Where do you move out when moving out from parents?

moving out

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

OP the reason I mention the other factors should be a priority is because you can't, and won't, be having sex 24/7. You will need to pay rent, shop, use public transport, if the house has no washing machine you will need to bring your clothes to a laundrette. You will also need to get along with your housemates. These are the things you need to consider when renting or buying.

BTW I'm female.

Those other factors are a priority.

Stavro Mueller

Years ago I shared a house for a while with a girl who seemed to pull every night she went out. And she went out a lot! I'm no prude but I got sick of having a seemingly endless trail of random men traipsing through the house. Especially when all I wanted was a good night's sleep, not having to listen to shagging going on through the walls etc. Or meeting these men I didn't know from Adam in the kitchen, on the landing... It wasn't just me who got fed up of it either - my other housemate was as sick of her as I was.

I just wonder how you're going to interact with your flatmates. I can see it ending in tears. Aside from the sex issue which is priority no. 1 with you, how good are you at interacting with other people. Or are you planning on living in the bedroom and never talking to the others? Should be fun!

Chareth Cutestory

If you do end up bringing one or two different girls back to the place you will be renting every week (as is your intention) then chances are you may not be living there all that long. That's something else you need to factor in; consideration for the people you'll be sharing with. This could lead you back to the position you're in right now but having wasted some time, effort, and money.

It may be very difficult but i think you need to try not let your libido influence your decisions so much. I think sex is important to most people, but mature adults do not use it as a basis for making important life decisions.

moving out

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

You will need to pay rent, shop, use public transport, if the house has no washing machine you will need to bring your clothes to a laundrette.

What else? Also, with regards to paying rent, how would that usually happen?

moving out

cymbaline wrote: »

Years ago I shared a house for a while with a girl who seemed to pull every night she went out. And she went out a lot! I'm no prude but I got sick of having a seemingly endless trail of random men traipsing through the house. Especially when all I wanted was a good night's sleep, not having to listen to shagging going on through the walls etc. Or meeting these men I didn't know from Adam in the kitchen, on the landing... It wasn't just me who got fed up of it either - my other housemate was as sick of her as I was.

Just out of curiosity, can you describe her appearance and tell me how you would rate her?

I just wonder how you're going to interact with your flatmates. I can see it ending in tears. Aside from the sex issue which is priority no. 1 with you, how good are you at interacting with other people. Or are you planning on living in the bedroom and never talking to the others? Should be fun!

I am an agreeable person and generally get along with people until the conversation dies down because I've ran out of things to talk about. My skills are always increasing but at a slower rate than most other people.

sligoface

OP, based on your difficulties in understanding basic rent and accomodation issues, and more importantly, some of your responses to other posters, I think you are not ready for the responsibility involved and would have trouble sharing with people you don't know. If you approach your houseshare with the same attitudes you have in this forum, your future housemates might have quite a bit of difficulty understanding and accepting you.

My cousin who is autistic and just started college, has had similar difficulties sharing houses as he lacks certain common social skills and doesn't pick up social cues, takes everything literally and can be very stubborn. It took a while for him to find some place he fits in. Not saying you are the same as him just because you both have autism, and you obviously have some sort of social skills if you are picking up women all the time, but based on what you have written I can see some similarities in the strict logical thinking. I know with my cousin's difficulties, he doesn't see it himself but it is very obvious to others he spends time with that he is a little different, and some people didn't accept him. We sometimes have to explain to him why you can't say certain things to people or why he can't expect others to do things his way or think like him.

And he didn't even have the added issue that his sole reason for moving out was to have a little sex-cave. He just wanted to prove he could be independent, and felt he was ready to be independent.

It doesn't appear you are thinking much about how you would be in a houseshare situation with people who have never met you. When i shared houses, after some time me and the housemates wanted a quiet place, and any new housemate who disrupted that was given the choice of cool it or leave. Of course, when I was younger, we were all it and didn't care what you did. However, keep in mind that the young 'jack-the-lad' types who would be fine with you bringing home loads of chicks are precisely NOT the types who are most likely to be accepting of someone who is a little different. In fact, they are more likely to be cruel to someone who is different. People who are likely to be more accepting of someone with autism will most likely be the types who desire a quiet house with a minimum of noise from late night sexual encounters.

