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Deleting someone from Facebook.

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Comments

  • #32
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    Sorry about the double post: I'm adding rather than editing in the hope that you'll spot more easily that the thread has been updated
    Monkey09 wrote: »
    This evening, I am strongly considering sending her another email to put down in black in white the reasons why I became so frustrated and felt so let down. That may make her realise that I deleted her because I felt utterly tormented trying to reach out to her several different times and through several different mediums - only to be ignored or fobbed off. I do not care if I get a response from her or not, but I would feel better knowing that I had at least explained the reasons behind my actions. So I would be doing it more for my benefit than hers.

    Maybe you should write everything down so that you can get the frustration and torment out of your system. But DO NOT in the name of God send her a letter or an email. Delete what you wrote/burn what you wrote and then get on with your life.

    Have you ever heard of the phrase "When you're in a hole, stop digging"? Sometimes when you make a mistake, the more you try to rectify it, the worse it get. To me I can't see how you can ever fix things between you and this woman. Friendships and relationships can only be repaired if both people are prepared to forgive and forget. I'm very far from convinced that this "friend" of yours is in either camp. I bet too that she isn't giving this "falling out" even a fraction of as much thought as you're giving it. You're in her past now and she is unlikely to care or want to care how you feel. You should view this in the same fashion. Learn the lessons from this unfortunate episode and never get caught like this again.


  • #33
    K_P
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 577 ✭✭✭K_P


    I don't think I've anything to add to cymbaline's excellent two posts. You should read those, them read them again. And any time your resolve is wavering, read them yet again.

    I'm weighing in in an attempt to help you move on from the Facebook issue. The first two quotes are from your first post and the third from your most recent.
    Monkey09 wrote: »
    To cut a long story short - in the last few months, our friendship seemed to dwindle, maybe grow apart if you like.
    Monkey09 wrote: »
    sent her several text messages and Facebook messages asking her to call over to mine for a chat when she can. She responded to my messages but never came over to visit. I even rang her once in tears asking why she had never called over, and if she is avoiding me for some reason - she assured me that she wasn't. I assumed that she would visit over the coming days as a result of this conversation, but still, nothing!

    Monkey09 wrote: »
    I know I shouldn't feel this way but my decision to delete her from Facebook is really getting to me. If I hadn't done this, we would have parted ways on good terms at least.

    Without the Facebook deletion, you would not in any way, shape or form have parted on good terms. She probably still wouldn't have turned up to your leaving party - like the time she never came to see you after you rang her in tears. You had huge anger towards her and she was avoiding you, yet you think you'd have parted on good terms?!! What's happened is you stood up for yourself (which by the way you were entirely justified in doing) but now you're feeling guilty. If you don't learn to live with the feeling you now have, you'll learn nothing from this episode and be a doormat people pleaser your whole life.

    Leave it be, to email her again would be bordering in obsessive. You're coming home tomorrow - why is the planning and packing and excitement for that not occupying your thoughts? If the urge to write down your thoughts is overwhelming, as cymbaline suggested, write them down on paper with the intention of never sending them to her. It can be hugely cathartic. And then move on. I really do think when you're home this will occupy less of your head space as you'll be around your own family and friends and not immersed in her dysfunctional toxic family.


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