Moving out prank/general bastardness

Savoir.Faire

Seduce his mother and give her a good rodgering in your room while he is downstairs watching television.

Vicar in a tutu

just do a nick nack

osarusan

If you're willing to spend a bit and put some effort in, buy two walkie-talkies and plant one somewhere hard to find in his room.

Get within range and murmur strange noises, eerie music etc, at barely audible levels regularly for as long as the batteries last.

marshbaboon

RAPE HIM.

Funkfield

Before you leave tell him that you had a premonition where all his hair fell out and a couple days later his knob fell off.

Then the day you leave put some Immac in his shampoo and conditioner.

Red Pepper

It's gotta be fish...plural.

I recommend a type of fish called Smelt - you will find them in fishing tackle shops.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smelt_%28fish%29

Smelly.

razorblunt

Cut the toes off all his socks, except for one pair, left at the back of the drawer. Which he finds to his relief.
Except its not relief as you've taken a dump in them.


Then text him a few days later and ask him if he enjoyed his dinner? He won't know what dinner or what food it refers to.

MRnotlob606

i wouldn't do anything.

Hayte

I worry for some of you people, I really do.

darragh16

Paint all the lightbulbs in the house black, so when he turns them on it gets darker and he bumps into everything

BabyGorilla

I can't thumb up the poo replies, I mustn't ... to do so would be to condone your poo related mischief. Shame on you ... but they are funny.


Anyway, a couple of letters from you on behalf of your flatmate, penned by him...by which I mean you.

Dear local Mormons please send me literature about your heavenly mission.
(In fact why not call round Sunday at 6am)

Repeat for each religious/political/activist group for the next six towns.

Free ads - his number.

dutopia

Jeez, you're all a bunch of manky b@stards.

MonstaMash

1/ Take a dump on a piece of cling-film.

2/ Roll the cling film into a sausage shape leaving both ends open.

3/ Strategically place the cling-film, ****-sausage under the pillow of the victim.

Voila...

ekevosu

Anyone consider that maybe the OP is the bad housemate that the others have finally managed to evict and he's looking to enact bad housemate style revenge in keeping with his nature? Leave those people alone OP they have suffered enough.

Funkfield

1. take a crap and freeze it.
2. when it is frozen carve your initials in it (a smiley is optional!)
3. get him good and drunk and when he passes out shove it up his jaxie.

Imagine his surprise/horror when he turns to admire his work the next day!

Sigourney

SV wrote: »

I work nights, this guy bangs on my door and roars shouting 'WAKE UP SV WAKE UP' when he comes in on his lunch break and I'm fast asleep, amongst many other things, as he thinks it's funny. If you I'm going to be taking the mature approach then you're sorely fcking mistaken.

Maybe you could get a better job.

Crooked Jack

marshbaboon wrote: »

RAPE HIM.

Ah man, I had to walk out of office after i read that. Could barely control my laughter. Everyone thought I was crying

hoodwinked

ekevosu wrote: »

Anyone consider that maybe the OP is the bad housemate that the others have finally managed to evict and he's looking to enact bad housemate style revenge in keeping with his nature? Leave those people alone OP they have suffered enough.

*mind blown* :eek:

jester77

Get a cheap audio device that can play an mp3 really loud at a random time, have it only play once per night. Hide it somewhere hard to find, behind a cupboard, inside a socket, etc and have it play something like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gL4XqkQOFU

smurgen

Our old eviction move in Santa Barbara springs to mind.
Piss in a plunger and stick it to the ceiling.Anyone taking it down gets piss in the eye.

Potatoeman

You cant work nights and share with people that dont. There are general noises during the day that are just people living. How did you end up sharing with them?

PLUG71

If they have a car, piss in their screen washer bottle!
Believe me they will have to replace the bottle to get rid of the smell after using the washers

Squaredude

Get yourself a can of surströmming,open it and hide it somewhere. Job done.

Grayditch

Kill his whole family, and sit their corpses around the table, and then sit down yourself. When he comes in, tell him your glad he's here and that tea's nearly ready. Then laugh and say... "You never told me your mother doesn't like rich tea. I wouldn't have put out rich tea, if I'd known. It's been very awkward, she hasn't touched a single one. Why would you not tell me something like that? You've made me look like a fool".

