"Man Up" campaign by SafeIreland
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What can happen when a biased view of domestic violence is promoted.
And, in particular, if police are trained by biased material (as I believe could happen in Ireland e.g. I've read in the past that Women's Aid can train the Gardai here), it increases the chances of something like this happening where the victim is the person attacked by the police.
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CHICAGO (WLS) -- Body camera footage was released of the deadly police shooting of Michael Craig, a Gresham man who family members say was a domestic violence victim.
https://abc7chicago.com/michael-craig-shooting-bodycam-video-chicago-police/11195538/
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Building Custodian Michael Craig Called 911 Saying Wife Had Knife To His Throat, But Craig Was The One Shot And Killed By Police
https://chicago.cbslocal.com/2021/11/03/copa-police-shooting-michael-craig-auburn-gresham/
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More than 2500 hair salons around Ireland have joined a new initiative to detect signs of domestic abuse among clients and follow up with assistance and support. The partnership between Women’s Aid and the Hair and Beauty Industry Confederation (HABIC) will see staff trained on how to identify domestic abuse among clients and offer help. It also aims to educate both customers and employees on the prevalence, nature of domestic abuse and support pathways that are available.
Skimming the article, it only highlights female victims and presumably the campaign will do something similar.
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I can't help but see the connection between the above post and the one just before it.
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Domestic abuse and coercive control: Are men inherently violent and misogynistic?
Richard Hogan looks at domestic abuse and the dangers of coercive control
https://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/people/arid-40745412.html
As one person commented on Twitter:
Write that headline about any sub-group and and it would be clearly racist etc. And then it’s not backed up with data (and I’m sure there’s plenty out there), just anecdotes. One day it will be seen as embarrassing.
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'Extremely limited' housing options mean domestic abuse victims are 'hidden homeless'
People leaving an abusive household can experience "hidden homelessness", with many left to cope independently in the absence of adequate financial means to find a solution.
A new report for Focus Ireland also found that children who leave an abusive home can have unmet needs and that there were "numerous" barriers of access to domestic violence services, including capacity issues.*
The research project, conducted by Dr Paula Mayock and Fiona Neary, began in April 2019 and includes findings from February of this year. It involved more than 120 participants, including 17 parents as well as local authority personnel and focus groups working in the domestic violence and homeless service sectors.
https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-40760217.html
*My comment: Or no accommodation services at all for male victims
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From the full report:
"Coercive control is highly gendered, with women the victims and men almost exclusively the perpetrators (Stark, 2007)."
Stark, E. (2007) Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
I'm not convinced
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Pope Francis condemns domestic abuse as 'almost satanic'
but only against women it seems 🙁
Pope Francis has condemned domestic violence against women as "almost satanic", in some of his strongest language yet on the issue.
The head of the Catholic Church made the remark during a programme broadcast on Italy's TG5 network on Sunday.
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Great to see this article in the Irish Independent yesterday. Unfortunately, it is behind a paywall.
‘We’ve had calls from men who have suffered 50 years of domestic abuse. They can’t start a second home’
Around one in seven men in Ireland have been subjected to domestic violence, with very few reporting it to the Gardaí or confiding in others. We look at why the level of reporting is so low, and ask why there is no refuge for male victims of domestic abuse and their children
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Great to see this article in the Irish Independent yesterday. Unfortunately, it is behind a paywall.
‘We’ve had calls from men who have suffered 50 years of domestic abuse. They can’t start a second home’
Around one in seven men in Ireland have been subjected to domestic violence, with very few reporting it to the Gardaí or confiding in others. We look at why the level of reporting is so low, and ask why there is no refuge for male victims of domestic abuse and their children
Some extracts:
But there is a lack of recognition of male victims of domestic abuse at a government level. There is simply not enough money, regardless of gender, being put into the whole area. “We receive 1pc of the €26 million national budget. We don’t want a bigger cut of the pie, we want a bigger pie,” says Bentley.
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And yet there are no wrap around services provided by the state. No social workers to help them with their social welfare, housing issues, the gardaí or even counselling for children if their mother is the aggressor.
