Stingiest things thread(op for R&R access)

westcoast66

razorblunt wrote: »

I was at a wedding at the weekend just gone. There was no "wedding list" but the invite had stated "gifts weren't necessary" but if people felt inclined to give something then donations to the Honeymoon Fund were more than welcome. I have no issues with this, I never buy off a list anyway, I just give cash or do a bank transfer.
The venue was an old country house, renowned for their food and the bride and groom had secured a really decent price per room if the full thing was booked out.

Apparently there are donations to their fund for £15 (from one couple), that's £7.50 each.

Better than a slap in the face from a wet fish I concede, but to me that's incredibly stingy. The only thing I haven't ruled out is if the groom had stiffed them before at their wedding ( he used to be a bit deep pocket - short handed) but his now wife, had always sorted presents and basically shamed the meaness out of him. He may have been at their wedding before meeting her and done likewise to them.

To be honest, I think the couple are being the stinge here. Whats wrong with just saying 'no gifts are necessary' and leaving it at that? It sounds like they just wanted cash but added the prelude to make them look less crass.

ohnonotgmail

westcoast66 wrote: »

To be honest, I think the couple are being the stinge here. Whats wrong with just saying 'no gifts are necessary' and leaving it at that? It sounds like they just wanted cash but added the prelude to make them look less crass.

Its stingy to ask your wedding guests for a gift? Since when?

razorblunt

westcoast66 wrote: »

To be honest, I think the couple are being the stinge here. Whats wrong with just saying 'no gifts are necessary' and leaving it at that? It sounds like they just wanted cash but added the prelude to make them look less crass.

Hardly, it's just normal convention at weddings these days to state that. If they want cash, that's fine, if they want a knife block from Debenhams, that's also fine.

ligerdub wrote: »

What about people who donated 0?

I agree though it's a bit tight given the cost involved in putting it on. Having said that the cost of attending weddings, particularly if there are a few in a year (tends to happen at certain ages, thankfully I have few friends, and most of them don't seem the marrying type ) can be very expensive. So if people get the chance to save a few quid then they're likely to take it.

£15 is **** though to be fair! I find weddings to be ridiculously garish these days though, I don't think a friend of yours getting married should set you back all that much.

With regards to £0, I think I'd almost prefer to receive that, given if I was in the newly wed shoes I'd know it's what I had stated. The fact they thought the whole day was worth £7.50 is probably what I'd have the biggest issue with.

The Draugan

westcoast66 wrote: »

To be honest, I think the couple are being the stinge here. Whats wrong with just saying 'no gifts are necessary' and leaving it at that? It sounds like they just wanted cash but added the prelude to make them look less crass.

I think that's a smart move by the couple to be honest , most people getting married now have their own place either renting or owning by the time they get married and all the appliances , cutlery , picture frames etc they need. People still like to give presents for weddings by why have them waste their money on stuff you already have , don't need or didn't want in the first place.

I do think it was kind of a dick move looking back over how much each individual or couple gave like if your going to do it do it anonymously.

razorblunt

The Draugan wrote: »

I think that's a smart move by the couple to be honest , most people getting married now have their own place either renting or owning by the time they get married and all the appliances , cutlery , picture frames etc they need. People still like to give presents for weddings by why have them waste their money on stuff you already have , don't need or didn't want in the first place.

I do think it was kind of a dick move looking back over how much each individual or couple gave like if your going to do it do it anonymously.

Just to clarify on that point, it wasn't the couple that knew about the gift, I'm sure they know now obviously. But it came out after a friend, also at the wedding was chatting afterwards as the topic came up at their table as to whether people had sent a gift or not.
For the record, I think the table covered all possibilities:
- No gift
- "Usual" amount for a wedding
- The £15
- Voucher for John Lewis

The Draugan

razorblunt wrote: »

Just to clarify on that point, it wasn't the couple that knew about the gift, I'm sure they know now obviously. But it came out after a friend, also at the wedding was chatting afterwards as the topic came up at their table as to whether people had sent a gift or not.
For the record, I think the table covered all possibilities:
- No gift
- "Usual" amount for a wedding
- The £15
- Voucher for John Lewis

ah right i see yeah that is different to be fair , i do think giving only £15 or nothing is a bit on the stingy side to be honest.

We will be doing something similar at our wedding just an anonymous donation and we'll book a big holiday later in the year, my aunt and uncle are offering to pay for the hotel as a present and her Mum and her aunts have said they'l club together to get flights and that ... Just much handier then getting a load of gifts that we have no space for at the minute.

ligerdub

It depends how much people have as disposable income.

