Engagement ring

Wellyd

I think it really depends on the couple. I've been with my OH almost 10 years. I'd be more disappointed if he didn't put any thought into it and just bought a bog standard ring that someone working in a jewellers pushed on him. When I've clearly explained to him what I'd like! But on the other hand I'm a shallow b*#%h and if he spent less than 2 grand I'd be raging!

Miss Lockhart

I'd personally prefer if very little was spent on a ring. I'd be delighted with €200 - in fact I'd be happier with none. Complete waste of money imo, but if it's important to the couple then they should do what suits. Any more than a week's wages seems like madness though.

oldyouth

Inspector Coptoor wrote: »

I'd say in order it'd be:

House
Car
Engagement ring
TV
Sofa
Wedding ring

You're missing my point, pessimistic as it is

anncoates

mayobumblebee wrote: »

I. have a diamond on one hand and a meteorite on the other

Did he buy you that as a surprise or did you planet?

GoldenLight

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

I'd personally prefer if very little was spent on a ring. I'd be delighted with €200 - in fact I'd be happier with none. Complete waste of money imo, but if it's important to the couple then they should do what suits. Any more than a week's wages seems like madness though.

It's a promise, and an very will intention (hopeful) to marry someone, in that regards I really happy with what people spend on it, if it makes them happy, I happy for them. I see the ring as a bond between me and my partner, and that's it, to me it could be a brack ring, to my partner it could be something that meant a huge to my partner.

That's what it means though, a symbol of my love for someone, and my promise (which is my promise, and I would never break that) really do we need all these rings:(

Miss Lockhart

GoldenLight wrote: »

It's a promise, and an very will intention (hopeful) to marry someone, in that regards I really happy with what people spend on it, if it makes them happy, I happy for them. I see the ring as a bond between me and my partner, and that's it, to me it could be a brack ring, to my partner it could be something that meant a huge to my partner.

That's what it means though, a symbol of my love for someone, and my promise (which is my promise, and I would never break that) really do we need all these rings:(

Yes you have to do whatever sujts the couple (hopefully there's common ground between the two partners!).

Personally I don't need any symbols. In fact I'd prefer not to have any.

Pumpkinseeds

When all is said and done it doesn't matter about the colour or the stone or lack of stone or the size or cost. It's a gesture. Not everyone wants an engagement ring, some women do want one but never get one.

What really matters is the relationship. It's a tradition, and when a woman announces her engagement people automatically assume that there's an engagement ring. It's usually other women that get bitchy about engagement rings tbh.

I think it's madness to get into debt for the sake a ring. My husband was telling me about a colleague of his who bought an engagement ring on his credit card with 50% interest:eek: Most couples live together before they get married and I think a lot of women would rather that their partner didn't spend upwards of 3 thousand on a ring as the money could be better spent on more practical things.

Slattsy

It all boils down to circumstances I suppose.

It's something your future wife will wear every day for the rest of her life. If you can afford to get a decent one then do it.

If you can't just save harder!

Fwiw, there's nothing worse than seeing a woman's engagement ring and it looks pathetically cheap and tacky. Embarrassing for her and for you.

Never get gold either.

The Cool

3 months' salary in our case would be 8000-9000 and I think I would murder him if he spent that on something to sit on my finger! 1000-2000 is more than enough.

Or as my dad told my mum when she lost hers - the price of two cows.

homemadecider

Inspector Coptoor wrote: »

And are women now expected to buy their beaus a present of in it around equal value at the time of the wedding?

I bought my OH an engagement watch for €1,000. We both got something shiny, it was great.

Crea

My husband wanted to pay a months wages, I haggled him down to a week and a half wages. There was no way i'd be comfortable wearing a very expensive ring everyday. I got a gorgeous ring and 11.5 years on I still love it.
His wedding ring is platinum so nearly cost as much as my engagement ring.

Inspector Coptoor

The Cool wrote: »

3 months' salary in our case would be 8000-9000 and I think I would murder him if he spent that on something to sit on my finger! 1000-2000 is more than enough.

Or as my dad told my mum when she lost hers - the price of two cows.

