Stingiest things thread(op for R&R access)

johndaman66

galway_lad wrote: »

My wife's friends, not mine In fairness they seem perfectly nice the few times I've met them.

There's another wedding from that same pool of friends pencilled in for next Summer. I joke to herself that I'll be packing the lunch boxes for the trip this time

I think your typical Irish and typical UK wedding are two very different things. The idea of dropping €25 - €30k on a wedding would likely be an absolute alien concept to your average UK citizen I would think.

My brother married an English girl in the UK about 2 years ago. Registry office wedding and only 6 guests including myself and my sister, Brides parents and her sister with her boyfriend. The brides father bought the dinner for us all. Nothing overly fancy but nice all the same. We went to a pub after and had 3 rounds of drinks, I bought one round, my sister bought the next and as I recall myself and sister bought the third round between us.

The newly wed couple didn't put their hand in their pocket for the day. Their only real costs were the registry office, hire of what I would call a tatty enough looking suit and what looked to be a bargain basement wedding dress if it was bought but most likely a hand me down. Shoes I think she already owned and no hair or makeup done. They would have done very very well from my mothers side of the family in particular with gifts of money despite the fact that none of them were invited let alone went to it. I thought it particularly lousy letting myself and sister getting the round of drinks in after giving them at least £300 each which they would of got in advance of the wedding day. My sister was not even in a job at the time while the married couple both have decent enough jobs.

I noticed the cards from her friends and family all tended to be those silly light cartoony ones that you would probably pick up 4 for £1 over there. Brother used to be relatively generous but he has become starved over time just like his wife since they met.

johndaman66

2lazytogetup wrote: »

that 'aunt' sounds like a wreck the head; hovering around tills, getting in peoples way, pretending to be nice to students, and to save a few euro. imagine the embarrasement as she tells the till operator to put those points on her card.

Wreck the head as right. I don't see that carry on as ingenious like another poster mentioned. As you say an embarrassment to the the family. If she was my aunt and I met her when I was out with a friend I would try to avoid her but if she spotted me and exchanged pleasantries I would let on to the friend after she was a mad nusiance of a neighbour living down the road from me. I am surprised store security do not clear her if she is loitering around like that for any length of time.

Cake Man

Not sure if this really counts as stingy, probably more just plain miserable IMO but anyway...fella I work with who I've kind of suspected for a while to be a stingy cnut. There's a box of fruit that comes into the office area twice a week and he's always the first that springs out of his seat to get up and raid it. Likewise, someone brought in a few tubs of muffins yesterday and, surprise surprise, he was all over them.

We were out for a team lunch last Thursday (which was being covered by the department manager) and he was sipping away on a beer beside me. Someone mentioned if they should just get a bottle of wine and split it between a few and he dived out of the chair saying he'd take a glass or two, at the thoughts of some more free drink. Fair enough, we'd all be more than happy to avail of free food and drink at work events but no need to make it so obvious that you're desperately trying to consume your weight in food and drink.

Anyway, was sitting next to him and got chatting just about plans over Christmas etc. At this stage I should point out that I live in Sydney, Australia where it is currently summer. He was telling me himself, his wife and son were going to head out to a small town in rural New South Wales (a few hours drive out of Sydney) to a cherry farm to pick cherries and make some money. He excitedly told me they were going to camp on the farm so they wouldn't have to pay for accommodation. This is a small town that averages up to nearly 40 degrees every day in summer and the grueling manual labour would usually be done by backpackers to secure their second year visas. The pay is usually per punnet/container and is pittance given that backpackers are really just there to get their next year visa as opposed to making any money.

Imagine having two weeks off work and instead of heading to the beaches, a trip interstate somewhere to enjoy the good weather or simply just to chill out at home after a long year you drag your family to a fruit farm in the middle of nowhere to grind in awful conditions for basically peanuts. This is a fella who would be on the equivalent of about E90k and his wife also has a good government job.

Mongfinder General

[quote="Cake Man;115634254"
Imagine having two weeks off work and instead of heading to the beaches, a trip interstate somewhere to enjoy the good weather or simply just to chill out at home after a long year you drag your family to a fruit farm in the middle of nowhere to grind in awful conditions for basically peanuts. This is a fella who would be on the equivalent of about E90k and his wife also has a good government job.[/quote]

You should have some fun with that information. I’m not sure how many people know about his cherry picking plans but like anywhere else, a second job means paying more tax. Print off a form or two from https://www.ato.gov.au/Individuals/Working/Working-as-an-employee/Income-from-more-than-one-job/ here and mail it to him. He’ll have a fit and think that somebody has reported him because there’s no way a stinge bag like him is going to pay tax on picking fruit.

