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"Man Up" campaign by SafeIreland
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Perhaps going slightly off topic but I was just listening to a repeat of Lunchtime Live on Newstalk today and a woman talked about her husband having an affair and after she found out, he was kicked out the next day.
Again, some people might say this is reasonable, but I wonder is there any gender difference in terms of the percentage of men and women who are kicked out of the home in that scenario.
I’ve never been in either side of an argument like that, but if it happened, or any big blow out row, and I get ‘told’ to leave my/our home, my answer is... “NO, this is my home, I’m happy and comfortable here...my name is on the paperwork...if you are uncomfortable yourself with being here, you have options, one of them is for YOU to leave”.
The fûck would I be walking out of a property I own or jointly own, worth xxx,xxx just because somebody is having a raging flounce and throwing toys left right and center....0 -
AlsoAnother campaign that doesn't look gender neutral
https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-40226870.htmlYoung women are at heightened risk of online abuse from a current or former intimate partner during the Covid-19 pandemic, according to Women’s Aid.
The charity noted with alarm reports from other jurisdictions suggesting a surge of image-based sexual abuse since last March as it launched a campaign to highlight the fact that cyber-harassment and image-based sexual abuse are now crimes in Ireland.
Its #TooIntoYou advertising campaign also focuses on the signs of unhealthy relationships and encourages young people to reach out for support.
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/ireland/irish-news/pandemic-has-increased-risk-of-online-abuse-for-young-women-says-charity-1.44847360 -
Irish more likely to intervene in illegal dumping than domestic violence
Survey finds intervention more likely in male-on-female violence than vice-versa
[..]
Violent incidents
Irish people are also far more likely to say they would intervene in a case of male-on-female domestic violence than in female-on-male domestic violence situation.
Sixty-three per cent of Irish people would be “willing or very willing” to step in if they saw a man hit a woman compared to 30 per cent if a woman hit a man. The EU average was 64/44 respectively.
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/irish-more-likely-to-intervene-in-illegal-dumping-than-domestic-violence-1.44889760 -
Article from the US:
https://mensdivorce.expert/blog/spousal-abuse-wife-is-abuser/SPOUSAL ABUSE: WHEN THE WIFE IS THE ABUSER0 -
I’ve never been in either side of an argument like that, but if it happened, or any big blow out row, and I get ‘told’ to leave my/our home, my answer is... “NO, this is my home, I’m happy and comfortable here...my name is on the paperwork...if you are uncomfortable yourself with being here, you have options, one of them is for YOU to leave”.
The fûck would I be walking out of a property I own or jointly own, worth xxx,xxx just because somebody is having a raging flounce and throwing toys left right and center....
Red Dead Redemption logic?0 -
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https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/helpline-for-male-domestic-abuse-victims-struggles-to-cope-amid-pandemic-surge-1.4512995Helpline for male domestic abuse victims struggles to cope amid pandemic surge
Calls to Men’s Aid Ireland are being missed amid 35% spike in level of demand
Thu, Mar 18, 2021, 00:00The common thread in calls is an abusive relationship, in 95 per cent of cases involving a wife or female partner.
“Hitting me, kicking me, spitting on me, telling me I’m a useless father, telling me I’m crap, telling me I don’t bring in enough income,” she recounted the calls."Ms Bentley said the organisation sought and was refused funding for a 24/7 helpline from the State’s child and family agency Tusla, which she criticises for allocating 1 per cent of its domestic, sexual and gender based violence (DSGBV) funding to the service"0 -
It would be good if more than a couple of per cent of the budget for domestic abuse services from taxpayers went to male victims.
But it would also be good if more money was raised by fundraising.
I suspect many men might be worried by the reaction they would get if they ran a fundraiser for Men’s Aid Ireland. An alternative option would be to fundraise for two charities, one that supports men and one that supports women. This can be done with some fundraising platforms e.g. donate.ie .
Or alternatively two separate fundraising pages would be set up. This might encourage more men and women to do this. Currently most fundraising is for female victims.
And before you ask I am a trustee and one of the lead volunteers in a charity in a different area so that is my current focus, though I did donate at least once to Men’s Aid Ireland or AMEN as it was once called.
A possibly preferable outcome in the long-term would be if services supported both men and women.0 -
I suspect many men might be worried by the reaction they would get if they ran a fundraiser for Men’s Aid Ireland.
