Things I don't get about Irish weddings MOD WARNING POST #322

username123

hoodwinked wrote: »

let them have my numbers,

Unfortunately those numbers affect social policy in this country and as long as we have people who dont believe but go along with it for whatever reason (to please others, for tradition, to have nice pics in a church, for an easier life etc..) - as long as this goes on, its harder to get religion out of schools, its harder to to separate church and state etc... Thats the bigger picture.

amdublin

PCros wrote: »

Ok so it seems the atheist brigade have latched onto this thread which started off as light hearted banter and will now ultimately be closed as the last few pages has turned in to a religion debate.

If Kontrapasa wanted her husband to be happy, and she was happy about that, then leave it be!

I don't think so. A few pages back people had latched on to my comments that no one likes to be hungry between the church and the dinner.

It is the same posters as far as I can see from the very start so no "atheists" latching on The thread is just ebbing and flowing the way threads do.

So! Fascinators! Hands up who honestly thought their mammy looked stunning with a mad confabulation of feather on top of their head Or who honestly think they are seriously silly looking :pac:

hoodwinked

Thumby wrote: »

I am not dismissing my oh views or beliefs. If he was attending church on a regualar basis or was more than just paying lip service to the way he was brought up then it would be a different story. Like you we would manage to find something that works for both of us. None of our family memebers are particuluarly religious they just identify themselves as catholic and those who pay more than just lip service to the occasional mass (midnight mass at xmas, easter mass etc) don't expect us to get married in a church. It's just not important to them. They just want us to be happy and want to be to see us get married and celebrate with us.
The only reason my mother wants us to get married in a church is so that she can show off and say oh well my daughter had this that and the other etc etc etc.
Forget keeping up with the Joneses for my mother it's all about outdoing them.

well you see context is everything , we are obviously in a different situation to you guys my husband doesn't just identify as catholic, he is catholic. and thats why i pointed out that you can be non-religious but still get married in a church without compromising agnostic views.

Thumby wrote: »

I will admit I have had all of my kids christened, (i didn't make and promises or say any vows however,) and the older ones have made their communions and one confirmation so far. However i don't feel I am being hyprocritcal in this as I made up my own mind when i was older and my kids will do the same. It's a good thing, i think, they have something to believe in and learn the value of faith. They can make up their own mind when they are older. I know i'm gonna land myself in a pile of trouble with this,but it's like letting them believe in Santa. ( I don't mean that in a dismissive way or beratement of anyones beliefs, just that it's something they should decide for themselves when older and also i don't want them being left out in school etc and missing major milestones of a young childs life.

but if that is how you think, that is not wrong, my point is there is enough trouble in the world, if thats what you decided you should stand by your reasons, i do (it gets me in the height of trouble)

username123

Heres one I hate about weddings. I cant wear heels. I had knee surgeries, joint issues etc... I just cant do it. So what do I wear with a formal dress for a wedding that doesnt look like something a woman in her sixties would wear!!

hoodwinked

amdublin wrote: »

So! Fascinators! Hands up who honestly thought their mammy looked stunning with a mad confabulation of feather on top of their head Or who honestly think they are seriously silly looking :pac:

My mammy didn't wear anything in her hair, just got it all done up, she was too young for the dowdy look!

username123 wrote: »

Heres one I hate about weddings. I cant wear heels. I had knee surgeries, joint issues etc... I just cant do it. So what do I wear with a formal dress for a wedding that doesnt look like something a woman in her sixties would wear!!

there are some lovely flats available these days, plus you can keep your shoes on all night where others won't! i don't get the whole shoeless look! JUST BRING FLATS!

ronjo

Thumby wrote: »

@Hoodwinked,

I think it's absolutely fantastic that you and your husband were able to come up a compromise like that and it does sound genuienly lovely. However as i've stated my oh is most def not like your hubby and there's probably more religious belief in an inanimate object than in my oh, and i just won't bow down to my mother and her vanity and be out of pockets because she wants and i'm quoting "the day she never got" when she married my dad. Looking back at the pix of their wedding it was absolutely lavish compared to most back then and she still wasn't happy. That's the only reason she wants us to get married in a church. She's the only one. My dad will still get to walk me down the aisle as he wants so he's not bothered by the venue ceremony.

Thats all totally fair enough.

