Preparing dog for new baby

ncmc

Hello all, I have a seven year old Cocker Spaniel who isn’t great with strangers or children. She gets very scared if strangers approach her and she has snapped at kids in the past when cornered. She is fine if she is out in the open and can get away and approach people in her own time and she is fine with older kids as you can ask them just to leave her a while and she will approach them when she gets used to them. The problems we have had in the past have been with younger kids (toddlers) who don’t understand when you ask them to leave her alone. She has never bitten thankfully, but she has snapped as a warning and that obviously has given the child (and the parent) a shock. She has improved in recent years as we have made more of an effort to socialise her both with adults and children but I still wouldn’t be comfortable with her around young kids so I just tend to put her in another room if we have young visitors. She is an absolute pet once she gets to know a person and is very loving and gives lots of hugs, it’s just the mistrust of children that is the problem.

All this hasn’t been much of a problem in the past as it has just been myself and my husband in the house. But we are now expecting our first baby and I want to try and prepare the ground with the dog to accept the new arrival. I am not overly concerned with her reaction to the newborn as she actually has no interest in children unless they approach her, I would trust her more with my very young nieces and nephews than the toddlers. I expect her to give the new baby a couple of sniffs and then go about her business. But I am just worried about a little further down the line when the baby is a bit more mobile and can go after the dog. I know that a dog can never be trusted 100% with a child and I obviously wouldn’t leave the dog and child alone, but I don’t want to live on my nerves either. Is there any way I can prepare my dog to be more accepting of the baby? The dog is very spoiled and I know that we are to blame for her behaviour issues, so I want to make this transition as easy as possible for both us and the dog. For example, she currently sleeps on our bed. This won’t be a goer when the baby arrives, so should we be encouraging her to sleep in her own bed now so she doesn’t equate the arrival of the baby with being kicked off the bed?

Any advice on how people have dealt with this sort of thing in the past would be very much appreciated.

VonVix

I think trying to get the dog to not sleep in your room at all may be the best, you can start from trying to get her to sleep in her own bed next to yours, then gradually move that bed further and further out of your room (making sure that she has made a solid transition to sleeping her own bed first before changing anything) until she is sleeping comfortably in the next room/hallway/wherever you feel is ideal.

How about doing a mock up of things you would do when the baby arrives?

Get a toy doll, a baby carrier seat, teach your dog to leave these things alone (being sure to teach kindly, and not making the dog associate these objects with punishment), or even being familiar with buggies and how they rattle or sound as they are pushed. However, for all you know your dog may easily bond to your child and be gentle with it as your dog will be seeing it grow gradually. As long as you introduce each thing regularly and with patience as well as treats things may fall into place.

Try to never be tense with your dog, your dog will pick up on that. You want to make sure she does not sense tenseness/stress from you whenever you have your baby with you, your dog can pick up the chemicals you release and begin to believe that has to do with the baby.

For the future, when the baby arrives, reward good behaviour from your dog. Keep treats on you. Avoid any scolding where possible, you want the baby to be a positive thing to be around, not something for her to associate as a reason for punishment/something happening she doesn't like.

See, dogs don't see children as small humans, they see them as a totally different species, in the early days with a dog people pretty much need to socialise them with women, men, children and dogs as separate things and not expect that if they get along okay with one type of human, that they'll be fine with all types. I know it's a bit late in that respect with you, but it's good information for all!

Millem

ncmc wrote: »

Hello all, I have a seven year old Cocker Spaniel who isn’t great with strangers or children. She gets very scared if strangers approach her and she has snapped at kids in the past when cornered. She is fine if she is out in the open and can get away and approach people in her own time and she is fine with older kids as you can ask them just to leave her a while and she will approach them when she gets used to them. The problems we have had in the past have been with younger kids (toddlers) who don’t understand when you ask them to leave her alone. She has never bitten thankfully, but she has snapped as a warning and that obviously has given the child (and the parent) a shock. She has improved in recent years as we have made more of an effort to socialise her both with adults and children but I still wouldn’t be comfortable with her around young kids so I just tend to put her in another room if we have young visitors. She is an absolute pet once she gets to know a person and is very loving and gives lots of hugs, it’s just the mistrust of children that is the problem.