El_Duderino 09

johndaman66 wrote: »

I think your typical Irish and typical UK wedding are two very different things. The idea of dropping €25 - €30k on a wedding would likely be an absolute alien concept to your average UK citizen I would think.

My brother married an English girl in the UK about 2 years ago. Registry office wedding and only 6 guests including myself and my sister, Brides parents and her sister with her boyfriend. The brides father bought the dinner for us all. Nothing overly fancy but nice all the same. We went to a pub after and had 3 rounds of drinks, I bought one round, my sister bought the next and as I recall myself and sister bought the third round between us.

The newly wed couple didn't put their hand in their pocket for the day. Their only real costs were the registry office, hire of what I would call a tatty enough looking suit and what looked to be a bargain basement wedding dress if it was bought but most likely a hand me down. Shoes I think she already owned and no hair or makeup done. They would have done very very well from my mothers side of the family in particular with gifts of money despite the fact that none of them were invited let alone went to it. I thought it particularly lousy letting myself and sister getting the round of drinks in after giving them at least £300 each which they would of got in advance of the wedding day. My sister was not even in a job at the time while the married couple both have decent enough jobs.

I noticed the cards from her friends and family all tended to be those silly light cartoony ones that you would probably pick up 4 for £1 over there. Brother used to be relatively generous but he has become starved over time just like his wife since they met.

You went to a different culture’s wedding and are cross that they didn’t do a wedding like your own culture.

The third round of drinks that you bought was just being a martyr. It must have been clear to you that they weren’t doing rounds after the first two rounds (but it was bad form of them to let you buy rounds if they didn’t say they would prefer to buy their own)

ohnonotgmail

johndaman66 wrote: »

I think your typical Irish and typical UK wedding are two very different things. The idea of dropping €25 - €30k on a wedding would likely be an absolute alien concept to your average UK citizen I would think.

My brother married an English girl in the UK about 2 years ago. Registry office wedding and only 6 guests including myself and my sister, Brides parents and her sister with her boyfriend. The brides father bought the dinner for us all. Nothing overly fancy but nice all the same. We went to a pub after and had 3 rounds of drinks, I bought one round, my sister bought the next and as I recall myself and sister bought the third round between us.

The newly wed couple didn't put their hand in their pocket for the day. Their only real costs were the registry office, hire of what I would call a tatty enough looking suit and what looked to be a bargain basement wedding dress if it was bought but most likely a hand me down. Shoes I think she already owned and no hair or makeup done. They would have done very very well from my mothers side of the family in particular with gifts of money despite the fact that none of them were invited let alone went to it. I thought it particularly lousy letting myself and sister getting the round of drinks in after giving them at least £300 each which they would of got in advance of the wedding day. My sister was not even in a job at the time while the married couple both have decent enough jobs.

I noticed the cards from her friends and family all tended to be those silly light cartoony ones that you would probably pick up 4 for £1 over there. Brother used to be relatively generous but he has become starved over time just like his wife since they met.

Weddings in England are a nightmare in general. They don't do them properly at all. My brother is getting married again over there next year and I'm dreading it.

El_Duderino 09

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

Weddings in England are a nightmare in general. They don't do them properly at all. My brother is getting married again over there next year and I'm dreading it.

Just do it the way the English do - when in Rome...

The English don’t waste money in general the way Irish people do. Their weddings tend to be much smaller scale. They often give £20-£40 for a couple for a gift.

These things vary depending on social class, of course. But generally speaking the English have a different way of doing weddings.

ohnonotgmail

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Just do it the way the English do - when in Rome...

The English don’t waste money in general the way Irish people do. Their weddings tend to be much smaller scale. They often give £20-£40 for a couple for a gift.

These things vary depending on social class, of course. But generally speaking the English have a different way of doing weddings.

there is "not wasting money" and "being feckin miserable". the english fall into the latter category,

El_Duderino 09

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

there is "not wasting money" and "being feckin miserable". the english fall into the latter category,

From the Irish culture perspective.

And there’s going-all-out and there’s wasting money. An Irish wedding would fall into the latter category, from the English perspective.

dinneenp

johndaman66 wrote: »

I think your typical Irish and typical UK wedding are two very different things. The idea of dropping €25 - €30k on a wedding would likely be an absolute alien concept to your average UK citizen I would think.

My brother married an English girl in the UK about 2 years ago. Registry office wedding and only 6 guests including myself and my sister, Brides parents and her sister with her boyfriend. The brides father bought the dinner for us all. Nothing overly fancy but nice all the same. We went to a pub after and had 3 rounds of drinks, I bought one round, my sister bought the next and as I recall myself and sister bought the third round between us.

