Farming and Relationships

AP2014

onrail wrote: »

Jesus lads... I go away from the thread for a year and look what happens!

Ya missed some craic, a few lads seem to have had the one girlfriend the mammy didn't approve. They lost the horn and left it at that Good old rural Ireland.

Bullocks

AP2014 wrote: »

Ya missed some craic, a few lads seem to have had the one girlfriend the mammy didn't approve. They lost the horn and left it at that Good old rural Ireland.

Reminds me of a story of a lad trying to get the farm off two uncles but they wouldn't sign over until he settled down with a respectable girl . He made an arrangement with the right girl and got engaged to her until the place was signed over and he gave her a few quid for her trouble ! Good move I thought

Miss PE

Hi,
I am engaged to a dairy farmer and was just wondering what are the hours normally worked this time of the year before looking for help?
I am from a farming background (not dairy), am understanding and interested in the farm but I feel that he is taking the p*** with how little he sees me! I work long hours too but help out getting messages for him on Saturdays, etc.
I called over to see him while milking @ 9o'c one night this week and saw him last on Sunday when he got an evening milker (he met me @ 7pm) and he stood me up last night.
He works from about 9am until 10:30pm most nights (the earliest he is in @ is 9:30pm)!
I have moved down the country to be near him (live 20mins away from him) all to be on my own!
I am finding it REALLY REALLY hard!
Thanks

Count Mondego

Miss PE wrote: »

Hi,
I am engaged to a dairy farmer and was just wondering what are the hours normally worked this time of the year before looking for help?
I am from a farming background (not dairy), am understanding and interested in the farm but I feel that he is taking the p*** with how little he sees me! I work long hours too but help out getting messages for him on Saturdays, etc.
I called over to see him while milking @ 9o'c one night this week and saw him last on Sunday when he got an evening milker (he met me @ 7pm) and he stood me up last night.
He works from about 9am until 10:30pm most nights (the earliest he is in @ is 9:30pm)!
I have moved down the country to be near him (live 20mins away from him) all to be on my own!
I am finding it REALLY REALLY hard!
Thanks

You could always break it off with him and hook up with one of those Irish water protesters, those lads have plenty time on their hands and i'd say would never miss a night out

Joking aside, he's got to manage 90 cows, it's springtime, and if you can't handle a few weeks of this you should not be marrying into a farm. This will never be a 9 - 5 job.

Milked out

Miss PE wrote: »

Hi,
I am engaged to a dairy farmer and was just wondering what are the hours normally worked this time of the year before looking for help?
I am from a farming background (not dairy), am understanding and interested in the farm but I feel that he is taking the p*** with how little he sees me! I work long hours too but help out getting messages for him on Saturdays, etc.
I called over to see him while milking @ 9o'c one night this week and saw him last on Sunday when he got an evening milker (he met me @ 7pm) and he stood me up last night.
He works from about 9am until 10:30pm most nights (the earliest he is in @ is 9:30pm)!
I have moved down the country to be near him (live 20mins away from him) all to be on my own!
I am finding it REALLY REALLY hard!
Thanks

This time of year no such thing as normal hours unfortunately particularly if he is working on his own, cows calving at all hours, calves to be minded, managing and feeding cattle both inside and trying to get to grass make it fairly hectic. One hiccup could add hours to the day but it will only be for a few weeks.
At the same time, me not exactly the one to talk at times, if he could start a few hours earlier it may help but the body clock does be all over the shop when u could be up with cows during the nite. Patience and perhaps talking non confrontationally about possible solutions, perhaps more relief etc but these things are best planned when not in the middle of the busy season so as to make decisions when less stressed and with a clear head

Greengrass1

Starting at 9am?
You sure?
If so he definitely needs to get out of the leaba earlier and should be finished earlier

AP2014

Greengrass1 wrote: »

Starting at 9am?
You sure?
If so he definitely needs to get out of the leaba earlier and should be finished earlier

I think the main question is what is being done to entice him to stay in the leaba!

[mod]This is a serious post that's being responded to and it deserves serious and appropriate answers. Trying to make a joke of the whole thing is not on.[/mod]

visatorro

Miss PE wrote:

Hi, I am engaged to a dairy farmer and was just wondering what are the hours normally worked this time of the year before looking for help? I am from a farming background (not dairy), am understanding and interested in the farm but I feel that he is taking the p*** with how little he sees me! I work long hours too but help out getting messages for him on Saturdays, etc. I called over to see him while milking @ 9o'c one night this week and saw him last on Sunday when he got an evening milker (he met me @ 7pm) and he stood me up last night. He works from about 9am until 10:30pm most nights (the earliest he is in @ is 9:30pm)! I have moved down the country to be near him (live 20mins away from him) all to be on my own! I am finding it REALLY REALLY hard! Thanks

your just going to have to talk to him About it. fair enough this time of the year can be busy but if it doesn't calm down abit something will have to be worked out between both of you.
I know you moved out to be with himself but you have to keep in with your own friends aswell and not become isolated

greysides

If you try to help out more on the farm you may develop an interest in what he does and share more time together.
Farming is simply not like other jobs.