A few years back this wouldn't have been critiqued as much, as so many people were struggling. While the struggles for many have subsided a lot, there are still a lot of people living off scraps just before payday.

Red Kev

So I'm in the car park at lunchtime, it's a place that I'm in two days a week on a contract. I've a bottle of concentrated screenwash/antifreeze and I'm putting a drop in the washer bottle of the car. I usually fill it 1/4 of the way (1/3rd in winter) and then you fill the remainder of the bottle up with water. It's rated to -50 C, so mixing it 1:3 still means it won't freeze until it's -16 C, and that's not happening this week.

I'm parked near the smoking shelter thing and this woman (who never shuts up giving out about people) asks me what I'm doing and when I tell her, she asks can she have some....I say no bother. As there's a fair amount of crap being sprayed up with all the salt on the roads I'm happy to give people a hand out.

I pour in about enough to fill her washer bottle up by 1/3rd.
She says fill it up.
It's concentrate, just fill the rest up with water, it'll be grand.
No, fill it up fully.
There's no point, just fill the rest up with water.
Fill it up fully, I'll take the rest out when I go home.
Huh? How?
With a syringe or something, that stuff's expensive I bet, now just fill the fcuking thing up.


Now, I mean, don't get me wrong, this stuff is €10 a 5l bottle and it's a case of me giving her another €2.00 worth of the stuff or not as i would have emptied the can into her car (there's about a litre left in it). Maybe it's me, who is stingy, but the way she commanded me to do it plssed me off. As well as that she is no longer stuck for washer fluid (she didn't know how to open the bonnet BTW, her bottle was empty a while IMO) and I've a bit left in reserve (I do about 800-1,000 km per week) in case I get stuck myself.

I just thought her attitude was crap, and it plssed me off a lot as I was trying to do her a good turn.

OhHiMark

Red Kev wrote: »

So I'm in the car park at lunchtime, it's a place that I'm in two days a week on a contract. I've a bottle of concentrated screenwash/antifreeze and I'm putting a drop in the washer bottle of the car. I usually fill it 1/4 of the way (1/3rd in winter) and then you fill the remainder of the bottle up with water. It's rated to -50 C, so mixing it 1:3 still means it won't freeze until it's -16 C, and that's not happening this week.

I'm parked near the smoking shelter thing and this woman (who never shuts up giving out about people) asks me what I'm doing and when I tell her, she asks can she have some....I say no bother. As there's a fair amount of crap being sprayed up with all the salt on the roads I'm happy to give people a hand out.

I pour in about enough to fill her washer bottle up by 1/3rd.
She says fill it up.
It's concentrate, just fill the rest up with water, it'll be grand.
No, fill it up fully.
There's no point, just fill the rest up with water.
Fill it up fully, I'll take the rest out when I go home.
Huh? How?
With a syringe or something, that stuff's expensive I bet, now just fill the fcuking thing up.


Now, I mean, don't get me wrong, this stuff is €10 a 5l bottle and it's a case of me giving her another €2.00 worth of the stuff or not as i would have emptied the can into her car (there's about a litre left in it). Maybe it's me, who is stingy, but the way she commanded me to do it plssed me off. As well as that she is no longer stuck for washer fluid (she didn't know how to open the bonnet BTW, her bottle was empty a while IMO) and I've a bit left in reserve (I do about 800-1,000 km per week) in case I get stuck myself.

I just thought her attitude was crap, and it plssed me off a lot as I was trying to do her a good turn.

You should have just poured it on the ground in front of her.

Dan Jaman

Red Kev wrote: »

Fill it up fully, I'll take the rest out when I go home.
Huh? How?
With a syringe or something, that stuff's expensive I bet, now just fill the fcuking thing up.

The ungrateful baggage. Actually, she seems just like the hard-bitten user type who has the knee-jerk reaction of grabbing advantage of any situation.
When it goes on for long enough, it's hard to distinguish it from a mental illness.

bucketybuck

The Draugan wrote: »

I do think it was kind of a dick move looking back over how much each individual or couple gave like if your going to do it do it anonymously.

I thought all couples opened the cards and accounted for who gave what so that they could send out "thank you for the gift" cards?

Red Kev wrote: »

I just thought her attitude was crap, and it plssed me off a lot as I was trying to do her a good turn.

