My boss is horrible

LegacyUser

Hi there,

Sorry for the length of post.

I've been in my current job for nearly 3.5 years. I love my job. The work is fine and the banter is good in the office and I enjoy my day to day.

The only fly in the ointment is my boss. Not my direct boss - my line manager is a legend and I'd be lost without them - but the actual MD of the company.

The boss is just a pr!ck. There's no other way of putting it. They became MD 2 years ago and they really took the ego boost to another level. They march around the office acting as though they're interested in everyone working here and are up for the craic but they are power-mad and they seem to really have it out for me.

I take my job quite seriously and it's really important for me to do well in my work. And most of the time, I do ok, but the boss has this unbelievable habit of nitpicking my work, which I can appreciate to a certain extent owing to the responsibility of their role.

It's mostly personal jabs at me that make me hate them and I'm wondering if this is normal for a mid-senior level employee to have this kind of behaviour from their MD:

- Checking my work and singling out my work, which is the same as the other 10 people on my team
- Chasing me constantly with time wasting tasks to ensure I "stay busy" (I work very quickly and can be left at a loose end at 5:15 some days so pack up early as I finish at 5:30)
- Staring at me every time they walk past my desk
- I have reason to believe they read my work emails (I am adept at IT and noticed an electric paper trail)
- Ignoring me during meetings, even to go as far as interrupting me when I am speaking or silencing me with a wave of their hand.

My personal pet peeve is the sending emails to me entitled "An Observation" which then entails them pointing out various things they don't like about me. Over the last year, they have consisted of using my mobile at my desk (I was checking the time whilst running a full screen application), wearing runners (when I had a fractured ankle and sit at my desk all day, not moving), drinking diet coke at my desk (nothing in rules about drinks at desks), coming in one day at 09:02, crying in work (when a close friend passed away) and various other petty things.

I have spoken to other members of my team about feeling singled out and they have said they've never gotten a single email from the MD directly. I've raised the issue with my manager who brushed it off as a personality clash but I'm really starting to feel victimized.

The last straw was that I put in for my Christmas leave this week, nearly a full year in advance, and the MD isnt even involved in the annual leave side of things. Backstory, my dad is dying of cancer and will most likely pass early in 2015 and it's really important for us to be together this Christmas. Anyway, got an email from my line manager to say that the MD has blocked my Christmas leave request pending review and pending me hitting my targets in Q1.

This has never happened before, as Christmas leave is first come, first serve and there's never any MD involvement.

My mam says it sounds like they're trying to push me out by making it difficult to work there and I agree with her, or at least that's how it feels.

Anyone ever been in this situation? Any advice?

Fairytots

This is awful and makes me angry, why do they think they can get away with that? Come on, wearing runners with a fractured ankle is nothing to complain about, surly the company has much more things to worry about than that???
Regarding your annual leave, your Dad is the most important and No: 1 at this time, and you need to cherish whatever time you have left with him. Im so sorry to hear this, I hope you can be strong for him, yourself and your family.

(Please dont take my advice, it may not be whats best for you) I too was in a similar situation (regarding work, not my Dad, hes fit and healthy thank goodness). I was working long hours and putting in everything, getting nothing and having a terrible relationship with my daughter (due to not been there and too tired when I was). I felt bullied, not by immediate co workers, but like you - all the way at the top.

All the time they took me aside and commented on smoking - none of their business! Honking their car horn as they drove past while I was smoking on my break. I was told to take more exercise and lose weight... believe me when I say mentally and physically this messed me up.

I was told that I could not go to my sister wedding because I had to work that day... What did I do? I went and handed in my notice which was actually handed back to me and told me to 'think about it, your a good worker, I think your making a big mistake'. I did take it back, but handed it in the next day, I told them to shove it, my family comes first and ALWAYS will come first, and I worked only 2 weeks notice I'm not by any means telling you that leaving your job is a good idea, but you must do what is best for you at this time. As a result of leaving my job, I did end up in a job with serious lack of earnings for 1 year, but then moved onto a bigger and better job and earning twice as much. I think things happen for a reason, for me it has been the best thing Ive done.

I really hope you make the right decision for you. Even if you stay, chin up and keep your head down, karma... If your anything like me and cant keep your head down, then:
- I'd request a stop watch for the next time your timing a full screen application )
- When your thirsty ask them to install a water machine )
- If you fracture your ankle again wear in flat shoes and bring a pair of big ass comfy slippers and make a scene at the desk while putting them on.
- If they shussh you in any further meetings, shussh them back and tell them that your mother said it was rude to interrupt someone while their talking, and continue )
- If you happened to cry again in work warn them that your FULL of pms (if your a girl of course) and demand a mental health day (chocolate, couch and movies - winner)

And as for Christmas: Agree to work and then on the day - tell them where to go leaving them in the sh1t... I did that on New Years Day I lost triple pay Lifes too short, I'd be happier knowing that I've enjoyed life than having any regrets I wish you the very best and really hope your Dad will be around for a long long time to come, make the most of today, and everyday that you can with him.

LegacyUser

My feeling is that your MD want to make life as difficult as possible for your work wise so you will have an fight with him so he can fire you or that you will leave due to the constant nit picking ect. If either of these happen they will not have to pay you redundancy.

This is what you need to do from now

Give yourself a month from now to get all the emails you have got from both the MD and line manager over the past few months out of work. Send them to an email address you have set up, save them on a memory stick and print them out.
Make sure the "An Observation" are part of this.
I would also get the one in regards to the time you asked off for Christmas.

I would go onto www.solocheck.ie and for a small fee you can get the company directors names, company registered address, financial information ect

In a months time I would get some legal advice from an employment solicitor re what the MD is doing/saying and the fact he is keep an eye on the emails you are sending in work.
Show all of the things you have gathered over this period of time.

At this stage you may be able to send a solicitor's letter re bullying in the work place to the company owners/directors or perhaps they could get a call from the media re bullying in the work place.
The company owner or directors will not want the cost of a legal case or publicity in regards to work place bullying so the MD could be told how not to act.

Also in regards to the "An Observation" - I would send this on to a friend in the company and say did you get this also?
Make some comment re the MD when you send this ie did you see the suit - like it should be on my big fat gipsy wedding? If he make a comment you know they are looking at your emails.

Have you a friend who works in IT. Tell them what is going on and tell them you think he is reading your work emails. See what you can do to prove this.

Once you get legal advice I would decide what do then.

Mrs OBumble

OP, the advice above is all good, and your MD sounds like he's setting himself up for you to win a constructive dismissal case.

But just make sure that you really want to face the aggravation of going through with it. Even if he goads you into leaving, actually taking it to court is a lot of work, and would take a lot of effort.

It may be simpler just to walk away and get a job elsehwhere.

LegacyUser

The MD is a bully and is definitely trying to make it unbearable for you to continue working there so that you will leave. It's very similar to a position I was in a few years ago.

My advise is:
1. Don't take anything personally. It's nothing to do with you or that you are doing anything wrong - bullies always need somebody to be their target and you are the current one.

2. Find another job and get out of there. I know you feel you should be able to solve this problem as you are a reasonable person and probably don't really understand why this is happening. BUT he is not a reasonable person and will keep grinding you down until you are totally stressed out. Yes it should be possible for you to gather evidence and fight this, and some people do this, but at the end of the day your health and wellbeing is more important and the best thing is to get away from this environment.

Believe me, I am speaking from experience. I thought that I could resolve the issues with my boss and spent years in total misery while he wore away my personality and positivity. When I eventually left it felt terrible, like I had given in, but believe me it was the best thing I ever did and within a few weeks he was targeting somebody else in the company!

Best of luck OP