Absolutely!
And then you're into the "3 months gross or net?"
If My other half expected me to pay 3 months gross wages, I think I'd be looking to get another OH!

Xidu

Inspector Coptoor wrote: »

Absolutely!
And then you're into the "3 months gross or net?"
If My other half expected me to pay 3 months gross wages, I think I'd be looking to get another OH!

Good luck so.

H2UMrsRobinson

I absolutely adore my engagement and wedding rings, am looking for an eternity ring now to complete the set. It has to be the right one though and I haven't seen it yet.

If you can afford it (we could at the time) and he's happy to buy it for you (he was) I think it's a lovely thing to have and cherish. Every time I look at them they bring me joy. Sometimes the light catches it and the colours and sparkle are mesmerising. I also have tiny fingers, ring finger is an I, so it looks way bigger than it actually is.

Don't bankrupt yourself and agree on it together, after that value is unimportant.

GoldenLight

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

When all is said and done it doesn't matter about the colour or the stone or lack of stone or the size or cost. It's a gesture. Not everyone wants an engagement ring, some women do want one but never get one.

What really matters is the relationship. It's a tradition, and when a woman announces her engagement people automatically assume that there's an engagement ring. It's usually other women that get bitchy about engagement rings tbh.

I think it's madness to get into debt for the sake a ring. My husband was telling me about a colleague of his who bought an engagement ring on his credit card with 50% interest:eek: Most couples live together before they get married and I think a lot of women would rather that their partner didn't spend upwards of 3 thousand on a ring as the money could be better spent on more practical things.

But that's the thing most of the guys are expecting to spend a week to 3 months salary on it, as well, I be happy with a club orange tab from a can, not coke or Fanta, but club orange tab, and it fitted my finger, I think I would be just happy (shocked) if someone I loved, loved me enough to ask for my hand in marriage, I would except the brack or club orange flavor ring. At the end of the day it's only me and him, if I believe in it, who cares about my friends:) (I know I still do but, wouldn't that be cool):) Me Happy wouldn't that be cool

Femme_Fatale

Slattsy wrote: »

It's something your future wife will wear every day for the rest of her life. If you can afford to get a decent one then do it.

If you can't just save harder!

Fwiw, there's nothing worse than seeing a woman's engagement ring and it looks pathetically cheap and tacky. Embarrassing for her and for you.

I wouldn't notice tbh. Why should a guy feel pressurised into saving harder? I appreciate you're just being nice and I like chivalry but IMO something like this should be a two-way street and shouldn't involve pressure.

Xidu wrote: »

Good luck so.

Well I don't think that poster indicated their partner is looking for a €5,800 ring (insane money for a ring unless the guy is very very rich).

Ihatecuddles

SV wrote: »

I always thought the amount was 3 months wages.

However my OH has told me if I spend that kind of money on her she'll kill me.

That's what I told my fiancé, under no circumstances was he to spend crazy money on it. I would genuinely have been happy with a €50 ring

I got a gorgeous (crazy expensive) ring. I love it so much but I'm so afraid of losing it or something

Ihatecuddles

Wellyd wrote: »

I think it really depends on the couple. I've been with my OH almost 10 years. I'd be more disappointed if he didn't put any thought into it and just bought a bog standard ring that someone working in a jewellers pushed on him. When I've clearly explained to him what I'd like! But on the other hand I'm a shallow b*#%h and if he spent less than 2 grand I'd be raging!

I find that really really sad

I had no say in my ring, which is exactly what I wanted. I wanted him to pick it and if he spent €50 on it I would have been delighted. I wanted it because he wanted to give it to me, and he obviously loved it and that's why he bought it. He spent a lot of money on it, a lot more than I expected him to, and that surprised me. He did it because he saw the ring and loved it, and that's the one he wanted me to wear.

His housemate said she'd never accept a ring that cost less than 5k, I just felt sick.

--Kaiser--

At a recent family event one of my relatives was given a present. My young nephew was eager to see the present unwrapped but the disappointment in his face was evident when he saw it was some jewellery.

"But it's just...a thing...you wear it and that's it. It doesn't do anything."

