Going rate for wedding present these days?

dark crystal

Santa Cruz wrote: »

100 would be the going rate for your sister. At least that's what the lads tell me

No need for that.

anamara86

I have no problem giving a family member / close friend a nice bit of money for their wedding, but seriously there is no way I could afford to give 500/1000 & I think if one of my siblings gave me that, I'd think they had more money than sense. Surely, you invite those you love to your wedding to share in your special day, not to make a quick buck.

Mince Pie

Santa Cruz wrote: »

100 would be the going rate for your sister. At least that's what the lads tell me

What lads would they be now? The spotty 16 year olds who couldn't get their hole if they paid for it? That "joke" is nearly as original as "yer ma". :rolleyes:

Alf Veedersane

looking_around wrote: »

If someone "invited" me to a wedding abroad, but expected me to fork out flights etc, I'd tell'em to feck off.

Or you could go and not give a present. What if they invited you rather than 'invited' you? Would you go? We got married abroad and didn't expect any gifts. Part of the reason we got married abroad was it cost us less for travel and accommodation for 2 nights than it did for the previous weddings we went to in Ireland. That said, most people I know dread wedding invitations wherever they are so we were just grateful that those who came were there.

Jamsiek

Chanel Bald Sortie wrote: »

You aren't making sense, you ask would I gift them 1k and I say yes. Then you say if they could really do with the money would I still do it?

Very small minority would be in a position to pay that amount though

strobe

Get them something you think they'd like. If it costs €10 or €200 so be it.
Anyone that would think badly about a wedding present you gave them, due only to the fact they didn't think it cost enough, are most likely massive assholes that should probably be skinned alive, while people chant "cvnt cvnt cvnt!" at them, for the entertainment of the masses. So who gives a sh1t what they think?

Sir Arthur Daley

strobe wrote: »

Get them something you think they'd like. If it costs €10 or €200 so be it.
Anyone that would think badly about a wedding present you gave them, due only to the fact they didn't think it cost enough, are most likely massive assholes that should probably be skinned alive, while people chant "cvnt cvnt cvnt!" at them, for the entertainment of the masses. So who gives a sh1t what they think?

Would you be impressed and happy if all you got was 10 euro each from all your wedding guests?

strobe

WikiHow wrote: »

Would you be impressed and happy if all you got was 10 euro each from all your wedding guests?

If I thought it was something they thought I'd like, hence them buying it for me. Yes. Of course.

:eek: ... what has been implied here...

Sir Arthur Daley

strobe wrote: »

If I thought it was something they thought I'd like hence them buying it for me. Yes. Of course.

:eek: ... what has been implied here...

I would stay at home and not go to a wedding if all i could give would be 10 euros.

strobe

WikiHow wrote: »

I would stay at home and not go to a wedding if all i could give would be 10 euros.

You'd rob them both of your heart felt ten euro gift and also your genuinely well wishing presence at their joyous day of union?

Are you that lad? Whatsisname... Professor Chaos?

ElecKtrA

The whole point of weddings is to celebrate a special day in a couples life!!! It should not revolve around money....if you want to give a gift then give something that they will cherish and have with them for the rest of their lives!!! If a couple want to throw a lavish ceremony then leave them off, why should guests be expected to pay for it!

anncoates

Usually give 200 for general weddings.

Think I gave 350 to the last good friend that got married.

Neither of my two siblings are married but would give then more in the event of it happening.

Sir Arthur Daley

strobe wrote: »

You'd rob them both of your heart felt ten euro gift and also your genuinely well wishing presence at their joyous day of union?

Are you that lad? Whatsisname... Professor Chaos?

If all i had to bring to a wedding as a gift was 10 euro i would not be expecting a 4 course dinner offered to me or complimentary drinks, a happy meal from MacDonalds is what would be appropriate.

awec

The "cover the cost of the meal" thing is pretty funny too.

If you expect your guests to cover the cost of their meal then you may as well just charge them as they come in the door.

The price of the meal and the value of the gift should not be linked in any way. Pay for whatever meal you can afford, and guests bring whatever gift they deem they can afford. There should be no expectation that guests cover their own costs.

awec

WikiHow wrote: »

If all i had to bring to a wedding as a gift was 10 euro i would not be expecting a 4 course dinner offered to me or complimentary drinks, a happy meal from MacDonalds is what would be appropriate.

