Do you find people interesting?

Vito Corleone

I find that generally people are all the same. Once you have experienced one person you have experienced them all.

Fiery biscuits

I think people are fascinating. I don't know how people can think that people are generally all the same. What about gender, age, background, life experience, work, traveling experiences, humour, culture, nationality, how people react in certain situations etc etc etc. I love meeting new people and experiences these aspects of their character.

I also think a lot depends on the questions you ask people and the way you want a conversation to go. In a way I find boring people interesting. That's a complete contradiction I know but even if a person is boring the arse of me, I tend to think about why they are so boring, does everyone else think they are boring too or are they even boring at all or are they just not interested in talking to me. It's a yes from me..people are interesting!

Legs.Eleven

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Yes, I find people very interesting - not to the point of being a gossip though... well, most of the time. :pac:

When I'm reading a book, it's the descriptions of people that I love; I tend to skim over the descriptions of things/places.

Same. In fact I almost only read fiction books that involve insight into the thoughts of people and their lives (reading Alice Munro "Too Much Happiness" now. That book should wet your whistle nicely ). I only realised this now looking at my book shelf...

Wattle

It's people's expectations that I find hard to deal with. Society's expectations. They want to put you in a box. They have to label you and define you. If they can't put you in a category then they tend to reject you. Why can't you be like so and so? They feel like they have to fix you. I don't hate people on an individual level it's just the collective that I find hard to stomach. I do spend a lot of time on my own but it doesn't feel like isolation. I don't feel deprived of anything. Most of the time I feel completely calm and centered.

Aidric

lol @ whirlpool having a nervous breakdown within the first page of the thread.

RahenyD5

biko wrote:

I find odd people fascinating. They usually have amazing stories.
Also well travelled people are cool to talk to.

If I meet someone who asks me what I do for a living or if I saw the match, I kinda switch off.

poundapunnet wrote: »

That's why I hate going to the pub in the village where I'm from. You're limited to the script really. Weather, match, local gossip. Same conversations again and again and it goes down like a lead brick if you wander off the path. Until you get eight pints in and everyone's philosophising.

Agree with the above.

Outside my social circle, generally I find it hard to "read" people, it can be like trying to solve a puzzle only to give up in the end.

I find some people less interesting when they talk about predictable things such as the weather, soaps and X Factor also sports & girls from lads. The problem is if you talk about something different, anything that the common person is not chatting about in the street, they can look at you as if you are strange or label you as a nerd or weirdo.

The funny thing is you can talk just about anything in the pub when people have drinks down them and are relaxed - craic that Ireland is famous for! It is like there is a fear out there that talking about anything untypical makes people guarded believing they would be judged as abnormal etc. which is a real shame.

To me this looks like we only get interesting when we have alcohol in us or communicate behind keyboards without being ridiculed face to face.

I would be delighted if someone strikes up a conversation about random untypical stuff - talking crap - therefore different and interesting. After Hours on Boards, plenty random topics there, is deadly for this! If this makes me a weirdo then so be it.

The small talk we have to endure can be pretty annoying however I agree is useful to break the ice between strangers but as normal conversation is a no-no.

The people I work with always make repetitive small talk even I've worked there for 8 years! This can be irritating that sometimes I don't want to go in work because I would know exactly what they are going to say before they open their mouths, so depressing.

They are too reserved to talk about random stuff also I think this may be down to myself being the only young one at work. I admire the German work culture which workers would go in and do their bit then go home again without talking too much predictable bollix.

rwg

Waiting on the bus home from work last week, guy at the bus stop was arguing with the bus, which wasn't actually there. I got on the bus and 3 stops down another guy gets on, with 2 guys in chase, accusing him of stealing something, and threatening to stab him to death if he didn't give it back. A woman beside me, of about 5 feet high jumps up and starts fighting the three of them.

After the commotion has ended, the bus driver refuses to drive off until the guards arrive, making me wait until another bus came behind.