All this hasn’t been much of a problem in the past as it has just been myself and my husband in the house. But we are now expecting our first baby and I want to try and prepare the ground with the dog to accept the new arrival. I am not overly concerned with her reaction to the newborn as she actually has no interest in children unless they approach her, I would trust her more with my very young nieces and nephews than the toddlers. I expect her to give the new baby a couple of sniffs and then go about her business. But I am just worried about a little further down the line when the baby is a bit more mobile and can go after the dog. I know that a dog can never be trusted 100% with a child and I obviously wouldn’t leave the dog and child alone, but I don’t want to live on my nerves either. Is there any way I can prepare my dog to be more accepting of the baby? The dog is very spoiled and I know that we are to blame for her behaviour issues, so I want to make this transition as easy as possible for both us and the dog. For example, she currently sleeps on our bed. This won’t be a goer when the baby arrives, so should we be encouraging her to sleep in her own bed now so she doesn’t equate the arrival of the baby with being kicked off the bed?

Any advice on how people have dealt with this sort of thing in the past would be very much appreciated.

I am due in January and have 3 labs age 5,6 and 11. I have had all the baby stuff set up for a good while now so dogs are well used to the cot, Moses basket and buggy etc. I have baby's room set up
And let the dogs go in for a good sniff (they actually don't bother anymore!). Since I found out I was pregnant I have tried to be strict with them eg they are not allowed sit on my knee anymore lol lol!! In fairness the youngest one used to love sitting on my knee but actually doesn't want to anymore! Maybe she can sense pregnancy! When I walk them I attach them all together so I can walk them with one hand as I need to be able to push the pram with the other! As for sleeping in the room I am not kicking them out, they sleep through the night no problem. I plan on putting a locker in front of Moses basket as the older dog is blind and could be in danger of banging into it! I have a baby gate on bedroom and they are used to being locked out of room at certain times! We were actually quite lucky as we moved house as soon as we got pregnant so new house new rules!

TooManyDogs

I had 6 dogs in the house when I had my baby. Mine were fine with children but to have a child living in the house was going to be a totally different senario.

Here's what I did to prepare them.

I re-enforced all their basic obedience, particularly 'Bed', 'Stay' and 'Leave it'. I got them used to walking with a buggy before the baby actually arrived so that wouldn't be an extra stress for me. They weren't allowed cross the threshold into the baby's room or go near the moses basket or baby toys. I didn't get any ball toys for the baby because that would have been a step too far I got a baby gym with sides about 1 foot tall to make a clear differentiation between the vet beds and the baby's gym so it was far easier to stop them creeping in for a snooze.

I guess the biggest thing I did that most other people don't do is that I didn't let my dogs get anywhere near my baby, and I mean within in 6 - 10ft until she was at least 8 months old. It sounds strange and most people love taking the cute newborn baby & dog photos but I learned it from the pregnant foster dogs I had over the years. I'd often have them before they gave birth and they got on great with my dogs. However as soon as they had the pups they demanded a dog-free zone around their pups, and my dogs obeyed with absolutely no question or offence. Gradually as the pups got older the diameter of the zone reduced until the mother dog was happy to leave one of mine babysitting sometimes. I basically did the same, for the following reasons.
1. I was not bringing my baby home to 1 or 2 dogs, I was bringing my baby home to a pack of 6 indoor dogs. I couldn't take the risk of anything kicking off and the pack reacting as one

2. I needed to know that my dogs understood fully that this was my baby and not theirs. I knew it wouldn't be an issue until the baby started crawling around but I had to be sure that they knew that if the baby needed biting that I'd bite the baby myself and no need to concern themselves with correcting my baby's behaviour (obviously I never bit my baby ) To this day my dogs have only once defended my baby, and that was when I was about 50ft from her buggy and never would have made it back in time.

When she did start crawling if I saw any signs of any dog being uncomfortable with her approaching I asked them to move into a secure den that I had created down the back of the room. Likewise if I heard them growl I asked them to move to the den. I know that theory is not to tell them not to growl because you're cutting out a warning sign, but it's impossible to correct a 6 month old baby, and human and canine have very different languages. The dogs understand far more than the baby did so I asked them to go to the den where there would be treats and chews, so very quickly if the felt uncomfortable they just took themselves off to the den and felt safe. The den was secured such that my baby couldn't get near it or into it and it's only recently that I've de-constructed it but my girl is nearly 4 now.

The other rule I stuck to rigidly was to never ever leave the dogs on their own with my girl, I still don't, I haven't had a pee on my own!!!