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He says: “It was happening so slowly I didn’t see it. It started off as breaking cutlery, throwing stuff on the ground or in my general direction. After a while she was throwing them at me.”
James was working nights to pay the mortgage. “While I was in work she’d cut up my clothes or throw water in the bed so I couldn’t get to sleep. Or she’d slash my tires so I couldn’t go to work. Eventually she stabbed me.”
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“I got a protection order. After that, you are given a date by the court for a safety order. But she went tit for tat, and we were both granted it, even though she had no evidence and I had both police and hospital records. That’s when the guards told me I had to be really careful. It ended up just putting me in more danger. I then moved out.”
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Bentley says: “There is no consistency with judges in terms of their ruling. They haven’t done training to be able to understand the dynamics of domestic violence. Safety orders are not enforced and men must have a higher burden of proof. It is also much more difficult for men to obtain protection and safety orders when experiencing emotional and mental abuse.”
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Again, no mention of male victims:
Violence against women insults God, Pope says in New Year’s message
Francis appears in good form at St Peter’s Basilica for church’s World Day of Peace
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Francis wove his New Year’s homily around the themes of motherhood and women – saying it was they who kept together the threads of life – and used it to make one of his strongest calls yet for an end to violence against them.
“And since mothers bestow life, and women keep the world (together), let us all make greater efforts to promote mothers and to protect women,” Francis said.
“How much violence is directed against women! Enough! To hurt a woman is to insult God, who from a woman took on our humanity – not through an angel, not directly, but through a woman,” he said, in a reference to Jesus’s mother Mary.
During an Italian television programme last month, Francis told a woman who had been beaten by her ex-husband that men who commit violence against women engage in something that is “almost satanic”
Since the Covid pandemic began nearly two years ago, Francis has several times spoken out against domestic violence, which has increased in many countries since lockdowns left many women trapped with their abusers.
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https://www.rte.ie/news/2022/0102/1269512-mens-aid/
Men's Aid has reported a 30% increase in demand on its domestic violence support services in 2021 compared to 2020.
The charity has reported disclosures of female partners biting, scratching, kicking, slapping and stabbing and men attending appointments with visible bruises, black eyes and stitches.
It also reports daily disclosures of coercive controlling behaviours; invisible abuse that family, neighbours, and work colleagues cannot see.
Emotional, psychological, verbal, and mental abuse were reported as the most harming and difficult to heal from, Men's Aid said.
The service says that even if legal orders are in place such as safety, protection or barring orders, there are no consequences for breaches, as judges have not to date put a female in prison for domestic violence / coercive control crimes.
Men ranging in age from 18 to 88 used the service in 2021, from all backgrounds, Men's Aid said.
It supported men of 25 nationalities in the first quarter of 2021.
Helplines to help you this Christmas
Men's Aid also said there was an increase of over 100% on child protection referrals to Tusla during 2021 compared to 2020.
Kathrina Bentley, CEO of Men's Aid, said despite the prevalence of violence against men in Ireland, they were very disappointed that no refuge accommodation was available to men, for fathers and children to flee abusive homes this Christmas.
"We are awaiting the final draft of the Accommodation Review and are hopeful it makes invisible men visible.
"We are also waiting on the third National Strategy document which is due out in March by the Department of Justice. This strategy will be addressing domestic violence for the next five years, including funding allocation, and it is imperative that it reflects reality with an equality, inclusion, victim centric approach," she said.
Men's Aid said on Wednesday this week, its first full day open since Christmas Eve, it had 17 calls to its helpline, and made one child protection referral to Tusla.
"We are heading into a difficult few weeks when we usually see an increase in men struggling with their mental health due to an abusive partner, family violence during Christmas," Ms Bentley added,
"To date our funding is less than 1% of the approx. €30m funding for women services, it's not about taking funding from women’s services who need more, but increasing the funding to be equal so we can respond with adequate service provisions."
Men's Aid Ireland
Supporting men experiencing domestic violence
01 554 3811
www.mensaid.ie
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Men's Aid received 8,000 contacts last year — and 94% of their abusers were women
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Trinity, UCC, UCD and DCU to introduce paid domestic violence leave in 2022
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Mr Harris warned that domestic violence remains “a pervasive problem in our society”, noting that cases had increased significantly during the pandemic.
