The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

Gordon

OK, so it's pronounced astral fricative, sorted.

lynski

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

And that thing beside it is Jupiter (fscking overcast here though)

Is that what it is! Wow it's bright. Thanks

pauldla

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

And that thing beside it is Jupiter (fscking overcast here though)

Jupiter is visible next to the moon at the moment? I must go out to have a look tonight; we've been having wonderfully clear skies here recently.

Delirium

Scientists pledge to increase interference with the Church :pac:

The Catholic Church and Church of England have recently been urging MPs to vote against the introduction of mitochondrial donation, a potentially life-saving procedure with little to no evidence of any serious risks. However, despite many years of study and several regulations, the aforementioned churches have surprisingly decided to intervene and urge MPs to vote against approving the procedure.

This has lead to much criticism, especially from scientists. However, following the eventual failure of these efforts, one group of emboldened scientists has decided to go further and pledge to respond in kind by interfering as much as possible with religious matters.

The Federation for Furthering Science (FFS) has promised to intervene with any and all religious issues it can find that could benefit from some “scientific perspective”.

Dr Hugh Briss, spokesperson for FFS, explained the motivation for this policy.

“While they’re often at each other’s throats in other countries like the US, in the UK religion and science have mostly maintained an uneasy peace, largely by both ignoring whatever the other is doing (with some notable exceptions).

“But this interjection in approving a procedure that’s been extensively studied and refined by world-leading experts over several years on very questionable grounds? Well, that’s what we call a “bad precedent”. So if representatives of the churches are allowed to do that, then logically we as representatives of science are allowed to do the same? Or is that “persecution”?

Some of the objections raised by the Church have come under particular scrutiny from FFS, such as the accusation that mitochondrial donation will result in “three-parent families”.

“Even if that was true, which is isn’t, at no point has it ever been explained why this is an especially bad thing,” Dr Briss pointed out. “Seriously though; why is a three-parent family such a negative? Is it in the Bible? Wasn’t Jesus himself the result of a three-parent family? Or did I get the wrong idea there? I don’t see how you can tell people that two parents is the only thing permissible while insisting they call God “our father”, but maybe it’s just me”.

Another objection raised by the Church of England is that there is not 100% scientific certainty that the procedure will work and is safe. Another member of FFS, Dr Black (first name Potkettle) says she looked forward to applying these same stringent requirements to the policies and practices of the church.

“I’ve already produced a new version of the Bible that leaves out anything that can’t be 100% confirmed by science. It’s much more streamlined now, which is handy as you can fit it all on a postcard and mail it to people, rather than going door-to-door”.

Worztron

coolhull

^^
Is that the holy stone of Clonrickert?

Sure that's only a Class 3......

RikuoAmero

SW wrote: »

Scientists pledge to increase interference with the Church :pac:

You know your world is screwed when you hover your mouse over the link to check if it came from Waterford Whispers or the Onion...and it didnt...:(

Shrap

RikuoAmero wrote: »

You know your world is screwed when you hover your mouse over the link to check if it came from Waterford Whispers or the Onion...and it didnt...:(

True. Is every paper going to get into satire now? That was quite good, in fairness, but I can see myself falling for The Telegraph ones anytime soon and wondering do they actually have some reporters willing to write facts these days....

RikuoAmero

Shrap wrote: »

True. Is every paper going to get into satire now? That was quite good, in fairness, but I can see myself falling for The Telegraph ones anytime soon and wondering do they actually have some reporters willing to write facts these days....

...that was satire? I honestly can never tell the difference when it comes to religion.

Shrap

RikuoAmero wrote: »

...that was satire? I honestly can never tell the difference when it comes to religion.

Was it not? Bugger If it wasn't, then I am overawed by the acronym FFS...



But I get the feeling that the Guardian only want to do satire better than WWN do...

obplayer

RikuoAmero wrote: »

...that was satire? I honestly can never tell the difference when it comes to religion.

Yes it was satire...

FFS then went on to reassure any people alarmed by their intentions that none of them are likely to occur because FFS is entirely fictional, so don’t actually exist. “Not that that’s ever made much difference in this context,” Dr Briss admitted.

but a d@mn fine article as well!