Your initial statement of "i'm not Catholic and my oh is and he's been told in no uncertain terms that's he has a snowballs chance in hell of having a church wedding." seemed quite strong to me and I was just wondering why.

Thumby

amdublin wrote: »

I don't think so. A few pages back people had latched on to my comments that no one likes to be hungry between the church and the dinner.

It is the same posters as far as I can see from the very start so no "atheists" latching on The thread is just ebbing and flowing the way threads do.

So! Fascinators! Hands up who honestly thought their mammy looked stunning with a mad confabulation of feather on top of their head Or who honestly think they are seriously silly looking :pac:

Small dainty ones can be nice if they actually accentuate what the woman is wearing but oh my jebus some of those yokes are bigger than me :pac: not to mention look like something that crawled out of sigorney weavers stomach in alien.:D

Kontrapasa

hoodwinked wrote: »

really? it doesn't feel to me like i gave in? so isn't that what really counts here? i don't base my thoughts or feelings on what my guests think...

a civil ceremony would have been my husband losing out on the wedding he always wanted, thats not a compromise either, i was happy with our choice as was he so surely the compromise worked for us?, i couldn't be happy getting married if i knew he was only doing something for me. And any way im not even sure the honan in UCC is a catholic church (i think it may be non de-nom), but it is a beautiful venue to get married in.

and as for the christening thing, i was christened, i did my communion, and by my confirmation i knew i didn't believe and did it anyway. did it hurt me in any way? no,

when i decided to declare myself agnostic did the church hunt me down and beat me with sticks? no.

in fact what effect does me being a number to the church have on my life?....none!

i can't assume my daughter will feel the same as i do and i would never push her to, she can make her own mind up when she is ready to, we don't push her in either direction we are just giving her choices, its the same as activities, you don't know what they'll like so you sign them up to scouts, soccer/rugby or a martial art and then they keep doing it (or quit if they don't like it)

You did what you thought it was right to make sure your husband was happy and fair play to you, but in my view, you stood up there and "faked" it for his sake and everyone elses. To me it sounds like "sure but I crossed my fingers on my back everytime they mention God, so it doesn't really count..."

About you don't minding being a number more in the catholic church is not as simple as just being one number, but about the power that the church gets in this country and using those number the control they have over society. You allowed to put your name as catholic marriage and your baby's as catholic, bulking up the already big list of supposedly believers (while churchs are completely empty).

As a person with an Irish partner and hoping to create a family someday, it scares me the power that the church has in this country, specially when it comes to schools. I find it unenviable the amount of atheist parents that have to end up sending their children to catholic school because the state fails to provide a non religious education. Their children having to either listen "to fairy tales" or being put aside while others do religion; unbelievable that this happens in a first world country in 2014. I know this a another topic and another discussion, but just wanted to point out that this "fake-harmless" celebrations are not as harmless as they may seem. People should be able to see the consequences of having their "dream" church wedding further away than the beautiful fairy tale day with the beautiful church.

Thumby

ronjo wrote: »

Thats all totally fair enough.

Your initial statement of "i'm not Catholic and my oh is and he's been told in no uncertain terms that's he has a snowballs chance in hell of having a church wedding." seemed quite strong to me and I was just wondering why.

Sorry ronjo.
Blame my mother as she is trying to guilt him into guilting me into having one, after she realised it wasn't working directly once i told her we were getting married.
It's not working though, thankfully.

amdublin

Ps. I don't know if his whole thread/my op is light hearted banter only.


Some of it I am very serious about.
The church bit.
The gift/money bit - you have everything you need (house etc) and you have enough to pay for your wedding...why you want more?

PCros

amdublin wrote: »

I don't think so. A few pages back people had latched on to my comments that no one likes to be hungry between the church and the dinner.

It is the same posters as far as I can see from the very start so no "atheists" latching on The thread is just ebbing and flowing the way threads do.

No just the last few pages, maybe not atheists, atheist sentiment anyway.

Whole other forum for that.

username123

hoodwinked wrote: »

there are some lovely flats available these days, plus you can keep your shoes on all night where others won't! i don't get the whole shoeless look! JUST BRING FLATS!