I don't mind people, but they're very difficult to find.

smurgen

I'm interested in oddballs to be honest.my closest friends are all kinda weird.they're successful,outgoing and well rounded but the stuff they come out with is odd a lot of the time and that's what I like. A lot of the people I deal with in work have what I regard as run of the mill lives and they don't interest me one bit. For example a girl came in today after getting engaged last night to her boyfriend and I honestly couldn't care less.she's nice to everyone and never rocks the boat and I do not find her interesting in anyway and there's a lot more like her in there. I just find her type boring.maby it's more a problem with me than people like her.

Evelyn Cusack

People are fascinating, love hot days when you can find a comfortable perch and people watch

rwg

Evelyn Cusack wrote: »

People are fascinating, love hot days when you can find a comfortable perch and people watch

Reminds me of a parrot I once had

Borboletinha

No. Dont really like people or meeting new people. Dont have a facebook either so they cannot add as friend. Every time you meet people after 15 minutes: "are you on facebook?" No, Im not. So you cannot find me. Ever.
At the same time Im a good person, I want the best for everybody and for everybody to be happy. Just not close to me.
I was always like this but got worse after I had my daughter. All patience I have goes on her and whatever is left on my husband. From the rest I keep my distance.

anncoates

RahenyD5 wrote: »

I find some people less interesting when they talk about predictable things such as the weather, soaps and X Factor also sports & girls from lads. The problem is if you talk about something different, anything that the common person is not chatting about in the street, they can look at you as if you are strange or label you as a nerd .

It must be hard for you to plough a lonely and unique furrow in a world of intellectual mediocrity?

rwg

I feel your pain D5 - Larry David is my hero too

poundapunnet

anncoates wrote: »

but probably guilty of being a bit judgmental and unforgiving/dismissive of people I don't take to.

No shít.

anncoates wrote: »

It must be hard for you to plough a lonely and unique furrow in a world of intellectual mediocrity?

Femme_Fatale

I don't see anything wrong with people who are introverted and prefer their own company and so on; one of my best friends is like that, and is still brilliant company.

But the "I don't like people, I'm such a misanthrope; people, even though extremely diverse, are all boring - and I'm so much better than them despite also being a person" stuff - yep, issue is with the person, not other people.

anncoates

poundapunnet wrote: »

No shít.

Busted.:)

rwg

Sam Mac

Sometimes.....

anncoates

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

But the "I don't like people, I'm such a misanthrope; people, even though extremely diverse, are all boring - and I'm so much better than them despite also being a person" stuff - yep, issue is with the person, not other people.

Also don't get too worried about small talk either unless I'm trapped for hours. A certain amount of it is just social lubricant to navigate your everyday life with people you have to share your day with. I'm sure a lot of time you're not seeing the real person.

smurgen

anncoates wrote: »

Also don't get too worried about small talk either unless I'm trapped for hours. A certain amount of it is just social lubricant to navigate your everyday life with people you have to share your day with. I'm sure a lot of time you're not seeing the real person.

It's just with some people I find I could nearly write a script of what they're going to say for the entire day.it's all small talk.there's a lot of these in work!I wonder what the point of them talking is. A little more silence wouldn't kill them.in my last job we all had access to youtube and i'd regularly listen to music or something like the Howard stern show for a lot of the day.a lot of people would have their headphones in and unexpectedly people got on better and were more social. The quality of conversation was better.

Lia_lia

Yes, I actually really like getting to know people.

poundapunnet

anncoates wrote: »

Also don't get too worried about small talk either unless I'm trapped for hours. A certain amount of it is just social lubricant to navigate your everyday life with people you have to share your day with. I'm sure a lot of time you're not seeing the real person.

I think for very very few people (though they do exist) there's not much more than small-talk going on in their heads, and they'd be the ones who look at you funny if you say something they haven't heard before. For most people small talk is just what you do in most situations with people you don't know very well. For some people as well there's more going on in their heads but they've had quite a sheltered life and don't have the framework to express it. Terrible snobby thing to say and I'm going to say it anyway, but education and travel make a big difference. Not in how interesting people are, just in their confidence and inclination to formulate and express opinions, and to cope with other people doing the same.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

MonstaMash

I stick to my own tried & trusted social circle, never mix with colleagues from work & am very hesitant to form new friendships.