Please tell me you had enough self respect to tell her where to go?

rawn

bucketybuck wrote: »

I thought all couples opened the cards and accounted for who gave what so that they could send out "thank you for the gift" cards?

We did this after our wedding, but we just made a list of guests names and wrote "cash" or "gift" beside it so we knew what to thank them for but we didn't want to remember when writing the thank you card how much it was, as we were grateful for everything we got. Having said that, we couldn't help but raise our eyebrows at some of the small amounts (we're only human!). Four of my relatives (two aunts and two uncles, no couples), put €50 in one card from all of them, and they're all quite well-to-do. But sure, a gift is a gift whatever form it takes

osarusan

Red Kev wrote: »

With a syringe or something, that stuff's expensive I bet, now just fill the fcuking thing up

"Sorry I need it for myself but I'll fill it up with water for you, let me get some from the toilet."

"That water looks a bit yellow."

"Nah it's grand."

Electric Sheep

The Draugan wrote: »

I think that's a smart move by the couple to be honest , most people getting married now have their own place either renting or owning by the time they get married and all the appliances , cutlery , picture frames etc they need. People still like to give presents for weddings by why have them waste their money on stuff you already have , don't need or didn't want in the first place.

I do think it was kind of a dick move looking back over how much each individual or couple gave like if your going to do it do it anonymously.

It's part of the great Irish wedding pretense - "no gift necessary", but we keep a spreadsheet of every penny given and by whom, and will gossip about it afterward.

Capt'n Midnight

4ensic15 wrote: »

How are 50 christmas cards equivalent to 200 wedding invites?

Four letters. R.S.V.P.

Send out 50 invites at a time and re-use the stamps off the replies for the next lot. :cool:

jca

Red Kev wrote: »

So I'm in the car park at lunchtime, it's a place that I'm in two days a week on a contract. I've a bottle of concentrated screenwash/antifreeze and I'm putting a drop in the washer bottle of the car. I usually fill it 1/4 of the way (1/3rd in winter) and then you fill the remainder of the bottle up with water. It's rated to -50 C, so mixing it 1:3 still means it won't freeze until it's -16 C, and that's not happening this week.

I'm parked near the smoking shelter thing and this woman (who never shuts up giving out about people) asks me what I'm doing and when I tell her, she asks can she have some....I say no bother. As there's a fair amount of crap being sprayed up with all the salt on the roads I'm happy to give people a hand out.

I pour in about enough to fill her washer bottle up by 1/3rd.
She says fill it up.
It's concentrate, just fill the rest up with water, it'll be grand.
No, fill it up fully.
There's no point, just fill the rest up with water.
Fill it up fully, I'll take the rest out when I go home.
Huh? How?
With a syringe or something, that stuff's expensive I bet, now just fill the fcuking thing up.


Now, I mean, don't get me wrong, this stuff is €10 a 5l bottle and it's a case of me giving her another €2.00 worth of the stuff or not as i would have emptied the can into her car (there's about a litre left in it). Maybe it's me, who is stingy, but the way she commanded me to do it plssed me off. As well as that she is no longer stuck for washer fluid (she didn't know how to open the bonnet BTW, her bottle was empty a while IMO) and I've a bit left in reserve (I do about 800-1,000 km per week) in case I get stuck myself.

I just thought her attitude was crap, and it plssed me off a lot as I was trying to do her a good turn.

The fcukin ungrateful aul wagon, I'd have left the bonnet up on the stay and walked back to my car, hopefully she wouldn't be able to close it. That's beyond the beyond, unbelievable!!!

Red Kev

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Four letters. R.S.V.P.

Send out 50 invites at a time and re-use the stamps off the replies for the next lot. :cool:

Sounds like the kind of wedding where the complimentary drink is a pint of Miwadi Orange.

westcoast66

I really am amazed about all the talk about gifts at a wedding. My wife was always thought that it was rude to ask for a gift in any circumstance! We had a no gifts policy at our wedding but nominated a charity if people wanted to donate anonymously.

razorblunt

westcoast66 wrote: »

I really am amazed about all the talk about gifts at a wedding. My wife was always thought that it was rude to ask for a gift in any circumstance! We had a no gifts policy at our wedding but nominated a charity if people wanted to donate anonymously.

There was a whole thread on it before, worth searching for and reading, just to see people's complete inability to see and respect other people's opinions more than anything else. You'd swear it was a conversation between religious zealots!!

