locating someone

zetalambda

lifeandtimes wrote: »

hey everyone

Want your opinions

Just stumbled across an add for a woman looking to locate the dad of her child.

Hes from Ireland and shes from the us

Says the spent 3 months together in Australia,she got pregnant and he bailed...that was 5 years ago.

Shes built up a bit of an online presence and im just wondering would you guys help by making it go viral or would you just pass it by and say its none of your business? My heart breaks for her and her son but im not sure if its my place to do anything

any opinions will help

Sounds to me like the child is at an age where he/she may be asking who it's daddy is or where it's daddy is.
Or maybe she's after realizing how expensive and what hard work it is raising a child on your own.

Electric Sheep

Muise... wrote: »

we don't know what the right thing is for him.

I don't care what the right thing is for him, I care what the right thing is for the child.

It's amazing how cavalier is the attitude toward child support in Ireland. So many people seem to think it is fine to bail on it and have the state or the mother alone support the child. Not sure if it comes from being brought up in a welfare state or just from a complete lack of personal responsibility.

Child support is owed to the child. Not to the custodial parent, to the child.

Electric Sheep

Muise... wrote: »

The child is 4 or 5 years old. I wonder what has happened that s/he suddenly needs a father/money? And I wonder if the child will benefit from seeing the mother's public search for the unwilling father on record in years to come?

I am sure the child will benefit from the knowledge that her mother at least tried to make the father man up.

maguic24

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I am not sure if a parent living in the US can enforce child support on a non-custodial parent who lives in Ireland.

However, I hope she can. Men who bail on supporting their own children are scum.

Answer: They can.

I live in Ireland, dad in US. He had to start paying maintenance when I was 17 for college etc. They take family law in the US very seriously. It used to be different years ago but not anymore.

Muise...

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I am sure the child will benefit from the knowledge that her mother at least tried to make the father man up.

That's where we won't agree - I think the child would be better off knowing that its mother was dignified enough not to beg for scraps.

Electric Sheep

maguic24 wrote: »

Answer: They can.

I live in Ireland, dad in US. He had to start paying maintenance when I was 17 for college etc. They take family law in the US very seriously. It used to be different years ago but not anymore.

Oh, I know they do here in the US. It's in Ireland that I doubt it would be enforced. If you were in the US and your Dad was in Ireland, I doubt he would have had to pay a penny.

Electric Sheep

Muise... wrote: »

That's where we won't agree - I think the child would be better off knowing that its mother was dignified enough not to beg for scraps.

The child would certainly be better off if her father had enough dignity to support it, but will certainly respect her mother for looking after it's interests. Child support is not, and should not be, scraps. Men who think of it as such really should not be called men.

clairefontaine

maguic24 wrote: »

Answer: They can.

I live in Ireland, dad in US. He had to start paying maintenance when I was 17 for college etc. They take family law in the US very seriously. It used to be different years ago but not anymore.

Different story if the countries were reversed.

maguic24

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Oh, I know they do here in the US. It's in Ireland that I doubt it would be enforced. If you were in the US and your Dad was in Ireland, I doubt he would have had to pay a penny.

Really? That's so odd. Yeah, they really enforce it in America. If you don't pay maintenance, they have absolutely no sympathy for you at all. You're gonna get absolutely butt-****ed.

The justice system is sooo bad in this country, so I don't really know why I'd be all that surprised if they didn't enforce it here. :-/

clairefontaine

Muise... wrote: »

That's where we won't agree - I think the child would be better off knowing that its mother was dignified enough not to beg for scraps.

Americans don't look at it that way. The money is the child's. You don't pursue it, you are stealing from your kids. It's their entitlement, not a begging bowl.

maguic24

In response to the OP's question, I, personally, would stay out of it.

maguic24

clairefontaine wrote: »

Americans don't look at it that way. The money is the child's. You don't pursue it, you are stealing from your kids. It's their entitlement, not a begging bowl.

That's exactly the way they look at it! They have zero tolerance for maintenance dodgers.

clairefontaine

maguic24 wrote: »

Really? That's so odd. Yeah, they really enforce it in America. If you don't pay maintenance, they have absolutely no sympathy for you at all. You're gonna get absolutely butt-****ed.