Similar but different for IWD Vs IMD. I think if you're going to have one you should equally have the other (neither would be preferable tbh) but would I put my head up at work to ask can I arrange speakers, cakes, funding for staff treats, a fundraiser, look for stories about inspiring men in our lives etc. probably not. There's a positivity at work about being involved in IWD, I don't think the same would be found if I tried to look for parity.0 -
Helpline for male domestic abuse victims struggles to cope amid pandemic surge
Calls to Men’s Aid Ireland are being missed amid 35% spike in level of demand
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/helpline-for-male-domestic-abuse-victims-struggles-to-cope-amid-pandemic-surge-1.4512995
Fundraiser for Men’s Aid Ireland for Boards members and others
https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=20581711400 -
What is the Freedom Programme?
Freedom Programme is a domestic violence programme which was created by Pat Craven who holds the copyright (all rights reserved) and evolved from her work with perpetrators of domestic violence. We provide information, not therapy.The programme usually lasts for 11 or 12 weeks and is FREE. It provided by hundreds of agencies across the UK. Some of them are rolling so women can join at any time but this varies according to local needs, etc.The Programme was primarily designed for women as victims of domestic violence, since research shows that in the vast majority of cases of serious abuse are male on female. However, the programme, when provided as an intensive two day course, is also suitable for men, whether abusive and wishing to change their attitudes and behaviour or whether victims of same sex domestic abuse themselves.
So as far as I can make out, it is unsuitable for the following groups:
female victims of female perpetrators
&
male victims of female perpetrators
What a surprise.
It's also offered in Ireland, e.g.
https://amberwomensrefuge.ie/the-freedom-programme/0 -
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I hope it's okay to do this.
I thought I would draw attention to this post where a mother threw a knife that went through her husband's cheek, but she concocted a story that he was the one who was violent:
https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=117020830&postcount=408
If you want to discuss that specific incident, best to discuss it on that thread.
Though I imagine a general discussion on the topic would be fine here.0 -
http://www.nuigalway.ie/about-us/news-and-events/news-archive/2021/may/nui-galway-to-launch-first-domestic-violence-leave-policy-in-a-higher-education-institution-in-ireland-1.htmlNUI Galway to Launch First Domestic Violence Leave Policy in a Higher Education Institution in Ireland
UI Galway will launch a Domestic Violence Leave Policy, the first Higher Education Institution to do so in Ireland. The policy will be launched by Minister for Further and Higher Education, Research, Innovation and Science, Simon Harris TD on Wednesday, 26 May.
The purpose of NUI Galway's Domestic Violence Leave Policy is to provide for a period of paid time away from work for staff members who have suffered or are suffering from domestic violence or abuse. This leave will enable the staff member to take the time they need to seek assistance in a structured and supported environment.
Violence be it physical, sexual or emotional abuse by an intimate partner, family member or a child has significant consequences for physical and mental health as well as overall wellbeing. The World Health Organisation has documented the severe health consequences of interpersonal violence including premature death, long-term morbidity, poor mental health, increased risk of substance abuse, and risk with pregnancy outcomes among others.
Less recognised is the impact of domestic violence on the victim’s work. Research by economists in the US, UK and other European countries have established that women who experience domestic violence are at increased risk of absenteeism, more irregular work history, reduced performance at work, limited occupation mobility, dropping out of the labour force and ultimately lower earnings.
Globally there is a growing movement across various jurisdictions that the Equality, Diversity and Inclusion agenda must also address the consequences of domestic violence in addition to workplace harassment and bullying. The International Labour Organisation Convention on Violence and Harassment in the World of Work, to which Ireland is a signatory, explicitly calls for governments and employers to address the risks and impacts of domestic violence in workplace policies.
Higher Education Institutions are not only institutions of learning that contribute to knowledge on deep-rooted social problems such as domestic violence; they are equally places of work committed to creating a safe and respectful working environment that promotes dignity and wellbeing of all members of their communities.
Minister Harris commented: “The impact of domestic violence on victims and their families can be devastating physically and emotionally and their stress can be compounded by the worry of work or not being paid. Support for victims who are working, in the form of paid leave, could be crucial in ensuring that they retain their employment and have the economic capacity to escape an abusive relationship.
“The introduction of the Domestic Violence Leave Policy at NUI Galway marks a critical step forward in ensuring that Higher Education Institutions are safe and supportive workplaces. I really want to commend NUI Galway for this important work and I hope it will be the first of many institutions to adopt such a policy.”
Speaking in advance of the launch, President of NUI Galway, Professor Ciarán Ó hÓgartaigh, said: “NUI Galway is proud to introduce this Domestic Violence Leave Policy, which aligns with our vision and values of respect and excellence of our students and staff as citizens connected to, and contributing to, community and society in Ireland and internationally for the public good.”