I always find flats are great for summer weddings, nice fancy sandals - but winter weddings are not easy for my feet!! I usually go with a LOW heel court shoe thats not really that nice at all....

rainbow kirby

Thumby wrote: »

Small dainty ones can be nice if they actually accentuate what the woman is wearing but oh my jebus some of those yokes are bigger than me :pac: not to mention look like something that crawled out of sigorney weavers stomach in alien.:D

I have one of the small dainty ones, it gets brought out for fancy race days over the summer where I'm really going for it dress-wise. The bigger ones look a bit nuts!

Thumby

hoodwinked wrote: »

you should stand by your reasons, i do (it gets me in the height of trouble)

But sure isn't that half the fun?:pac:

And i would most definitely be more flexible on things regarding the church wedding if my oh was like your husband. At the end of the day it is about what makes the couple happy at the ceremony not any of the guests. Guests do need to be considered alright but not for the ceremony, as they are not directly involved in this part. It's purely the couple at that point.

I must say fair play to you though, I don't think you compromised your views, and you done what both of ye felt was the right thing for ye and the two of ye are very happy with it, and that's what matters.

amdublin

PCros wrote: »

No just the last few pages, maybe not atheists, atheist sentiment anyway.

Whole other forum for that.

Anyhoo just to confirm me personally, I'm not an atheist but I'm also not a hypocrite and (yes this is strong) I think it is hypocritical of b&g's having church weddings when it is god knows when since they saw the inside of a church.
I think it's a big load of mockery/fakeness and I really do not know why anyone bothers with it when it is not one bit important to them the rest of their lives (let's call a spade a spade).

However for those people who are genuinely into their faith a church wedding is beautiful.

PCros

amdublin wrote: »

Anyhoo just to confirm me personally, I'm not an atheist but I'm also not a hypocrite and (yes this is strong) I think it is hypocritical of b&g's having church weddings when it is god knows when since they saw the inside of a church.
I think it's a big load of mockery/fakeness and I really do not know why anyone bothers with it when it is not one bit important to them the rest of their lives (let's call a spade a spade).

However for those people who are genuinely into their faith a church wedding is beautiful.

Totally agree with both of your points here but I think you misconstrued what I was talking about, not the fakers as such, but just about that poster who wanted to make her husband happy and people were having a go at her.

Thumby

PCros wrote: »

No just the last few pages, maybe not atheists, atheist sentiment anyway.

Whole other forum for that.

I don't think anyone is trying to turn this thread into a religious debate, I know i'm certainly not, but in fairness it's a thread about what people don't get about Irish Weddings, getting married in church when one is not a devout Catholic (or any degree of Catholic) is bound to come into it, but like other topics in the thread, the starving guests etc it will be changed in a page or two to something else. There's no atheist brigade hijacking the thread or turning this into something its not. Church wedding and reasons for or against them were bound to come in this thread. It's not a big deal. It's just one point among many.

username123 wrote: »

I always find flats are great for summer weddings, nice fancy sandals - but winter weddings are not easy for my feet!! I usually go with a LOW heel court shoe thats not really that nice at all....

Last winter wedding I went to i was able to get a lovely pair of boots that had a really low heel and they went well with what I was wearing too. Which did actually happen to be a dress. They were a pair of ankle(ish) boots which i had bought in Pennys.

rainbow kirby wrote: »

I have one of the small dainty ones, it gets brought out for fancy race days over the summer where I'm really going for it dress-wise. The bigger ones look a bit nuts!

That's true enough, and the amount of money people spend on them is pure madness, when all it takes is about a score's worth of material and an hour of time to knock up one yourself. Which won't be osentatious or overbearing and will probably look a lot nicer.

Hmmm beginning to think I may put a "no fascinatiors" rule on the wedding invites

amdublin wrote: »

Anyhoo just to confirm me personally, I'm not an atheist but I'm also not a hypocrite and (yes this is strong) I think it is hypocritical of b&g's having church weddings when it is god knows when since they saw the inside of a church.
I think it's a big load of mockery/fakeness and I really do not know why anyone bothers with it when it is not one bit important to them the rest of their lives (let's call a spade a spade).

However for those people who are genuinely into their faith a church wedding is beautiful.

Exactly, if it's not something you're ever going to be bothered about as a couple again it's just hypocritical and silly. However if it's important to one of ye at least then it should be a negotiable to some extent. I really do think it depends on the people and their circumstances.
As hoodwinked said it's all about context.