You should put that on your invitation.

"If you plan on bringing a tenner you are not welcome to eat the meal. We only want to share our wedding day with people who will throw money at us, you are welcome to come to the dance afterward."

BabysCoffee

SV wrote: »

So what you're saying is when guests are invited to something like a wedding, really what they're asking is 'come to this formal event and bring a present for us. Thanks'
Wedding presents are such awful bullshîte and the fact people put a minimum price on them is even worse.

Yup supremely tacky to expect a present of a particular value just because you chose to host a wedding party

Sir Arthur Daley

awec wrote: »

You should put that on your invitation.

"If you plan on bringing a tenner you are not welcome to eat the meal. We only want to share our wedding day with people who will throw money at us, you are welcome to come to the dance afterward."

And i wouldn't let them keep the toy from the happy meal either, nothing worse than free loaders at weddings, at low water 50 euro for a guest.

BabysCoffee

WikiHow wrote: »

Would you be impressed and happy if all you got was 10 euro each from all your wedding guests?

Yes!

I invited them for their presence not their presents.

SpaceTime

For very close friends, siblings and immediate relatives, I might splash out a bit but for anyone else €500 is absolutely crazy.

€100-150 is about as far as I'd go. I'd actually be embarrassed to give someone I didn't know all that well a big gift. I mean, seriously, it's like going "oh look at me I'm trying to buy your friendship or oh! look at me, I'm so wealthy I can drop €500 prezzies around like confetti"

Get a bit real!

anncoates

Can see why people think cash gifts are crass but I'd prefer to give it than a gift.

So often, gifts are about the giver, that is, what the giver thinks constitutes a unique gift and not what is practical or what the receiving person actually wants.

Fair enough the recent trend in cash gifts may be as much about the cost of crassly indulgent weddings as much as anything but I honestly think a lot of it is a tacit acceptance that no matter how much you think your gift is lovely and unique and special, it basically amounts to anything between 50 - 250 gifts - with dozens of duplicate gifts - for the couple that they either don't want, need or simply have no room for.

awec

WikiHow wrote: »

And i wouldn't let them keep the toy from the happy meal either, nothing worse than free loaders at weddings, at low water 50 euro for a guest.

This is the hilarious thing. "Free loaders".

Proof, if ever needed, that some people view weddings as a money raising exercise.

If you don't want to pay for a wedding then don't have one.

awec

anncoates wrote: »

Can see why people think cash gifts are crass but I'd prefer to give it than a gift.

So often, gifts are about the giver, that is, what the giver thinks constitutes a unique gift and not what is practical or what the receiving person actually wants.

Fair enough the recent trend in cash gifts may be as much about the cost of crassly indulgent weddings as much as anything but I honestly think a lot of it is a tacit acceptance that no matter how much you think your gift is lovely and unique and special, it basically amounts to anything between 50 - 250 gifts - with dozens of duplicate gifts - for the couple that they either don't want, need or simply have no room for.

This is why wedding lists are great.

So long as your list has a good variety of differently priced items on it!

Sir Arthur Daley

anncoates wrote: »

Can see why people think cash gifts are crass but I'd prefer to give it than a gift.

So often, gifts are about the giver, that is, what the giver thinks constitutes a unique gift and not what is practical or what the receiving person actually wants.

Fair enough the recent trend in cash gifts may be as much about the cost of crassly indulgent weddings as much as anything but I honestly think a lot of it is a tacit acceptance that no matter how much you think your gift is lovely and unique and special, it basically amounts to anything between 50 - 250 gifts - with dozens of duplicate gifts - for the couple that they either don't want, need or simply have no room for.

Exactly like what is a couple going to do with 20 toasters, 19 kettles, 8 plate sets, 12 cutlery sets and 4 George foreman. Cash is the way to go.

anncoates

awec wrote: »

This is why wedding lists are great.

So long as your list has a good variety of differently priced items on it!

If you're basically telling people what to buy you, it's hardly that far off asking for cash both in terms of bluntness and in contravention of the holy mantra of "unique" gifts.

Not that I agree with asking directly for either. We didn't specify anything for our wedding. I would have been mortified to either ask for cash or make a wedding list.