If you must move out OP, think about those things. Living away from home is not just all about unlimited sex. If only...

trio

moving out wrote: »

Just out of curiosity, can you describe her appearance and tell me how you would rate her?

Dude, don't be gross. This isn't Reddit.

Get a cheap bedsit near transport links. Then you can get all the hole you want and nobody will bother you.

Boombastic

moving out wrote: »

Just out of curiosity, can you describe her appearance and tell me how you would rate her?

.

Can you explain the relevance of the above comment?

I think you need to reassess how you view women and relationships,

Big Bag of Chips

moving out wrote: »

Just out of curiosity, can you describe her appearance and tell me how you would rate her?

moving out - I am mindful of your autistic diagnosis, but you have to be mindful of our Forum Charter. Asking the above question is inappropriate, off topic and is not relevant to your post of where you should look for places to live.

Please read the Forum Charter and abide by the rules laid out in it. If you don't you will find your thread locked.

If other posters have an issue with a post or comment made, please report it an let the moderators deal with it. Commenting on it is considered off topic, and can result in warnings and bans.

moving out

sligoface wrote: »

OP, based on your difficulties in understanding basic rent and accomodation issues, and more importantly, some of your responses to other posters, I think you are not ready for the responsibility involved and would have trouble sharing with people you don't know. If you approach your houseshare with the same attitudes you have in this forum, your future housemates might have quite a bit of difficulty understanding and accepting you.

That may be so but that's why I created this thread, because I don't want to jump into it straight away without some research. Also, there is no training available for this so the only way to become better is actual experience. If I can't get experience with moving without moving out then I'll be living with my parents forever.

My cousin who is autistic and just started college, has had similar difficulties sharing houses as he lacks certain common social skills and doesn't pick up social cues, takes everything literally and can be very stubborn. It took a while for him to find some place he fits in. Not saying you are the same as him just because you both have autism, and you obviously have some sort of social skills if you are picking up women all the time, but based on what you have written I can see some similarities in the strict logical thinking. I know with my cousin's difficulties, he doesn't see it himself but it is very obvious to others he spends time with that he is a little different, and some people didn't accept him. We sometimes have to explain to him why you can't say certain things to people or why he can't expect others to do things his way or think like him.

I get along with people in real life.

And he didn't even have the added issue that his sole reason for moving out was to have a little sex-cave. He just wanted to prove he could be independent, and felt he was ready to be independent.

It doesn't appear you are thinking much about how you would be in a houseshare situation with people who have never met you.

I think about the but ultimately I won't be able to know exactly how a person behaves until I am living with them. Their first or second impressions could be good but then they could turn out to be bad people afterwards.

When i shared houses, after some time me and the housemates wanted a quiet place, and any new housemate who disrupted that was given the choice of cool it or leave. Of course, when I was younger, we were all it and didn't care what you did. However, keep in mind that the young 'jack-the-lad' types who would be fine with you bringing home loads of chicks are precisely NOT the types who are most likely to be accepting of someone who is a little different. In fact, they are more likely to be cruel to someone who is different.

I don't have a debilitating condition that makes me noticeably different, people just say I'm "quiet". I've seen full-blown autists who appear mentally retarded (even though they aren't) and I suspect your cousin was one of these. For the most part I blend in fine and I'm pretty normal. Few people are mean to me, including the type of people you're talking about.

People who are likely to be more accepting of someone with autism will most likely be the types who desire a quiet house with a minimum of noise from late night sexual encounters.

What makes you think that?

If you must move out OP, think about those things. Living away from home is not just all about unlimited sex. If only...

sligoface

moving out wrote: »

Just out of curiosity, can you describe her appearance and tell me how you would rate her?


I am an agreeable person and generally get along with people until the conversation dies down because I've ran out of things to talk about. My skills are always increasing but at a slower rate than most other people.

Just read this and your other posts written while i wrote my last one which was a bit long, and i'm sorry but i think i have to be more blunt: your skills have not increased to the point where most people would enjoy living with you, they will most likely think you're a bit strange and immature/creepy in regards to your attitudes towards women, and when you start waking them up at all hours of the night with your one night stands they will want rid of you ASAP. Stay home for now.

ElleEm

OP, how are your basic life skills? Can you budget well? Are you a good cook? Can you do laundry? Do you do housework? All of these things are very important when living independently. How do you plan on funding your rent and paying your bills? Do you know how to pay bills? Have you discussed moving out with your parents? Do they think you are ready?

