I met a girl... please advise!

Piriz

Hi OP, I was one of the first to post advice here, I think you should give us an update on what you did?

if you did send a Facebook message and didn't receive a reply it may take a while as not everyone checks their Facebook..I know this as i found a wallet and found the owner on FB...sent him a message and got no reply... (i left it to his work place in the end).

FollatonWood

Czarcasm wrote: »

Some people are on social media for professional reasons, not because they want to be, and while our standards may differ, I think it IS disrespectful to go googling somebody to tell them you would like to see them again. I certainly wouldn't welcome it, and by your logic - if this girl couldn't find the OP, he must have his details private, so why would he not respect her right to privacy?

If she was interested, she should've made her interest known when the opportunity arose, same as the OP, or do people not learn from their mistakes any more because now they can google people and get a second bite of the cherry?

Let it go OP would be my advice, and learn for the next time you're talking to a girl you find attractive, rather than getting stuck on the one that got away.

You wouldn't welcome it, cool. But you don't know if she would or not

Also, if she wants her details private she should make them private.

retro:electro

Czarcasm wrote: »

Some people are on social media for professional reasons, not because they want to be, and while our standards may differ, I think it IS disrespectful to go googling somebody to tell them you would like to see them again. I certainly wouldn't welcome it, and by your logic - if this girl couldn't find the OP, he must have his details private, so why would he not respect her right to privacy?

If she was interested, she should've made her interest known when the opportunity arose, same as the OP, or do people not learn from their mistakes any more because now they can google people and get a second bite of the cherry?

Let it go OP would be my advice, and learn for the next time you're talking to a girl you find attractive, rather than getting stuck on the one that got away.

Totally agree with this. We live in an age where saying "nice talking to you, I'll look for you on Facebook", is completely normal. The fact she didn't volunteer her name suggests to me that this was nothing more to her than pleasant conversation with a nice stranger.
Either way I hope he finds someone nice as a result of his improved confidence.

Czarcasm

FollatonWood wrote: »

You wouldn't welcome it, cool. But you don't know if she would or not

Also, if she wants her details private she should make them private.

I don't particularly care what she would or wouldn't welcome, I'm only thinking about this in the respect of advising the OP not to start going down that route or...

Well, so this particular girl says no, what about the next girl he meets, or the one after that, or the one after that again?

Google them all and hope for the best?

That's going to take that new found confidence away again, when the OP should be learning from it and building on it, and forming real relationships in the real world, not googling people he has chance encounters with who didn't show any interest in allowing him into that part of their lives.

FollatonWood

Czarcasm wrote: »

I don't particularly care what she would or wouldn't welcome, I'm only thinking about this in the respect of advising the OP not to start going down that route or...

Well, so this particular girl says no, what about the next girl he meets, or the one after that, or the one after that again?

Google them all and hope for the best?

That's going to take that new found confidence away again, when the OP should be learning from it and building on it, and forming real relationships in the real world, not googling people he has chance encounters with who didn't show any interest in allowing him into that part of their lives.

And if she says yes?

Tokyo

If only we had another forum where we could debate the merits of asking/not asking out a girl that one has tracked down online.....

macplato

mike_ie wrote: »

If only we had another forum where we could debate the merits of asking/not asking out a girl that one has tracked down online.....

Start a thread in AH, maybe? I think we could potentially have a very interesting and entertaining debate!

Czarcasm

FollatonWood wrote: »

And if she says yes?

I think you're missing the point Follaton. My point is that the OP shouldn't have gone googling in the first place. It's like inviting yourself into someone's house "just because it's there, and if they didn't want to invite me in they should move". A person shouldn't have to say "No, go away!".

What the OP is being advised to do here by some posters is impose themselves upon someone. It's rude and disrespectful and just because a person doesn't say "Don't go googling me!", that doesn't mean that you should see it as your right to go looking them up and getting in contact with them when they have not invited you to get in contact with them.

Okay OP i think you get the gist of the advice, this is turning into a discussion. Please PM a mod if you need this reopened
thanks

LegacyUser

Well folks....

Thanks for you feedback and advice. Everything you said whether it was encouraging me to message her or if you were advising against it were the same things that I was thinking.
I had considered that it might come across as a bit creepy, I considered that she might already be spoken for, That I prob just had simply met a very polite girl and was encouraged by that. All these things went through my head.

But at the same time, I knew that I really enjoyed her company and reckoned she enjoyed mine... we had made each other laugh! It was a nice experience!

So, I went for it!!!

I sent her a message on FB on Friday night... and she replied! And said she would like to meet up some time!!!

So... to all who advised against me sending her a message.... "I got her number! How do you like them Apples?"! Only messing, appreciated all feedback! Didn't get her number either. Just texting via fb for the moment!

The flower thing was an interesting idea, but it's not me!

Thanks again folks!