How to distract yourself

Unlucky_slevin

So my boyfriend of over a year dumped me yesterday after a massive blow out row. Don't know if we're finished for good or not but there's no communication at all from him today.

I'm a very soft, emotional person so to say I'm devastated is an understatement, haven't slept, ate and can't stop crying hysterically. Can't stop thinking about him and it's killing me that I can't make contact.

I've watched tv, walked the dog (while crying) tried to read, spoke with friends and I can't distract myself. I know I have to give him space but how much space I don't know.

We were having a few problems but nothing serious. His mother was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness so I think that has pushed him over the edge. Otherwise we're really close. I love this man so much and have never felt this strongly about anyone.

I just need advice from people who have felt like this before. I don't drink so that's not an option.

alias06

Well drinking wouldn't help matters at all anyway so its good you don't have that option.

The end of a relationship like this is like a bereavement and you need to look upon it as such. You will feel terrible and that's normal. It will hit you at certain times more than others, sometimes out of the blue, it will come and go just like grief and gradually it will get better. There is no easy fix for this you just have to give it time.

R.D. aka MR.D

Do something that means that you can't be around your phone/computer.

Like go shopping, even just browsing around the shops for a few hours and leave your phone in car or at home.

Watch a movie, i usually find watching a horror movie keeps me distracted enough. It's even better if you can go to the cinema, you are essentially trapped phone free for 2 hours.

Do some cleaning or sort out something so you can get lost in it for a while.

Go for a drive, again you can't look at your phone.

Hang in there. It's difficult.

Hope it works out for you x

Matteroffact

You only got dumped yesterday.........now hold your horses. This could just have been a massive argument and his reaction was to dump you, but it doesn't mean that this is over.......yet ! People say things on the spur of the moment in anger and when they cool down they regret it. Just wait this out, I am certain he will contact you again, but you need to give it a week or two. Relationships that end in anger always leave scope for getting back together again. It is not like you both sat down and discussed this calmly and then decided to break up. I would bet that this is not the end of this relationship, but do not contact him at the moment, you both need at least a week to think things out. Sit tight, and no more crying, this is not the end.

Sleepless and Manic

I'm so sorry! You poor thing. Its a horrible thing to go through.

But a another poster said, maybe if its only been a day(!), its only a temporary thing?

Sometimes I find writing my feelings can be helpful (especially at times when you just cant distract yourself from them). It gives you a chance to get your thoughts in order.

Unlucky_slevin

It's four days now and still no contact. I've completely lost my appetite. If I try eat I feel nauseous. I've been talking to friends and family. My parents are being very good and my poor dog has had the legs walked off him.

I just hate feeling like this and not being able to control it. I'm back to work tomorrow with a 6am start and sleeping is not happening either.

This sucks donkey c*ck!!!!

CaraMay

What was it all about

Sleepless and Manic

Hang in there. Every day is a little closer to getting it all resolved one way or another and being at work will stabilize things a little even if you're dead tired.

Charlene_92

I really, honestly feel for you my dear. Break ups literally feel like a kick in the heart and there is no answer or remedy on the planet that numbs the pain unfortunately. You loved this man and obviously, you feel like your world just crashed down around you. What you have to tell yourself is that these feelings are completely natural and allow yourself to feel them. Don't worry about being strong or distracting yourself because that will just make things harder on you in the long run. The best way to start healing is to let the emotions wash over you for the first few days, where everything is new and raw. Then you can try getting back to normality. There's no denying that it takes quite a bit of time to properly get over something like this but believe me when I say that each day is a whole lot better than the one before. Always remember that the past is exactly that. Every day brings a new opportunity for happiness so reach out and grab it. You are the only one who can focus your mind on becoming happy in your life again so when the time is right, hold your head up high and fight your battles. Trust me darling, you will be ok again soon xx