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Getting asked to buy her a drink... Am I missing something?

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Comments

  • #152
    Meangadh
    Registered Users Posts: 3,963 ✭✭✭Meangadh


    In fairness a girl who does that is a tit. But a fella who goes along with it is a bigger eejit do so. Tell her to go jump. I would never ask a guy to buy me a drink- actually as it is I get embarrassed if a guy offers to buy me one, I'm certainly not going to ask him to do so!


  • #153
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,408 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    I'm going to ignore most of the women bashing posts on this thread, which has remarkable stayed open, and simply advise you to say " no thank you."

    Mod note - Please report any posts you feel break the forum charter as the moderators rely on their fellow posters to highlight issues.


  • #154
    Femme_Fatale
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    beks101 wrote: »
    Or you could just, you know, give a wide berth? Not entertain them, decline offers to buy a drink and move on with your life?

    I've got plenty of stunningly gorgeous friends who haven't learned to trade on and "take advantage" of their looks in this kind of a rude, embarrassing way, I'm truly shocked by the many accounts on this thread and can only deduce that age and venue are the determining factors here. From my experience as a woman, late 20s, fairly social, having drank in countless pubs and clubs for about a decade right across the world and back, I've just never witnessed anything like it.
    Massive +1. Going up to a fella and asking him to buy a drink? A phenomenon I am just not familiar with. Maybe it happened among classmates when I was in school; after that, no awareness of it.


  • #155
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    Femme_Fatale wrote: »
    Massive +1. Going up to a fella and asking him to buy a drink? A phenomenon I am just not familiar. Maybe it happened among classmates when I was in school; after that, no awareness of it.

    Where I come from, a woman doesn't just walk up and ask for a drink, but within a nexus of subtle social queues, her "permission" to coldly approach a man is to "offer" to let them buy her a drink. As in if she picks up that he is a little shy to approach her, she might give this signal, or if she signals she'd like him to speak to her.

    Why doesn't she offer to by him a drink? She might fear it is seen as emasculating. He who pays the piper calls the tune type of vibe.

    Just as accepting a drink from a man, signals she has given him permission to take up someof her time.

    Like "want to come inside for a coffee" has its social quees, so does asking for a drink. It doesn't mean they are slutty vampires.


  • #156
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    Femme_Fatale wrote: »
    Massive +1. Going up to a fella and asking him to buy a drink? A phenomenon I am just not familiar. Maybe it happened among classmates when I was in school; after that, no awareness of it.

    Yeah I can't say I've encountered recently. The last time it happened to me was about 5 or 6 years ago when a girl walked up to me and just asked me for the money for a drink. I told her to feck off and she called me a blouse wearing willy hugger. Strange.


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  • #157
    cantdecide
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    Where I come from, a woman doesn't just walk up and ask for a drink, but within a nexus of subtle social queues, her "permission" to coldly approach a man is to "offer" to let them buy her a drink. As in if she picks up that he is a little shy to approach her, she might give this signal, or if she signals she'd like him to speak to her.

    Why doesn't she offer to by him a drink? She might fear it is seen as emasculating. He who pays the piper calls the tune type of vibe.

    Just as accepting a drink from a man, signals she has given him permission to take up someof her time.

    Like "want to come inside for a coffee" has its social quees, so does asking for a drink. It doesn't mean they are slutty vampires.

    Do you think it's possible that in this thread, in all the stated examples, that in a least one case the girl simply wished to extort drink out of a guy in exchange for casual flirtation or the suggestion that she may have been interested in him while she actually wasn't? Yes or no?


  • #158
    beano345
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,105 ✭✭✭beano345


    cantdecide wrote: »
    Do you think it's possible that in this thread, in all the stated examples, that in a least one case the girl simply wished to extort drink out of a guy in exchange for casual flirtation or the suggestion that she may have been interested in him while she actually wasn't? Yes or no?