RikuoAmero

obplayer wrote: »

Yes it was satire...

but a d@mn fine article as well!

To excuse the fact I didn't get the FFS, I'll plead tiredness from work.
Random Musing: Will the mods delete the FFS? Remember, we're not allowed put expletives, even in acronyms...but in this case, the FFS wasn't what it usually stands for.

Hotblack Desiato

Dr Hugh Briss = hubris

Another member of FFS, Dr Black (first name Potkettle)

MrPudding

RikuoAmero wrote: »

Remember, we're not allowed put expletives, even in acronyms...but in this case, the FFS wasn't what it usually stands for.

WTAF? When did this happen. If that is the case it is un-fcuking-acceptable. I thought that was just the other forum, where the reader are apparently a little more delicate...

MrP

smacl

MrPudding wrote: »

WTAF? When did this happen. If that is the case it is un-fcuking-acceptable. I thought that was just the other forum, where the reader are apparently a little more delicate...

MrP

Sips on his coffee and ponders the implications of the above...

Shrap

I need that mug. Or this one:

Genghiz Cohen

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Dr Hugh Briss = hubris

Missed a trick there with Dr Black. Could have been Dr. Pot Colin Kettleblack.

Worztron

robindch

robindch

Gary Glitter announces conversion to Catholicism

http://newsthump.com/2010/04/06/gary-glitter-announces-conversion-to-catholicism/

NewsThump wrote:

Seventies rocker Gary Glitter yesterday spoke out against the ‘petty gossip’ surrounding his convictions for child molestation, while announcing his surprise conversion to Catholicism. Speaking at a lavish baptism ceremony, the paedophile singer decried the idle chitchat regarding his many proven offences against children from the UK, Cambodia and Vietnam.

“It saddens me that my critics feel the need to tarnish my name with this petty, entirely-accurate and demonstrably-true gossip regarding my repeated crimes against children.” “Just because something terrible definitely happened, doesn’t give you the right to go on and on about it all the bloody time.”

The announcement of Glitter’s new-found devotion to the Pope and all things ‘Catholic’ may come as something of a surprise to his legions of fans. Having already been found guilty of abusing minors, a religious conversion appears to make almost no sense at all to those who have followed his career.

But, as the singer explains, the more he read about the modern Catholic Church, the more he knew it was the one for him. Glitter explained to waiting reporters, “I’ve never really been a religious man, because I’ve never before felt that religion really gets my way of life and who I am.”

“But now, I realise what I’ve been missing: the peace, the love, and – above all – the no-questions-asked protection the Catholic Church can offer.” Glitter, who sought refuge in Asia following discovery of his extensive child pornography collection in 1999, also took time out from the baptism ceremony to formally confirm details of an upcoming comeback tour.

“Having been off the tour circuit for a while, a comeback is long overdue. I’m thinking Germany, Ireland, Austria, Italy, Malta and the US before ending with a spectacular finale in Vatican City. From what I’ve read, I think I’ll be welcomed with open arms, not least by the leaders of my new faith. Pope Francis – I definitely want to be in YOUR gang,” concluded Glitter.

shruikan2553

The announcement of Glitter’s new-found devotion to the Pope and all things ‘Catholic’ may come as something of a surprise to his legions of fans. Having already been found guilty of abusing minors, a religious conversion appears to make almost no sense at all to those who have followed his career.

No, I was thinking the opposite. He wants protection only the RCC can provide, being moved around.

robindch

POLL: On A scale Of 1-To-Iona, How Homophobic Are You?

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2015/02/05/poll-on-a-scale-of-1-to-iona-how-homophobic-are-you/

Worztron

Brian Shanahan

Shrap wrote: »

True. Is every paper going to get into satire now? That was quite good, in fairness, but I can see myself falling for The Telegraph ones anytime soon and wondering do they actually have some reporters willing to write facts these days....

Torygraph policy at the moment is to copy Buzzfeed and go all listicles, while sacking the two remaining journalists at the paper, the profits of which are propping up the rest of the weirdo Barclay twins' empire (for now).

Worztron

silverharp

joseph brand

Sodom and Gomorrah.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bar3GOzDNzg

Kivaro

Lucifer MorningStar

What a loon :pac:

Worztron