Elderly Parents

inhiscups

My Ma and Da have become elderly and infirm. My Da had a recent long stay in Hospital where after an acute illness he was unable to regain his mobility. The Hospital were happy to continue his care. However my Ma decided that she wanted to bring Da home despite his limitations and the relatively low level of care available at home for him.
Da is home just 3 days now and has fallen on four occasions (without hurting himself yet!) and has had problems using the loo and moving about his home. The atmosphere at home is tense and difficult and relations between Ma and Da are now poor.
I feel we should find a care home for Da but Ma will hear none of it. My 3 siblings and I are like an audience watching this unbearable disaster unfold and feel Da is going through very difficult times.
At what point can we impose our opinion and get the care Da needs to make his existence bearable? My Ma is a very determined and willful person who is unable to look after Da despite the carers who attend morning and evening and a helper who lives 24/7 in their home.

Frito

Just wondering what your father's view on residential care is.
You've spoken briefly about the care package but it's always worth checking that the local services have adequately assessed your father's care needs and are offering the maximum support they can. Perhaps your mother needs more support as a carer (ie time out if she's agreeable).

In terms of imposing your opinion, the person whose opinion counts the most is your father, and legally he can make his own decisions unless he lacks capacity to make decisions.

A quick thought (and it may not be suitable for your father's circumstances) but would day care be helpful?