A question of sentimentality regarding death

fatmammycat

When my last dog and when my last two elderly cats were euthanised by the vet, I left their corpses in his office and went home.
I stayed with each animal right up until the end, and held them as they died so they wouldn't feel frightened or alone. But once dead, that's it's for me. They're dead, no longer them for want of a better explanation. I have no attatchment to their bodies or their things at all, no interest in ashes or digging large holes in my garden to bury them.
I never gave this much thought before until this morning when a lady I met while out with the GSD ended up talking about a recent pet of hers who died and how much it cost her to have her cremated. She looked at me askance when I told her I didn't go in much for post death carry-on and I could tell she thought I was a cold fish.
I'm not a cold fish and very much care greatly for my animals when they are alive. I miss them when they're gone. It's just I have no sentimental feelings about bodies and death at all. Does anyone else feel this way? I am preparing to ice my gills just in case.

bluecherry74

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one. I've loved all my pets dearly and have taken care of them when they're ill and held them during their final seconds while they were drifting away. But I've never felt the need to bring them home to bury them or hang on to their ashes. I have my memories and photos, and my last dog's tag is still on my keyring. That's all I need.

There's nothing at all wrong with holding onto ashes etc. if it means something to someone, everyone has different ways of holding on to memories and honoring their pets and I think it's important to do whatever it takes to get you through the tough period, but it's just not for me.

TooManyDogs

I've had to have 3 pets pts and while I'm not a big believer in graves, or a believer at all actually, when push came to shove I just couldn't leave their bodies behind. I did end up bringing them home and burying them in the garden but without ceremony and I don't visit or tend graves or things like that. I normally plant a tree on the spot (half as a gesture and half so my other nosy dogs don't go investigating :eek: ) I just don't like the thoughts of them going in the bin, even though my logical half knows they're gone in any real sense

meoklmrk91

I wouldn't judge anyone, everyone deals with things differently, what's right for one person may not be right for someone else. I don't know what I would do in that situation, haven't been through it yet, but whatever feels right at the time is what I will be doing.

anniehoo

I got my dog of 14 years cremated, nothing apart from that sat right with me,but I completely understand why others don't or just leave them at their vets.

With my cat he went for student pathology teaching and I said initially I didn't want his body back.I changed my mind 10mins later.:o I was realistic that he was being dissected for teaching,but I was very emotional when I thought of him being just disposed of. I couldn't rationalise that at all for some reason,which was odd.I got him cremated too and glad I did.

With my foster dog she also went for teaching purposes and her body was disposed of normally and I had no problem with that. I only had her 7mths and didn't have the same attachment to her. So for me it seems to depend on the length of time and type of bond I've had with my pet that seems to affect my emotional side when it comes to the "after death" part.

Bullseye1

Always buried them in our garden until we moved. I had my last one cremated and his ashes mounted behind a framed picture if him.

Uberbeamerman

Taking them home is a lot more pleasant than what happens when you just leave them with the vet. I know with my own animals i'd like to know they're resting in peace in a place that they called home.

fatmammycat

anniehoo wrote: »

I got my dog of 14 years cremated, nothing apart from that sat right with me,but I completely understand why others don't or just leave them at their vets.

With my cat he went for student pathology teaching and I said initially I didn't want his body back.I changed my mind 10mins later.:o I was realistic that he was being dissected for teaching,but I was very emotional when I thought of him being just disposed of. I couldn't rationalise that at all for some reason,which was odd.I got him cremated too and glad I did.

With my foster dog she also went for teaching purposes and her body was disposed of normally and I had no problem with that. I only had her 7mths and didn't have the same attachment to her. So for me it seems to depend on the length of time and type of bond I've had with my pet that seems to affect my emotional side when it comes to the "after death" part.

That's interesting, I didn't realise you could donate their bodies for teaching purposes. How might you go about that?

ShaShaBear

Without wanting to cause anyone distress, I could never leave my dog behind after being put to sleep.

I did ten weeks work experience in a vets in Louth for my first college course, and when we put the animals to sleep, they were bagged and thrown on top of each other in a freezer until the man that takes away the bodies came on a Thursday. I do not feel there is a life to which I am attached in a dead body either, but the image in my head of my pet wrapped tight in a clear bin bag and cramped into a freezer among other dead dogs and cats is simply horrifying!!

