7.5 yr old, unresponsive to direct questions?

Bernice101

Any tips ongetting a 7yr old who doesn’t respond to direct questions to open up and talk to me? It’s a child who doesn’t know me, is very shy, and its in aformalish healthcare environment which is unfamiliar to her, her dad will be in the room. Are there any specific toys, or better still,strategies? I don’t have much experiencewith children and its for a course im doing.

Any tipsmuch appreciated.
And yes, I know it must be daunting for the poor child

Lola92

Have a variety of play materials on a table in the room, easily accessible by the child. Things like paper, markers and colouring pencils allow the child to take a break and make the situation a bit less intense by allowing her to focus on her play and talk at the same time, without having to make eye contact which can be quite intimidating with a stranger to a young child.

Sit at her level, ask her about what she is drawing/playing with, comment on it. Let her settle in the room for 5-10 minutes, if possible, before you question her.

Sleepy

Lego.

Sit down at her level and begin building something. She'll ask what you're building within 5 minutes (or if she doesn't, you can open the conversation by asking her what she's building).

Balmed Out

everyone likes a compliment

LadyMayBelle

Bernice101 wrote: »

Any tips ongetting a 7yr old who doesn’t respond to direct questions to open up and talk to me? It’s a child who doesn’t know me, is very shy, and its in aformalish healthcare environment which is unfamiliar to her, her dad will be in the room. Are there any specific toys, or better still,strategies? I don’t have much experiencewith children and its for a course im doing.

Any tipsmuch appreciated.
And yes, I know it must be daunting for the poor child

Firstly, what is your role here OP? That would give me an idea of how to answer this.

Direct questioning can be quite intense for anyone let alone a 7 year old! Children communicate by play, so questions can be scary. I'd be careful describing her as 'unresponsive' to direct questions as she may be indicating via eye contact/body language, verbals noise, note what she isnt saying.

Plus building up a relationship with a child takes TIME.

Let her take the lead. sit on the floor, on her level and perhaps have a bag of goodies that you think she might like (my bag of tricks has a tea set, some little soft toys, snap cards, a bouncy ball, crayons and paper, playdoh and some tools, those little pots of goo that make a funny noise when you put your fingers in them (kids and adults alike love a funny farty noise!!) and other bits and bobs to make craft stuff). Let her explore the bag with you, and if allowed, invite dad to sit on the floor too and join in, encouragingly. Let her lead you and she will gradually open you and copy what you are doing, if it's building lego sets or making something.

What's your course OP? My advice would be too look at what youve learned and discuss with yoru supervisor the difficulties youre facing.

Big Bag of Chips

Hi Bernice, I think this is your second post on how to get kids to open up to you. Maybe you would be better seeking advice from your course tutor, mentor, other counsellors who work where you are doing your placement, classmates etc. Also if a child is very shy, like you mentioned in your post a few weeks ago, then it could take months for them to relax enough in your company to speak to you.

I don't know in what context you are meeting this child. If she has behaviour issues, suspected abuse, delayed speech, gross motor problems etc.

Playing with kids is easy if you allow yourself to go back to being a child yourself. You should be aiming to find out what you need to know through play rather than asking direct questions. Or at least be building a rapport whereby you are "chatting" rather than interviewing her. And all the time watching for other visual signs that the child is comfortable/uncomfortable, as already suggested. I think that is where you need the expertise of your tutors and colleagues to help you. They've been through it all before, and would have dealt with a range a children and can advise what might work for the particular child you are working with. You are a student, you are not expected to know everything. You would be expected to ask questions and look for advice. People working for years would still speak to colleagues regularly to ask their opinion or advice on a particular situation.