Dog taking over my bed

emmabrighton

My hairy cocker spaniel got a blade one all over a month ago and since then has taken to sleeping under the covers at night… fair enough! Problem is that since last weekend he has taken to sleeping under my duvet somewhere around where my knees would normally be. I also have a toddler who sleeps in my bed. In my mind, if he is going to sleep in my bed, then it would be better for all if he slept beneath my toddlers feet. My little boy is only 2 feet tall!!!!!!

I had a wrestling match with the dog last night trying to push him over to where I want him to sleep. The dog won. I ended up sleeping in an s shape to accommodate the baby and the dog.

The OH has moved out of the bedroom into the spare room as there is no room left in the bed with the baby doing helicopters during the night.

How do I convince the dog to 1) go back to sleeping with my husband.. or 2) to sleep beneath my toddlers legs or secret option 3) how did you knowledgeable folk remedy the situation in your abode?

Effects

1) Close the bedroom door and let the dog sleep elsewhere. 2) Leave fog in spare bedroom with OH 3) Push dog out of your way

emmabrighton

Effects wrote: »

1) Close the bedroom door and let the dog sleep elsewhere. 2) Leave fog in spare bedroom with OH 3) Push dog out of your way

Thanks for the reply. Its not the end of the world for me so I can live with it for a few weeks until his hair gets a bit longer.

1) not an option as he is the smartest airhead i know and this summer learned how to open the doors in the house. Living in a rental semi-d so can't close the baby gate on the stairs with him in the sitting room because he will howl because he gets lonely.

2) The dog wont stay in the spare room. He always starts off there but ends up coming in to me at 3 or 4 in the morning. No locks for the doors.

3) Doesn't work either because he pushes right back - he is easily light enough to pick up when he wants to be picked up but when he doesn't he becomes as heavy and akward to move as a tonne of bricks

gugleguy

I know this is the pets and animals forum OP: in your case you've to prioritize humans, or your little man over the mutt.

emmabrighton

gugleguy wrote: »

I know this is the pets and animals forum OP: in your case you've to prioritize humans, or your little man over the mutt.

I agree for sure, I was happy with the baby and myself in one room and the dog and daddy in the other. I had enough room to sleep and the dog kept the OH warm.

The night before last, I had a terribly restless night so was exhausted last night. I didn't have the energy to deal with the dog last night.

Will have to discuss with my partner ways of keeping the dog in the spare room. I am pretty sure the dog is waking up because he needs to use the toilet - I go to bed at 9 and he cant make it til the morning.

My oh is not leaving the dog out before he goes to bed so the dog is waking me up to go to the bathroom and then decides to stick with me until the morning.

I know it started off very tongue in cheek but actually i think the problem is the dog needing to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. I said it to the OH on friday and he must have forgotten to do it again last night.

Millem

emmabrighton wrote: »

My hairy cocker spaniel got a blade one all over a month ago and since then has taken to sleeping under the covers at night… fair enough! Problem is that since last weekend he has taken to sleeping under my duvet somewhere around where my knees would normally be. I also have a toddler who sleeps in my bed. In my mind, if he is going to sleep in my bed, then it would be better for all if he slept beneath my toddlers feet. My little boy is only 2 feet tall!!!!!!

I had a wrestling match with the dog last night trying to push him over to where I want him to sleep. The dog won. I ended up sleeping in an s shape to accommodate the baby and the dog.

The OH has moved out of the bedroom into the spare room as there is no room left in the bed with the baby doing helicopters during the night.

How do I convince the dog to 1) go back to sleeping with my husband.. or 2) to sleep beneath my toddlers legs or secret option 3) how did you knowledgeable folk remedy the situation in your abode?

I have 3 dogs one of whom sleeps under duvet in a spare spot at the bottom of the bed and is very good just curls up. Another one of my dogs recently decided she wanted to get into the bed and in the middle of the night would kick my OH wake him up etc. It probably took 3 nights of hell to sort this out! I would keep telling her to go back to her own bed. (She knows the bed command).
She eventually got the gist of it and sleeps through the night! (Fingers crossed). Herself and the other dog sleep in dog beds beside our bed. If I were you I put put a dog bed beside your bed and put a blanket over him?

cocker5

emmabrighton wrote: »

My hairy cocker spaniel got a blade one all over a month ago and since then has taken to sleeping under the covers at night… fair enough! Problem is that since last weekend he has taken to sleeping under my duvet somewhere around where my knees would normally be. I also have a toddler who sleeps in my bed. In my mind, if he is going to sleep in my bed, then it would be better for all if he slept beneath my toddlers feet. My little boy is only 2 feet tall!!!!!!

I had a wrestling match with the dog last night trying to push him over to where I want him to sleep. The dog won. I ended up sleeping in an s shape to accommodate the baby and the dog.