SillyMangoX

For the same reason as ShaShaBear I couldn't leave the body behind either. We have a mini cemetery in our back garden where every pet has been buried since even my Mum was a child. This includes a horse which is buried somewhere underneath my house!! In saying that though, I think I would go for cremation with my current pets; just so I could take them with me if I ever move away etc. Not that they are ever going to die. They will be the first immortal cats :pac:

ShaShaBear

SillyMangoX wrote: »

For the same reason as ShaShaBear I couldn't leave the body behind either. We have a mini cemetery in our back garden where every pet has been buried since even my Mum was a child. This includes a horse which is buried somewhere underneath my house!! In saying that though, I think I would go for cremation with my current pets; just so I could take them with me if I ever move away etc. Not that they are ever going to die. They will be the first immortal cats :pac:

My OH often jokes that we'll have to start digging the hole for Shadow now if we want it to be done in time, but a horse-sized hole takes the biscuit
We live in rented accommodation, but mum said we can use her garden when the time comes. Both my hamsters are buried there, and our cat Tigger. All in little wooden varnished coffins that my dad made (he was a carpenter). Kinda sad he isn't here to do the same for Shadow, but at the same time now that I'm older, the thought of him sitting in his shed nailing little coffins together and artistically engraving their names into them is sorta eerie!

muddypaws

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Without wanting to cause anyone distress, I could never leave my dog behind after being put to sleep.

I did ten weeks work experience in a vets in Louth for my first college course, and when we put the animals to sleep, they were bagged and thrown on top of each other in a freezer until the man that takes away the bodies came on a Thursday. I do not feel there is a life to which I am attached in a dead body either, but the image in my head of my pet wrapped tight in a clear bin bag and cramped into a freezer among other dead dogs and cats is simply horrifying!!

Would that be the same for animals that are left to be disposed of by the vet, and also the animals that people have asked to be cremated?

For my own part, I have had dogs cremated, and I have also buried dogs and cats. However, unless you are going to be living in the house forever, where the pets are buried, you will leave them behind eventually. You can take ashes with you if you move of course, I still have one dog's ashes in my bedroom and she will come with us when we go but I don't think I will get anymore cremated. I got one dog cremated a few years ago, he was pts at home, and I helped the vet carry his body to his jeep, wrapped up in his bed, then we scattered his ashes at a pond on a walk that we used to do. It was nice to go and sit at the pond and let the other dogs have a swim and a play, and feel that Mowgli was with us. But, not wishing to be contentious, how do we know that the ashes we get back are just our pets and not a different animal, or a mixture of different animals?

As much as I love all of my animals, I think from now on, I will spend the money on the living ones, instead of cremating them and getting their ashes back.

cocker5

I wouldnt judge anyone for the decision the make with regard to when their pets passed away etc.

For me I would have my current dog cremenated and scattered on our local beach (his favourite place)... I suppose its more for my benefit and not his but it would make me feel he's free etc thats all. I couldnt leave him behind etc...

Its all a personal decision doesnt mean one person adores there dogs anymore than the other etc

SillyMangoX

muddypaws wrote: »

Would that be the same for animals that are left to be disposed of by the vet, and also the animals that people have asked to be cremated?

Animals to be cremated are usually put in nicer bags in a different section of the freezer... still not nice but at least they are returning to you.

westies4ever

funny me and OH discussed recently what we would do when our dogs pass away or need to be pts (hopefully it years away)!

neither of us are religious or sentimental but we did say we would like to have them cremated. our intention then is to either scatter them in their favourite walking place (local woods) or plant a tree - something like this

http://bigthink.com/design-for-good/this-awesome-urn-will-turn-you-into-a-tree-after-you-die

ShaShaBear

I wouldn't be against the idea of cremation, but as sillymangox said it's the same principle of him being left behind, and worrying myself over how he would be cremated. Obviously the ceremony wouldn't be like that for people.

Because Shadow doesn't get on with other dogs, we've only had him for the past 9 years. Our dog before that was given back to the rescue centre that we got him from after four years, my mum thought he had just gone nuts, but it turned out he had a stroke and just went mental. We've never had to bury a dog, and I'm hoping by the time I want to refill an empty doggie hole in my heart, myself and OH will own our own home where we can bury any future pets.

sonny jim bob jones

Our cat died unexpectedly overnight during the summer. I opted for the (cheaper) shared cremation, I left the basket etc with the vet.I had no interest in paying to know how / why she died.