“Figures for 2020, show that the Gardaí received some 43,000 calls to respond to domestic abuse incidents, a 16 per cent increase on 2019,” he wrote.
“Nearly 15 per cent of women between the ages of 18-74 have experienced physical and sexual violence in their lifetime, and nearly 31% have experienced psychological violence,” he added.
“While the risk to women is higher, domestic abuse also affects a significant number of men.”
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Domestic abuse funding
UK
Women £500+m
Men £0.5m
Scotland
Women £12.6m
Men £12.6k
Can you see it?
https://twitter.com/LizArch17512994/status/1464290198876004355?s=20
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Hi Antoinette,
We created a bespoke module for AGS with the help of Karl Heller’s experience. For AGS to learn about recognising responding referring a male victim. Unfortunately no one has reached out to us just yet to start introducing this new online/in person module #Training
https://twitter.com/katebentleykb/status/1480099306304638979?s=20
Chief Executive @mensaidireland
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Great to see another good article on Independent.ie male victims of domestic violence and this time it's not behind a paywall:
‘I was so terrified of my abusive ex,’ says husband thrown out of home
One-third of victims of domestic violence are male, yet they receive only 1pc of the budget allocated to the issue
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‘Real men don't hit women’ – Gardaí confront man who allegedly hit a woman on Dame Street in Dublin
I wonder would he have talked to a woman who had/appeared to have hit a man, like that?
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New refuges to be opened as part of government plan to tackle domestic violence
There are nine counties that still do not have refuges for women and children
No sign of any refuges for men. So much for any sort of effort to have equal access to services based on gender.
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Fifth of young women feel they have no control over their money
https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-40800075.html
Training by Women’s Aid is currently being rolled out across the banks, focusing on recognising and responding to customers who may be subject to financial abuse and coercive control, the BPFI said.
I wonder whether this training is gender neutral? Parts of the rest of the article suggest that my not be the case:
According to Women's Aid, coercive control is a "persistent pattern of controlling, coercive, and threatening behaviour, including all or some forms of domestic abuse".
The abuse can be emotional, physical, financial, or sexual, including threats by a boyfriend, partner, husband, or ex. It traps women in a relationship and makes it impossible or dangerous to leave, Women's Aid says.
Women's Aid also stated that financial abuse is a "form of domestic violence in which the abuser uses money as a means of controlling his partner".
It is a tactic that an abuser uses to gain power and dominance over his partner and is designed to isolate a woman into a state of complete financial dependence, the organisation says.
Can anyone find this report
The press release seems quite biased only focusing on young women, even though they don't seem to be doing the worst in every category:
The key findings from the research, carried out by Amárach, show:
One in five (22%) younger women (18-34 years old) said they did not have control over their financial affairs – twice the proportion for all respondents (11%)
41% of younger women reported finding it difficult to manage money, compared with 29% overall
36% of younger women said they found it difficult to collect money owed to them, compared with 23% overall
Almost one-third (31%) of younger women said they had relied on help from others and almost half of those were being helped at the time of the survey. This compared to 21% and 25% across all respondents respectively.
Despite emerging as a cohort experiencing difficulty in managing their finances, younger women are less likely to be concerned that someone might take advantage of them financially, with only 17% expressing concern compared with 27% overall.
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Same research, another article, mentions:
But men had more anxiety about financial exploitation, with 30pc saying they were concerned someone would take advantage of them financially compared to 23pc of women.
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‘I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread’ – ex-partner of abusive Fair City actor speaks out in RTÉ special on domestic abuse
Offaly is one of nine counties that has no refuge.
“The midlands seem to be this black hole – we seem to be getting the scraps from the table,” Offaly Domestic Support Services manager Anne Clarke tells RTÉ Investigates.
“Coercive control is extremely common for a male victim. If you are a man in this country, you have zero options for a refuge, there is nowhere to go.”
“Some services do help, and support men, but there are very few. Women predominantly remain the highest ratio as domestic abuse victims, and that is why the services are directed more for women.
“Our service is different, we support male victims as well, percentage wise 25pc of our clients would be male.”
