I stood up to my boss but now I feel bad! :(

LegacyUser

To cut a very long story short, I moved job 5 months ago - within the same organisation but a different unit at a higher level.
Every one told me at the time that I was crazy - that my new boss is impossible to work for and I'd be totally stressed out, but I stupidly thought I was different to everyone else and that I would be able to handle her. I'm not! There have been many staff in and out of here over the years - two of whom have ended up with serious mental health issues - one has been hospitalised in the past.

So last week I had my performance review and I told her I'm unhappy and I didn't want to stay here. I didn't make it personal but I was clear that I was unhappy. She asked me to think about how I could change things and meet again yesterday.

In the meantime my previous boss asked me if I was happy - I said no and told her the whole story. She is really unhappy with the person who replaced me so she has asked me to come back. She can rejuggle some headcount and keep me at the higher level. She will still have my replacement for routine jobs but wants me to get involved in the bigger projects. It means I will still have contact with my current boss and will still have to do some work for her but I won't report to her and I won't be in the same building.

I met my current boss again yesterday and the conversation was a bit more personal and heated. I told her that I felt constantly criticised by her and that nothing I do is ever enough. I told her that I felt I had no support and everything was expected of me depsite only having walked through the doors 5 months ago.
She put it all back on me and said I'm too accommodating, that I always feel I have to have the answer and that she has nobody else to support her! She said we have a communication problem and we need to be clear about what we agree on when we speak!
I walked away thinking that maybe she is right and we could work it out - and now I feel really guilty. But my husband said she has just manipulated me to feel like that - to feel that I'm the one in the wrong.

Anyway, I'm going to see HR today to find out my options but I want to go back to my old boss. We always got on great - I got involved in really interesting stuff and I really enjoyed working for her.

I have never had any issues with any previous job or boss, whereas my current boss has had countless issues - surely this says that she is the one in the wrong? Has anyone had similar issues and gone back to a previous boss - and did it work out? My head is a mess.

boobar

WantToGoBack wrote: »

To cut a very long story short, I moved job 5 months ago - within the same organisation but a different unit at a higher level.
Every one told me at the time that I was crazy - that my new boss is impossible to work for and I'd be totally stressed out, but I stupidly thought I was different to everyone else and that I would be able to handle her. I'm not! There have been many staff in and out of here over the years - two of whom have ended up with serious mental health issues - one has been hospitalised in the past.

So last week I had my performance review and I told her I'm unhappy and I didn't want to stay here. I didn't make it personal but I was clear that I was unhappy. She asked me to think about how I could change things and meet again yesterday.

In the meantime my previous boss asked me if I was happy - I said no and told her the whole story. She is really unhappy with the person who replaced me so she has asked me to come back. She can rejuggle some headcount and keep me at the higher level. She will still have my replacement for routine jobs but wants me to get involved in the bigger projects. It means I will still have contact with my current boss and will still have to do some work for her but I won't report to her and I won't be in the same building.

I met my current boss again yesterday and the conversation was a bit more personal and heated. I told her that I felt constantly criticised by her and that nothing I do is ever enough. I told her that I felt I had no support and everything was expected of me depsite only having walked through the doors 5 months ago.
She put it all back on me and said I'm too accommodating, that I always feel I have to have the answer and that she has nobody else to support her! She said we have a communication problem and we need to be clear about what we agree on when we speak!
I walked away thinking that maybe she is right and we could work it out - and now I feel really guilty. But my husband said she has just manipulated me to feel like that - to feel that I'm the one in the wrong.

Anyway, I'm going to see HR today to find out my options but I want to go back to my old boss. We always got on great - I got involved in really interesting stuff and I really enjoyed working for her.

I have never had any issues with any previous job or boss, whereas my current boss has had countless issues - surely this says that she is the one in the wrong? Has anyone had similar issues and gone back to a previous boss - and did it work out? My head is a mess.

This is a no brainer in my view.

You're unhappy in your current job with your current boss.

You got on well with your old boss and she wants you back.

You get to keep the pay rise you got.

Go back to your old boss.

Oryx

If the word was that your new boss is impossible, and prior to her you did not have any issues, then it is her, not you, that is the problem. Put down your guilt, it doesnt belong to you.

Good luck in your move back to your old boss, it is totally the right thing to do.

Eoin

It could well be your boss and not you, but it does sound like you probably could have worded your issues in a way that would have come across in a less personal way -especially if this is the type of person who is likely to be on the defensive.

Anyway, just concentrate on getting your old job back.