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12 year old and over age games by Social Worker

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    #32
    KwackerJack
    Registered Users Posts: 2,126 ✭✭✭KwackerJack


    bobmalooka wrote: »
    She's completely right, a parent/guardian moving out in essentially a hissy fit will have a devastating effect on all 3 children.

    I'm sure you already know the answer to your question is no, a child with 'issues' needs stability and for the parents to tailor their parenting to this child's needs. I'd be amazed if this hasn't been explained to you but it's clear you've decided it's your way or the highway.

    Unfortunately neither will work

    I'm moving out over a hissy fit?? Are you the SW's boss??

    My partner is not stepping up at all to support me so do you suggest I just stay and pray to god every night for a miracle?

    And remember this is going on 2 years, I think I have tried my best and can be full sure that moving out fighting for my son has become my only option.


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    #33
    HeidiHeidi
    Registered Users Posts: 29,372 ✭✭✭✭HeidiHeidi


    KwackerJack wrote: »
    I take my own son and I would be charged with kidnapping/abduction and god knows what else. All I can do is talk to my solicitor and see what I can do legally.

    I'm sorry for your situation, OP, it sounds horrendous - and I'm afraid I have no constructive advice to add but you sound like you're doing your absolute best in the circumstances - but (and it's a genuine question here) - how can this be the case? You can't bring your own son with you when you decide your only option is to leave? How can that be :confused:


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    #34
    KwackerJack
    Registered Users Posts: 2,126 ✭✭✭KwackerJack


    HeidiHeidi wrote: »
    I'm sorry for your situation, OP, it sounds horrendous - and I'm afraid I have no constructive advice to add but you sound like you're doing your absolute best in the circumstances - but (and it's a genuine question here) - how can this be the case? You can't bring your own son with you when you decide your only option is to leave? How can that be :confused:

    Are you Irish? Reason I ask is that if you are you should know that fathers have practically no rights to their own children unless the go to court!!

    My partner could be a drug user ect yet I would still need to go to court to get custody of my own son.

    Yet we are a Catholic country that embraces family ect but if you are a father all you are is a splash of ink on a piece of paper. I may as well not be on the birthcert!


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    #35
    SpaceTime
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,088 ✭✭✭SpaceTime


    KwackerJack wrote: »
    Are you Irish? Reason I ask is that if you are you should know that fathers have practically no rights to their own children unless the go to court!!

    My partner could be a drug user ect yet I would still need to go to court to get custody of my own son.

    Yet we are a Catholic country that embraces family ect but if you are a father all you are is a splash of ink on a piece of paper. I may as well not be on the birthcert!

    Actually, that's little to do with catholic stuff. 'Catholic countries' would tend towards the other extreme and be very patriarchal.

    Neither extreme is good. There needs to be a balance.

    The situation in Ireland is similar to the UK where fathers' rights groups ended up in pretty serious protests etc

    There are changes afoot though and going to court isn't necessarily a bad option. It's Family Court so, basically they'll aim to act in the best interests of the kid and its not a big scary public court case. Its carried out sensitively and in private.

    The biggest issue is that court orders are ignored a lot and there are very few options that a judge can exercise to enforce them. Like jailing a parent for contempt of court is a bit impractical and extreme.

    So unfortunately, they're flouted by some.

    In most countries however, custody tends to default to the mother.

    Ireland's particularly bad at joint custody and shared parenting arrangements though.

    The system is also very poorly resourced and coming under increasing pressure due to lack of money.

    I know of at least guy though who ended up with full custody though. However, it was a fairly extreme situation. In your case the mum seems quite normal. You just appear not to get on.

    My only advice is that both parents should be reasonable and think of the kids first. Its really bad when it becomes a tit for tat custody battle.


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    #36
    sopretty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,009 ✭✭✭sopretty


    Has it been suggested to you to engage in anger management or a parenting course?

    How do you discipline the oldest child?


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    #37
    Vito Corleone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,753 ✭✭✭Vito Corleone


    http://www.rochester.edu/newscenter/frustration-in-mastering-video-games-linked-to-aggression/


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