I don't mind interacting with other people, but avoid it in a social sense.

Even family gatherings are anathema to me, mainly because I have very little in common, apart from blood ties, with them.

Shrills

poundapunnet wrote: »

I think for very very few people (though they do exist) there's not much more than small-talk going on in their heads, and they'd be the ones who look at you funny if you say something they haven't heard before. For most people small talk is just what you do in most situations with people you don't know very well. For some people as well there's more going on in their heads but they've had quite a sheltered life and don't have the framework to express it. Terrible snobby thing to say and I'm going to say it anyway, but education and travel make a big difference. Not in how interesting people are, just in their confidence and inclination to formulate and express opinions, and to cope with other people doing the same.

While it may be true at times that people have nothing much of interest to say I think that could be a rationalization people make as a result of the anxiety they feel at the thought of being judged as weird for expressing their genuine opinions.

So they essentially blame other people for not expressing themselves authentically. They presume that they would be judged as weird without knowing that. Doing this means that they don't have to confront the real reasons that they feel anxious saying the unique thoughts that they have. It's much easier to tell yourself that other people would ridicule what you have to say.

Holsten

Good thread.

I think that I find people interesting, and am very good in social settings but I just don't care most of the time about them or what they say.

I mean I could go weeks without talking to a single soul and not really be bothered by it but I do enjoy meeting people and being social.

poundapunnet

Shrills wrote: »

While it may be true at times that people have nothing much of interest to say I think that could be a rationalization people make as a result of the anxiety they feel at the thought of being judged as weird for expressing their genuine opinions.

So they essentially blame other people for not expressing themselves authentically. They presume that they would be judged as weird without knowing that. Doing this means that they don't have to confront the real reasons that they feel anxious saying the unique thoughts that they have. It's much easier to tell yourself that other people would ridicule what you have to say.

Yes or you can base it on your experience of being judged. Or depending on your background and social context you can make a reasonable guess of the likelihood and tailor your conversation accordingly, which everyone does all the time anyway.

Actually what are you on about?

anncoates

poundapunnet wrote: »

I think for very very few people (though they do exist) there's not much more than small-talk going on in their heads, and they'd be the ones who look at you funny if you say something they haven't heard before. For most people small talk is just what you do in most situations with people you don't know very well. For some people as well there's more going on in their heads but they've had quite a sheltered life and don't have the framework to express it. Terrible snobby thing to say and I'm going to say it anyway, but education and travel make a big difference. Not in how interesting people are, just in their confidence and inclination to formulate and express opinions, and to cope with other people doing the same.

I think there are people that range from genuinely shallow to dislikeable but a lot just fall into the category that you just coexist with them in the same place as pleasantly as possible every day.

Funnily enough I thought of this thread this morning as I shared the lift with a colleague that I don't know well at all and he made a comment about the weather so I replied in same and we went our separate ways without recourse to incivility.

I'll gladly hold my hand up and say I small talked instead of starting an intense conversation with him about my innermost feelings at 8.30 in the morning.

UCDVet

The problem I have is that regular people (myself included) are just so damn boring. Nobody would sit down and watch a movie of my life, because it'd be boring.

It's not that I don't like people, it's virtually everyone is completely ordinary. It's like snowflakes - sure they are all unique, but at the same time, from my perspective, it's just snow.

pundy

no. people are not interesting. we're all the same, and who cares.

Shrills

poundapunnet wrote: »

Yes or you can base it on your experience of being judged. Or depending on your background and social context you can make a reasonable guess of the likelihood and tailor your conversation accordingly, which everyone does all the time anyway.

Actually what are you on about?

In short, the anger or contempt one has for others who judge them is often a result of the fear of being your true self.

SimonQuinlank

Wibbs wrote: »

Yep, because I'm neither anthropophobic nor suffer social anxiety or borderline personality disorder. It doesn't mean you have to find everyone interesting, but if you no one or the vast majority uninteresting then I would say the fault if it is such lies within. Humans are social animals, it's what we do. It's not an introvert/extravert thing either. Some extraverts can actively dislike people and how that comes out is trying to be the most important thing in the room. Many introverts I know find people fascinating, they just don't go on about it.