The justice system is sooo bad in this country, so I don't really know why I'd be all that surprised if they didn't enforce it here. :-/

Americans enforce everything as a general rule. Ireland is far more casual, to the extent I wouldn't have confidence the courts even keep the records.

PucaMama

Do people not realise if he made a child he has to support it?!

Electric Sheep

PucaMama wrote: »

Do people not realise if he made a child he has to support it?!

Not in Ireland. They think the taxpayer has to support it, can't have child support cutting into the beer/fags money.

clairefontaine

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Not in Ireland. They think the taxpayer has to support it, can't have child support cutting into the beer/fags money.

YEs I agree. The social welfare system encourages/enables it.

Muise...

PucaMama wrote: »

Do people not realise if he made a child he has to support it?!

He and the woman who is now chasing him made a zygote. During the 3 months of their relationship, long before the 'child' phase of proceedings.

Electric Sheep

Muise... wrote: »

He and the woman who is now chasing him made a zygote. We don't know when he left, but I'm guessing it was before the 'child' stage of proceedings.

Oh I bet he did. I bet he legged it to Ireland so fast his shoe soles were burning. Run fast to the country where people have no personal responsibility! Go back to Erin's Shore and sit on your hole on the dole. Anything but act like a man.

Muise...

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Oh I bet he did. I bet he legged it to Ireland so fast his shoe soles were burning. Run fast to the country where people have no personal responsibility! Go back to Erin's Shore and sit on your hole on the dole. Anything but act like a man.

I edited my post to reflect the info in the OP.

The reason I'm not as bothered by you at his actions is that if I got pregnant by accident and was told by the man who got me pregnant and a mob he whipped up online that I had to woman up and face my responsibilities, I would not be long heading for the airport, sticking two fcuk-you fingers up at the outrage. Ironically, lots of women on "Erin's Shore" have had to put up with this sort of crap.

LoganRice

Good luck in your search

Electric Sheep

Muise... wrote: »

I edited my post to reflect the info in the OP.

The reason I'm not as bothered by you at his actions is that if I got pregnant by accident and was told by the man who got me pregnant and a mob he whipped up online that I had to woman up and face my responsibilities, I would not be long heading for the airport, sticking two fcuk-you fingers up at the outrage. Ironically, lots of women on "Erin's Shore" have had to put up with this sort of crap.

Well you'd be heading to the airport to leave Ireland, not to return to it. Only men get to get away with bailing out in Ireland.

Muise...

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Well you'd be heading to the airport to leave Ireland, not to return to it. Only men get to get away with bailing out in Ireland.

I should be able to bail out here. No one should be forced into parenthood. Anywhere.

Feisar

Muise... wrote: »

I should be able to bail out here. No one should be forced into parenthood. Anywhere.

I don't understand. If you have the secs you might make da baby. Em so we can all run around making babies and toss them to the state to look after?

MonaPizza

roadsmart wrote: »

Regardless of anything else, the child has a right to know who his/her father is.

Really? On what grounds?

KateFitzgerald

My name is Catherine Fitzgerald
I am the one who made the pof account yesterday

I'm the woman who you lot is talking about
first of all
get facts straight
I was with the lad for two years before anything
I had my son back 08
I went to stay with [MOD SNIP] in Perth Australia for three months and then he came to the states to see his five month old at the time and one morning i woke up and he was gone. Yes i have pictures of him. I posted a picture of me and him together on POF
I also have a video of me and [MOD SNIP]in the Perth Australia Museum that is on my facebook page.

I dont know why you lot are so judgemental i never asked for any ones help
i dont want child support and I am not a stupid naive American girl. I am just wanting this bloke to man up on his responsibility as a FATHER if any one could understand that. I am sure you all can.. Let alone keep my knickers on
well heres something for ya
I am not a slut i dont go ****ing tom dick and harry I am a good girl I dont care to fool around like most people in this world.
My son is not a mistake nor a regret so how dare you for starters.