PCros

Thumby wrote: »

I don't think anyone is trying to turn this thread into a religious debate, I know i'm certainly not, but in fairness it's a thread about what people don't get about Irish Weddings, getting married in church when one is not a devout Catholic (or any degree of Catholic) is bound to come into it, but like other topics in the thread, the starving guests etc it will be changed in a page or two to something else. There's no atheist brigade hijacking the thread

No if you read my last comment you will understand, basically what you said about the context from hoodwinked is what I meant.

Thumby

PCros wrote: »

No if you read my last comment you will understand, basically what you said about the context from hoodwinked is what I meant.

I hadn't seen your last comment when i was posting. Sorry, I get where you are coming from now though.

chuky_r_law

Thumby wrote: »

..... but the ungrateful and nit picking guest i have seen at more than one friends wedding as well. I just dont' get it. Why try and upset the bride and groom whom have worked themselves in a tizzy to have the day of their dreams and have the courtesy and generosity to invite you, and then just bitch about it?

i dont understand at all why people always go on about your wedding being the most amazing day of your life. you have too much to do on the day for it to be the day of your dreams! most weddings are way to formal, with nothing that makes them in any way unique or special. if it really is the day of 'dreams' how come everyone seems to plan the same feckin thing??

freshpopcorn

chuky_r_law wrote: »

i dont understand at all why people always go on about your wedding being the most amazing day of your life. you have too much to do on the day for it to be the day of your dreams! most weddings are way to formal, with nothing that makes them in any way unique or special. if it really is the day of 'dreams' how come everyone seems to plan the same feckin thing??

They have there own unique twist that is personal to the bride and groom.

username123

chuky_r_law wrote: »

i dont understand at all why people always go on about your wedding being the most amazing day of your life. you have too much to do on the day for it to be the day of your dreams! most weddings are way to formal, with nothing that makes them in any way unique or special. if it really is the day of 'dreams' how come everyone seems to plan the same feckin thing??

Ah you see, thats where doing what you want to make it the day of your dreams comes in.

My ceremony was outside in a game reserve in South Africa with hotel staff as witnesses. Our driver stood by with a rifle in case of any predators. A private safari drive afterwards where we sat amid a herd of elephants and visited a rhino and her baby and met a friendly giraffe.

Later we were escorted to our private bungalow where the floor, bed and bath were strewn with rose petals, candles were lit, the baboons were calling from the cliffside and we dined on roast kudu and other african delicacies.

Now that was the wedding day of a lifetime.

Thumby

chuky_r_law wrote: »

i dont understand at all why people always go on about your wedding being the most amazing day of your life. you have too much to do on the day for it to be the day of your dreams! most weddings are way to formal, with nothing that makes them in any way unique or special. if it really is the day of 'dreams' how come everyone seems to plan the same feckin thing??

Well for me it's the fact that my oh and I will finally be married, that's the dream bit. The rest is just bows and frills to celebrate it. We want our families and friends to celebrate it with us which is why we are having the hoopla part after the ceremony. If we didn't we'd just go get married and have two witnesses and let that be that. (Well if we could find a compromise on the registry office that would suit that type of arrangement) lol.

It may not be unique or special to most of the attendees however it is very special and unique to the b&g, it's their wedding and they are marrying each other. They aren't going to go to joe and joans wedding to get married. Therefore even if they had the exact same set up as joe and joan it's still different to each individual b&g. The trappings of a wedding may be similar across the board but the individuals getting married aren't, when they are the bride and groom.

amdublin

freshpopcorn wrote: »

They have there own unique twist that is personal to the bride and groom.

So small that it is unrecognisable in the midst of the exact same Irish wedding as everyone else :pac:

ronjo

amdublin wrote: »

So small that it is unrecognisable in the midst of the exact same Irish wedding as everyone else :pac:

I remember at one of my mates weddings the bride really didnt look like she was enjoying it. She spent so much of the evening in conversation with the hotel staff trying to get small things changed.
It was nuts.

username123

ronjo wrote: »

I remember at one of my mates weddings the bride really didnt look like she was enjoying it. She spent so much of the evening in conversation with the hotel staff trying to get small things changed.
It was nuts.