    Happened to me a few years ago was waiting ages at the bar to get served when some girl literally jumps into my field of vision with a big "hi" so were chatting and she says say look I work here I can get you served quicker.....if you buy me a drink!!, so at this stage I'm fcuked off with waiting and agree she calls over the bartender (her bf) and says this guys after buying me a drink and he starts getting pissed off and jealous about it,dawned on me then she was trying to make her bf jealous and a fee drink to boot!


  • #159
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    beano345 wrote: »
    Happened to me a few years ago was waiting ages at the bar to get served when some girl literally jumps into my field of vision with a big "hi" so were chatting and she says say look I work here I can get you served quicker.....if you buy me a drink!!, so at this stage I'm fcuked off with waiting and agree she calls over the bartender (her bf) and says this guys after buying me a drink and he starts getting pissed off and jealous about it,dawned on me then she was trying to make her bf jealous and a fee drink to boot!

    Ahh jasus that's even worse.


  • #160
    Femme_Fatale
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    beano345 wrote: »
    Happened to me a few years ago was waiting ages at the bar to get served when some girl literally jumps into my field of vision with a big "hi" so were chatting and she says say look I work here I can get you served quicker.....if you buy me a drink!!, so at this stage I'm fcuked off with waiting and agree she calls over the bartender (her bf) and says this guys after buying me a drink and he starts getting pissed off and jealous about it,dawned on me then she was trying to make her bf jealous and a fee drink to boot!
    Sweet lord, I don't even...

    I really hate some women!


  • #161
    beano345
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,105 ✭✭✭beano345


    Femme_Fatale wrote: »
    Sweet lord, I don't even...

    I really hate some women!

    As I was leaving they were outside arguing and she goes oh look there's that fella who bought me a drink again.. I looked at the bf and said jesus you've landed a right peach there!


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  • #162
    BigDuffman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,512 ✭✭✭BigDuffman


    I worked in night clubs for years so I've seen it all, bar flies hopping from lad to lad. You even see them operating in packs in some of the more " exclusive" clubs where buying a bottle for the table would be their angle.

    I can understand (but not condone) them trying to get a cheap night out. But what I don't get is their reaction when refused. The outrage that someone would dare to suggest they pay for their own drink! What gives them that sense of entitlement to make demands off strangers.


  • #163
    beano345
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,105 ✭✭✭beano345


    "But what I don't get is their reaction when refused. The outrage that someone would dare to suggest they pay for their own drink! What gives them that sense of entitlement to make demands off strangers."

    Sure aren't they giving you the permission or "privelege" of taking up some of their time/speaking with you...talk about being stuck up your own a*se


  • #164
    Mike747
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 383 ✭✭Mike747


    beano345 wrote: »
    "But what I don't get is their reaction when refused. The outrage that someone would dare to suggest they pay for their own drink! What gives them that sense of entitlement to make demands off strangers."

    Sure aren't they giving you the permission or "privelege" of taking up some of their time/speaking with you...talk about being stuck up your own a*se

    Exactly, be grateful that a strong independent womon has chosen to speak to you. Check your privilege white males.


  • #165
    Sabatage
    Registered Users Posts: 11 ✭Sabatage


    Had a few experiences of this but thought you lads would like to hear how I turned it around for the men!. Many years ago when I lived in Liverpool I had long hair wore tight jeans and had a hair metal/whitesnake/Bon Jovi kind of look. So me and my two pals would go out in the city centre - I'd go to a bar on my own stand adjacent to a bunch of ladies and mind my own business. After about 15 mins or so the two lads would come in, pretend to be shocked and come over and ask for my autograph.
    I'd oblige and have a drink with them. Low and behold said ladies jumped on us!!
    Told them I was with Def Leppard or whoever - keep in mind this was before smartphones so they couldn't google me! Worked a treat! Needless to say went back to there place as I wasn't exactly living in a rock star mansion! Went back to Liverpool recently with my son for a match minus tight jeans and a distinct lack of hair nervously looking around for familiar faces!!


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