The newly wed couple didn't put their hand in their pocket for the day. Their only real costs were the registry office, hire of what I would call a tatty enough looking suit and what looked to be a bargain basement wedding dress if it was bought but most likely a hand me down. Shoes I think she already owned and no hair or makeup done. They would have done very very well from my mothers side of the family in particular with gifts of money despite the fact that none of them were invited let alone went to it. I thought it particularly lousy letting myself and sister getting the round of drinks in after giving them at least £300 each which they would of got in advance of the wedding day. My sister was not even in a job at the time while the married couple both have decent enough jobs.

I noticed the cards from her friends and family all tended to be those silly light cartoony ones that you would probably pick up 4 for £1 over there. Brother used to be relatively generous but he has become starved over time just like his wife since they met.

She already owned the shoes!!!! Didn't waste money by going and buying a new pair!!!!

"bargain basement wedding dress". She didn't spend €1k or €2k on a dress that will only be worn for one day!!!!!! What a stinge.

ohnonotgmail

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

From the Irish culture perspective.

And there’s going-all-out and there’s wasting money. An Irish wedding would fall into the latter category, from the English perspective.

oddly enough I am giving an opinion from an irish culture perspective. how very strange of me.

El_Duderino 09

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

oddly enough I am giving an opinion from an irish culture perspective. how very strange of me.

Yeah. And it’s not really valid to pass judgement on a wedding in a different culture.

The English don’t tend to do rounds. If an Irish person expects them to do rounds, and they don’t, then it’s foolish to keep buying rounds.
Likewise, going to an English wedding and giving £200 (10 times the going rate because it’s the Irish custom) is foolish. It’s similar to giving €2000 at an Irish wedding instead of €200.

When in Rome...

Dodge

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

When in Rome...

If you want to use that logic, English people are notoriously stingy when visiting here. They certainly don’t believe the ‘when in Rome’ mantra...

ohnonotgmail

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Yeah. And it’s not really valid to pass judgement on a wedding in a different culture.

The English don’t tend to do rounds. If an Irish person expects them to do rounds, and they don’t, then it’s foolish to keep buying rounds.
Likewise, going to an English wedding and giving £200 (10 times the going rate because it’s the Irish custom) is foolish. It’s similar to giving €2000 at an Irish wedding instead of €200.

When in Rome...

I'll pass judgement when I see fit, thanks.

El_Duderino 09

Dodge wrote: »

If you want to use that logic, English people are notoriously stingy when visiting here. They certainly don’t believe the ‘when in Rome’ mantra...

I do use that logic and then applying Irish customs in Ireland makes sense. When they fail to “when in Rome” then they’re stingy. Likewise going to an English wedding and buying rounds is foolish.

fitzparker

Sure there was only 8 drinks bought, in England is about £25

you weren't asked to buy a round or split the third one. But you did have your meal paid for by the father in law so it balanced out.

the purple tin

I've never heard of a wedding reception in a pub - unless it has been hired out for the occasion and closed to the public.
Did they just clink a glass with a fork and stand up and do the speeches?
Everyone else in the place going WTF

ohnonotgmail

the purple tin wrote: »

I've never heard of a wedding reception in a pub - unless it has been hired out for the occasion and closed to the public.
Did they just clink a glass with a fork and stand up and do the speeches?
Everyone else in the place going WTF

yeah. miserable affairs.

El_Duderino 09

the purple tin wrote: »

I've never heard of a wedding reception in a pub - unless it has been hired out for the occasion and closed to the public.
Did they just clink a glass with a fork and stand up and do the speeches?
Everyone else in the place going WTF

If there were just 8 of them, it would have been odd to rent out a function room.

The English do weddings on a smaller scale. 6 guests is a very small scale, but reception in a pub would probably be most appropriate for 8 people. Why would they need get everyone’s attention to do a speech to an audience of 7 people? Wouldn’t they just say what they wanted to say to the guests around the table if they were even doing formal speeches?

the purple tin

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

If there were just 8 of them, it would have been odd to rent out a function room.

The English do weddings on a smaller scale. 6 guests is a very small scale, but reception in a pub would probably be most appropriate for 8 people. Why would they need get everyone’s attention to do a speech to an audience of 7 people? Wouldn’t they just say what they wanted to say if they were even doing formal speeches?

Hire the room above the pub or go back to somebodys house and have the reception there.
Doing wedding speeches in a pub sounds weird. Could be a good comedy sketch maybe.

El_Duderino 09

the purple tin wrote: »

Hire the room above the pub or go back to somebodys house and have the reception there.
Doing wedding speeches in a pub sounds weird. Could be a good comedy sketch maybe.

Why would they do wedding speeches to the entire pub if only 7 of the people on the whole pub are in the wedding party?

