struggling in college

e5merelda

hi,

i'm a second year in college and i'm really finding it hard this year, especially with my attendance (i've missed so many lectures and seminars already). i seem to have lost the little motivation i had last year (i only scraped by), i've become so lazy. i do love my course and i do find it interesting it's just i can't seem to make myself care enough to do the work, i don't know, this sounds so petty i just don't know who to turn to for help/advice here. i don't really know what to do

any advice would be really appreciated.

LegacyUser

Get yourself to either the Students' Union Welfare officer, Councellor or the College's own Counsellor. They have heard it all before, you are not going to shock them. These people are trained to be sympathetic and will definitely help you.
You're not the first and you're not the only one.

Santa Cruz

In second year the commitment required often moves up a good bit probably to make participants start getting serious about the course after the introductory first year. Certainly contact counsellors but the bottom line is that the responsibility to get back on track rests with you. You know what is required. Get a bit of discipline in to your life before it's too late.

Stavro Mueller

Do you have any friends you could confide in? Ones who'll check in with you and make sure you come to class? Or that you can sit beside in the library? You don't need anyone to tell you that you badly need to pull up your socks and pull this out of the fire before it's too late.

sadie9

I would also advise seeing the Student Counsellor to talk about your motivation issues. Sometimes some underlying anxiety, worries about the future, etc can prevent us from really engaging in situations that our minds might see as risky. Such as 'if I try to do this essay I'll probably do badly so I'll find loads of other stuff to do instead without starting it, without really acknowledging to myself that I'm procrastinating for a reason'. Is there a lecturer you feel you could approach for a chat? Are you assigned like one lecturer who is your Mentor for the year? The closer contact you can have with the college staff/the work the more you will be motivated. The further you physically and emotionally distance yourself the less motivated you will be. Also seek out study groups. All these things will support you in your efforts and you won't feel so distant. There are loads of options, you just need help to see them. For example if you are worried about your capabilities, you can ask a lecturer to look over a draft of your work before you submit it. You can ask for extra support on your course - like for some subject you could even ask to see the lecturer for 15mins each week to make sure you understand the assignments. People would be only too happy to provide that support if you show willingness to engage with the work.
All humans try to avoid painful experiences either physically or emotionally or painful thoughts and all sorts of stuff. So our bodies and minds make up a lot of 'reasons' and excuses for not doing things. So the true reason can be very cleverly disguised. Our mind is constantly trying to keep us safe, so sometimes it chooses the 'it's better to just do nothing' strategy. A good strategy if you are hiding behind a tree from an angry bear, but not if you are trying to get on and get through the college course! Yes engaging in the work and going to lectures is 'painful' but not as painful as finding yourself miserable and disengaged from your college work, and finding things getting on top of you.
If you could take a look at your values in life and what sort of a person you want to be, then try to connect your current activities with your long term values (eg. I want to be a person who has a fulfilling and satisfying career, I want to work in the public service to help others, I want to feel like a fulfilled human being etc. ). It is tough. You have a procrastination problem which a lot of people have. So seek support to help you with it.
Do things without 'thoughting' your way out of doing it. So do first, sit and analyse later. The other thing we do then self-bullying when we don't do something. Another unhelpful strategy, we give out to ourselves when we most need ourself's support!
The mistake all of us make is waiting until we 'feel' like doing something. Oh I'll go for a walk if I 'feel' like it. Think about 'willingness' and what that word means. It is willingness to take some small risks. if you can open the door to willingness you will suddenly find things get a lot easier. So if someone said to you 'if I help you would you be willing to give this essay a try?' Try to take that approach with yourself.
It is hard to see the wood from the trees especially when we are young and college life seems very unrelated to things in the future. So a good first step could be making an appointment to see the student counsellor. good luck with it.

superman28

I think everyone is being soft on you... and you know what the problem is.. you are lazy and unappreciative..

Your grandparents would have killed to have the opportunites you have in Ireland in terms of college.. Even in the US only the privilaged or very talented get to go to college..

I think its time to grow up, you are supposed to be an adult,, I would love to be back in college instead of working 9am-6pm 5 days a week. You said you like the course,, so what's the problem,, be harder on yourself,, push yourself.. enjoy it,, but work hard, it's not supposed to be easy..

I suggest setting your alarm at the same time every day and gettting up and dressed and head into college at the same time,, regardless of when your lectures start.. this routine will be easier to manage,, fill any extra time with study,, sports,, clubs,, etc.. do full days 9 - 5pm or later.. 5 days a week..

If you don't do this,, you will really have a tough time in the real world working.. (and remember that is why you are in college in the first place)... this is your choice and only you can get up off your arse and do it.. but trust me you will feel better about yourself when you do..

Man up and kick fear/lazyness in the balls..

e5merelda

superman28 wrote: »

I think everyone is being soft on you... and you know what the problem is.. you are lazy and unappreciative..

Your grandparents would have killed to have the opportunites you have in Ireland in terms of college.. Even in the US only the privilaged or very talented get to go to college..

I think its time to grow up, you are supposed to be an adult,, I would love to be back in college instead of working 9am-6pm 5 days a week. You said you like the course,, so what's the problem,, be harder on yourself,, push yourself.. enjoy it,, but work hard, it's not supposed to be easy..

I suggest setting your alarm at the same time every day and gettting up and dressed and head into college at the same time,, regardless of when your lectures start.. this routine will be easier to manage,, fill any extra time with study,, sports,, clubs,, etc.. do full days 9 - 5pm or later.. 5 days a week..

If you don't do this,, you will really have a tough time in the real world working.. (and remember that is why you are in college in the first place)... this is your choice and only you can get up off your arse and do it.. but trust me you will feel better about yourself when you do..

Man up and kick fear/lazyness in the balls..

you know you're right, and i know you're right. this is what i need to hear. i've got myself into this mess and i obviously need to get myself out of it. i need to kick myself into shape. no more excuses.

i was having a very self-pitying week, obviously. but thank you to everyone who answered, you really have helped a lot.