I tried to explain it to him, but explain what? It's exactly how I feel about such useless and expensive trinkets. Even more so about engagement rings, because it's socially mandated buying and gifting of useless trinkets

rainbow kirby

Mine is a family ring, so it didn't cost us anything. I'd rather he got himself a basic road bike in the spring so we could go cycling together tbh.

Ihatecuddles

When we announced our engagement, his friend asked how did he know my ring size if he surprised me....his other friend shouts' he got the jeweller to measure his hole'

Off topic but I found it very funny

EuropeanSon

No way would I spend anything like three months of my salary on a ring. Or one month for that matter. I don't think it makes sense to spend as much or more on the ring as I'd (we'd, hopefully) spend on the honeymoon.

Ladies... Does a 10k ring generally really look that much nicer than a 1k ring?

And no diamonds. Boring, unimaginative stones IMO, covered in undeterminable amounts of blood and marketing bull****.

DB83

Daqster wrote: »

Half your monthly net pay minus whatever your average spend is on hookers.

If the latter is more than the former, don't get married.

Haaaaaaaaa! That's a life lesson right there!

Wellyd

mauzo! wrote: »

I find that really really sad

I had no say in my ring, which is exactly what I wanted. I wanted him to pick it and if he spent €50 on it I would have been delighted. I wanted it because he wanted to give it to me, and he obviously loved it and that's why he bought it. He spent a lot of money on it, a lot more than I expected him to, and that surprised me. He did it because he saw the ring and loved it, and that's the one he wanted me to wear.

His housemate said she'd never accept a ring that cost less than 5k, I just felt sick.

Which part in particular? The money part? As I mentioned I'm a shallow person. I know my OH and I know he'd spend way more but to me that's about a reasonable amount to spend. Regarding telling him what type of rings I like, that's mainly for him to have an idea. There's no point in spending money on something that I would have to wear that I didn't like. I've always told him that I would love for him to pick the ring himself as I'm fairly indecisive and if I had the choice I'd always question myself.

I never quite noticed I had so many personality flaws until this thread!

whatdoicare

I know a lot of ladies are happy with no ring and the 50 euro ring etc etc it just reminded me of my sister in law.

She often made those statements and her fiancee gave her a ring which obviously cost very little. Now I know you can get a beautiful ring for very little if you go for silver and zircona (i bought a lovely set myself off ebay when pregnancy swelled up my fingers) or if you just look hard enough and I kinda wish he went that route.

Wherever he got this ring it was just awful looking. The band was like a string of wire and the diamond was teeny.

Now, she claimed she was Happy with the ring but was always very reluctant to show it and would hide it with costume jewellery.

When she got married she got a large wedding ring encrusted with little diamonds and weve never seen the engagement ring again.

So, be careful what you wish for if its not 100% what you have in mind. You might be unpleasantly surprised.

jigglypuffstuff

Simply put never buy a ring in Ireland

Turkey, Middle East or USA is where you will get value for your money

here the cost of diamonds in jewellers is insane

anyone whos silly enough to spend money on diamonds here must have money to burn, because 9/10 it will be a ****ty stone worth 30% of what you pay if even that

Frigga_92

Not sure what the average spend is so can only contribute my own personal experience.

My engagement ring and our wedding bands were handcrafted by a close friend at a cost of €7,000, without the discount they would've been around €10,000 altogether.

Shenshen

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

I'd have no interest in an engagement ring, or even a wedding ring for that matter. I hate wearing rings, I just fidget with them a lot and then lose them. Crazy expensive too for what they are. Myself and the OH don't really have much interest in marriage but I have himself warned anyway that if he does ever get any crazy notions that I'll actually kill him if he buys are ring.

I'd much rather spend the money on a nice holiday or something else awesome. Much better than a boring piece of stone that's gonna get lost because I'm really clumsy anyway.

No offence meant towards people who are into that type of thing, just not my cup of tea.

Same here, neither of us likes wearing rings.
He sometimes complains jokingly that I never bought him one, since I was the one who proposed to him at the time.