This is what I mean by it not being valid to impose our standards on their culture.

the purple tin

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

If there were just 8 of them, it would have been odd to rent out a function room.

The English do weddings on a smaller scale. 6 guests is a very small scale, but reception in a pub would probably be most appropriate for 8 people. Why would they need get everyone’s attention to do a speech to an audience of 7 people? Wouldn’t they just say what they wanted to say to the guests around the table if they were even doing formal speeches?

I don't know if you can speak for an entire country either even if you are English.
I've been to weddings in England and Scotland years ago and they were pretty much identical to here. Function room in hotel, band or DJ, cake, drinking and dancing til late.

Dodge

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

This is what I mean by it not being valid to impose our standards on their culture.

Sure it is. It’s a light hearted thread on stinginess. We can pass judgement on whoever we like

When it comes to weddings, I'm all for a small group and not wasting money on stuff that's not essential - wear jeans and t-shirt if you want and have a picnic in a field....

BUT, what is always essential when you invite people to a celebration is food and drinks for your guests - you can't be a stinge with that part of a wedding

El_Duderino 09

the purple tin wrote: »

I don't know if you can speak for an entire country either even if you are English.
I've been to weddings in England and Scotland years ago and they were pretty much identical to here. Function room in hotel, band or DJ, cake, drinking and dancing til late.

I don’t speak for all the English (I said these things vary by class).

I am certain that a small wedding and reception in a pub or rugby club or working men’s club, would be more common in England than Ireland.

galway_lad

the purple tin wrote: »

I've never heard of a wedding reception in a pub - unless it has been hired out for the occasion and closed to the public.
Did they just clink a glass with a fork and stand up and do the speeches?
Everyone else in the place going WTF

I worked the bar for one of these in Ireland in the 2000s. An Eastern European couple. The bar was not closed. They did their first dance and the whole pub clapped, then they just stuck to their area to the side.

I think it's easy to get mixed up with nationalities and stereotypes and limited exposure. Last Feb was out for a working lunch/pint-session with some Dutch visitors. Round one in, fine. I went up for the next. Since it was expensed and all that, and I was going to the jacks I didn't even blink to ask if people wanted another. Of course they did. I land back with the drinks, one of the Dutch lads says he's ok (with the little bit he had left) so quickly grabs the glass brings it to the bar and looks for a refund! There was a bit of agro and they fobbed him off with a couple of quid, which he then pocketed!

The_Conductor

Deleted User wrote: »

When it comes to weddings, I'm all for a small group and not wasting money on stuff that's not essential - wear jeans and t-shirt if you want and have a picnic in a field....

BUT, what is always essential when you invite people to a celebration is food and drinks for your guests - you can't be a stinge with that part of a wedding

It all depends- its the norm here- however, other parts of the world would have different practices (and indeed- some of them are a lot more extravagant than even here- I've fond memories of a procession of elephants at a wedding ceremony in India for example).

Its not really appropriate to equate the practices elsewhere- with what is normal here.

I've also been at a tiny registry office wedding here- where I went for drinks with the bride and groom afterwards- no food, no fuss- just the two witnesses and the bride and groom- they wanted it as quiet as possible.

My own wedding had 7 people at it- as my now wife was extremely ill and undergoing chemotherapy at the time- that said, we did have a nice cake which we distributed to both sides of the family, and brought the rest out to Rolys for dinner.

Different practices for different people.

a_squirrelman

galway_lad wrote: »

I worked the bar for one of these in Ireland in the 2000s. An Eastern European couple. The bar was not closed. They did their first dance and the whole pub clapped, then they just stuck to their area to the side.

I think it's easy to get mixed up with nationalities and stereotypes and limited exposure. Last Feb was out for a working lunch/pint-session with some Dutch visitors. Round one in, fine. I went up for the next. Since it was expensed and all that, and I was going to the jacks I didn't even blink to ask if people wanted another. Of course they did. I land back with the drinks, one of the Dutch lads says he's ok (with the little bit he had left) so quickly grabs the glass brings it to the bar and looks for a refund! There was a bit of agro and they fobbed him off with a couple of quid, which he then pocketed!

Jaysus, I'd have asked him for that cash, cheeky monkey.

galway_lad

a_squirrelman wrote: »

Jaysus, I'd have asked him for that cash, cheeky monkey.

But since I was expensing the whole affair that would have made me the stinge Dangerous waters.

a_squirrelman

galway_lad wrote: »

But since I was expensing the whole affair that would have made me the stinge Dangerous waters.

Oh I understand ya, but throwing it in some poor box or tipping the bar staff would be better than that stinge pocketing it.


What was he thinking like, the mind boggles.