Bullocks

visatorro wrote: »

I know you moved out to be with himself but you have to keep in with your own friends aswell and not become isolated

That's important without a doubt , my wife gives out to me that we don't go out with her mates anymore (mostly because I'm an odd lad that doesn't like them )
But the mood is definitely better when she has a night out with them . She needs to realise that I don't have as much spare time as when we were young and in love either !

Bullocks

greysides wrote: »

If you try to help out more on the farm you may develop an interest in what he does and share more time together.
Farming is simply not like other jobs.

Being a vet must be nearly as bad , would you be on call many nights of the week ?

greysides

Bullocks wrote: »

Being a vet must be nearly as bad , would you be on call many nights of the week ?

The number of nights out aren't the whole problem. It's the number of nights that you might be called out and thus can't commit to anything. Or anything you want to do is done knowing you may not get there or have to leave early (taking two cars becomes common). I'm an duty close to 24/7.
My wife and kids largely live lives with me as a peripheral character and especially at this time of year. Luckily my wife is capable of getting on with it.
I suppose there are some similarities between my wife's situation and the current posters. She comes to work with me at times too and enjoys getting to know the local characters. It makes it easier when I have to abort some family thing for them.

Bullocks

greysides wrote: »

The number of nights out aren't the whole problem. It's the number of nights that you might be called out and thus can't commit to anything. Or anything you want to do is done knowing you may not get there or have to leave early (taking two cars becomes common). I'm an duty close to 24/7.
My wife and kids largely live lives with me as a peripheral character and especially at this time of year. Luckily my wife is capable of getting on with it.
I suppose there are some similarities between my wife's situation and the current posters. She comes to work with me at times too and enjoys getting to know the local characters. It makes it easier when I have to abort some family thing for them.

That must be a killer on yourself not to mention the family . The vets we are with have 6 vets working there and share nights /weekends with another practice to spread the work so they all have reasonable nights off .
I don't worry too much about socialising but work or farm can die a death if the kids want me for something because they will be grown up very shortly and work or farm ain't as good craic as them

Count Mondego

greysides wrote: »

The number of nights out aren't the whole problem. It's the number of nights that you might be called out and thus can't commit to anything. Or anything you want to do is done knowing you may not get there or have to leave early (taking two cars becomes common). I'm an duty close to 24/7.
My wife and kids largely live lives with me as a peripheral character and especially at this time of year. Luckily my wife is capable of getting on with it.
I suppose there are some similarities between my wife's situation and the current posters. She comes to work with me at times too and enjoys getting to know the local characters. It makes it easier when I have to abort some family thing for them.

Do you regret choosing that profession given the fact you could have done almost any course you wanted to in college?

freedominacup

Count Mondego wrote: »

Do you regret choosing that profession given the fact you could have done almost any course you wanted to in college?

Eldest lad here has notions of doing veterinary. His mother would rather he had an interest in anything else including the seminary. Vet is much tougher in this country than it needs to be imo. Dept could do a lot about by refusing to give work to practices under a certain size. Practice here has "grown" to three vets, a big improvement on a one man band but should be at least double in size to provide the services and ensure reasonable conditions for the vets.

whelan2

freedominacup wrote: »

Eldest lad here has notions of doing veterinary. His mother would rather he had an interest in anything else including the seminary. Vet is much tougher in this country than it needs to be imo. Dept could do a lot about by refusing to give work to practices under a certain size. Practice here has "grown" to three vets, a big improvement on a one man band but should be at least double in size to provide the services and ensure reasonable conditions for the vets.

think the biggest problem is vets leaving college with zero experience, I call the vet when i need them, when they ask me what do i think is wrong i get a bit worried.

Reggie.

whelan2 wrote: »

think the biggest problem is vets leaving college with zero experience, I call the vet when i need them, when they ask me what do i think is wrong i get a bit worried.

Well that never happened here but it wouldn't fill ya with confidence

Dawggone

whelan2 wrote: »

think the biggest problem is vets leaving college with zero experience, I call the vet when i need them, when they ask me what do i think is wrong i get a bit worried.

Lol.
Had a vet many moons ago whose nickname was "What do you think yourself".
When stood in front of a sick animal that was always his first question.
He was a good vet though.

frazzledhome

Dawggone wrote: »

Lol.
Had a vet many moons ago whose nickname was "What do you think yourself".
When stood in front of a sick animal that was always his first question.
He was a good vet though.

Played rugby in NZ many moons ago, rural area. Vet across rd only time he was used was after a match for stitches:):)

Same man wouldn't be called to put down a calf pure useless.

Dawggone

frazzledhome wrote: »

Played rugby in NZ many moons ago, rural area. Vet across rd only time he was used was after a match for stitches:):)

Same man wouldn't be called to put down a calf pure useless.

Lol. Good enough to stitch up a human but....useless !

greysides

Count Mondego wrote: »

Do you regret choosing that profession given the fact you could have done almost any course you wanted to in college?