Social anxiety makes you dislike people?completely opposite for me and any other person I've met who suffers with it.I'd love to be able to engage in effortless small talk and get to know people like the majority of folk can,but I'm useless at it so people tend to label me as a snobby prick for being so withdrawn.

SirCreepalot

Wibbs wrote: »

Yep, because I'm neither anthropophobic nor suffer social anxiety or borderline personality disorder. It doesn't mean you have to find everyone interesting, but if you no one or the vast majority uninteresting then I would say the fault if it is such lies within. Humans are social animals, it's what we do. It's not an introvert/extravert thing either. Some extraverts can actively dislike people and how that comes out is trying to be the most important thing in the room. Many introverts I know find people fascinating, they just don't go on about it.

I am a sociable introvert. I find people absolutely fascinating and I love to venture out into the great outdoors of pubs and cafes to observe them in their natural habitats.

It would thrill me to no end to be able to capture one for close observation in my basement lab but I have yet to figure out how to operate a functional trap.

conorhal

whirlpool wrote: »

Eh, that wasn't a disagreement. It was diagnosing the topic as a mental problem and a personal "fault." Big difference, I hope you find.

No, my feelings on the matter are not a personal fault. To say I am at fault for not wanting to get to know people is pretty arrogant.

Not half as arrogant as suggesting that 90% of people are not worth your time. This kind of guff is usually the preserve of the 'Kevin the Teenager's' of this world.

Wotsername

I met one of them there people one time, Not nice, Not nice at all. Wont be doin that again any time soon Nosireeee.

Earthhorse

In any given group of people I am generally the most interesting and entertaining so I find it difficult to feign interest in other's mundane conversations and banal observations. I make no apologies for it though; if you can't open your mouth to say something witty then save your breath for breathing please.

Earthhorse

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Yes, I find people very interesting - not to the point of being a gossip though... well, most of the time. :pac:

When I'm reading a book, it's the descriptions of people that I love; I tend to skim over the descriptions of things/places.

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Same. In fact I almost only read fiction books that involve insight into the thoughts of people and their lives (reading Alice Munro "Too Much Happiness" now. That book should wet your whistle nicely ). I only realised this now looking at my book shelf...

You should check out Stoner by John Williams. It's received a lot of press recently but it is actually quite good. (And it's not about a stoner).

mikom

Earthhorse wrote: »

In any given group of people I am generally the most interesting and entertaining so I find it difficult to feign interest in other's mundane conversations and banal observations. I make no apologies for it though; if you can't open your mouth to say something witty then save your breath for breathing please.

I live in the American Garden Buildings on West Eighty-First Street on the eleventh floor. I am twenty-seven years old. I believe in taking care of myself, in a balanced diet, in a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now.

pauliebdub

it entirely depends on the people but for the most part the answer is yes!

people at work are for the most part lovely but conversations can be a bit monotonous where we talk about the same stuff, work, weather, weekends, tv and babies. We are randomly put together in the same room so there is often no great connection.

fellow students on the IT course im doing are generally very interesting and would like to know them better.

Very very few people are truly fascinating.

the types i hate are bitter people who are never happy for anyone and try to drag everyone else around them down. Yould be surprised how many of these types there are around.

Daqster

For sure.

The worst trait I feel a person can possess though, is narcissism. It really grinds my gears. The type who never really listen to what people are saying, but just really wait for their turn to speak. Cocky fcukers who think what they have to say is definitive and much more important than what anyone else could offer.

/Thread.

OnTheCouch

An 'interesting' question.

I think these days I am a lot more fascinated by the study of people, whether that be psychological or sociological, than actually speaking to people themselves, especially in recent years.

I am fine with small talk as a general rule, but once that stage has been got out of the way, I find many tend to come out with far too many clichés. As I like spending time with people from different countries, the 'honeymoon period' can often last longer, as we can discuss differences between our countries for a long time, but frequently the same problems crop up afterwards.

