Bit of advice re: child present please...

2rkehij30qtza5

Just wondering what other's opinions are on this...

Was at a child's birthday party earlier today. Arrived with a present (a Barbie).
The mother said to me, "Child already has that Barbie, please return it and get her a Moxie Girl instead".

I was a bit taken aback..I would never say this to another parent regardless if my child had that toy already.

I bought the toy last month and have no way of getting back to the same toy shop any time soon..so it is incredibly inconvenient, not to mention the fact that the shop may not exchange it, therefore leaving me with a Barbie I don't need and having to get another present on top of that.

Just would like to know what others would have done in my situation. I feel like a mug. I didn't really say anything I was so taken aback and caught on the hop and there were other parents around too...I just wasn't quick enough to think of an answer.

ElleEm

That was incredibly rude of her.
Keep the Barbie for another birthday/ Christmas gift for someone who will appreciate it and ignore her demand.

Lisha

I'd have been flabbergasted !

That is so rude, I'd be disgusted with a child for showing such poor manners and ungratefulness . Am shocked that any adult would act in such a way

Moonbeam

I would be highly offended tbh.
We were at 2 parties today and gave a barbie at both but the kids presents were all put in a pile and the kids were not allowed to open them.
My little ones birthday is in January,actually all my kids birthdays are and the eldest will have her 1st party this year and guaranteed if everyone gave her the same present she probably would not mind she would just be delighted that they brought something.
A barbie is a barbie if you have 2 the same you can dress it differently,pretend they are twins or well re-give it as a present:)

December2012

It depends on what you said to her when giving her the gift - if you said something along the lines of "I hope she doesn't have one, let me know if she does" or one of those other empty phrases that people say but usually don't mean.

pwurple

Yes, keep it for your own child or give it to charity. Flaming Cheek of some people.

2rkehij30qtza5

December2012 wrote: »

It depends on what you said to her when giving her the gift - if you said something along the lines of "I hope she doesn't have one, let me know if she does" or one of those other empty phrases that people say but usually don't mean.

No I didn't say anything when giving the present!

wolfpawnat

My son got two Elefun's for his last birthday. I said nothing except thank you to the people. We see it as having a spare He likes it. I would actually be beyond shocked. How spoilt (and that's only the parent) The saying "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" was coined for a bloody reason.

lucky333

Keep the barbie/give it to one of your own.. Ignore her rudeness, don't get what she told you to get. Let her whistle for it and if she mentions it tell her to go and fcuk off you've better things to be doing

clairefontaine

I always supply a gift receipt taped to the inside of the card, in case they don't like it or they already have it.

If you are stuck with this gift and cant take it back, give to to a needy child for Christmas, lots of programs around.

MurdyWurdy

That is indescribably rude. The cheek! If I were you I would keep the barbie to give to another child or donate it and just don't bother getting anything else for the child whose party it was today.

If she collars you asking where her daughter's Moxie Girl is (I can't believe anyone would be that cheeky though) just tell her where to go and exactly how rude and ungrateful she has been.

God only knows what her children will turn out like being taught manners like that!

2rkehij30qtza5

Thank you everyone for the replies. Much appreciated.

brightspark

SVP were collecting toys in Tesco yesterday, give it to them instead.

http://www.svp.ie/appeal-2013/rte-2fm-toy-appeal.aspx

Sligo1

Aya Swift Albacore wrote: »

Just wondering what other's opinions are on this...

Was at a child's birthday party earlier today. Arrived with a present (a Barbie).
The mother said to me, "Child already has that Barbie, please return it and get her a Moxie Girl instead".

I was a bit taken aback..I would never say this to another parent regardless if my child had that toy already.

I bought the toy last month and have no way of getting back to the same toy shop any time soon..so it is incredibly inconvenient, not to mention the fact that the shop may not exchange it, therefore leaving me with a Barbie I don't need and having to get another present on top of that.

Just would like to know what others would have done in my situation. I feel like a mug. I didn't really say anything I was so taken aback and caught on the hop and there were other parents around too...I just wasn't quick enough to think of an answer.

:eek: Rude rude and rude.

2rkehij30qtza5

clairefontaine wrote: »

I always supply a gift receipt taped to the inside of the card, in case they don't like it or they already have it.

If you are stuck with this gift and cant take it back, give to to a needy child for Christmas, lots of programs around.

Good idea. I will be putting in gift receipts from now on in all presents!

Lisha

Aya Swift Albacore wrote: »

Good idea. I will be putting in gift receipts from now on in all presents!

Tbh I usually give cash 10-15€.

Mrs Fox

Donate the Barbie to some charity, write a note to the mother:

Dear (insert name),

The Barbie doll has been donated to a charity for children in need under your daughter's name. So will the rest of her presents for the years to come.
Oh no no, please don't thank me. You have a very merry Christmas now.