As a wedding guest, cash gifts are a relief for me tbh and about 90% of our guests appeared to agree.

awec

anncoates wrote: »

If you're basically telling people what yo buy you, it's not that far off asking for cash both in terms of bluntness and in contravention of the holy mantra of "unique" gifts.

I don't think it's blunt tbh, I think it's helpful.

It's like a "if you are thinking of getting us a gift, here are a list of items that we need. This helps you know that you are not spending 50 quid on a bread bin that will sit in the attic until the other 5 bread bins we got all break."

I think the secret to a wedding list is to have a huge variety on it, from the gifts that cost a tenner to the gifts that cost a few hundred.

And of course, you aren't forced to buy off it.

The last 2 or 3 weddings I've been at have had gifts and honestly it's far better for guests. Much less hassle, and you don't even have to bring it on the day!

anncoates

awec wrote: »

I don't think it's blunt tbh, I think it's helpful.

Fair enough but I'd be mortified to specify what people bought or, indeed, gave in cash.

I really don't see how it's quantitatively different than just asking for the equivalent price of the gift in cash in terms of bluntness.

April O Neill II

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

Or you could go and not give a present.

The cost of going abroad to a wedding far outweighs the cost of a gift. Let's not pretend it's like for like here. I'm sure going to a wedding abroad is a great experience, I'd like to experience it some day, but it costs a LOT so I hope I don't get invited to one in the next few years. :P

Crea

We did a gift list. Husbands family aren't from Ireland and didn't want to fly in with gifts so asked us to do one. We didn't put the list into the invite though. If anyone asked us what we wanted we told them about it so they could get ideas from that. Prices were from €30 - €200. Most items were under €100

Sir Arthur Daley

April O Neill II wrote: »

The cost of going abroad to a wedding far outweighs the cost of a gift. Let's not pretend it's like for like here. I'm sure going to a wedding abroad is a great experience, I'd like to experience it some day, but it costs a LOT so I hope I don't get invited to one in the next few years. :P

Most weddings abroad are small family ones, very few invite 3/4s of the parish with them.

awec

Crea wrote: »

We did a gift list. Husbands family aren't from Ireland and didn't want to fly in with gifts so asked us to do one. We didn't put the list into the invite though. If anyone asked us what we wanted we told them about it so they could get ideas from that. Prices were from €30 - €200. Most items were under €100

This is it really. People end up asking what you need anyway.

Crea

April O Neill II wrote: »

The cost of going abroad to a wedding far outweighs the cost of a gift. Let's not pretend it's like for like here. I'm sure going to a wedding abroad is a great experience, I'd like to experience it some day, but it costs a LOT so I hope I don't get invited to one in the next few years. :P

My brother is going out with a girl from France. We are all hoping they don't get engaged anytime soon as no one could afford a wedding abroad at the moment.

Sir Arthur Daley

One will always find money for unexpected wedding invites, we all spend x amount of money every week on non essentials that could be saved to cover the cost of a wedding.

April O Neill II

WikiHow wrote: »

And i wouldn't let them keep the toy from the happy meal either, nothing worse than free loaders at weddings, at low water 50 euro for a guest.

Blatant troll.

Sir Arthur Daley

April O Neill II wrote: »

Blatant troll.

I dont know what toy will be in them, is that your guess?

anncoates

awec wrote: »

This is it really. People end up asking what you need anyway.

Do they?

In my experience,nobody does/did that but everybody searches high and low for a unique gift for you which is great but you need to rent a lock up to store all the unique gifts in after the wedding.

April O Neill II

WikiHow wrote: »

Most weddings abroad are small family ones, very few invite 3/4s of the parish with them.

Eh, no, maybe I didn't make myself clear, I meant the cost of attending a foreign wedding is more expensive to attend than a gift would usually be here for the GUEST. It doesn't matter how many or how few people are invited, the costs are still huge for each individual guest. Couples often talk about how weddings abroad are cheaper. They're not, you're just passing the cost onto your guests.

Sir Arthur Daley

April O Neill II wrote: »

Eh, no, maybe I didn't make myself clear, I meant the cost of attending a foreign wedding is more expensive to attend than a gift would usually be here for the GUEST.

ok ok my bad.

April O Neill II

WikiHow wrote: »

One will always find money for unexpected wedding invites, we all spend x amount of money every week on non essentials that could be saved to cover the cost of a wedding.