International figures indicate one in nine men have experienced abuse from their partner.
RTÉ Investigates spoke with a male victim, who took his case through the courts.
“It is something that just crept up on me and I didn’t realise I was in that situation until the day I called a halt to it,” Peter (not his real name) said.
“I realised things were not normal. My goodness today I can look back and say no, things were not normal. It is not normal to not have control of your money, it’s not normal to be put down, it’s not normal to have things thrown at you, to be slapped. You are treated like, nearly like a dog.
“I did not see it until the end. You cannot help a person like that. You have to run, I should have run years ago. The warning signs were there. Who do you turn to? Who is going to believe you? And if you even tell someone, are they going to believe you?”
RTÉ Investigates - Domestic Abuse, A Year Of Crisis, this Monday, February 7 at 9.35pm on RTÉ One and RTE Player
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‘We talk a lot about women not being safe outside – but for so many, being at home is the most dangerous place’
Ann, originally from Kells in Co Meath but now living in Berlin, has created the graphics that illustrate the harrowing testimonials of abuse victims on this evening’s episode of RTÉ Investigates Domestic Abuse, A Year in Crisis. (RTÉ One, 9.35pm)
In preparation, the production team sent Ann over audio recordings of survivors’ accounts. The clips were disturbing and resonated with her at a profound level.
She only seems to talk about drawing women, which suggests nearly all the survivors on the programme were female.
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Here is how RTE themselves describe it. Looks very imbalanced though I haven't read the article.
Domestic abuse in Ireland - a year in crisis
RTÉ Investigates spent time in a number of women's refuges across the country, hearing stories of women who had suffered domestic abuse.
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Woman put coins in husband’s food during ‘appalling’ marriage breakdown
Child’s welfare in jeopardy, says judge, due to ‘vile’ behaviour of couple forced to live together
At the Family Law Court, the man said that he was “at the end of my tether” after his former partner at one stage put coins from their daughter’s piggy bank into his pasta and on other days threw rubbish onto his food and threw his “settling” steak on the floor.
The woman admitted to putting coins in the pasta but did not recall throwing the steak on the floor.
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Well they couldn't spend any time in any men's domestic violence refuges because there aren't any.
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State's response to domestic and sexual violence to be overseen by new agency
Sexual and gender-based offences also to fall under remit of proposed new statutory body
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Functions of the new agency, while yet to be fully determined, will include the delivery of services to victims of DSGBV, as well as providing helplines and other support, coordinating government action, and gathering data to inform future policy and awareness campaigns. The new agency will answer to the Minister for Justice and follow policy direction they set.
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Irishwoman jailed in Australia for killing her fiancé is to be freed and deported this week
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The fatal incident occurred when Mr Walsh launched an unprovoked attack on a man who had been invited back to their house in Padstow, Sydney, by Cahill and two other female housemates after they met him at a pub.
Cahill, who had also been drinking, tried to stop the attack, then took out a large, very sharp knife from the cutlery drawer and stabbed him.
Police and paramedics were called, but he was pronounced dead at the scene.
At the time she had been on a good behaviour bond after she was convicted of recklessly wounding him with a glass candle holder in 2015.
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#BAMS4NI (Boys And Men Strategy for Northern Ireland) is a campaign in Northern Ireland to try to get a specific strategy for domestic abuse of boys and men in Northern Ireland.
More information here:
and here:
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Most attacks on women carried out by partners, Garda statistics show
Experience of violence very different for men and women, according to data
“It’s quite different for men in that the ‘blood relative’ is still a factor, there is familial violence. But the overwhelming set of cases
for men is where the offender is unknown to them; that unexpected attack or violence.”
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Female victims were “almost exclusively” attacked by partners, former
partners or other family members. However, the vast majority of males
who fell victim to attack were assaulted by people who were not known
to them, Mr O’Sullivan said.
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This was posted to a group I'm on. I've only just realised from 2011 but still interesting enough.