Regards.

John Mason

Give it the toy appeal and send a letter to the mother, saying toy has been dontated to SVP in her daughters name.

cheeky bitch

December2012

Jaysus don't do anything so dramatic!

She has asked you to return / exchange it, so yeah, fine, do that.

As in, have that in your mind to do, but whaddayaknow - you don't go to that store very often and again, whaddayaknow - even when you do you won't have the receipt or they can't exchange it, etc.

So, in effect, do nothing.

lisamoy77

That was extremely rude of her. She could have just accepted it and regift it!

nikpmup

In my head, I'd write her a note saying that seeing as she was so ungrateful the toy has gone to a gift drive for SVP, she should have accepted it with good grace etc, but in reality I'd probably mumble something passive-aggressive and slink off lol! December's idea is a good one (although I would donate the toy)

emmabrighton

brightspark wrote: »

SVP were collecting toys in Tesco yesterday, give it to them instead.

http://www.svp.ie/appeal-2013/rte-2fm-toy-appeal.aspx

Like the idea of gifting it to a charity - and, depending if you want to maintain this friendship or not, then tell her what you have done and why...

Bloody cheek!

In future, take it as a lesson learned and include a gift receipt...

emmabrighton

Mrs Fox wrote: »

Donate the Barbie to some charity, write a note to the mother:

Dear (insert name),

The Barbie doll has been donated to a charity for children in need under your daughter's name. So will the rest of her presents for the years to come.
Oh no no, please don't thank me. You have a very merry Christmas now.

Regards.

I dare say the OP's child would never be invited to the girls party ever again... still it would be great to let the cheeky mother have her comeuppance...

nikpmup

Y'see, while including a gift receipt is a good idea, and something I'd do for close friends so that they could definitely get what they wanted, I'm of the opinion that yer woman should have accepted the gift with good grace. I don't know how many times over the years I've been given gifts that I didn't want/need - for my wedding I ended up with seven cutlery sets! - but I accepted them all gracefully and said nothing, as I'm sure we've all done. (Well... Nearly all of us!:D)

1moreyr

That is so rude. What some of the parents in my daughters class have started doing is writing on the invitation that their child is saving for a (bike, flicker etc) and would really appreciate a donation of maximum €5 towards the cost. I think that is a lovely idea because, I don't know about other people, but my daughter has so many toys and it would be nice to get her something she really wants. Takes the hassle out of parents having to decide what to buy too.

eviltwin

What a disgusting attitude. I would donate it to charity as others have said and give the child nothing. And to be honest if I knew this woman well I'd tell her so, people need to be called out on bad manners especially if this child is a friend of yours and this woman might be someone you have to come into contact with again.

clairefontaine

eviltwin wrote: »

What a disgusting attitude. I would donate it to charity as others have said and give the child nothing. And to be honest if I knew this woman well I'd tell her so, people need to be called out on bad manners especially if this child is a friend of yours and this woman might be someone you have to come into contact with again.

True but I wouldnt punish the child to get at the mother. Not the kids fault.

eviltwin

clairefontaine wrote: »

True but I wouldnt punish the child to get at the mother. Not the kids fault.

How is it punishing the child? One less present isn't going to do her any harm. The time for the gift was at the birthday anyway, the moment has passed. I wonder how the child felt seeing her gift handed back.

xzanti

What a pig!!

You went out and bought the child a gift and that's the thanks you got!! I'm actually hurt for you reading that OP.

God love her daughter if she is her role model for the future.

clairefontaine

Hmn. Rudeness doesn't bother me that much. I actually am glad when people tell me things like that, I'd rather it not end up in the bin, which is where I put toys I don't want.

Just as Id hate for someone to sit though an eat a meal I prepared for them if they didn't like it. I'd rather they said something.

I get toys as gifts which are complete crap, like cheap **** fake lego and it goes straight in the bin. I've told family, please I'd rather you buy nothing than waste your money on toys that will break and end up disappointing the child and just go in the trash because they are unusable. Or they are unsafe. My son got a rubber band shooting gun once, but the person then expected ME to teach him how to use it and use it responsibly, same with the person who gave him an iPad,expects me to regulate it.

So I give cash or gift receipts with gifts. And if I give them something they don't want or need, then I don't mind if they say something. I'll return it or I won't. End of.

shamrock55

That was disgusting behaviour from her, it has happened to our kids a few times where they have recieved a gift they already had, no big deal we just pass them on to others as presents, id be shocked if we havent done the same at other kids birthdays or xmas, but you just wouldnt be told, its the fact someone has bought you a gift thats the good thing, its impossible for others to know what the kids already have