Some days, yes. Most, no. I regret my current time off arrangements though. It's not the first thing you think of when you are choosing your career.

I'm at this nearly 25 years, I still get a kick out getting out a lamb alive that should really have died and marvel that we can cut up cows, take out calves, stitch them up and expect them to do okay.

frazzledhome

Dawggone wrote: »

Lol. Good enough to stitch up a human but....useless !

Just remembered brother getting stitched by the opposing No 8 a vet about 8.30 one night by car headlight. Both locked and brother holding his pint.
I won't mention club for fear out getting him in bother

Asked about local, vet said not to worry you won't feel it till morning. Jaysus they were mad days. Milk feed kick the shyte out of each other home milk back get jarred and die all the next day oh yea drive to and from. Thankfully the driving bit is tightened up was pure madness, different times but still irresponsible

frazzledhome

whelan2 wrote: »

think the biggest problem is vets leaving college with zero experience, I call the vet when i need them, when they ask me what do i think is wrong i get a bit worried.

A big thing now is most vet students are female. It would be worth while studying for the leaving with the prospect of being the only guy to about 30 women. Imagine the craic you'd have if you played your cards right

whelan2

frazzledhome wrote: »

A big thing now is most vet students are female. It would be worth while studying for the leaving with the prospect of being the only guy to about 30 women. Imagine the craic you'd have if you played your cards right

2 women vets in our practice and then the head vet is a man, 1 of the women would put any man to shame, she was here doing a section on wednesday and nearly climbed into the cow. Why is there so few lads doing veterinary?

Dawggone

frazzledhome wrote: »

Just remembered brother getting stitched by the opposing No 8 a vet about 8.30 one night by car headlight. Both locked and brother holding his pint.
I won't mention club for fear out getting him in bother

Asked about local, vet said not to worry you won't feel it till morning. Jaysus they were mad days. Milk feed kick the shyte out of each other home milk back get jarred and die all the next day oh yea drive to and from. Thankfully the driving bit is tightened up was pure madness, different times but still irresponsible

ROFLMAO!!


In airport now to collect a few old friends...scored a pair of corporate tickets for the match next weekend...happy out...gourmet meal tonight...no work tomorrow thank God...!

frazzledhome

whelan2 wrote: »

2 women vets in our practice and then the head vet is a man, 1 of the women would put any man to shame, she was here doing a section on wednesday and nearly climbed into the cow. Why is there so few lads doing veterinary?

Too thick
Agreed 2 ladies in our practice love to see them coming

Dawggone

whelan2 wrote: »

2 women vets in our practice and then the head vet is a man, 1 of the women would put any man to shame, she was here doing a section on wednesday and nearly climbed into the cow. Why is there so few lads doing veterinary?

Hard work with little pay.
I would seriously discourage a child of mine away from vet life.

frazzledhome

Dawggone wrote: »

ROFLMAO!!


In airport now to collect a few old friends...scored a pair of corporate tickets for the match next weekend...happy out...gourmet meal tonight...no work tomorrow thank God...!

Don't let your foot slip off the clutch tonight ;)

frazzledhome

greysides wrote: »

Some days, yes. Most, no. I regret my current time off arrangements though. It's not the first thing you think of when you are choosing your career.

I'm at this nearly 25 years, I still get a kick out getting out a lamb alive that should really have died and marvel that we can cut up cows, take out calves, stitch them up and expect them to do okay.

It's a talent I often marvel at. A good confident vet can really reassure a farmer client. I'd say its often the first thing you need to do

frazzledhome

Dawggone wrote: »

Hard work with little pay.
I would seriously discourage a child of mine away from vet life.

The pay is shyte there's no way id encourage my kid into it. Highly unlikely in any event as they seem to have inherited my Academic abilities and lack of diligence

Miss PE

Bullocks wrote: »

That's important without a doubt , my wife gives out to me that we don't go out with her mates anymore (mostly because I'm an odd lad that doesn't like them )
But the mood is definitely better when she has a night out with them .

Just a quick post to say thanks for the replies - really appreciated the independent perspective
Read them all to him (on the phone) so will see how it goes.........fingers crossed..

He is a great, hardworking guy whose father (who farmed with him) died in the last year. I totally supported him through this but could see this issue (working until after 9/10pm) coming and it has been regularly going on since October (he is not spring milk + has some sucklers)
This was obviously a huge life event but my pleas are now nagging/moaning but hopefully hearing your responses will be a fresh perspective..& he'll put plans in place to regain some sort of "normal farmer" balance..

[By the way, in response to greysides, I helped out last summer & gave a couple of long evenings last October topping up silage, scraping down mats, power washing yard, etc. but stopped because he was beginning to expect me to do it........I regularly work over 10 hours days, 5 days a week & have at least an hour & a half daily commute on top of that.......he talks to me daily about the farm & I give advise/help/listen where I can from my own home non-dairy farm perspective + go to the vets, co-op voluntarily where I can. I have a major interest in & love for farming but don't want it to be taken for granted even before we get married........]

So much for my "quick post" but thanks again!!