These are all very practical things, but your personality and mannerisms are also very important. When sharing a home, one must be respectful of others. People don't like strangers coming through their home frequently. You also need to work on building relationships with others. How do you think you would manage conflict in the home?

Are you recieving any support for your autism? Are there any supported lodgings or assisted living places you could look into? From your posts here, it really does not seem like you are ready to move into a shared house with no additional support.

moving out

trio wrote: »

Dude, don't be gross. This isn't Reddit.

Get a cheap bedsit near transport links. Then you can get all the hole you want and nobody will bother you.

Boombastic wrote: »

Can you explain the relevance of the above comment?

I think you need to reassess how you view women and relationships,

I think that women who have a lot of one-night-stands tend to be average women or below. Maybe I'm wrong about that. I wanted to know whether my guess was right. Since it appears to be against the rules, I guess I will never know.

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

moving out - I am mindful of your autistic diagnosis, but you have to be mindful of our Forum Charter. Asking the above question is inappropriate, off topic and is not relevant to your post of where you should look for places to live.

Please read the Forum Charter and abide by the rules laid out in it. If you don't you will find your thread locked.

If other posters have an issue with a post or comment made, please report it an let the moderators deal with it. Commenting on it is considered off topic, and can result in warnings and bans.

Understood.

moving out

ElleEm wrote: »

OP, how are your basic life skills? Can you budget well? Are you a good cook? Can you do laundry? Do you do housework? All of these things are very important when living independently. How do you plan on funding your rent and paying your bills? Do you know how to pay bills? Have you discussed moving out with your parents? Do they think you are ready?

I do all these things except for dealing with money, which I'm trying to understand better and prepare for.

These are all very practical things, but your personality and mannerisms are also very important. When sharing a home, one must be respectful of others. People don't like strangers coming through their home frequently. You also need to work on building relationships with others. How do you think you would manage conflict in the home?

That could be anything. Give an example and I'll think about it.

Are you recieving any support for your autism? Are there any supported lodgings or assisted living places you could look into? From your posts here, it really does not seem like you are ready to move into a shared house with no additional support.

I receive no support and I think the things you are talking about are for people with serious disabilities that have a major impact on their lives.

Boombastic

moving out wrote: »

I do all these things except for dealing with money, which I'm trying to understand better and prepare for.

That could be anything. Give an example and I'll think about it.

I receive no support and I think the things you are talking about are for people with serious disabilities that have a major impact on their lives.

To understand money better, calculate the cost of what you would be paying in rent, bills etc and start paying it to your parents every month, or save that amount. This will give you practical experience of budgeting. Do all your own laundry, cook your own meals and organise yourself without the help of your parents. This will give you experience with the support of your parents to fall back on or to guide you until you understand what living independently entails.


Do you think you would be able to cope with an unplanned pregnancy with a one night stand with someone you don't know?

Meauldsegosha

moving out wrote: »

What else? Also, with regards to paying rent, how would that usually happen?

Well you will need a deposit, usually first & last months rent. This can be refundable. What is the area like, is it safe? There are threads about what to look for in the accommodation forum. Rent is normally paid by direct debit.

Edit: I see it's now been moved to that forum.

Big Bag of Chips

Thread has been moved to Accommodation & Property. This Forum Charter applies from here.

moving out

Boombastic wrote: »

To understand money better, calculate the cost of what you would be paying in rent, bills etc and start paying it to your parents every month, or save that amount. This will give you practical experience of budgeting. Do all your own laundry, cook your own meals and organise yourself without the help of your parents. This will give you experience with the support of your parents to fall back on or to guide you until you understand what living independently entails.

Yes, the budgeting is one thing but dealing with banks is another.

Do you think you would be able to cope with an unplanned pregnancy with a one night stand with someone you don't know?

I take the relevant precautions to avoid this.

my teapot is orange

OP, I would not be keen on changing my living arrangements in the middle of the final year of college. This is not a reflection on you personally. I don't think anybody should do it unless they absolutely have to. I have years of experience in house shares and it's 50/50 hit and miss with whether housemates are good or bad.