New research including that from the Centre for Global Women’s Studies at NUI Galway has quantified the impact of domestic violence on productivity loss with women on average missing 7 to 15 days of work and being less productive for an additional 5 to 10 days. An overwhelming majority of those who experience domestic violence globally are women, with 1 in 3 women reporting a lifetime experience of physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner. In Ireland, the equivalent figure is 1 in 6 (15 per cent of women). More women face emotional violence, and in Ireland, twice as many women experience a lifetime of emotional abuse by a partner (31 percent).
Annually, it is estimated that 50,000 women experience physical and/or sexual violence by a current or former partner and approximately 117,000 experience psychological violence by a current partner. During Covid-19 there has been a sharp increase by nearly 43 per cent in calls to organisations such as Women’s Aid and Safe Ireland.
Dr Nata Duvvury, Director, Centre for Global Women’s Studies at NUI Galway said: “More than 30% of women experience emotional violence in their lifetime by a partner, which affects women’s working lives leading to lower productivity and wellbeing. For example, women experiencing domestic violence miss on average 15 days of productive work on a yearly basis.”
Speakers at the launch will include Minster Harris, Professor Ciarán Ó hÓgartaigh and Dr Nata Duvvury, NUI Galway, Louise O’Reilly, Sinn Fein TD for Dublin Fingal and Sinn Fein Spokesperson on Enterprise, Trade, and Employment, Professor Audra Bowlus, Department of Economics, University of Western Ontario, Canada, Josephine Hynes, HR Director, NUI Galway and Eileen Mannion, Interim Chair Equality, Diversity and Inclusion Committee, Údarás na hOllscoile, NUI Galway.
Read NUI Galway's Domestic Violence Leave Policy is available here. The online launch will take place on Wednesday, 26 May from 1pm-2pm and is open to the public.
To register to attend the launch visit: https://teams.microsoft.com/_#/broadcastPlaybackScreen.
The Office of the Vice-President for Research and Innovation have developed the first in a series of ‘research impact case studies’ modelled on the UK Research Excellence Framework. One of the case studies includes Dr Nata Duvvury on the impact of her work in the area of domestic violence. See: https://www.nuigalway.ie/researchcommunityportal/researchimpact/.
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I don't know what the situation is worldwide, but the most relevant data for Ireland are Irish data, and this would not be a fair representation of the situation here.An overwhelming majority of those who experience domestic violence globally are women0 -
New research including that from the Centre for Global Women’s Studies at NUI Galway has quantified the impact of domestic violence on productivity loss with women on average missing 7 to 15 days of work and being less productive for an additional 5 to 10 days. An overwhelming majority of those who experience domestic violence globally are women, with 1 in 3 women reporting a lifetime experience of physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner. In Ireland, the equivalent figure is 1 in 6 (15 per cent of women). More women face emotional violence, and in Ireland, twice as many women experience a lifetime of emotional abuse by a partner (31 percent).
Interesting that they didn't feel the need to include the statistics on males receiving domestic abuse, or the lack of research into the area.
Women's studies... As if that doesn't carry historical bias... Meh.
Oh, I do think it's a good thing.. if it was balanced. But it's not. Its focused entirely on women, with men being the aggressors. Which means that any application will be skewed, and likely unfair towards men.0 -
When I discuss the above with feminist types they jump on the offensive before I can finish the sentence.
I get great satisfaction in saying, "lets leave straight men out of this for a second..." and proceed to talk about lesbian relationships and domestic violence. Watch the wires in their head cause them to twitch. Then talk about homosexual male relationships etc (this one usually results in "yea but thats men" etc therefore it doesn't matter)0 -
Deleted User wrote: »Interesting that they didn't feel the need to include the statistics on males receiving domestic abuse, or the lack of research into the area.
Women's studies... As if that doesn't carry historical bias... Meh.
Oh, I do think it's a good thing.. if it was balanced. But it's not. Its focused entirely on women, with men being the aggressors. Which means that any application will be skewed, and likely unfair towards men.
