-knows-how, but it looks like a 'p' with an ascender, or a 'b' with a descender.

Hm. We need an Icelander. I thought that eth ("Đ" or "ð") was voiced almost like the start of "the", while thorn ("Þ" or "þ") was the unvoiced version (like the end of "with").

I need to go listen to some Sigur Rós...

shruikan2553

“I don’t believe anyone believes in a one-eyed man who is riding about on a horse with eight feet,”

Finally, a religious leader with sense.

Shrap

Any newcomers to A&A reading that last page....well....it's a full moon.

robindch

oscarBravo wrote: »

Hm. We need an Icelander.

Or wikipedia. I'd understood (incorrectly) that Đ/ð was a dental fricative versus Þ/þ as alveolar fricative - I think I'd mislead myself by paying too much attention to the D-shape of the Đ/ð (slaps wrist).

Instead, it's the other way around - Đ/ð is a voiced alveolar fricative (see here), while Þ/þ is an unvoiced dental fricative (see here), so adding the fricative location, yes, you're correct.

The earlier English usage of the y-shaped thorn - all that "Ye Olde Shoppe" stuff, which was actually pronounced "The Oldie Shoppie" and not "Ye Oldie Shoppie" - as a voiced dental fricative, the letter makes sense.

#sigh

Hotblack Desiato

Shrap wrote: »

Any newcomers to A&A reading that last page....well....it's a full moon.

And that thing beside it is Jupiter (fscking overcast here though)