Yeah I went to one where the bride was going around with a printed sheet of A4 checking on things as the day went on.

freshpopcorn

amdublin wrote: »

So small that it is unrecognisable in the midst of the exact same Irish wedding as everyone else :pac:

Unrecognisable to you but not to them. You don't really seem to like much about Irish weddings at all.

Kontrapasa

chuky_r_law wrote: »

i dont understand at all why people always go on about your wedding being the most amazing day of your life. you have too much to do on the day for it to be the day of your dreams! most weddings are way to formal, with nothing that makes them in any way unique or special. if it really is the day of 'dreams' how come everyone seems to plan the same feckin thing??

Couldn't agree more. I think it all comes down about the cultural perception of what/how your wedding day is meant to be for an Irish person.

I think for the Irish, a wedding day it's your chance to "shine" and be treated as a VIP. It's your chance of being a princess for a day. As I pointed out in previous post, as foreigner a find Irish weddings scaled down royal wedding wannabes.

The fancy car (that you couldn't afford to buy even if you wanted to), the extremely expensive dress, the red carpet waiting for you with champagne, the speeches about how great you are (what else do you expect to hear from ppl that love you? :rolleyes:) the OTT decoration, your entourage of bridesmaids, groomsmen, page boy, flower girl... The OTT decorated cake that nobody gets to try, the read out of messages sent by the ppl could not make it, the top table, the priest saying grace. Sounds to me like a King's coronation day celebration...

For me a wedding day is not your chance to "shine" or pretend you're some VIP, your wedding day is the day you celebrate your love and you celebrate it with ppl that matter to you. You throw a party to celebrate it with them. People should make reasonable choices for ceremony/reception venues, stop spending money on bridesmaid, groomsmen, fancy car, red carpet, glass of bubbly,... and put that towards more food, more drink and more entertainment towards your guest. Then we have a proper celebration

Thumby

ronjo wrote: »

I remember at one of my mates weddings the bride really didnt look like she was enjoying it. She spent so much of the evening in conversation with the hotel staff trying to get small things changed.
It was nuts.

username123 wrote: »

Yeah I went to one where the bride was going around with a printed sheet of A4 checking on things as the day went on.

You are kidding me? That as far as i'm aware is the job of the wedding co-ordinator in the hotel and the maid of honor. At least that's what I done when my best mate got married a few years back. We all had the lists in our bags and the little bits and bobs and we (the bridesmaids) were the go between for the hotel and the bride. We weren't letting her stress out on the wedding day. (well anymore than a nervous bride will anyway)

freshpopcorn

Kontrapasa wrote: »

The OTT decorated cake that nobody gets to try,

You've being to a wedding and you got no cake? I've never experienced this.

ronjo

Thumby wrote: »

You are kidding me? That as far as i'm aware is the job of the wedding co-ordinator in the hotel and the maid of honor. At least that's what I done when my best mate got married a few years back. We all had the lists in our bags and the little bits and bobs and we (the bridesmaids) were the go between for the hotel and the bride. We weren't letting her stress out on the wedding day. (well anymore than a nervous bride will anyway)

It was her choice though. She was a bit of a control freak about it and still talks about it as if it was the only event ever.
Last time I met her she was talking about a friend and she said you must know her, she was my maid of honour. It was about 7 years ago, of course I havent a freaking clue about this girl I saw once in my life.

username123

Thumby wrote: »

You are kidding me? That as far as i'm aware is the job of the wedding co-ordinator in the hotel and the maid of honor. At least that's what I done when my best mate got married a few years back. We all had the lists in our bags and the little bits and bobs and we (the bridesmaids) were the go between for the hotel and the bride. We weren't letting her stress out on the wedding day. (well anymore than a nervous bride will anyway)

A control freak. Trying to control small silly details. The groom looked miserable being ordered around most of the day too.

Kontrapasa

freshpopcorn wrote: »

You've being to a wedding and you got no cake? I've never experienced this.

No I meant the way b&g "cut" a fancy cake but then the guest are served a different dessert. Not the wedding cake as it is. I think the b&g take it home afterwards or something like that.

I always got desserts in weddings, just find it funny to have a expensive "display" cake that then you don't serve to the guest and then serve them something different...

Banjoxed

username123 wrote: »

A control freak. Trying to control small silly details. The groom looked miserable being ordered around most of the day too.