The OH has moved out of the bedroom into the spare room as there is no room left in the bed with the baby doing helicopters during the night.

How do I convince the dog to 1) go back to sleeping with my husband.. or 2) to sleep beneath my toddlers legs or secret option 3) how did you knowledgeable folk remedy the situation in your abode?

I have to say i do feel your pain... cockers are sneaky little feckers and will wedge their way into your heart and then into the bed.... they have ways and means to get what they want...

If i allowed my cocker he too would sleep on my bed and curled behind my knees too... very confortable for him... not so much for me :rolleyes:

what i do is i have a pillow or bed for him in the room (when im in the house alone only) and these nights i allow him up... he does try and jump up but i put him down 3/4 times he gets fed up and sleeps in his own bed... do this for a few nights and it will sort the little beggar out

also if he's cold in his bed (with his clip) and he wants body heat... get him a hot water bottle is his own bed with a cover on it and this should keep him very happy

Best of luck and be STRONG.... the cocker gaze and gorgeous face can be very convincing at times

maggiepip

We actually have our king sized extended with a second bed alongside it for our 3 dogs - they still try to squash into our space:D

tk123

This thread has me wondering what will happen when I stop crating the pup at night - where am I going to sleep lol!

Inexile

At the moment I have three plastic dog beds in our bedroom and one regular dog bed. But that's not enough as our spaniel sleeps at the bottom of our bed. T he collie sleeps on the regular dog bed and the 3 greys sleep in the plastic tub bed. The greys look like peas in a pod as the beds are lined up in a row.

OP just keep ordering your guy back to his space where ever that is - at the end of the bed or back with the OH. If you think the dog is cold after the clip put a tee shirt or dog coat on him to see if that helps settle him.

Our collie is a useless sleeper she regularly wakes up in the middle of the night and mooches about but she eventually settles.

Of course if it gets really bad you could move to the sofa

wexford12

It is madness having your baby and dog in the bed and your husband in the spare room!!! Dogs need a pecking order and he is trying to win the bed which can end in your dog attacking your or worse still your child. Dogs should not be let in your bed full stop.... Google it or check with a dog trainer it can and does end it the dog attacking you or baby

borderlinemeath

wexford12 wrote: »

It is madness having your baby and dog in the bed and your husband in the spare room!!! Dogs need a pecking order and he is trying to win the bed which can end in your dog attacking your or worse still your child. Dogs should not be let in your bed full stop.... Google it or check with a dog trainer it can and does end it the dog attacking you or baby

Utter rubbish.

Dogs don't understand 'pecking order' and he's not trying to 'win the bed'. Seriously, how can you think a dog has the mental capacity to understand what you're trying to imply. You're talking completely outdated 'dominance theories' that have been completely disproven. Only TV quacks still talk this rubbish.

borderlinemeath

OP, mine love the bed. They come in for an evening and a morning cuddle. To get them onto their own beds the get offered a treat to go to bed. Only when they're on the bed do they get it, and they settle for the night. It took practice and perseverance but now they run to their beds at the mere mention of 'beddybyes and nitenites' , because they know what's coming.

BillyMitchel

tk123 wrote: »

This thread has me wondering what will happen when I stop crating the pup at night - where am I going to sleep lol!

Why wouldn't you continue to crate at night when he's older?

OP be carefull waking a dog up when it's sleeping, especially if your son is in the same bed. Just get a nice little bed for him in a warm spot and he'll settle down after awhile.

DBB

wexford12 wrote: »

It is madness having your baby and dog in the bed and your husband in the spare room!!! Dogs need a pecking order and he is trying to win the bed which can end in your dog attacking your or worse still your child. Dogs should not be let in your bed full stop.... Google it or check with a dog trainer it can and does end it the dog attacking you or baby

I'll save you the price of a phone call OP, as a dog trainer I can assure you right here and now that your dog is not trying to win the bed, nor building up to attacking you or your child.
Bloody hell, when is this utter misinformation just going to go away? It is waffle, it is hocus-pocus, and most of all, it has been disproven.
OP, there can be issues with having a dog in the bed... dogs can start to get irritated if you move around in the night and waken them, it's almost as if you frighten them waking them from a deep slumber and they wake up in ninja mode . However, this is resource guarding, not a bid to overthrow you and humankind. It doesn't always happen, but it is a risk.
I would strongly suggest that you get an adequately sized crate, train your dog to use it, then when he's comfortable in it, let him sleep in it beside your bed, in a lovely, snuggly quilt. You can then start to move the crate a little further away from your bed over a few weeks. And of course, as you've identified, the full bladder in the small hours won't be helping, so you'll need to find a way to make sure he gets out for his pre-bedtime ablutions!
As this is an animals forum, and I'm not qualified to give out advice on human relationships, I'll not comment on the arrangement whereby your OH has been consigned to another bed in another room Each to their own

Ziegfeldgirl27

With all due respect, I think this situation is totally unacceptable.

