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Still in the same house

  • 22-10-2013 10:19pm
    #1
    BD28
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭


    Is anybody out there going through a Divorce now and still living in the same house as their Spouse....it is holy hell....am going through the Legal Aid System so have had to "wait" for all my apppointments...one child living away in College...its a nightmare...house up for sale but i cant move out because I know that he will just settle back to this nice house for himself!!


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP - I am giving you your own thread. Please don't hijack anothers thread in such a manner again. Please take 5 minutes now to read our charter.

    Thanks
    Taltos


  • #3
    BD28
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭BD28


    Sorry...didnt realise I was hijacking...just keyed in Divorce...


  • #4
    desbrook
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    BD28 wrote: »
    Is anybody out there going through a Divorce now and still living in the same house as their Spouse....it is holy hell....am going through the Legal Aid System so have had to "wait" for all my apppointments...one child living away in College...its a nightmare...house up for sale but i cant move out because I know that he will just settle back to this nice house for himself!!

    Just to clarify so I don't mis-advise are you getting a divorce or separation ?


  • #5
    BD28
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭BD28


    Thanks for the reply...Divorce...have lived "separate" lives for about the past 5 years so have been advised that I can go directly for Divorce.


  • #6
    desbrook
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    BD28 wrote: »
    Thanks for the reply...Divorce...have lived "separate" lives for about the past 5 years so have been advised that I can go directly for Divorce.

    Grand , so where's the difference between then and now ? What I mean is if you have been living as separated people for the last five years why is now so difficult is it the issue of the house being sold ?


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  • #7
    athtrasna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,420 ✭✭✭✭athtrasna


    It's more and more common these days. Lived with my ex for about 18 months after we separated. He moved away with work this summer and it's like I was given my life back. There is always light at the tunnel, keep looking forward.


  • #8
    BD28
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭BD28


    Thanks for the encouragement athtrasna...finding it very difficult as he is being a pure bully about it. Has stopped paying any of his wages into the bank,,,has run up E2000 of debt...has ignored my Solicitors correspondence and we are like ships passing in the night. I live in one room and he in the other having as little to do with each other as possible. I do keep looking forward but sometimes it seems like forward moves further and further away.


  • #9
    desbrook
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    I'm a bit mystified by you calling him a bully . If by the bank you mean a joint account then he shouldn't pay his wages in - you are meant to be separated . Ditto goes for your "ship in the night" comment . You should be leading separate financial and living arrangements for the last four plus years . That should mean different food presses, meal times even washes in the machine -all sorts of stuff .
    While I'm sure it's frustrating that he's not answering legal correspondence he is agreeing to you both selling the house . This is a massive concession on his behalf . He's not having a picnic either . I'm not expecting you to sympathise with him but at least take comfort that he's not enjoying all this .
    It's a tense situation living together in these circumstances . You need a break even if its only a weekend away with a mate . Before you mention cost maybe they'd let you stay with them ? Things WILL get better . I don't know anyone who regretted separating when its over but its never easy during the process .


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