Stess & anxiety

Troubled Soul

Hi everyone. I've been a lurker in this forum for a long time, and only getting around to post now as I'm now in a place where I am no longer going to allow alcohol to have control over me, and I am committed to giving up for good.

A little about me. I've been drinking at night every night for the best part of 5 years, and it wasn't a lot better before that. The amounts of alcohol varied over this time, but half a bottle of vodka and several cans of beer after that would have been common enough. I do not wake up wanting a drink, nor do I drink during the day. My alcohol issues stem around anxiety and stress, and without it I have struggled to sleep for as long as I can remember. It is fair to say that I do not know how to go asleep on my own any more, for fear of being awake all night or if I do drop off I have horrendous nightmares.

Going back to the root of my problem, I was married previously and for a long time I was locked into a mentally and physically abusive relationship. I began drinking a night or two a week to numb the pain of it all, and without realising it at the time, I was horribly depressed. I'm sure it's of no great surprise to anyone when I say that the very thing I used to control my stress and worries eventually took hold of me. I used to think better of myself, and that I wasn't an alcoholic because I didn't drink day and night, and the rest of my life hasn't fallen apart over it. It's a fools notion.

I've made previous attempts at giving up, and went to my doctor etc. I don't feel like I've great support there to be honest, and it just feels like I'm being run out the door with a prescription of tranquillizers in my hand. When I was given those in the past they lost effect, so I ended up on those and began drinking again (dangerous I know). I've attended AA, and while the people there were lovely, I'm not comfortable with the religious element. With the exception of reading everybody elses posts here, I really can't find any more (Irish) support online. I realise of course that the only thing that can get me through this is will power, and determination, but I fear night like I can't describe to you. I'm drinking the calming tea, using Bach's night remedy and lozenges to help calm my anxiety. Baths don't make sleepy, they revive and awaken me. Meditation is lost on me too.

I suppose what I want to know has anyone else experienced anything like me? I can't put my head on my pillow without my every day worries flying around in my head. As an aside, last night was my first night in months having a drink free night. I didn't sleep a wink, but I did it

Any advice or support would be great guys, thanks in advance.

Markoneill27

I've made a lot of changes in my life recently that have made me a lot happier!

Here's a few

If you hang with people who are drinking buddies then stop.. For your own good
Relax! Put your feet up and enjoy a film or 4!
Get your sleeping schedule back on track! Like you I used to struggle to sleep and be very lethargic the next day! Go to sleep at 10 every night and get up at 6/8 every morning! Eventually you will get used to it
Change your diet! Eating a healthy diet will make your body adjust to the changes.. Will help you feel less lethargic and make you feel better in general
And finally
Exercise! Exercise is a great stress reliever! Go to a gym or just go out a run! You'll be amazed how clear your brain becomes

Also I used to be really fat and you could probably apply the same 3 things I done to stop eating to stop drinking

When you go to get a drink.. Wait 30 minutes and see if you still want it.. If you do wait another 30.. Eventually the cravings will pass
And DO NOT keep alcohol in your house.. If it's not there you can't drink it!

Good lucky

Sunnyisland

I suppose what I want to know has anyone else experienced anything like me? I can't put my head on my pillow without my every day worries flying around in my head. As an aside, last night was my first night in months having a drink free night. I didn't sleep a wink, but I did it

Any advice or support would be great guys, thanks in advance.[/QUOTE]

Here are a few tips to help you troubled soul ,Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Wow – this seems so simple. I have changed my focus from “I can’t have alcohol” to “I get to live my life with a clear head and no regret.” This helps most when I have the inkling of deprivation – I turn it around immediately to focus on what I am gaining by getting alcohol out of my life – not what I am supposedly “losing.

Work to become and stay sober. This is fact. You can’t hope or pray or wish to be sober, you have to actively work to be sober. That doesn’t mean it has to be your focus all day and night, but it means creating a plan and sticking to it. For me, this also means telling people out loud or in writing what my plan is. I have proven fairly good at lying to myself over the years, but not very good at lying to others. This did meant, for me individual counseling. And a daily plan, written somewhere to stay sober.

Understand one day at a time and the serenity prayer. I am not a religious person, but these words speak to me: “…grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to tell the difference.” When Starting of I focused on the first part of that saying, but I have come to realize the importance of the second part, too. As a perfectionist I needed to learn to accept what I can’t change, but waking up from denial has made me realize that I also need to work on changing the things I CAN change. One day at a time was a revelation. Although I have heard it MANY times, I finally realize the power in that statement. I don’t have to worry about the camping trip next summer without AL – I just have to make it through today sober.

Exercise is key. Exercise is a natural way to release those endorphins that enhance my mood and GREATLY reduce my anxiety. When Your am feeling down and shaky go out and exercise, I'm not a tri-athlete or gym rat or anything - I just go walk some hills quickly or ride my bike or go swimming and I feel more calm instantly.

And remember nothing changes if nothing changes, go for it TS.

KeefF

realies wrote: »

I suppose what I want to know has anyone else experienced anything like me? I can't put my head on my pillow without my every day worries flying around in my head. As an aside, last night was my first night in months having a drink free night. I didn't sleep a wink, but I did it

Any advice or support would be great guys, thanks in advance.

Here are a few tips to help you troubled soul ,Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Wow – this seems so simple. I have changed my focus from “I can’t have alcohol” to “I get to live my life with a clear head and no regret.” This helps most when I have the inkling of deprivation – I turn it around immediately to focus on what I am gaining by getting alcohol out of my life – not what I am supposedly “losing.

Work to become and stay sober. This is fact. You can’t hope or pray or wish to be sober, you have to actively work to be sober. That doesn’t mean it has to be your focus all day and night, but it means creating a plan and sticking to it. For me, this also means telling people out loud or in writing what my plan is. I have proven fairly good at lying to myself over the years, but not very good at lying to others. This did meant, for me individual counseling. And a daily plan, written somewhere to stay sober.

Understand one day at a time and the serenity prayer. I am not a religious person, but these words speak to me: “…grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to tell the difference.” When Starting of I focused on the first part of that saying, but I have come to realize the importance of the second part, too. As a perfectionist I needed to learn to accept what I can’t change, but waking up from denial has made me realize that I also need to work on changing the things I CAN change. One day at a time was a revelation. Although I have heard it MANY times, I finally realize the power in that statement. I don’t have to worry about the camping trip next summer without AL – I just have to make it through today sober.

Exercise is key. Exercise is a natural way to release those endorphins that enhance my mood and GREATLY reduce my anxiety. When Your am feeling down and shaky go out and exercise, I'm not a tri-athlete or gym rat or anything - I just go walk some hills quickly or ride my bike or go swimming and I feel more calm instantly.

And remember nothing changes if nothing changes, go for it TS.[/QUOTE]

This is really helpful post - thanks.
Acceptance & Gratitude are key for me - trick is to ensure I practice them daily.

mick112

The fact that you are trying a lot of things to MAKE you sleep,it seems that these are acting like stimulants that keep you awake,and,this will increase your stress levels and lead to anxiety and make your mind race with negative thoughts ,thus,leading to sleep loss.Try writing down all that is on your mind in a notebook before you go to bed,then,close the book and leave your thoughts there and realise there is nothing you can do about them at bedtime and tomorrow is another day.The next day read what you wrote and deal with those that you can, and put a line through those that you cant.As each day passes you will find the list getting smaller and your mind getting clearer.