Surrealistic Ireland.

Kev_2012

I really miss the random surreal things that happen in Ireland...

But one thing happened in Vancouver that reminded me of home.
We were on the bus to go to the beach this summer and it was fairly packed. Myself and 2 friends were just chatting away and some random fat guy with headphones in and sunglasses on started screaming "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
Then stopped, about 30 seconds later, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!". This went on for about 5-6 minutes. We were all nearly crying from laughing and then he finally roars out "INXS F*CKING ROCK!!!!!" and kept going on about how good INXS were until we got off the bus. Was hilarious!

FTA69

I'm from a prominent council estate in Cork City known colloquially as "The Parks" which has a disproportionately high number of ne'er do wells and general oddballs. While I was in college around five years ago I worked for a milkman and part of the job was knocking on doors enquiring if anyone wanted the service. As luck would have it, I was assigned this mental estate on account I was from there originally.

One woman's gate was so knackered she had ripped it off and replaced it with an old washing machine on a skateboard which she used to slide back and forth to keep the dogs in.

Legs.Eleven

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

What must also be surreal to a Spanish person is that we can can gather together in groups larger than two while not regularly exceeding the decibel levels created by a Space Shuttle launch

Fcuking tell me about it! :mad: 4 years of this deafening chit chat in my ear.

ivytwine

Grayson wrote: »

When my dad died the undertaker was a taxi driver. A few years befor he'd given someone in my family both his business cards when they got a taxi home after a night on the drink. They'd kept them since the same number is on each and you never know when you might need the number of a cab firm.

Our local undertaker runs an electrical shop as well. When his dad was alive the sign on the shop read "Electrical Funeral Director".

Sorry to hear about your dad!

ivytwine

Muckie wrote: »

A mad old chap(going back years before tv) used to wonder from pub to pub with his pet cockerel, which he then got drunk.

Every one used to stand around and have a laugh. He'd be singing and dancing as the bird was spinning around!

Mighty craic!

In college (not long after the Hangover came out) these two lads wandered the estate with a hen- it seemed like they did it on a regular basis. We were having a houseparty and I spotted them out the window and yelled at them to come in. Vaguely remember one of the lads switching on the oven and the two buckos with the hen making quick excuses and leaving!

gramar

A local pub that sells razors and paracetemol for patrons who like to straighten themselves up before going to work in the morning.

ivytwine

Last post for a while :P Love this thread!

This competition happened near me a little while ago and has spawned imitators! http://www.limerickleader.ie/news/countdown-is-on-to-novel-cow-dung-drop-fundraiser-in-bruff-1-2982491

Heard of a TV licence inspector going around in a real mountainy area of north Cork. Knocked on a door to be greeted by a double-barrelled shotgun.

"We've no television here," the farmer growls, despite the fact the inspector can hear the dulcet sounds of RTE inside.

"But-" he begins, and the farmer cocks the gun and growls, "We've NO television here!"

TV licence inspector gives it up as a bad job.

Last one: brilliant video from the mid-90s.

gramar

I was thumbing a lift a few years back and a fella in a fairly clapped out old car stops. The car had no dashboard and my seat wasn't fixed to the floor.

When it started raining the wipers weren't working so he pulled his sleeve down over his hand and started wiping the drops off the screen and asked me to do the same on my side.

missierex

gramar wrote: »

I was thumbing a lift a few years back and a fella in a fairly clapped out old car stops. The car had no dashboard and my seat wasn't fixed to the floor.

When it started raining the wipers weren't working so he pulled his sleeve down over his hand and started wiping the drops off the screen and asked me to do the same on my side.

Sounds a bit like that Tarantino movie 'Deathproof'...:eek:

Tabnabs

Pretty sure this is based on a true story

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUu2Ij-Ax3I

pickarooney

gramar wrote: »

A local pub that sells razors and paracetemol for patrons who like to straighten themselves up before going to work in the morning.

Or do themselves in on the way home.

OhHiMark

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Yeah I don't think it was the shoddy bus service we have in Ireland but more the fact that people wait patiently for a bus they have no idea will even arrive. Strange coming from a country where things run on time and people get annoyed when a bus is a few minutes late. And the fact that people wait alone in the middle of nowhere. I visited almost every country in South America, for example, and the buses were on time in almost every one.

Why do you keep saying that people have no idea if the bus will even arrive, as if this is a regular thing? The bus might be late most of the time, but it will pretty much always arrive.