If you ignore the poorly written article and cherry picked stats, the policy at least is a good idea and balanced.0 -
http://www.nuigalway.ie/about-us/news-and-events/news-archive/2021/may/nui-galway-to-launch-first-domestic-violence-leave-policy-in-a-higher-education-institution-in-ireland-1.html
I don't know what the situation is worldwide, but the most relevant data for Ireland are Irish data, and this would not be a fair representation of the situation here.
https://twitter.com/ResearchatNUIG/status/1397538014943879172
It's a bit disappointing that they're partnering this scheme with this Women's Studies lecturer.Dr Nata Duvvury, Director, Centre for Global Women’s Studies at NUI Galway0 -
https://kildare-nationalist.ie/2021/06/17/kildare-senator-calls-for-a-domestic-abuse-shelter-for-men/KILDARE SENATOR CALLS FOR A DOMESTIC ABUSE SHELTER FOR MEN0 -
No mention of male victims in this Irish Times article:Pandemic has had ‘unprecedented’ impact on victims of domestic abuse
Women’s Aid highlights 43% increase in contacts with its services
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/pandemic-has-had-unprecedented-impact-on-victims-of-domestic-abuse-1.4599570The report says the family law system was “failing to adequately protect children and their mothers when considering custody and access arrangements”.
It is critical that longer-term reforms are introduced with a view to building a “victim-centred family law system that prioritises the safety of women and children subjected to abuse”, it states.
---“Behind each ‘statistic’ we talk about are women we know. Women in our families, in our circle of friends, in our workplaces and at the school gates. Women who are trying to protect and keep safe themselves and their children in the face of unrelenting and devastating abuse.”
The abuse of women and children post-separation from their partners was of particular concern for Women’s Aid, and it was the time when women were at heightened risk.0 -
Stats show someone you know must be affected by a violent partner or parent
By refusing to accept that violence against women is not just a problem but an epidemic — we are complicit, writes Louise O’Neill
https://www.irishexaminer.com/opinion/columnists/arid-20433252.html
I'm not a big fan of Louise O'Neill (I find her biased among other things) so don't feel inclined to read this at the moment.0 -
Sounds like the opposite of a happy marriage!
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/man-refused-to-call-ambulance-for-wife-who-was-having-heart-attacks-court-told-1.4600539Man refused to call ambulance for wife who was having heart attacks, court told
Judge grants Protection Orders to man and woman who have been married for 40 years“He drinks heavily, shouts at me and calls me nasty names,” the woman told the judge. “He knows all my movements and where I have been. I am afraid of him.”
Judge Larkin granted the woman the protection order and also granted the husband a protection order after he alleged that his wife hit him with a frying pan.
He said of his wife: “She told lies about me. She said I was abusive and roaring and shouting at her and that I was drinking. She is constantly roaring and shouting at me.”0 -
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By refusing to accept that violence against women is not just a problem but an epidemic
I mean ffs! Try being a male victim in todays society and you will know all about refusing to accept violence!! Now thats an epidemic!0 -
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/garda%C3%AD-criticised-by-policing-authority-over-cancellation-of-999-calls-1.4602474Gardaí criticised by Policing Authority over cancellation of 999 calls
Some 3,000 domestic violence calls cancelled with no Garda response for some callers
I'm a bit confused about what exactly happened. At one point, it suggests that some of the issue is a technical "botch" but then later it suggests something a bit different.In some cases when domestic violence victims called 999 they received no response and their calls were cancelled without reason. In other cases, Garda personnel were dispatched to, and arrived at, the home of the caller seeking emergency help. But when a record of the incident was later made on the Garda’s system, that recording process was botched and the call was classified as “cancelled”.The internal Garda investigation into the matter has also found that in some cases, when gardaí called to domestic violence victims’ homes, they failed to follow procedures for dealing with such cases. They did not make further checks, either phone calls or visits, to the victim in the days that followed.
Garda sources said any member of the force who did not follow procedures could be disciplined. And any personnel, civilians or sworn members of the force, found to have cancelled calls without a good reason could also face disciplinary action.0 -
More on this story
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/garda-commissioner-apologises-to-domestic-violence-victims-whose-999-calls-were-cancelled-1.4602571Garda Commissioner apologises to domestic violence victims whose 999 calls were cancelled
Women’s Aid says controversy over Garda emergency calls ‘extremely troubling’
Apart from the reference to Women's Aid, I noticed just one mention of a specific gender in the article based on a quick skim:A large number of domestic violence victims - including vulnerable women and some children - whose calls were not dealt with properly, or at all, reached out for emergency help during periods of strict lock-down last year.0 -
More on this story
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/garda-commissioner-apologises-to-domestic-violence-victims-whose-999-calls-were-cancelled-1.4602571
Apart from the reference to Women's Aid, I noticed just one mention of a specific gender in the article based on a quick skim:
I noticed that the Virgin Media 8pm news gave numbers for the Samaratins and Women's Aid at the end of the piece but gave no mention of any men's support groups.