Red Kev

^ Hi Catherine

Just that you know there are a lot of us on boards.ie who support what you are doing. We don't look on you in a negative way at all, and we think that your ex should make some form of contribution to your childs upbringing.

Take Care and best of luck with it.

KateFitzgerald

Btw that is correct, there is two sides of every story. I wouldn't sit here and make this **** up nor waist my time looking for my son's father. I loved [MOD SNIP]and I still do. I just wish he could grow up

KateFitzgerald

Thank you RED KEV
I appreciate that very much

ringadingding

KateFitzgerald wrote: »

My name is Catherine Fitzgerald
I am the one who made the pof account yesterday

I'm the woman who you lot is talking about
first of all
get facts straight
I was with the lad for two years before anything
I had my son back 08
I went to stay with [MOD SNIP] in Perth Australia for three months and then he came to the states to see his five month old at the time and one morning i woke up and he was gone. Yes i have pictures of him. I posted a picture of me and him together on POF
I also have a video of me and [MOD SNIP]in the Perth Australia Museum that is on my facebook page.

I dont know why you lot are so judgemental i never asked for any ones help
i dont want child support and I am not a stupid naive American girl. I am just wanting this bloke to man up on his responsibility as a FATHER if any one could understand that. I am sure you all can.. Let alone keep my knickers on
well heres something for ya
I am not a slut i dont go ****ing tom dick and harry I am a good girl I dont care to fool around like most people in this world.
My son is not a mistake nor a regret so how dare you for starters.

Best of luck, hope the young feller gets some kind of father figure from his dad.
Oh, if you do find him, get the child support, nobody would think less of you.

KateFitzgerald

Thanks but i dont know how that child support system works if I am from America and his father is from Tipperary, Ireland

Muise...

It's a long way to Tipperary.

KateFitzgerald

Yes it is
an Tipperary is not a small place either..

weldoninhio

KateFitzgerald wrote: »

My name is Catherine Fitzgerald
I am the one who made the pof account yesterday

I'm the woman who you lot is talking about
first of all
get facts straight
I was with the lad for two years before anything
I had my son back 08
I went to stay with [MOD SNIP] in Perth Australia for three months and then he came to the states to see his five month old at the time and one morning i woke up and he was gone. Yes i have pictures of him. I posted a picture of me and him together on POF
I also have a video of me and [MOD SNIP] in the Perth Australia Museum that is on my facebook page.

I dont know why you lot are so judgemental i never asked for any ones help
i dont want child support and I am not a stupid naive American girl. I am just if any one could understand that. I am sure you all can.. Let alone keep my knickers on
well heres something for ya
I am not a slut i dont go ****ing tom dick and harry I am a good girl I dont care to fool around like most people in this world.
My son is not a mistake nor a regwanting this bloke to man up on his responsibility as a FATHERret so how dare you for starters.

Couple of things, if your not looking for money, why the big chase to find him?? and the second point also deals with this, he knows he has a child, and he ran, why would you even want someone like that associated with your child??

If you are living in USA and he is in Ireland what responsibilities would you expect him to have except $$$$$$??

WellThen?

KateFitzgerald wrote: »

My name is Catherine Fitzgerald
I am the one who made the pof account yesterday

I'm the woman who you lot is talking about
first of all
get facts straight
I was with the lad for two years before anything
I had my son back 08
I went to stay with [MOD SNIP] in Perth Australia for three months and then he came to the states to see his five month old at the time and one morning i woke up and he was gone. Yes i have pictures of him. I posted a picture of me and him together on POF
I also have a video of me and [MOD SNIP]in the Perth Australia Museum that is on my facebook page.

I dont know why you lot are so judgemental i never asked for any ones help
i dont want child support and I am not a stupid naive American girl. I am just wanting this bloke to man up on his responsibility as a FATHER if any one could understand that. I am sure you all can.. Let alone keep my knickers on
well heres something for ya
I am not a slut i dont go ****ing tom dick and harry I am a good girl I dont care to fool around like most people in this world.
My son is not a mistake nor a regret so how dare you for starters.