OCEANIC FIZZY POP NINE

Isin't the wedding forum supposed to be a great laugh aswell?? Someone said. Must check it out

Here it is...

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=670

Edit: That hat one has potential straight away...

rawn

OCEANIC FIZZY POP NINE wrote: »

Isin't the wedding forum supposed to be a great laugh aswell?? Someone said. Must check it out

Here it is...

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=670

Edit: That hat one has potential straight away...

Nothing beats the thread in the wedding forum where the bride and groom didn't feed their guests, the thread was deleted though :pac:

OCEANIC FIZZY POP NINE

rawn wrote: »

Nothing beats the thread in the wedding forum where the bride and groom didn't feed their guests, the thread was deleted though :pac:

Why was it deleted?

ncmc

OCEANIC FIZZY POP NINE wrote: »

Why was it deleted?

IIRC there were some fairly identifying elements in it and other guests were posting on it so I think the mods were worried the bride and groom would come across it. I didn't read it all as it was a mammoth thread, but the parts I did read were jaw dropping, a true masterclass in stinge. It wasn't that they didn't feed the guests, they did feed people but then expected the guests to pay for their meals!

rawn

ncmc wrote: »

IIRC there were some fairly identifying elements in it and other guests were posting on it so I think the mods were worried the bride and groom would come across it. I didn't read it all as it was a mammoth thread, but the parts I did read were jaw dropping, a true masterclass in stinge. It wasn't that they didn't feed the guests, they did feed people but then expected the guests to pay for their meals!

And they were really cagey about not feeding people. Like, it was a day long event but they didn't specify there'd be no food for guests (except bridesmaids/groomsmen, who they tried to get to pay for it) and when asked they dodged the question. The guests had to wait around for them to finish eating before moving on to the reception... where there wasn't so much as a sandwich! Also at one point they opened some cards in front of guests and counted money :eek:

mzungu

ncmc wrote: »

IIRC there were some fairly identifying elements in it and other guests were posting on it so I think the mods were worried the bride and groom would come across it. I didn't read it all as it was a mammoth thread, but the parts I did read were jaw dropping, a true masterclass in stinge. It wasn't that they didn't feed the guests, they did feed people but then expected the guests to pay for their meals!

rawn wrote: »

And they were really cagey about not feeding people. Like, it was a day long event but they didn't specify there'd be no food for guests (except bridesmaids/groomsmen, who they tried to get to pay for it) and when asked they dodged the question. The guests had to wait around for them to finish eating before moving on to the reception... where there wasn't so much as a sandwich! Also at one point they opened some cards in front of guests and counted money :eek:

Oh sweet divine jaysus. :eek:

Kolido

rawn wrote: »

Nothing beats the thread in the wedding forum where the bride and groom didn't feed their guests, the thread was deleted though :pac:

Why would they need to feed their guests, where they all babies?

ohnonotgmail

Kolido wrote: »

Why would they need to feed their guests, where they all babies?

if you invite somebody to an all day event you expect food to be provided.

Gunslinger92

ncmc wrote: »

IIRC there were some fairly identifying elements in it and other guests were posting on it so I think the mods were worried the bride and groom would come across it. I didn't read it all as it was a mammoth thread, but the parts I did read were jaw dropping, a true masterclass in stinge. It wasn't that they didn't feed the guests, they did feed people but then expected the guests to pay for their meals!

bridesmaid-gate right?

"requesting guest specific gift" is a very very close second :pac:

Trent Houseboat

Stonedpilot wrote:

Knew a Cork fella tighter than a drum, he would go to any sort of meeting to get free tea,coffee and cake. Anything at all, AA,NA,Grow, Cancer support groups, charity events, bereavement gathering, art exhibitions, the opening of events, new refurbishments on libraries etc etc. Think the gig was up when he tried women only events like ante natal groups. Wouldn't surprise me if this lad donned a wig, had a shave and stuffed a pillow down his jumper to try and get some free tea and biscuits.

I am Jack's sense of suspicion

Katgurl

5rtytry56 wrote: »

An American tourist couple in a Dublin City centre shop taking up all the single staff time by chatting. I won't specify the type of shop.
I come into the shop and see the pair talking away to him. I wait around 5 minutes then remembered an errand I needed to do. I leave.
I come back 15 minutes later to the shop window
The same pair are still babbling away to him I can see.

This is how they spend their Irish holiday.

annoying yes but how is that stingy?