Then just, I dunno... wing the rest yourself.


Probably shouldn't actually do this, though, I think I should mention this, for Boards sake.

Potatoeman

Did you use your landlord as a reference? If you did they might contact your new one. Did you leave a forwarding address?

Sigourney

Seems to be an awful lot of scatfreaks out there. I'm never sitting down on a non-steriliseable chair again.

Sigourney

Grayditch wrote: »

Kill his whole family, and sit their corpses around the table, and then sit down yourself. When he comes in, tell him your glad he's here and that tea's nearly ready. Then laugh and say... "You never told me your mother doesn't like rich tea. I wouldn't have put out rich tea, if I'd known. It's been very awkward, she hasn't touched a single one. Why would you not tell me something like that? You've made me look like a fool".

Then just, I dunno... wing the rest yourself.

Then pull the fishing lines attached to the corpses' jaws so they all say...




ARISTOCRATS!

x43r0

I don't really approve of childish pranks so burn the entire place to ground

Conall Cernach

endacl wrote: »

Unless your housemate is the type to respond to one of these threads in the predictable 'leave something smelly behind' manner. If we're talking about that kind of housemate, chloroform them while they sleep, full the house with animal carcasses, and brick up every door and window. Leave scary music playing and strobe lights flashing.

AH enough...?

How about leave an empty bottle of chloroform (or a bottle labelled chloroform) in the recycling along with a half empty tub of vaseline. Put vaseline on the inside handle of the door to his room too. I'm sure other AH wags could expand on this theme.

Santa Cruz

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Ones I've heard:

You could stick his toothbrush up your ass every day for the last month......not that I condone this of course, but I do know someone who did this to a particularly nasty person before they left a shared house. The "victim" will never know but you will.....

Or just gently brush your bum bum with it if insertion isn't your thing.

As previously posted fish/frozen prawns in curtain rails is a classic but do not do this until your very last day!

You could also remove a socket from a wall and place a poo inside the cavity and replace the socket.

Poo in butter: empty butter out of the tub. Poo in tub. Carefully replace, cover and shape butter around poo. Replace kid, place in fridge and leave quickly!

Spill milk on the carpet under his bed. As it sours it will stink.

The toothbrush trick was a favourite one time of burglars except that they would use a camera there to take a picture of the toothbrush up their arse and subsequently when the film was developed (pre digital times) the householder would get a lovely surprise

Miaireland

Get one of those timer splug things, a cd player and a recording of something like Barney. Put it in a locked room set to come on in the middle of the night.

Only do this if he is the only one in thehouse.

SV

Ok, just to clarify, there will absolutely be no fecal matter involved in any prank (or jizz, piss or other bodily fluids for that matter) but the idea of freezing a poo and grating it in random places did make me lol, you sick animal. I think I'll invest 50 into the alarm clock prank for now, the miwadi in the water tank is also excellent!

Electric Sheep

smurgen wrote: »

Our old eviction move in Santa Barbara springs to mind.
Piss in a plunger and stick it to the ceiling.Anyone taking it down gets piss in the eye.

Why were you being evicted?

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

Mat the trasher

Try a couple of packets of beef Oxo cubes in the main water tank in the attic, he'll wonder for ages why he smells of beef!!
only partially open some for the prolonged effect, even some chicken soups would work too.

Cork selfbuild

If there's a house alarm, change the code and set it before you move out, may p*ss off the neighbours but nothing worse than an alarm going off you can't switch off... Especially if it's got an internal siren, bloody louder than the outside one...

FanadMan

banquo wrote: »

Fish inside the curtain pole.

They will never[/] be able to trace the source of the smell.

Did something similar but put the fish inside a door. Cut a hole in the top edge of the door and dropped the fish inside. Was never found

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

FanadMan

Squaredude wrote: »

Get yourself a can of surströmming,open it and hide it somewhere. Job done.

Ooooo......fiendish! That stuff is vile.

PizzamanIRL

Leave earlier than expected and make him pay the full rent.

Timfy

The "Annoy-O-Tron"

Santa Cruz

Put his number on a website advertising " One Direction concert tickets for sale Must be genuine fan"