One parent family advice

Dotty365

Hi,
Just looking for some advice. Husband and I have decided to split due to us drifting apart and him taking up employment abroad. He says that he will pay the mortgage but not contribute towards our 2kids as he is paying the mortgage i'm just wondering if I could apply for the one parent family as I was on the means tested jobseekers but this has been cut off as he moved away and I did not ave his pay slips to send in. I'm also currently doing jobbridge and again not getting the €50 for this
Any advice welcome

Stheno

You should try mediation and court for maintenance, your ex cannot avoid paying child maintenance, and potentially spousal maintenance if ordered by the court.

I used pay spousal maintenance of 600 per month as part of my seperation agreement

Mediation if you can do it and he is in the country is the best option

You also need to approach social welfare due to the change in your circumstances and get assessed for OPF allowance

Dotty365

Thanks Stheno for your reply.
It's not that he doesn't want to pay maintenance but as he will pay the mortgage he thinks that he does not have to give over more iykwim
To be honest things are pretty amicable between us and I would like to keep it this way.
Will get onto social welfare

eastbono

You could apply for one parent family but you need to be separated for 3 months before you could apply for this also in view of the fact that he I presume has only recently went abroad to work you may be deemed only geographically separated, also the fact the he is paying your mortgage will be assessed as means.

Stheno

Dotty365 wrote: »

Thanks Stheno for your reply.
It's not that he doesn't want to pay maintenance but as he will pay the mortgage he thinks that he does not have to give over more iykwim
To be honest things are pretty amicable between us and I would like to keep it this way.
Will get onto social welfare

If he is in the country and you can do it, try mediation, I'd two sessions when my marriage broke up, and it was all sorted very quickly, formed the basis of our seperation agreement.

Edit: Sorry to hear about your relationship ending but things can work out well, six years later I have a very amiable relationship with my ex husband, very best wishes to you

acon2119

It is not enough to have him cover the mortgage, he wont pay to feed and clothes his own children but he will pay the mortgage because he is protecting his financial interest in the house long term. He knows this will go in his favour when the house has to be split in years to come.

Dotty365

He has left since September. Is there any payment that I could get in the meantime as I'm not getting anything at the moment.
No Stheno he is not here. Ya hope to keep a good relationship with him especially for the kids sake. Thanks for the good wishes

burke027

So you want him to pay the mortgage and pay for the kids also.

Then he has to pay for a house he lives in also be it rented or mortgage

This is wrong. I'm going trough similar except we didn't have a mortgage but I do pay for the kids.

The father gets totally screwed over and it at some point has to change. I for one am sick of this one sided situation as I have the kids just as much as her but I don't get money from n e where.

Sorry rant over

Stheno

Dotty365 wrote: »

He has left since September. Is there any payment that I could get in the meantime as I'm not getting anything at the moment.
No Stheno he is not here. Ya hope to keep a good relationship with him especially for the kids sake. Thanks for the good wishes

Go talk to your Community Welfare Officer first, I've no idea where you are, but google the location.

For information on maintenance (both spousal and child maintenance) see
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/separation_and_divorce/maintenance_orders_and_agreements.html

Family mediation service
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/separation_and_divorce/family_mediation_service.html

And there is a pile of info here you might find useful

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/separation_and_divorce/

Dotty365

Burke027 I never said that I wanted him to pay the mortgage and maintenance. If he paid the mortgage I would be happy with that. My question was about applying for the one parent family payment as he has gone abroad and I'm not getting anything
Thanks Stheno, I will have a read of them

Stheno

burke027 wrote: »

So you want him to pay the mortgage and pay for the kids also.

Then he has to pay for a house he lives in also be it rented or mortgage

This is wrong. I'm going trough similar except we didn't have a mortgage but I do pay for the kids.

The father gets totally screwed over and it at some point has to change. I for one am sick of this one sided situation as I have the kids just as much as her but I don't get money from n e where.

Sorry rant over

I'm female and when I split with my husband he stayed in the "family home", we'd no kids, but for years I had to pay him spousal maintenance as he was unemployed, while I was working and paying over 50% in tax.

Some women in marriage breakups also suffer the brunt of our (admittedly fair when it comes to spouses) system

burke027

Stheno wrote: »

I'm female and when I split with my husband he stayed in the "family home", we'd no kids, but for years I had to pay him spousal maintenance as he was unemployed, while I was working and paying over 50% in tax.

Some women in marriage breakups also suffer the brunt of our (admittedly fair when it comes to spouses) system

But you would have agree that the massive amount of cases it's the male.

Stheno

burke027 wrote: »

But you would have agree that the massive amount of cases it's the male.

Sure, but if there is one very small element of our family law that is utterly genderless in it's outlook, it's the area of spousal maintenance.

Spousal maintenance is rarely paid in this country, but when it is, the rules look beyond gender.

When children become involved, it's different

donegal11

Dotty365 wrote: »

Hi,
Hoping someone can advise me here. My husband has started work in Canada. I stopped his payment when he left but my payment was also stopped as I did not send in his pay slips. Just to note I'm on the jobbridge scheme so just wondering what can I do.

Thanks

To be honest it sounds like your husband is making a substantial amount of money (you refusing to send in forms and his ability to pay a mortgage and rent in canada) and that fact your refer to him as your husband and not your ex only month ago.It sounds like this "split" is clearly for SW purposes only after been rejected for job seekers payment and SWI will see it likewise.

Dotty365

Sorry donegal11, i will clarify a few things for you

I was not rejected for jobseekers, it was stopped because I had none of his pay slips to send in.
Us splitting up has only just recently happened so forgive me for referring to him as my husband as opposed to my ex
no his wages are not substantial by any means, his rent over there s being subsidized so that s how he can pay the mortgage over here.

wmpdd3

Have a look at the OPF application, the documents required are wide ranging and with one person out of the country could be hard to get but there is no harm in trying.

I think the supporting documentation could prove too hard to supply pending a for separation.

maryk123

How much is he giving you for the mortgage