The lack of acknowledgement of male victims of domestic violence helps perpetuate the lack of recognition of the problem and continues to make it more difficult for men to look for support because it fails to recognise their existence, the need for support organisation(s) and the need to properly resource those support organisation(s).0 -
A 70-year-old Dublin woman accused of breaking a protection order has been granted bail with a warning she must not put a frightened family member in fear.
The woman, who cannot be identified due to reporting restrictions, appeared before Judge Cephas Power at a weekend sitting of Dublin District Court after she was arrested under the Domestic Violence Act.
The pensioner had been served a protection order on July 21 in which she had been directed not to use or threaten to use violence, or to abuse the man, the court heard.
However, she was arrested at the weekend for breaking the terms of protection order. The judge heard the complainant was “put in fear” and he called gardaí.
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Domestic violence: ‘You don’t know what you are facing when that call comes in’
Families in peril need safe, independent living units, Monaghan-based service Tearmann says
According to official Garda statistics the number of reports of domestic abuse by women in Cavan-Monaghan in 2019 was 224, while there were 55 reports from men.
Note there is some evidence that men may be less inclined to ring the police.
Just one other mention of men in this article:
"While the physical violence is a sickening reminder of why women, and sometimes men, need a safe place to go,"
There was some other gender neutral language such as "families".
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Dear Mary: My ex-girlfriend’s anger towards me may have been abuse, so should I get back together with her?
I became concerned when we had arguments very often, which became very stressful, and in which I began to feel nervous about her behaviour.
On one significant occasion, during an argument, she grabbed my hand and twisted my thumb so that it sprained; on another occasion, while she did not do anything, I felt that she was going to scratch my face if I did not give her the right answer to a loaded question she had asked.
Although it was many years ago, I can still recall a male client who was attending on his own for help with his relationship, and his sense of shame as he showed me his glasses that his wife had broken in a fit of anger. He felt shame because, he said, he had somehow failed her — that was his reasoning for why she broke his glasses.
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Using UK data
The Great Covid Domestic Abuse Epidemic That Never Was
Conclusions
- The police recorded data on numbers of reported incidents classified as DV have been trending up across almost all police forces for at least a decade.
- This contrasts with CSEW [Crime Survey for England and Wales] data on numbers of DV victims which has not been trending up, but either trending down or roughly static.
- A larger number of police recorded DV incidents in 2020 compared with 2019 cannot be taken as indicative of a Covid lockdown effect as it was expected, without Covid, based on current trends.
- Instead the issue of whether 2020 brought an unexpectedly large volume of DV incidents must be explored by measuring any exceedance of reported incidents from that expected based on trends. This measure is provided here by the defined Index of Change.
- More police forces reported data which indicated that the volume of incidents in 2020 was less than expected based on trends than the number of forces reporting greater volumes than expected. This suggests there was no significant “Covid lockdown” enhancement of DV prevalence in 2020 across England and Wales as a whole.
- Based on summing incidents across the 32 police forces responding to my FOI, the overall Index of Change for women victims was negative (-2.3%) whilst for male victims it was positive (+3.8%). These are only small deviations from expectation, but if there is a “Covid lockdown” enhancement of DV across England and Wales as a whole it applies only to male victims.
- Some police force areas do have positive Index of Change, indicating possible local lockdown effects (though I have no evidence that lockdowns are the cause of any enhancement). Of these the West Midlands is by far the most significant, with a 33% excess of incidents involving male victims and an excess of 22% for female victims.
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I notice that this article, "At least 21 serving gardaí have had barring orders issued against them" https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-40722528.html , which doesn't mention gender is classified under "violence against women".
#VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN PLACE: IRELAND PERSON: DREW HARRIS ORGANISATION: AN GARDA SIOCHANAORGANISATION: POLICING AUTHORITYORGANISATION: IRISH EXAMINER
Also interesting the paper has a category for "violence against women". No sign of it being categorised as under "violence against men".
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‘I am beginning to feel trapped and controlled by my partner’
She orders my food, tells me what to wear and constantly checks my phone
The response from the therapist/agony aunt starts as follows:
It does seem as though your partner has an issue with insecurity, and this often manifests as controlling behaviour. It is easy to understand why this insecurity has grown recently as it is only now that she has had to share you with the world and it seems lockdown provided you with a safe environment of only two people and this did not threaten her.
It continues along a similar vein.
There is probably a lot of truth to what she says but it does seem to contrast with how men are talked about if they are controlling.
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