Alas the Bridezilla phenomenon is not uniquely Irish..

Thumby

ronjo wrote: »

It was her choice though. She was a bit of a control freak about it and still talks about it as if it was the only event ever.
Last time I met her she was talking about a friend and she said you must know her, she was my maid of honour. It was about 7 years ago, of course I havent a freaking clue about this girl I saw once in my life.

Ahhh she was one of those brides lol. My mate tried that alright as well, but we wouldn't let her. She could stress herself out as much as she wanted to up and including the day before the wedding but once the day came around she had no choice but to let go of the bridezilla impulses and just get married. We told her as much and that if there was any problems we would deal with them for her. It was only fair as far as we were concerned, she worked so hard to get the day both her and her hubby wanted and to try and give everyone else what they wanted as well, that we thought she should just be able to relax and enjoy herself on the day. Any time she asked us were people enjoying the wedding and was everyone ok we just said yes, every thing is perfect now go grab your hubby and your drink and enjoy your (plural) day.

ronjo

Thumby wrote: »

Ahhh she was one of those brides lol. My mate tried that alright as well, but we wouldn't let her. She could stress herself out as much as she wanted to up and including the day before the wedding but once the day came around she had no choice but to let go of the bridezilla impulses and just get married. We told her as much and that if there was any problems we would deal with them for her. It was only fair as far as we were concerned, she worked so hard to get the day both her and her hubby wanted and to try and give everyone else what they wanted as well, that we thought she should just be able to relax and enjoy herself on the day. Any time she asked us were people enjoying the wedding and was everyone ok we just said yes, every thing is perfect now go grab your hubby and your drink and enjoy your (plural) day.

That was good that she finally listened.

My poor mate had to get dancing lessons for months before hand. She actually got a little annoyed with him at another mates wedding a few weeks before because he was strutting his stuff a bit from the lessons and she had wanted it to be a big thing on the day :pac:

freshpopcorn

Kontrapasa wrote: »

No I meant the way b&g "cut" a fancy cake but then the guest are served a different dessert. Not the wedding cake as it is. I think the b&g take it home afterwards or something like that.

I always got desserts in weddings, just find it funny to have a expensive "display" cake that then you don't serve to the guest and then serve them something different...

Well the weddings I've being to, you got the normal dessert and then you get wedding cake at about 10 or 11 after its being cut. You've got to keep an eye out for it tough because it flies once it comes out.

Thumby

Kontrapasa wrote: »

No I meant the way b&g "cut" a fancy cake but then the guest are served a different dessert. Not the wedding cake as it is. I think the b&g take it home afterwards or something like that.

I always got desserts in weddings, just find it funny to have a expensive "display" cake that then you don't serve to the guest and then serve them something different...

Hmmm, very strange Kontrapasa. Any wedding i've been too, we always got dessert with the meal and then cake after the b&g cut it. The only bit that some have brought home with them was either the top tier or left overs (if there was any) for those who couldn't make it to the wedding or for themselves.

I know i'll be ordering an extra tier on top just for me to bring to the airport and scoff while i'm waiting on my flights lmao. (a very small tier of course, or maybe not, depends on how much dieting i'll be doing leading up to the wedding.)

Thumby

ronjo wrote: »

That was good that she finally listened.

My poor mate had to get dancing lessons for months before hand. She actually got a little annoyed with him at another mates wedding a few weeks before because he was strutting his stuff a bit from the lessons and she had wanted it to be a big thing on the day :pac:

Oooohhh no. The poor girl, I don't blame her. I would have killed him!!!
Although i'm sure there was a bit of improvement before the two weddings. So He may not have looked like a turkey tryin to show off peacock feathers? (srry thinking of the oh dancing)

Thanks for the reminder, that's to go on the to do list and the price it list (we're on a budget lol and trying not to take out a loan).

TrishSimon

AMDublin it just sounds like you are moaning or that weddings are not for you, everyone is different and everyone wants their choice of wedding whether that be big or small, church or non church, buffet or sit down meal whatever it is please just stop talking rubbish and when you get married just have the type of wedding you and your partner want which I would imagine would be less all the things you are moaning about above, and if the next wedding you are invited to includes all of the above then dont go seen as you will be so unhappy there.
You need to do a bit more research and I think you will find people are having all sorts of wedding not just the typical one you have outlined.