We got necklaces instead, with silver yin and yang shaped pendants that fit together.

magicmushroom

Not sure what the going rate is - I just chose the one I liked and luckily for him it was under 1k so he was delighted.

I don't think the rings are important though, If I were to go back in time I would probably not bother with an engagement ring at all, and use the money towards something more important.

I could say that about a lot of the money we spent on the wedding though, was all great at the time but when I look back now a lot of it was spent on silly things that didn't make much different.

My sister is getting married in 2015 and my advice to her has been to spend money on the food, the venue and the band, the rest (ie chaircovers) will be forgotton very quickly

Musefan

Family member just got one at the cost of 3600.


All I could think of was the holiday I could have for that!

Tiddlypeeps

For anyone that does think engagement rings should be expensive, do you want that much spent on you just as a gesture of how much your OH thinks your worth or is it that you believe the more expensive a ring the better it looks?

I have no idea if the latter is true or not. I can imagine diminishing returns would set in pretty quickly but I have never looked into it so have no idea. Just curious if this is the bigger sticking point or if it's the gesture of an elaborate gift that's important.

I Heart Internet

I would have paid about 2 months wages at the time - fair bit of cash.

My advice - talk to your beloved about this - what does she think about it? Will a simple €50 thing do for now, etc.

If she's very demanding, then that may be a bad sign (in my eyes).

I Heart Internet

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

It's much cheaper getting them abroad
http://www.wickes.co.uk/invt/159987

And remember legally it's a down payment on the bride so if the wedding is called off the man gets to keep it.

I've heard quite a few stories of people getting rings abroad and they being dissapointed/ripped-off. If you're not very careful and knowledgeable there's very little come-back.

There a good few independent jewellery makers around Ireland who can make unique stuff to your specs with a personal touch. That's the way me and the OH went - and we certainly weren't looking to break the bank.

Lia_lia

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

I'd have no interest in an engagement ring, or even a wedding ring for that matter. I hate wearing rings, I just fidget with them a lot and then lose them. Crazy expensive too for what they are. Myself and the OH don't really have much interest in marriage but I have himself warned anyway that if he does ever get any crazy notions that I'll actually kill him if he buys are ring.

I'd much rather spend the money on a nice holiday or something else awesome. Much better than a boring piece of stone that's gonna get lost because I'm really clumsy anyway.

No offence meant towards people who are into that type of thing, just not my cup of tea.

My exact view!

Treloh

blade1 wrote: »

Ok I'll say it,
About 3 fiddy.

You mean 3 DOLLA fiddy??

Witchie

Last month I was on a girly weekend in New York with a friend from Florida and her 17 year old daughter. We went to Tiffanys and Harry Winston to look at jewellery and decided we would all try on our dream rings. Mine was in Harry Winstons and cost 56k, my friend Kim's was in Tiffanys and was 64k.

Her daughter Kawena, after much searching found one and asked could she try it on. "Certainly mam, but you will have to come with us to a private room" was the reply. We marched into a little booth at the back of the shop with 2 shop assistants and a security guard. One assistant asked us would we like a drink and despite me desperately sending them psychic messages to order champagne they asked for water so I followed suit. Anyway she puts the ring on and it was stunning. We asked the price.........$169k.

I nearly choked on my water.

Kawena is kinda dating an Ice Hockey player who is on the junior team now and her mum said that it would cost Alex 2 years wages to buy that now but it would be no problem when he makes the senior team. How the other half live eh?

My own engagement ring I found in an antique shop in Dublin, it was sapphires and diamond ring from 1916 (kinda funny coz we got engaged at Easter) and cost me (yes I paid for it myself!) £300 back in 1994. I still love it even though I no longer love the man I married.

Sir Gallagher

Witchie wrote: »

Last month I was on a girly weekend in New York with a friend from Florida and her 17 year old daughter. We went to Tiffanys and Harry Winston to look at jewellery and decided we would all try on our dream rings. Mine was in Harry Winstons and cost 56k, my friend Kim's was in Tiffanys and was 64k.