L1011

BeepBeep67 wrote: »

Just had to have a nose on Google maps, the shop is still there, at least when it was mapped. K Barry Grocery, Fancy goods - Ha!

Seems to have lost the post office - none on An Post's website for the town

wp_rathead

ivytwine wrote: »

Our local undertaker runs an electrical shop as well. When his dad was alive the sign on the shop read "Electrical Funeral Director".

Sorry to hear about your dad!

Our undertaker runs local pub
My dad was in First Responders and was looking to have a Defibulator kept beside the pub as is most (well only) gathering point in the community..
When he asked could it be kept there he was met with "No, sure be bad for business"

LordSinclair

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL6aDrzs3Fs

Dyr

Tabnabs wrote: »

Pretty sure this is based on a true story

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUu2Ij-Ax3I

bollox it is,

though i saw a pony on the balcony of a flat in the four stories once

mattjack

Tabnabs wrote: »

Pretty sure this is based on a true story

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUu2Ij-Ax3I

Where mrsMattjack is from in Finglas , the young lad (nicknamed scorebag) who lived beside her kept his horse out the back of his Grandmothers's terraced house .His Grandmother didnt mind him bringing the horse through the house once he cleaned up after any shites.

His mother lived in the towers in Ballymun and he had tried to bring it up the lift but he reckoned it was worth the hassle 'cause the lifts regularly broke and he couldn't bring the horse down the stairs.

IvaBigWun

Tabnabs wrote: »

Pretty sure this is based on a true story

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUu2Ij-Ax3I

Oh I really hope so

jimgoose

This is the great Eddie Moroney, who I have long been convinced should be a regular on Eurosport or Sky Sports:

donegal__road

The King of the Gypsies was decided at the Puck Fair in Killorglin some years ago.

Legs.Eleven

OhHiMark wrote: »

Why do you keep saying that people have no idea if the bus will even arrive, as if this is a regular thing? The bus might be late most of the time, but it will pretty much always arrive.

Why are you getting so snotty? I'm relaying someone else's story!

Talk about not getting into the spirit of the thread. I'd say you're great craic!


Edit: A bus, some bus, will eventually arrive obviously but often over an hour late. She was obviously bemused at the fact that people waited for a bus that could come at any random time. This has never been common in her experience. A bus is never late in Madrid. Ever. The "bus might never arrive at all" is not to be taken literally, I presume and was used for comedic effect. It's called "Story Telling".

biketard

poundapunnet wrote: »

Not surreal but feckin typical, went up to the kitchen there and my mother arrived back from the village

Her: I just saw [local man who's been away travelling for a year] standing outside the shop smoking a fag

Me: Oh right

Her: He got back to Shannon last night and Maria picked him up

Me: Mmm

Her: Big red jumper on him.

And then we just stood there looking at each other, me waiting for the rest of the story and her waiting for my reaction to what was, apparently, the whole story. Bear in mind I've never talked to either of the people in the story, only know them to see.

I can't get this one out of my head. Still laughing about it two and a half weeks later.

ElvisChrist6

Today, myself - 5 foot 5, 7 stone - ended up between an aul alco and some fella in nothing but a pair of black briefs and a sheepskin jacket beating the ****e out of each other... I just went for a walk, didn't ask for that!!!

WilyCoyote

Just happened about 15 mins ago. There was I, walking behind the snowblower with full cold weather kit on, got instantly transposed to Knocknagoshel, which had seemingly morphed into a sub tropical island paradise, (I was now wearing a mankini) and drove the snowblower into a palm tree, which instantly dislodged a monkey - who had just plucked a ripe coconut from the branch.
Long story short ....... monkey fell under the blades of snowblower ...... so bits of monkey spewed onto far off atoll ....... while coconut joined a vocals group and sang about StoolPigeons. Goodnight! I'm off ....... cha-cha-chaa:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-NGlOB4hJA

akura

How many bales of hay can you fit in/on your corolla?? :pac:

gramar

akura wrote: »

How many bales of hay can you fit in/on your corolla?? :pac:

..and it's not some country boreen they're on, it looks like a dual carriageway or motorway!

As a young lad I remember there were about 10 of us in the trainers Renault 4 along with kitbag and balls going to a football match one Sunday morning.

sinead88

Passed a car today that had a pony tied to it, running along behind it. Also, the boot was open and there were two children sitting in it. Bizarre.