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The (alternative) game awards 2013
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29-12-2013 3:49pm#1Join Date:Posts: 50747
Catchiest song of 2013:
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance final boss music.
Man this boss was tough but I didn't mind playing him over and over because of this track and singing along. Come on everyone 'Violence breeds violence!'.
The Kaz Hirai 'Riiiiddddgggeee Rrrrraaaccceerrr!' honourary award for biggest **** up at an industry event 2013:
The XBox One at E3. There's really nothing that hasn't been said about it at this stage.
The Sega Dreamcast deserves better award 2013:
The WiiU
It provided arguably this years best game in the form of Super Mario World 3D and has a great catalogue of games such as Pikmin 3, Wonderful 101, NSMB Wii and NES Remix that makes it finally worth buying.
People are more interested in a PS4 with Killzone and Knack
Most kick ass boss theme 2013:
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Sorry MGS Rising but this track is just too good:
People actually like this ****? award for 2013:
Killzone Shadow Fall
Killzone Shadow Fall continues the series tradition of being a technically stunning game with the worlds most mundane shooter gameplay.
'Thank you for the glitches, the joy they're bringing' award for 2013
Thank you Battlefield 4.
The David Cage award for ****ty writing in a videogame 2013:
Beyond: Two Souls
The Hideo Kojima 'Why won't they shut up!?!' award for 2013
Mario and Luigi: Dream Team
There's nothing that kills a RPG fast than poor pacing and there's nothing that contributes more t poor pacing than endless pointless dialogue. For a game starring a silent protagonist why is there so much dialogue.
'So Kawaii!!!' award 2013
Cat suit mario:
The Altered Beast 'Wise fwom ur gwave' award for miraculous recovery from life support 2013:
PS Vita
It's starting to sell quite well in Japan and has picked up in Western territories as well. It's also getting some great games released on it now. Fingers crossed it picks up a lot more in 2014 because there's an awful lot of great japanese games coming to it that I'd hate to miss out on.
Fur coat no knickers award for 2013
Ni No Kuni
You know all those things that people who don't know anything about JRPGs say are wrong with JRPGs? Things that simply don't exist in the genre anymore. Well Ni No Kuni bucks that trend with gameplay that pretty much represents everything wrong with JRPGs. Terrible combat, uninteresting storyline, boring sidequests, grinding (FFS in this day and age!) and puzzles that aren't really puzzles because it tells you how to complete them anyway.
But my god does it look and sound beautiful.
Go play Bravely Default, Fire Emblem, Shin Megami Tensei IV, etc. instead.
You're doing it wrong award of 2013
Castlevania Mirror of Fate
Seemingly this game was made by a team that thinks they know how to make a metroidvania yet really doesn't. The abilities you collect should add to your own combat and movement options as well as opening new areas. In Mirror of Fate they might as well be key cards since they mostly serve one purpose. Also the combat sucks.
The Die Hard 4.0 award for most ridiculous helicopter take down of 2013:
Call of Duty Ghosts:
The Civilisation 2 award for 'it's 6am but I can't stop playing' 2013:
Rogue Legacy.
I have a Rogue Legacy problem
'What am I supposed to feel?' award 2013:
Papers, please
I get what it's trying to do. However I worked in the passport office for a stint so all my empathy for the human race had already been worn away. Sorry but the Department of Foreign Affairs got there before you. (Great game btw)
Award for the most overly dramatic death scene in a game 2013
Last of Us
Big spoiler:That surgeon that went down like he was hit by a sniper rifle when I shot him in the toe. Man the **** up!
The Mara 'it's a penis in a chariot' award for most disturbing art design 2013:
Shin Megami Tensei IV's angel redesigns.
There's something really disturbing about how SMTIV depicts it's angels in the game. They look really alien which really suits them.
Best Nolan North performance 2013
The Last of Us
Biggest dick move 2013
Microtransactions in XBox One games.
Must have console 2013
3DS XL
PC is a close second with all the great indie games it received this year but the 3DS has just had such an amazing year and the XL redesign is a huge improvement over the normal 3DS.
Best hair 2013
Lara Croft and her new TressFX shampoo with amazing grim and blood repellent behaviour.