Pioneering Domestic Violence Advocate Who Refused to Discriminate Leaves Lasting Legacy
NEWS PROVIDED BY
Aug 15, 2011, 07:35 ET
TORRANCE, Calif., Aug. 15, 2011 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- She changed the lives of thousands, perhaps millions, but few know her name. Patricia Shanley Overberg, MSW, died of heart failure in Torrance, California, on August 11, 2011, with her children at her side. Overberg, a native of Providence, Rhode Island, was 77.
With the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) due for reauthorization this year, Overberg's views on discrimination are particularly timely. Trained in an era before most social work programs adopted the philosophy that all domestic violence is rooted in patriarchy, she believed that family violence needs to be viewed holistically. Her commitment to the principle of equal treatment for all informed everything she did.
Although most VAWA-funded battered women's shelters force mothers of boys over age 12 to place their sons in foster care or be denied entrance, Overberg refused to require mothers to choose between their own safety and their children's well-being.
When male victims, whether on their own or with their children, sought help, she didn't turn them away. Overberg was director of the Valley Oasis Shelter in Lancaster, Calif. from 1989 through 1998. During that time, Valley Oasis was the only shelter in the U.S. that men needing help could turn to. Even today Valley Oasis remains one of the very few shelters in the U.S. that offers the same level of services to male as to female victims.
Overberg treated gay men and lesbians with the same respect and level of service accorded to everyone she helped. She pioneered in bringing a transgendered volunteer on board at Valley Oasis.
Erin Pizzey, founder of the first modern battered women's shelter, says: "Pat was a brave, honest and courageous woman. She faced persecution from her colleagues in the domestic violence field and fought back. All of us who work at the coal face of human relationships owe Pat a great deal."
Because of Overberg's principled refusal to discriminate based on sex or sexual orientation, many of her peers treated her as a pariah. In a 2002 sworn deposition, Overberg testified that she "was subjected to continuous abuse by other shelter directors for sheltering battered men." (http://www.ncfmla.org/pdf/overberg.pdf)
Undaunted, Overberg encouraged the National Coalition for Men (NCFM) to bring suit to end the discrimination against male victims of abuse and their children. Helped by Overberg's testimony, NCFM won a landmark ruling that held it is unconstitutional for California to exclude male victims from state-funded domestic violence services. (David Woods v. Horton (2008) 167 Cal.App.4th 658, http://law.justia.com/cases/california/court-of-appeal/2008/c056072.) The effects of this ruling are far-reaching. All states are now on notice that equal protection clauses in constitutions mean what they say. State funds cannot be used to support agencies that discriminate on the basis of gender.
Overberg's legacy lives on for all victims of domestic violence and in efforts to provide equal access to services for people everywhere.
RADAR (http://www.mediaradar.org) & NCFM (http://www.ncfmla.org)
SOURCE RADAR & NCFM
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Pay-walled article that's well worth checking out:
‘When men contact us, the first thing they’ll talk about is the constant, day-after-day putdowns’
Andrea McDermott is the social care manager for Men’s Aid Ireland and says there has been a surge in the number of male domestic abuse victims seeking support over the last 18 months
A few extracts:
When men get in contact with us, the first thing they’ll usually talk about is the mental torture and the constant, day-after-day putdowns — ‘You’re useless, look at the size of you, who’d want you?’
When I ask if there is violence in the relationship, they will generally say no. But then, as we get to the end of the call, they might say, ‘Well, she throws things at me every now and again’ or ‘There’s been a few slaps but I’m okay with that’.
They don’t see the violence as significantly as when I’m working with a woman who is being abused. The first thing she will talk about is the violence, whereas it’s the last thing a man will talk about.
And men will usually play it down and make excuses for their partner’s behaviour. They’ll say, ‘It’s not her fault, she grew up in an abusive household’. Or if she comes from a different country, they’ll say, ‘It’s her culture, she doesn’t mean to do it’.
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There tends to be more violence, sexual abuse and murder when the perpetrator is male, while female perpetrators are more inclined to use coercive control and make false allegations. They say things like, ‘If you don’t do as I say, I’ll tell everyone you’re the abuser. I’ll go to court and get a domestic abuse order and they’ll believe me because I’m the woman’. Or they’ll say, ‘If you leave, you’ll never see the children again’. Some men feel like they can’t leave the relationship because she has threatened suicide.
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