It sounds like he wanted to leave, Why are you posting all over the net. We are only talking about you because somebody posted it here. And putting it on POF is a weird way to locate him. Anyway....I would say best of luck finding him but I can't see what good finding somebody that doesn't want to be found will do. Sounds like your child is better off without him.

KateFitzgerald

Because my 5 year old has the right to see his father. I don't want money from him. I still love him and never gave up on him. I been searching five years since he walked out of my life and if he doesnt want to be found that's on him but i promised me boy he will see his father. It doesn't matter if it's for one day I want my son to see and know his father...
Yeah this is crazy but you know it's also my life and I choose to look for a man who did nothing but run away.. Maybe afraid of commitment I don't know. I do want to know why and I want to know why he isn't here...
I know [MOD SNIP]two years and I still love him to death. He was my first boyfriend and I just can't seem to stop looking for him until he tells me himself he doesnt want me to look for him.. Until then I am going to do what's best for me and me boy...

cassid

I am getting old, I had to look up what POF was !!

KateFitzgerald

And to post on just about anything is good enough..

Gran Hermano

Suddenly AH becomes TV3.
Do we get to hear the results of the paternity tests and lie detector?
Did she catch him in bed with her sister or best friend?

stefan idiot jones

Feisar wrote: »

So there's a tiler around Clonmel that can't be found???

Obviously she hasn't tried too hard.

So there's a tiler in Ireland that's not Polish?

Well I never!!!!!!!

KateFitzgerald

You are rude

stefan idiot jones

KateFitzgerald wrote: »

You are rude

Me?

KateFitzgerald

no not you Stefan

KateFitzgerald

Gran is rude.

mikewest

Post in the Region->Midwest->Tipperary forum above. Clonmel may be the4 largest inland town in Ireland but its still only around 10,000 people and that name is uncommon. Also due to a couple of global engineering companies based in that town searches like yours are not unknown in Clonmel:rolleyes:

Best of luck.

Edit.

stefan idiot jones

I do wish you luck, but AH?

AH, for fcuks sake.

I know it was another OP, but AH?

For your own sanity and dignity just bow out of here.

Gran Hermano

This is an unverified person on a witch hunt.
We don't have any evidence what is true.
It could be an ex with a grudge or an old landlord chasing rent for all we know.

People need to stop and think before shouting 'burn the witch'

weldoninhio

KateFitzgerald wrote: »

Because my 5 year old has the right to see his father. I don't want money from him. I still love him and never gave up on him. I been searching five years since he walked out of my life and if he doesnt want to be found that's on him but i promised me boy he will see his father. It doesn't matter if it's for one day I want my son to see and know his father...
Yeah this is crazy but you know it's also my life and I choose to look for a man who did nothing but run away.. Maybe afraid of commitment I don't know. I do want to know why and I want to know why he isn't here...
I know [MOD SNIP]two years and I still love him to death. He was my first boyfriend and I just can't seem to stop looking for him until he tells me himself he doesnt want me to look for him.. Until then I am going to do what's best for me and me boy...

Yeah, its all for the kid. :rolleyes:

Muise...

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

I do wish you luck, but AH?

AH, for fcuks sake.

I know it was another OP, but AH?

For your own sanity and dignity just bow out of here.

Whisht!

There could be a few more twists and cliffhangers before the mods cop that people have been named on this thread...

KateFitzgerald

Thank you guys who support me on this... If you lot walked a mile in my shoe and was dealing with this i would support you 100 percent. I am a good Christian/Catholic woman. I don't like to judge for that is not for me to judge any one. But for people who judge others and post negative stuff obviously you have a lot of negative stuff about your self that you just like to cause drama to make your day a whole let better.

For some one to make a journey is on them as if you were to ruin that journey karma comes back and bites you in the ass twenty times hard.


To walk down a lonely river, to stroll alone side the wave to look for something that is missing. Do not give up, do not run from it but move forward and stay positive. Positivity is the key to happiness. You do not lead yourself in temptation you lead yourself forward as you get closer to the kingdom. For we shall not judge for we shall be brave and work together as one.
Do you hate
or do you love
cause i know my passion, my wants, my needs, my desire, my life and my future and i know my past..

FFS There's loads of Catherine Fizgeralds on FB !