If someone or something gets too close to my Lhasa Apso when she is sleeping, she will snap. Aren't you afraid of your dog snapping your baby?

While I do appreciate that some people do like to sleep with their animals, the top priority for me is getting a good nights sleep. Having my animals in the bed with me would just be a complete nightmare. They sleep in the utility room.

tk123

BillyMitchel wrote: »

Why wouldn't you continue to crate at night when he's older?

.

Because she'll outgrow the crate for starters lol! Also I'd feel guilty if one was on the bed and one was in a crate.
I quite like having my dog sleep on the bed - he only started to sleep upstairs again after about 3.5 years.

BillyMitchel

DBB would you agree with the snapping when woken up though?

Is it positive re-enforcement training you do? Sorry for going OT!

Millem

tk123 wrote: »

Because she'll outgrow the crate for starters lol! Also I'd feel guilty if one was on the bed and one was in a crate.
I quite like having my dog sleep on the bed - he only started to sleep upstairs again after about 3.5 years.

I love having mine in the bed too best hot water bottle so cosy! My dog is so funny and goes to bed every night at 8.30!! Even if we are downstairs she trots off
By herself and gets under the covers!! Lol I have to say though there is only space for one down the bottom at night! I wouldn't like if OH had to sleep in spare room! I have been off sick from work so during the day the other two get onto bed so there is me and 3 dogs in it and they all curl up together!!

BillyMitchel

tk123 wrote: »

Because she'll outgrow the crate for starters lol! Also I'd feel guilty if one was on the bed and one was in a crate.
I quite like having my dog sleep on the bed - he only started to sleep upstairs again after about 3.5 years.

Should have got one that would fit her for her life. Crates are a god-sent! Some crates now can even be divided into sections. I'd be lost without mine but same time no way would I let him on the bed. Beds not big enough anyway!!

DBB

BillyMitchel wrote: »

DBB would you agree with the snapping when woken up though?

As per my post, yes I would say it can be a risk:

DBB wrote: »

OP, there can be issues with having a dog in the bed... dogs can start to get irritated if you move around in the night and waken them, it's almost as if you frighten them waking them from a deep slumber and they wake up in ninja mode . However, this is resource guarding, not a bid to overthrow you and humankind. It doesn't always happen, but it is a risk.

However, it's really important to put some context on this. Personally, I have no issue with people having their dogs on the furniture or in the bed... Each to their own! But only if sharing the furniture doesn't cause a problem. Most dogs don't cause a problem, but some do (further evidence that dominance as a motivator doesn't happen... If it was a motivator, it'd mean pretty much all dogs would be unliveable-withable).
Dogs who protect their sleeping spot, or food, or toys, or chews, or their owners etc are resource guarding, protecting something they value... Just like you or I do, although I feel it's easier to understand if you picture two young kids vying for something both of them want! There is definitely a disposition in some breeds to be resource guarders, although lack of really early training by the breeder, then owner, to learn to like sharing, plays a very big part too.
For the record, breeds that are in my experience predisposed to resource guarding are terriers, Shih Tsus (and Lhasas!), Retrievers, and.... Cockers :-o

Is it positive re-enforcement training you do? Sorry for going OT!

Behaviour is more my thang, but yes... Absolutely 100% committed to ethical training. For the record, there is no such thing as a purely positive trainer. Everyone needs to be able to provide consequences for a dog when he persists in misbehaving... It's the type of consequence that separates ethical trainers from *ahem* "traditional" trainers. Withholding desired rewards until the desired behaviour happens, and properly executed Time Outs are the two groups of "punishments" that are considered ethical. These are the only types of punishment a "positive" trainer will use.
God, I do go on, don't I? :-D

endacl

Dog sleeps in dog's kennel. Toddler sleeps in toddler's bed. OH moves back into his own bed. Appropriate boundaries are set and established and, hey presto, problem is gone.

tk123

BillyMitchel wrote: »

Should have got one that would fit her for her life. Crates are a god-sent! Some crates now can even be divided into sections. I'd be lost without mine but same time no way would I let him on the bed. Beds not big enough anyway!!

I actually have 4 crates(!) - 2 of them would probably fit both dogs (my big guy was on crate rest twice so needed bigger crates) but I don't want a huge crate in my room...our house is small! :pac:

borderlinemeath

endacl wrote: »

Dog sleeps in dog's kennel. Toddler sleeps in toddler's bed. OH moves back into his own bed. Appropriate boundaries are set and established and, hey presto, problem is gone.

It's obviously not just as simple as saying 'dog sleeps in a kennel'. If the dog has always been an indoor dog, it will be a huge shock to the dogs routine to be turfed outdoors. Perhaps he's a barker and will keep the OP, and the rest of the neighbourhood awake all night.