'Don't give up the day job' worst comedy routine 2013
GTAV
Great game but my god the 'adult' humour just grates. Maybe I need to be 15 again.
Best old school comeback 2013
Rise of the Triad
It's loud, stupid, features rocket jumping, enemies turn into gibs when hit with a rocket launcher, it's ridiculously fast and features actual level design. It reminds me why I used to love FPS games and reminds me as well why I'm so jaded by the latest offerings. All FPS games should be this fun.
Throwing your toys out of the pram award for best tantrum of 2013
The Phil Fish meltdown
Stupidest PR speak of 2013
A tie between Battlefield 4's Levelution and Forza 5's Drivatar.
Should have been terrible award 2013
DMC
By no means an amazing game but it was decent enough. The combat system was surprisingly good considering it came from the same team that made Heavenly Sword and Enslaved which both had god awful combat. Pity they somewhat ruined it later on with colour coded enemies but it was a decent stab as the genre.
Feel free to add your own or tell me how wrong I am.
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'A for Effort' Award - Jorji from Papers, Please
You're a dodgy bastard, Jorji, but here's a stamp for persistence and sense of humour. Always willing to endure the strip search and interrogation with a smile.
Most Videogamey House Award - Gone Home
While the Greenbriar house does give the impression of being lived in, the elaboratesystems of secret passagewaysare the kind that only exist in videogames, Hogwarts and medieval castles.
Award for Achievement in 'Awhh, So Adorable' - Attack of the Friday Monsters! A Tokyo Tale
Also recipient of the prestigious 'Should I start a new game just to watch the opening video again?' award.
Subtitles FTW Award - Level 5
A Japanese game should feature Japanese audio (see above). Drippy speaks in an Osakan accent, not Welsh. And so on.
Best Giraffes Award - The Last of Us
No elaboration needed.
Best Line - The Stanley Parable
Following a yellow line has never offered so many unexpected treats.
Best Use of the Song 'Convoy' in a Game - GTA5
Also - Best Appropriation of a Song from a Basically Forgotten Late 1990s Leonardo Di Caprio Film - GTA 5
Best User Interface - Device 6 / Year Walk
Simogo are fast proving themselves to be the most brilliant creators of inventive interfaces that brilliantly allow both the narrative and gameplay to gel together cohesively. Also, they just look amazing.
Bluest Sea Award - Assassins Creed IV: Black Flag
Strictly speaking, I don't really need to jump off this cliff into that gorgeous bright blue water. In fact, it actively puts me out of my way. But I'm going to do it anyway.
Worst Pokemon Award - Klefki
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johnny_ultimate wrote: »Thread = thinly veiled attempt for retr0 to promote Shin Megami Tensei / give out about Ni no Kuni yet again :pac:
SMTIV was actually a little disappointing despite me loving it. I'd say Fire Emblem is the better game and Bravely Default from what I heard is better again. SMTIV does a lot right, the new fusion system is a god send for the megaten series but it has a few niggles such as a god awful world map (saved by having the best music track this year), being kind of easy if you know what you are doing and concentrating on stat buffs/debuffs and some major story elements squirreled away in DLC which is a runner up for biggest dick move of 2013.
It's still really good just not a patch on Persona 4 or Nocturne.
Ni No Kuni though just isn't very good.
I must get around to playing attack of the friday monsters.
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Gummy Panda wrote: »Surely best comeback is shadow warrior
I liked Rise of the Triad more, although Shadow Warrior is a lot of fun. Rise of the Triad wins it because it actually plays like the old game, even right down to having levels being mostly flat since the original was based on the Wolf 3D engine and couldn't do different height levels. Oh and floaty collectibles!
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Best replacer of Minecraft as a digital wetnurse for my son:
Terraria,
I thought it was Spelunky, but Terraria has it beat, Minecraft doesn't get a look in when Terraria is on.
Next year I predict the winner of this category to be Rogue Legacy on the PS3!
Biggest provider of false hope
The Last Guardian
News broke the other day that it was spotted on PSN,
But you know they are just toying with us
A Link to lies, lies I tells ya!0 -
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