Exercise is going to be your best friend when it comes to getting your dog used to anything new. Tired dogs are far calmer and adjust to new things far quicker. So particularly when you first come home with your baby if any family/friends/neighbours offer to help with the baby hand them a dog lead and poo bag, I promise it'll make your life so much easier.

If you're worried about jealousy when visitors come over I'd re-enforce your 'Bed' command and get a load of kongs. So the pattern becomes, Ding-dong - dog dives into bed - Kong - loads of quiet time and peaceful visit

The result for me now is that I have 6 dogs who adore my little girl, and she adores them but they've never once taken liberty or stepped over the mark. She sounds like a mini-me training them and is bomb proof around strange dogs

Very best of luck with the baby

ncmc

Thanks so much for the great replies, some fantastic practical information there. I think i'll be continuing to allow her to sleep in our room, I would feel guilty kicking her out. She's a real pet and she just wants to be with us all the time, I think it would cause her a lot of anxiety to be seperated from us at night. But she definitely needs to stay in her own bed. At the moment she lasts about 30 seconds in her own bed and then she's hopped up on ours! Rewarding her with treats to stay in her own bed sounds like a plan. I'll also make sure she gets used to the babies things around the place before the baby arrives. I've heard of people sending worn baby gros etc home to let the dog sniff, is there any point in doing this?

Toomanydogs, that's interesting about keeping a 'zone' around the baby. I would have presumed it was better to get the dog used to being around the baby, but when you explain it like that, it makes perfect sense to recreate what the dog would be used to in the wild. Although I think Libby may be more human than dog at this stage!

I am really hopeful that by the time the baby is old enough to interact with the dog, that the dog will consider her 'one of her own' but I do want to make the transition as seamless for everyone as possible. Thanks again for all the great advice.

cocker5

ncmc,

Just wanted to add I know you mentioned that as they baby grows you hope your dog will see your baby as one for her own etc - but im going to be very honest and say your cocker is already 7 and isnt too keen or not comfortable around young children, this will not improve with age IMO.

I can see it with my own cocker (nearly 9), now he adores kids / babies all people really, never growled or so much a shown his teeth etc BUT as of late we have had an 18 month old arouund who is OBSESSED with my dog, running around after him, dragging out of him etc (yes parents are stupid), i have tried to explain to him to leave the dog alone and tried to enforce it infact but the parents thinks its cute (now i know you wont allow this), I can see my guy getting stressed, sloughing away form the baby, and hiding behind my legs as my reaction is to remove him from the situation, I put him out or else tell his parents to control their kid...

My point is while he has always been AMAZING with humans of all ages, as he has aged I can see a small change in him, not with kids but younger babies he now feels uncomfortable... maybe he has less patience, maybe he now doesnt like the screeching either way i can see a slight change as he has gotten older.

i suppose like all of us as we grow older we become less patient

another thing IMO at some point you will have to remove your dog from the bed... its faaaaaar better to slowly introduce this now then when a baby arrives, this wil mean way too much change in routine for your dog and give her mixed signals about the new arrival.

Honestly start it now, yes it will upset her but she'll ge over it, better now before the baby than after - trust me.

Best of luck with you pregancy and your lovely cocker...

BTW... its an animal form post a pic....... of your cocker :P

ncmc

cocker5 wrote: »

ncmc,

Just wanted to add I know you mentioned that as they baby grows you hope your dog will see your baby as one for her own etc - but im going to be very honest and say your cocker is already 7 and isnt too keen or not comfortable around young children, this will not improve with age IMO.

I can see it with my own cocker (nearly 9), now he adores kids / babies all people really, never growled or so much a shown his teeth etc BUT as of late we have had an 18 month old arouund who is OBSESSED with my dog, running around after him, dragging out of him etc (yes parents are stupid), i have tried to explain to him to leave the dog alone and tried to enforce it infact but the parents thinks its cute (now i know you wont allow this), I can see my guy getting stressed, sloughing away form the baby, and hiding behind my legs as my reaction is to remove him from the situation, I put him out or else tell his parents to control their kid...

My point is while he has always been AMAZING with humans of all ages, as he has aged I can see a small change in him, not with kids but younger babies he now feels uncomfortable... maybe he has less patience, maybe he now doesnt like the screeching either way i can see a slight change as he has gotten older.

i suppose like all of us as we grow older we become less patient

another thing IMO at some point you will have to remove your dog from the bed... its faaaaaar better to slowly introduce this now then when a baby arrives, this wil mean way too much change in routine for your dog and give her mixed signals about the new arrival.