At that point it was a cold corpse, the cat we loved was gone. She was well looked after when alive, that is what mattered. Still miss her almost 6 months later.

Manach

Perhaps overly emotional, but they are part of the family so where better a resting place for their remains and spirits than a shady spot in the garden.

looking_around

I feel this way about people, nevermind pets.

A body is just that, a body.

That's not to say I don't miss them, feel hurt etc but I'm not all that interested in where the body goes. As it's not them anymore.
I hate funerals for that reason. S:

westies4ever

Manach wrote: »

Perhaps overly emotional, but they are part of the family so where better a resting place for their remains and spirits than a shady spot in the garden.

i agree if you have the space - wouldnt work in my garden, just not big enough

taytobreath

I've all my animals buried in my back garden, I've a feckin hen buried there among them too, I couldn't bring myself to throwing her in the wheelie bin or the oven, my logic was, she gave us lots of eggs so she deserves the same respect as the rest of our pets.

But I couldn't leave my dead pets in the vets, I'd be only thinking all the time where are they now? what happened to them? But I fully respect that other people aren't bothered what happens to their pets.

boomerang

I wanted to take my girls home with me, to be sure they were treated with dignity and respect. Boo stayed overnight on her own in UCD and even though the vet and the students were lovely, it still pained me to leave her alone. (Sorry, still can't bear to use the word "body" or "remains" - I'm tearing up just writing this.) Funnily enough I've no problem at all being cremated myself, but couldn't bear the thoughts of doing that to my girls and then the pain of getting the ashes back.

So they are here at home with me, which gives my dad a lot of comfort, but me only small comfort. But if I died, I'd like to be cremated and have my ashes scattered at their resting place.

ETA: I agree with anniehoo, I think your reaction does somewhat depend on your bond. I've had to have various pet rats and hamsters euthanised and many, many very sick or badly injured stray and feral cats, and didn't feel bad for leaving them behind at the vet after they'd died. I'd already done the most important thing for them.

boomerang

PS There is no difference in how our pets' are stored at the vets once they've passed. A white, labelled bag for single cremation, a green one for group cremation, stored in a deep freeze for later collection. It might not matter to every owner, but I am very mindful to be gentle and respectful to the body of a pet that has passed but is not going home with the owner to be buried.

SarahBeep!

My Mam keeps saying that after our cat dies (he's only 9 and a half, I really wish she'd stop saying this ) she won't be getting any more pets. I've moved out of home and I understand she wants freedom and stuff but she says she'll just bury him in the garden and I keep saying I want him cremated. He hasn't been in our garden in years!! I also worry about moving house.

I have him since I was 12. I couldn't bare to leave him at the vets, he's never left me so I couldn't do the same to him.

anniehoo

fatmammycat wrote: »

That's interesting, I didn't realise you could donate their bodies for teaching purposes. How might you go about that?

UCD provide free post mortems as the animals they receive are used for student teaching purposes. If you donate your animal, it will be used for Pathology teaching,a vital tool for students that can't be taught any other way effectively bar practicing on an actual body.

Other parts may also be kept for research purposes if the animal has a condition that is currently being researched there also. My foster dogs pituitary gland was kept as she had a macroadenoma pressing on it which caused her Cushings disease that she was on meds for prior to her death Beanie, my cat had a very rare aneurysm in his chest and even the Pathologist himself said he'd learned from him because it's not a common issue in cats apparently.

fatmammycat

anniehoo wrote: »

UCD provide free post mortems as the animals they receive are used for student teaching purposes. If you donate your animal, it will be used for Pathology teaching,a vital tool for students that can't be taught any other way effectively bar practicing on an actual body.

Other parts may also be kept for research purposes if the animal has a condition that is currently being researched there also. My foster dogs pituitary gland was kept as she had a macroadenoma pressing on it which caused her Cushings disease that she was on meds for prior to her death Beanie, my cat had a very rare aneurysm in his chest and even the Pathologist himself said he'd learned from him because it's not a common issue in cats apparently.

That terrific, thank you for the info. I think I will donate him, he's young now, so I -hopefully- don't need to think about it for a few years to come, but I would definitely go this route. They might even find something regarding his being raw fed for his entire life, what I don't know, but I'll make a note of it.
( for that matter I am considering donating my own cuerpo for medical training, might as well see it go to some use when I pop my clogs - also hopefully a long way off )