Some people don't want boundaries, if people want their children to sleep in their bed, then that's their prerogative, the OP hasn't asked about moving her child out, she's asking how to deal with the dog while he has a short haircut, yet your answer would be to turf him outdoors!!

DBB

endacl wrote: »

Dog sleeps in dog's kennel. Toddler sleeps in toddler's bed. OH moves back into his own bed. Appropriate boundaries are set and established and, hey presto, problem is gone.

Having the dog live in the house, and having appropriate boundaries, are not mutually exclusive. But such an Irish condition, to immediately jump to the "dogs live in kennels" side of the fence. No wonder we've such issues with dog welfare in this country.. many of us seem hard-wired to keep dogs in conditions that aren't terribly good for them.
In fact, there isn't a qualified behaviourist who wouldn't advise that it is more beneficial, on a number of levels, for the dog to live inside the house: it fulfils their (and humans') social needs, it means the dog will be better trained, and generally better cared-for. Having the dog inside as a companion also has well-reported health benefits for both owner and dog, and helps people through dark times. How can a companion animal be a companion animal when he's living outside in a shed?
In any case, what business of anyone's is it if an owner wants their dog to sit on their lap to watch TV, to keep them company, to sleep in their room at night? If it's doing neither the owner, the dog, or anyone else any harm, what business is it of yours or mine?

endacl

borderlinemeath wrote: »

It's obviously not just as simple as saying 'dog sleeps in a kennel'. If the dog has always been an indoor dog, it will be a huge shock to the dogs routine to be turfed outdoors. Perhaps he's a barker and will keep the OP, and the rest of the neighbourhood awake all night.

Some people don't want boundaries, if people want their children to sleep in their bed, then that's their prerogative, the OP hasn't asked about moving her child out, she's asking how to deal with the dog while he has a short haircut, yet your answer would be to turf him outdoors!!

If people don't want boundaries that's fair enough. There's little point though, in opening a thread to ask for advice in addressing the consequences of a lack of boundaries. OP doesn't have to put the dog outdoors of course. The kitchen would do the trick. Even the hall/landing. Maybe the spare room? Let the OH back into his bed?

DBB

endacl wrote: »

Let the OH back into his bed?

According to the OP, the OH's departure to the spare room is due to the toddler helicoptering in the bed...nothing to do with the dog.
This ain't the forum for that discussion.

aonb

borderlinemeath wrote: »

OP, mine love the bed. They come in for an evening and a morning cuddle. To get them onto their own beds the get offered a treat to go to bed. Only when they're on the bed do they get it, and they settle for the night. It took practice and perseverance but now they run to their beds at the mere mention of 'beddybyes and nitenites' , because they know what's coming.

This is EXACTLY our routine too - so pleased to see that there are other nutters doing the same thing (cept Id NEVER say "beddybyes" )

celined

I think the person who is a dog trainer gave you excellent advice. We went to puppy classes with our rough collie and followed everything the trainer said to the letter and our dog who has the run of the house regularly chooses his crate over the couch or the bed. It's a cosy safe place just for him not a prison like some people think. I rarely bolt the gate on it yet he spends a lot of time in it. I got the big crate in Argos. I know an excellent dog trainer who does house visits in the midlands/east pm me if you want a number. Good luck!

borderlinemeath

aonb wrote: »

This is EXACTLY our routine too - so pleased to see that there are other nutters doing the same thing (cept Id NEVER say "beddybyes" )

I know, I know!!

That's just one of the silly things we say! I won't even say some of the others!!

meoklmrk91

My fella started coming over to me in the middle of the night and the morning shivering, he is a boxer and despite my best efforts he hasn't a pick on him (vet says he is the perfect weight but would like a little fat on him in the winter due to the cold). He has always loved snuggling up under the duvet and as much as I hate having hairs on the bed I just can't say no to him lately, tbf his bed has gone to crap after 2 years of good service and I can't afford a new one at the moment so that's part of it as well. Just going to get a good single quilt and buy some quilt covers from the charity shop and double it over this time, it will make washing it much easier,

Anyways despite the fact that it is just the two of us in a big double bed he still needs to be as close to me as possible meaning that I often wake up at the edge of the bed! On the plus side though I am very toasty on even the coldest of nights with my big furry hot water bottle.

OP maybe pick up a snuggle safe heatpad or two, get the OH to leave him out to the toilet and hopefully the combination of being empty and having a warm bed might keep him out of yours!

Oh for those who say that the dog should be in the kennel, he is cold inside never mind out. Despite the whole big furry coat thing, for most dogs being outside is just like us being outside in our clothes, there are exceptions to the rule, Huskys for instance aren't bothered by the cold at all and many actually seem to like it but I wouldn't like to see how my lad who wakes up shivering in the house would do outside at night.