Honestly start it now, yes it will upset her but she'll ge over it, better now before the baby than after - trust me.

Best of luck with you pregancy and your lovely cocker...

BTW... its an animal form post a pic....... of your cocker :P

This is exactly what Libby does when approached by a young child, so that’s why I just don’t let her near young kids normally. Funny, in her case, she has improved a bit as she has gotten older as we’ve made an effort to socialise her a bit more. For example, instead of putting her in a kennel, my in-laws mind her and there are lots of kids/adults/dogs coming and going there. She has got to a stage where she is pretty used to the kids over there and there is a sort of mutual ignoring going on! But again, I never feel 100% with her with kids.

But I do see your point about her being older and less open to change, she will be almost 8 when the baby arrives so I do have to be cautious of her being older and a bit more cantankerous. I think Toomanydogs suggestion of a safe ‘den’ is a super one. I could set her up a little area behind the TV that would be a safe zone for her from grabbing hands.

And of course I am only too happy to post pics of my beautiful lady!

cocker5

Honestly that must be the sweetest cocker's face i have ever seen!! And i adore my guy and thought he was the cutest (nost attractive cocker) ever.... until now that is!

I can tell you she still looks like a pup :P, she is gorgeous!!


Best of luck with everything Im sure it will all work out fine!!

Just keep a close eye on her signals , give her her safe "baby free" area and when your baby is growing try and teach him / her how to interact accordingly with animals and youll be fine.

here's my guy... in the second one he is shwoing his age unlike your little one!

Best of luck X

ncmc

cocker5 wrote: »

Honestly that must be the sweetest cocker's face i have ever seen!! And i adore my guy and thought he was the cutest (nost attractive cocker) ever.... until now that is!

I can tell you she still looks like a pup :P, she is gorgeous!!


Best of luck with everything Im sure it will all work out fine!!

Just keep a close eye on her signals , give her her safe "baby free" area and when your baby is growing try and teach him / her how to interact accordingly with animals and youll be fine.

here's my guy... in the second one he is shwoing his age unlike your little one!

Best of luck X

Oh he is amazing! His coat is fantastic, that first pic is like something you'd see in a dog food ad!

My pic was taken last summer and i've been told recently that she's started to look a little older. I just tell them that she's had blonde highlights round her muzzle! I still think she looks like a pup when she's been freshly groomed and people still assume she's a puppy when we are out and about. Bar the fact that she's turned into a bit of a lazy sod, I still think she's a puppy myself!

TooManyDogs

ncmc wrote: »

I'll also make sure she gets used to the babies things around the place before the baby arrives. I've heard of people sending worn baby gros etc home to let the dog sniff, is there any point in doing this?

I've heard a couple of different ideas for doing this.

1. To get them familiar with the scent, some people leave the babygrow in the dogs bed so the dog can become really used to having that scent close to them. For me personally I don't like this idea, I think it can give a certain degree of over-familiarity with that particular scent (bearing in mind always that I was dealing with a pack situation so was being very careful)

2. The other idea is that you introduce the scent, let them have a sniff but then teach them to keep a certain distance away from that scent and reward heavily for keeping their distance. This was more the direction I took.

cocker5 wrote: »

Just wanted to add I know you mentioned that as they baby grows you hope your dog will see your baby as one for her own etc - but im going to be very honest and say your cocker is already 7 and isnt too keen or not comfortable around young children, this will not improve with age IMO.

Just to give you a little hope about this situation. I have a spaniel x who was terrified of children and would also hide behind my legs. Now she never snapped but would try to climb walls if they cornered her. I was constantly keeping her away from kids but then my cousin had a baby who spent a lot of time in my house, Ellie had plenty of opportunity to get familiar with him as a baby and gradually see the changes as he began to crawl and walk. He was in my house so much that he became oblivious to the dogs so had absolutely zero interest in them. This gave Ellie the space she needed to watch and get used to this little alien creature and she's now absolutely bomb proof around children. I think it was the constant time spend with a child she saw from the very beginning and saw gradual changes that allowed her get over her fears. Obviously every dog is different and there's no guarantee but Ellie was 5 when my cousins baby arrived so not young either.

mikeoh

We gave a used baby grow to our golden retriever while baby still in maternity .....reaction was amazing she took it ran down hall up on a bed and laid it on her belly and licked it cleaned it as if it was a new born pup...she was perfect with baby when he came home so gentle