You can get people who want to party all the time, meaning you don't get to sleep/study properly. Don't underestimate the effect this has on studies. Also don't underestimate the time it takes to cook, clean, do laundry, do grocery shopping etc. I think that somebody with your high grades should play it safe and stay at home where you know you can continue this, then get yourself a job and move out. It's only six months. If you had a full time job, and with careful budgeting, you might be able to get your own place, depending on salary.

moving out

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

Well you will need a deposit, usually first & last months rent. This can be refundable. What is the area like, is it safe? There are threads about what to look for in the accommodation forum.

Yes, I always look at the area when I look at listings. I do not want an unsafe area.

Rent is normally paid by direct debit.

How do I figure this out?

Edit: I see it's now been moved to that forum.

wirelessdude01

OP, are you only getting a place so that you can bring women home?

athtrasna

OP, do yourself, the women of Dublin and any potential housemates a massive favour and stay at home until you can afford to rent a one bed apartment somewhere. You don't sound like an ideal candidate for shared accommodation. As others have said there are plenty of inexpensive hotels around to accommodate your priorities.

Boombastic

moving out wrote: »

Yes, the budgeting is one thing but dealing with banks is another.


I take the relevant precautions to avoid this.

Do you have a bank account? if not open up one. If you also have a credit union or some other savings account you could set up a direct debit to pay in to the savings account to give you practise of what's involved setting up direct debits/ withdrawing cash/ depositing cash/ checking statements etc. the landlord will advise you if he wants to be paid by direct debit and provide you with his details (in most instances, but it can vary)


You may take relevent precautions (glad to hear it!), but accidents still can happen

Meauldsegosha

moving out wrote: »

Yes, I always look at the area when I look at listings. I do not want an unsafe area.

How do I figure this out?

How the rent is to be paid will be stated in the lease. It will tell you what day of each month the rent must be paid on. When you sign the lease you will be given the landlords (or letting agents) bank details which you use to set up the direct debit.

moving out

my teapot is orange wrote: »

OP, I would not be keen on changing my living arrangements in the middle of the final year of college. This is not a reflection on you personally. I don't think anybody should do it unless they absolutely have to. I have years of experience in house shares and it's 50/50 hit and miss with whether housemates are good or bad.

You can get people who want to party all the time, meaning you don't get to sleep/study properly. Don't underestimate the effect this has on studies.

I don't but like I said before, I am already around a noisy environment and it's stressful as well. Also, if they want to party all the time that would be a good thing since I'd likely be able to join them.

Also don't underestimate the time it takes to cook, clean, do laundry, do grocery shopping etc.

I do all of these things already, although doing laundry for me just consists of keeping my clothes to be washed in a basket and then putting them in a washing machine followed by a dryer (and ironing shirts). Are you saying it's more complicated than this when I am living in a shared house (apart from bringing them to a launderette when there is no washing machine)?

I think that somebody with your high grades should play it safe and stay at home where you know you can continue this, then get yourself a job and move out. It's only six months.

moving out

Boombastic wrote: »

Do you have a bank account? if not open up one. If you also have a credit union or some other savings account you could set up a direct debit to pay in to the savings account to give you practise of what's involved setting up direct debits/ withdrawing cash/ depositing cash/ checking statements etc. the landlord will advise you if he wants to be paid by direct debit and provide you with his details (in most instances, but it can vary)

I do have a bank account but I'm not good when it comes to using it. How will I practice these things?

moving out

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

How the rent is to be paid will be stated in the lease. It will tell you what day of each month the rent must be paid on. When you sign the lease you will be given the landlords (or letting agents) bank details which you use to set up the direct debit.

Is there a page or guide that I could use so that I understand all of this?

Meauldsegosha

There is a sticky at the top of this forum, The Boards.ie quick and dirty renting guide. Have a read of that it will answer a lot if your questions.

Since it's moved to a different forum, you should probably leave the sex aspect aside and focus solely on the accommodation.

How you pay your rent largely depends on the accommodation - in the past I've had:
Rent paid monthly into the landlord's account through a direct debit set up through the bank.
Rent paid monthly into the landlord's account at their bank through a quick deposit machine.
Rent paid monthly to my housemate, whose name is on the lease and effectively sublets the rooms to us.
Rent paid weekly by leaving it in a safe for the landlord to collect.

moving out

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

There is a sticky at the top of this forum, The Boards.ie quick and dirty renting guide. Have a read of that it will answer a lot if your questions.

I'm talking more about the business and money language being thrown around. That sticky only introduced more.