Long distance

HomeAlone94

Okay ,so currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend ,we've only been going out nearly a year now and hes only gone since September ..
We were best friends first and we met in college as we were in the same course so i was use to seeing him everyday
tbh we are doing well he rings me everyday weather it be a phone call or skype i trust him 100% but somedays i find it so hard to come to terms with the fact hes not here it sometimes makes me angry that he left me ?i know it sounds selfish and i dont want to resent him for it .. sometimes i think why did he go ,if he loves me so much why did he leave me and i trust him and all that but somedays its just tough and i get sad and wonder will it all work out i love him so much and i want him to be happy any advice or relationships that have survived the long distance:o please no stories on break ups !

boomkatalog

I met himself online and we lived at opposite sides of the country. Although we were both in Ireland, because of our jobs/college/me not driving we didn't see a whole lot of each other. That went on for two years and although it did become a bit much for a while (we split up for a couple of months) we worked it out, have now been living together almost two years and couldn't be happier. We'll be together 5 years in Spring

Long distance (whatever the distance may be) is hard but so long as you both make the effort to see each other when ye can, trust each other and talk regularly (without suffocating each other) there's no reason it shouldn't work out.

As for him leaving, if it was for college or work then he probably made the right decision for him, it might be hard but sometimes unfortunately practicality comes first.

Best of luck with it, I hope it works out for ye

brandom

I am also in a LDR, just celebrated our 2nd anniversary last week- unfortunately while still 3000 miles apart. Like the previous poster we met online but we obviously live in different countries. All I can do is echo her valid points, trust is absolutely key, if you don't have that then the long distance thing is just pointless torture for everyone involved. Its also important to try talk/skype/visit as much as possible, bearing in mind the practicalities of life and work etc, if you can set up some sort of routine so that that least one evening a week is set aside for that it helps a lot, and gives you something to look forward to. Visit when you can. There is no reason why it can't work ,as long as you are both willing, and both put in some effort. Obviously its also easier if you know the distance is only for a finite amount of time, but again life can sometimes get in the way of that. All I can say is I wish you the very best and hope that it works out for you

rainbow kirby

We were LDR until July of this year - just over a year and a half of long distance until I moved to London from Dublin to move in with my OH. It was hard work, expensive (I took 25 flights in 2012, I cannot imagine being in an LDR as a student) and tiring, but so worth it now that we're living together and really happy. Communication is the absolute key - you need to be able to talk through just about anything via remote means. You also need to be strong enough to accept that there are times when you're going to be desperate to have them there but they are hundreds of miles away.

Butterface

I'm doing the LDR thing until next summer. Having a point in the future to look forward to really helps, and it feels like time is moving quickly.

We skype every evening and send texts and silly snapchats throughout the day. We've also arranged flights over and back to each other up until Xmas time, and then at Xmas we'll organise flights for the next semester up until June. I don't feel worried about us at all as I know our relationship is very strong.

Try not to dwell on the negative thoughts and just keep ticking off the days on the calendar until you see each other.

Supercell

My wife and I did long distance for a couple of years before marriage. She was in China and myself in Ireland. We webcammed every day and when we couldn't do the webcam we did long phone calls -thank god for Tesco mobiles 1c a minute to China!
For us it was a matter of planning our future together which helped keep us with something to aim for - there was alway the next visit, a birthday , christmas, something in the future to be excited about.
We sent each other surprise things in the post, stuff like that. We are married now over three years with a 1.5 years boy and another baba on the way and life couldn't be better, so it can work, but needs work from both sides until you can finally spend your lives together forever.

iusedtoknow

We did the LDR for 2 and a bit years before I moved to Spain. We were both busy with college, but always made time for each other - however we had to work VERY hard at not resenting each other having a life. We never organised to have chats etc on a saturday evening nor Friday evening. Our chats at the weekend were always a Saturday Afternoon and a Sunday afternoon. This meant we were available for a mates in our home towns (Cork/Barcelona).
It is a tough way to live, but for it to work, you need an end in sight. For us, it was me finishing college. Then a job opportunity came up that got me a foot in the door somewhere, before moving to Barcelona and kickstarting my career and our life together. I worked through college and had a very understanding employer. I was able to get a weekend off every 2nd month to head over to Spain Thursday-> Sunday.
She would come over as much as she could (she studied medicine, so time off was few and far between).

It's tough, but we've been together close on 9 years and married for nearly 5. If anything, the LDR part of our relationship laid the groundwork for very open communication, and trust. Something that holds you in good stead for a long time

Merkin

My husband and I did LDR at the start. It takes work but it's worth it. As Rainbow said, good communication is the key to making it work.

HomeAlone94

Thanks everyone for the comments it really helped and just an update we are still together and things are going really well we keep in touch and I've found that our relationship is strong he's home for good now in july and im looking forward to finally having him home all the hard work feels like its finally paying off im finding it alot easier now
thanks to everyone i love reading all your stories

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