Her daughter Kawena, after much searching found one and asked could she try it on. "Certainly mam, but you will have to come with us to a private room" was the reply. We marched into a little booth at the back of the shop with 2 shop assistants and a security guard. One assistant asked us would we like a drink and despite me desperately sending them psychic messages to order champagne they asked for water so I followed suit. Anyway she puts the ring on and it was stunning. We asked the price.........$169k.

I nearly choked on my water.

Kawena is kinda dating an Ice Hockey player who is on the junior team now and her mum said that it would cost Alex 2 years wages to buy that now but it would be no problem when he makes the senior team. How the other half live eh?

My own engagement ring I found in an antique shop in Dublin, it was sapphires and diamond ring from 1916 (kinda funny coz we got engaged at Easter) and cost me (yes I paid for it myself!) £300 back in 1994. I still love it even though I no longer love the man I married.

Why would you waste peoples time like that?

Paulownia

Sir Gallagher wrote: »

Why would you waste peoples time like that?

Jewellers are very used to time wasters and offer it up, they are called feelers and touchers in the antique trade

DrGreenthumb

just got a ring in the barmbrack, some lucky girl will be getting proposed to on halloween night

Paulownia

Jewellers build everything into their profit margins which are colossal. Anyone who has ever tried to sell jewellery will have discovered this

Shenshen

I can't speak for average, but we didn't bother with rings.

Neither for our engagement nor for our wedding. We both hate wearing rings.

Paulownia

Shenshen wrote: »

I can't speak for average, but we didn't bother with rings.

Neither for our engagement nor for our wedding. We both hate wearing rings.

I, as a male, didn't get a wedding ring but my wife has one and over the years I have had some very funny comments from people about being married and not wearing a ring, some people think it is some kind of lack of commitment or a way of not showing that I'm attached.
In fact it is because I was given my grandfathers signet ring as a teenager and discovered I hated wearing a ring. My wife on the other hand has an insatiable appetite for rings, especially ones containing large precious stones:)

Witchie

Sir Gallagher wrote: »

Why would you waste peoples time like that?

Actually, my friend Kim's boyfriend is a multimillionaire ex-hockey player and she was saying if he proposes that is the ring she wants so not really wasting their time. Maybe I was but hey, am sure they are used to that.

Shenshen

Paulownia wrote: »

I, as a male, didn't get a wedding ring but my wife has one and over the years I have had some very funny comments from people about being married and not wearing a ring, some people think it is some kind of lack of commitment or a way of not showing that I'm attached.
In fact it is because I was given my grandfathers signet ring as a teenager and discovered I hated wearing a ring. My wife on the other hand has an insatiable appetite for rings, especially ones containing large precious stones:)

We went for silver necklaces instead - with a yin and an yang pendant. Tacky, I know...
I always wear mine, but my husband dislikes wearing his as it gets tangled up in his hair.
Either way I don't feel it's that important. It's a nice symbol, nothing else.

Peist2007

So so tacky. Every aspect of it

bnt

If you said "n month's salary": congratulations, you have fallen prey to some top quality De Beers propaganda marketing. They basically invented the diamond engagement ring in the 1930s, telling people to spend a month's salary, then by the 1980s they had upped the figure to two months:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUzmUH55iKo

Who posted "three months"? :eek:

Paulownia

don't think I'd be going for the necklace either, bit too old for that stuff. I'd look like an aging drug baron!

Barely There

Witchie wrote: »

Actually, my friend Kim's boyfriend is a multimillionaire ex-hockey player and she was saying if he proposes that is the ring she wants so not really wasting their time. Maybe I was but hey, am sure they are used to that.

I presume he meant waste people's time posting up a boring anecdote like that.

obriendj

bnt wrote: »

If you said "n month's salary": congratulations, you have fallen prey to some top quality De Beers propaganda marketing. They basically invented the diamond engagement ring in the 1930s, telling people to spend a month's salary, then by the 1980s they had upped the figure to two months:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUzmUH55iKo

Who posted "three months"? :eek:

Family Guys version of that ad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c82z_bxy60E

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

http://tinypic.com/r/bijzfk/8

My ring. Less than a thousand, and the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. It's not all about the dollas