Terrible 2's - how did you handle it?

CaraMay

My son has recently turned two and his behaviour seemed to change overnight. His speech isn't great so I know a lot of it is frustration but everything seems to have gone out the window from eating to napping to sleep. I already feel worn out as we had a hard two years with him due to reflux and good intolerances and felt in recent months that things were finally calming down and now this.

What were your experiences of the terrible 2's and how did you handle them?

Synyster Shadow

Because there is a huge gap between me and all my sisters iv seen the terrible two's 4 times over and it was awful. I'm dreading my little fella and a year later baby 2 will hit it.

What worked for my parents was ignoring the tantrums and not eating phase (while keeping a close eye on safety and wellbeing)

It was a case of you don't eat this you don't get anything else and it's bed time so you cry I won't keep running in here. Horrible to go through but through time it got easier and tantrums less frequent.

It may be a way people say is not good for the child but at all times they are watched to make sure there ok. Just don't let them see the attention

liliq

My son was 2 a few months ago, and so far I think we've avoided the terrible part!

He is very wilful but I've found that picking my battles and giving him choices that are acceptable to me: 'do you want to wear these trousers or those trousers/ do you want peas or beans' etc gives him an element of control while I'm not really having to compromise.

Sometimes though, it is just easier to just put him into the car seat half dressed and finish dressing him at the end of the journey

There's nothing wrong with toddlers being assertive and wanting to make decisions. They're characteristics that are valued in adults, it's just a matter of finding a balance that allows them to be assertive and also allows you to parent.

dollybird2

Currently going through the terrible twos so I feel your pain! Agree that introducing some control to the toddler is helps, at least for me it does. I lay out two outfits & ask which she wants to wear and she has great fun choosing for example. Also for eating I go through the choices soup/pasta etc. The answer to most things is no but eventually we hit a yes (after going through the same choices about 3 times usually) and then I make a big fuss of her saying yes & praise her.

I am finding the buggy/walking bit really difficult. She doesn't want to be in her buggy and cries when in it for any length of time, but she cannot be trusted to walk with me or hold my hand. So frustrating for both of us!

galah

25 month old here as well, and it looks like he's just dropped his naps :eek::(:mad: (I need those naps. For my own sanity! )

Plenty of tantrums, but as people said before me, pick your battles, sometimes it's just not worth fighting everything...The not-eating bit we handle by ignoring mostly - if he doesn't want something, then that's it, I'm not making anything else (especially if he initially said 'yes' to whatever we are offering.) That said though, he will hardly ever refuse joghurt, eggs, or fruit, so we're lucky that way - child won't starve

The worst bit is the defiance, after repeatedly telling him not to do something (dangerous stuff, mostly) he'll STILL do it just to get a reaction. That usually gets my goat, and I find it very hard to keep my cool at times and not shout (I usually let daddy take over then, he's much more patient than I am).

He's pretty bad with the running off as well, and knows that I can't catch him that easily - currently 9 months pregnant...:mad: for any walks where there's traffic etc, I usually use one of those leashes (makes me feel really bad, but what am I supposed to do? It's either that or not going out at all...)

Just hope that with more language skills/better ways of expressing his emotions come less tantrums. but it's good to know it's not just your child that goes a bit mental

CaraMay

The eating is a serious issue today. He won't eat any... Hate this as he had, when much smaller, been in and out of hospital for failure to thrive do this freaks me out (even though he is v healthy now)

vitani

CaraMay wrote: »

The eating is a serious issue today. He won't eat any... Hate this as he had, when much smaller, been in and out of hospital for failure to thrive do this freaks me out (even though he is v healthy now)

Would he eat if distracted? It's a terrible habit to get into but my little one eats anything if RTE Jr is on.

December2012

http://youtu.be/-HQz4nOsqyg

I use this method - Harvey karp happiest toddler on the block and it really cuts down my daughters frustration.

pwurple

On the eating thing, I found that was just more control play from her. She went through various phases of refusing almost every food. But, she is nearly 3 now, and eats pretty much everything again at the moment.

Basically we didn't give any attention to it. If she didn't want to eat, and gave it a load of NO, we didn't force it. Didn't offer any alternatives, do airplane, bribery etc. Sometimes she didn't eat it at all. But mostly she came back and asked for it. I don't think toddlers starve themselves is there is food obviously available that everyone else is eating, and they are hungry. And they do have days when they are not hungry.. just like the rest of us.

This is a blog entry on it (I know, the guardian... but anyway). It's for older fussy eaters, but same general idea.
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2013/dec/10/child-fussy-eater-what-not-to-say-dinner-table


Clothes are my current bugbear. She hides under the bed when she doesn't want to get dressed... and at 7 months pregnant, I can't fit under there to get her out. It's driving me nuts in the mornings.

Hannibal Smith

Hah! We're right on the middle of the terrible twos too. It happened over night. Never went through anything like this with the first. The good thing is...now they're old enough to understand you. The other night he started screaming. ..no reason. ..I went in...rubbed his back and soothed him. There was nothing wrong. ..he was grand when I was there and cried when I went to leave. So eventually my husband came in and told him he was going to wake his brother and it wasn't fair on him etc...and to our shock snd surprise he put his head down and went back asleep! !! We were awake for about an hour full sure he eas having us on...but not a peep out of him lol.

The tantrums are ear piercing. ..I usually ignore them. .or if they're too much I put him in a room by himself and let him work away. To me trying to deal with a tantruming toddler is like dealing with a ranting and raving adult. They just don't hear you. A lot of the time I anticipate what might set him off and prepare him..ie 5 minute warnings if we're leaving somewhere. ..or if its not possible I distract him. I'll pick him up as I'm taking whatever it is from him or as im getting yo put his coat on and ask him questions likr whst colour Thomas (the tank engine) is etc. It seems to stem the anger for now lol.

Distraction works great for food too. I talk to him about different things as I shovel a few forks of dinner into him. I always think a full tummy will lead to a longer nights sleep so I really try get as much into him as I can.

He understands the concept of time out and we do instill it. We've had to because hes taken to hitting the older brother. Hr understands it a bit too much mind and tells me to go there when im being naughty (ie telling him to do something he doesn't want )

As I say...my eldest never went through this. He went through the usual asserting his independence alright. ..but not these levels. Im glad the toddler is assertive and can stand up for himself but if he toned it down a peg it would be appreciated