Strangely enough, up to my early 20s, I pretty much had no female friends. Nowadays, nearly all the new friends I make tend to be female, I don't think this is to do with sexual attraction or even reverse sexism, more so that women probably tend to be more interested in discussing the same type of sociological behaviour that I would find captivating. Whenever I meet couples these days, I usually get on better with the woman in the long run, as the man tends to come out with more 'predictable topics.' On the other hand, the two most interesting and fascinating people I have met in my life have been men.

A big problem I find with people also is how wrapped up they are in themselves. Admittedly I've spoken about myself in this post, so there is a certain amount of irony there, but at the end of the day I am just trying to answer the question posed. The amount of times I have been stuck with someone one on one and they just drone on and on about their life, their opinions on things, what they did in the past, what they intend to do in the future, without ever reciprocating; complete lack of self-awareness. Although I presume this was always the case, it is hardly a recent phenomenon.

Shrills

OnTheCouch wrote: »

An 'interesting' question.

I think these days I am a lot more fascinated by the study of people, whether that be psychological or sociological, than actually speaking to people themselves, especially in recent years.

I am fine with small talk as a general rule, but once that stage has been got out of the way, I find many tend to come out with far too many clichés. As I like spending time with people from different countries, the 'honeymoon period' can often last longer, as we can discuss differences between our countries for a long time, but frequently the same problems crop up afterwards.

Strangely enough, up to my early 20s, I pretty much had no female friends. Nowadays, nearly all the new friends I make tend to be female, I don't think this is to do with sexual attraction or even reverse sexism, more so that women probably tend to be more interested in discussing the same type of sociological behaviour that I would find captivating. Whenever I meet couples these days, I usually get on better with the woman in the long run, as the man tends to come out with more 'predictable topics.' On the other hand, the two most interesting and fascinating people I have met in my life have been men.

A big problem I find with people also is how wrapped up they are in themselves. Admittedly I've spoken about myself in this post, so there is a certain amount of irony there, but at the end of the day I am just trying to answer the question posed. The amount of times I have been stuck with someone one on one and they just drone on and on about their life, their opinions on things, what they did in the past, what they intend to do in the future, without ever reciprocating; complete lack of self-awareness. Although I presume this was always the case, it is hardly a recent phenomenon.

"Reverse sexism". :rolleyes:

Aestivalis

I find it extremely difficult to connect with people.
I try my damned hardest to get out and involved with groups and the community...but to no avail.
I'm pretty unhappy with myself.

Dublinpato

The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

Jonny Blaze

Yeah I would lean toward the negative view of people I suppose.

Such as these two women (late twenties I guess) sitting behind me on the bus the other day who just spouted the most mind numbingly mundane, boring drivel for the whole trip.

People who go on and on about their children, their pets, their work, their relationships, being a f**king vegetarian or crap they watch on tv (im looking at you sports and soap operas/ reality tv shows) I find incredibly annoying and boring.

black_frosch

No why I like people in general. They smile at me.

weemcd

Really, really depends.

I will take absolute silence over small talk every day of the week. If I go into the sauna and it is dead quiet, that's the way I like it. I will not initiate conversation if I can help it.

When I do feel social, the person is going to have to interest me in some way or I really won't care about what they have to say. I have definitely felt that some people I've talked to regularly have never had anything original to say ever, or an original thought. Conversation is simply going through the motions, I'd happily say hello and walk on if I could, but you can't always!

At the same time, when I find someone who interests me I will enjoy listening to what they have to say and finding out what makes them tick.

I tend to not be so good with new people, or groups larger than about 5/6 people, especially a group I don't know.

I've had plenty (too many) jobs dealing with the public though, I've long grown tired of the trivialities of small talk, think I have had my fill of a lifetime tbh.

TL?DR - If it ain't important, I don't wanna hear it!

SHOVELLER

For the most part.

Cant stand stupid people though and those ****ers who are still saying Happy New Year. We are halfway through January FFS:D

ofwoods

People are the best craic you're gonna find anywhere

Maximus Alexander

Not everyone can be interesting. I suspect I'm not. But plenty of people are, and yes I find those ones interesting.