I would never specifically save to attend someone's wedding, it's just not that important to me. I prefer the weekly non-essentials.

awec

anncoates wrote: »

Do they?

In my experience,nobody does/did that but everybody searches high and low for a unique gift for you which is great but you need to rent a lock up to store all the unique gifts in after the wedding.

Well I always do!

I'm not married though, so haven't gone through it! :pac:

Sir Arthur Daley

If i had not the cash for a present i would look around the home for a present, e.g a nice waterford crystal piece, a kitchen knife set etc, i feel giving a gift would be a nicer way of offering in this case.

monkeynuz

My being there is gift enough!

SV

Nialler15 wrote: »

About 50??? Your kidding me right?

Last 3 weddings I was at were minimum 100 per head.

Must have been posh weddings so. Three hotels where I live each doing it for 35 a head.

Crea

Would people give more money if the wedding was in a very posh hotel rather than a standard hotel?

Sir Arthur Daley

SV wrote: »

Must have been posh weddings so. Three hotels where I live each doing it for 35 a head.

You have to factor in more than the hotel.

Sir Arthur Daley

Crea wrote: »

Would people give more money if the wedding was in a very posh hotel rather than a standard hotel?

I would think not, just my opinion.

Electric Sheep

WikiHow wrote: »

If all i had to bring to a wedding as a gift was 10 euro i would not be expecting a 4 course dinner offered to me or complimentary drinks, a happy meal from MacDonalds is what would be appropriate.

So I am guessing your guest list was based on the ability to pay. Stay classy!

Sir Arthur Daley

People are taking this away too serious altogether, there will be a difference in opinions on how much cash is appropriate or should a gift be a better solution or a George foreman, ur being invited to a wedding it is costing the hosts over 50 euro per head, they have to pay for it some way i dont think the hotel would accept 40 George foremans or 20 kettles and 19 ironing boards as payment, at the end of the day we have to be practical about it.

ulinbac

Going to my bros wedding in a few months and I am best man.

The couple will get €200 from me max and something else separately for my bro (maybe €50). Can I afford more, yes, but would he expect a large amount, no.

We help each other out in many ways, as well as financially. They do not expect specific amounts as presents and have kept the wedding small, planning it like they will not receive any presents. They are planning what they can afford and having people that they want there. Obviously they will get monetary presents. This crap of inviting 200+ just for money or one-upmanship like "I invited more people to my wedding than you, "I received more money than you" or "I gave a bigger present than you" is quite sad and not representative of the day.

There seems to be the element of keeping up with the Jones' going on saying that I like you better as I gave you this much, or I love my family more based on another amount.

The day is not an income generating exercise. If the couple don't like the amount of a cash present, shame on them. If you are judging your status/relationship with the couple based purely on cash, well then you might need to have a look at yourself. I'm not saying if you earn a lot you should only give €x, what I am saying is that if you or the couple are basing the wedding purely on gifts and cash, there won't be much hope for that marraige or external relationship.

Femme_Fatale

WikiHow wrote: »

People are taking this away too serious altogether, there will be a difference in opinions on how much cash is appropriate or should a gift be a better solution or a George foreman, ur being invited to a wedding it is costing the hosts over 50 euro per head, they have to pay for it some way i dont think the hotel would accept 40 George foremans or 20 kettles and 19 ironing boards as payment, at the end of the day we have to be practical about it.

Giving cash is grand - it's what I always give. I think people are just objecting to the notion that a person is a freeloader or tight if they don't give a certain amount, when it's often simply the case that they can't afford it. And this should not be an issue to any bride/groom, seeing as guests should ideally be people they want to have there, rather than bodies to reimburse the costs of the wedding - which the bride/groom choose to have.

I have no doubt that most people would like to be as generous as they can afford to be, and that is plenty.

April O Neill II

WikiHow wrote: »

People are taking this away too serious altogether, there will be a difference in opinions on how much cash is appropriate or should a gift be a better solution or a George foreman, ur being invited to a wedding it is costing the hosts over 50 euro per head, they have to pay for it some way i dont think the hotel would accept 40 George foremans or 20 kettles and 19 ironing boards as payment, at the end of the day we have to be practical about it.

Well no, couples tend to pay for the party they are hosting and inviting people to with money. Can't afford it without gifts? Don't do it. As said earlier, it costs 150 euro to get married in this country. That's all. Anything else is an extra.