Thumby

username123 wrote: »

A control freak. Trying to control small silly details. The groom looked miserable being ordered around most of the day too.

Awww that's just soooo not fair, the poor fecker.

LynnGrace

Thumby wrote: »

You are kidding me? That as far as i'm aware is the job of the wedding co-ordinator in the hotel and the maid of honor. At least that's what I done when my best mate got married a few years back. We all had the lists in our bags and the little bits and bobs and we (the bridesmaids) were the go between for the hotel and the bride. We weren't letting her stress out on the wedding day. (well anymore than a nervous bride will anyway)

Agreed. I was bridesmaid once for the most non bridezilla person ever (thankfully). Any little things I spotted, I sorted, on the day, without any hassle to the couple.

ronjo

Thumby wrote: »

Oooohhh no. The poor girl, I don't blame her. I would have killed him!!!
Although i'm sure there was a bit of improvement before the two weddings. So He may not have looked like a turkey tryin to show off peacock feathers? (srry thinking of the oh dancing)

Thanks for the reminder, that's to go on the to do list and the price it list (we're on a budget lol and trying not to take out a loan).

Are you serious??? You think he should have been kept under wraps until the big day.
Nobody cared.

Did you miss the part about the poor fecker being made to go to lessons!?

Thumby

LynnGrace wrote: »

Agreed. I was bridesmaid once for the most non bridezilla person ever (thankfully). Any little things I spotted, I sorted, on the day, without any hassle to the couple.

Oh don't get me wrong, she had her bridezilla moments and when she did we just took all the wedding paraphernalia off her and plied her with drink( we done most of the wedding planning on a friday night in my place lol) she soon stopped as she can't handle her drink to well hahahahaha.

So it was easy out from then on

freshpopcorn

TrishSimon wrote: »

AMDublin it just sounds like you are moaning or that weddings are not for you, everyone is different and everyone wants their choice of wedding whether that be big or small, church or non church, buffet or sit down meal whatever it is please just stop talking rubbish and when you get married just have the type of wedding you and your partner want which I would imagine would be less all the things you are moaning about above, and if the next wedding you are invited to includes all of the above then dont go seen as you will be so unhappy there.
You need to do a bit more research and I think you will find people are having all sorts of wedding not just the typical one you have outlined.

I really agree with this, by the sounds of it she likes nothing about weddings.

chuky_r_law

username123 wrote: »

Ah you see, thats where doing what you want to make it the day of your dreams comes in.

My ceremony was outside in a game reserve in South Africa with hotel staff as witnesses. Our driver stood by with a rifle in case of any predators. A private safari drive afterwards where we sat amid a herd of elephants and visited a rhino and her baby and met a friendly giraffe.

Later we were escorted to our private bungalow where the floor, bed and bath were strewn with rose petals, candles were lit, the baboons were calling from the cliffside and we dined on roast kudu and other african delicacies.

Now that was the wedding day of a lifetime.

are you sure it wasn't the father of the bride??

good effort tho.

i got hitched last month. we went to the registry office and then took our families and just a few friends out for dinner. after that we threw a big party for all our friends. nice and simple. no fuss

Thumby

ronjo wrote: »

Are you serious??? You think he should have been kept under wraps until the big day.
Nobody cared.

Did you miss the part about the poor fecker being made to go to lessons!?

Well if she hadn't told him she wanted it as a surprise on the day then fair enough but if he knew surely he could have kept it quite. I'm sure there are things he asked for in the wedding that she was happy to agree to.

Isn't that what planning it with your oh is about? Getting things ye both want.

Kontrapasa

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Well the weddings I've being to, you got the normal dessert and then you get wedding cake at about 10 or 11 after its being cut. You've got to keep an eye out for it tough because it flies once it comes out.

Thumby wrote: »

Hmmm, very strange Kontrapasa. Any wedding i've been too, we always got dessert with the meal and then cake after the b&g cut it. The only bit that some have brought home with them was either the top tier or left overs (if there was any) for those who couldn't make it to the wedding or for themselves.

I know i'll be ordering an extra tier on top just for me to bring to the airport and scoff while i'm waiting on my flights lmao. (a very small tier of course, or maybe not, depends on how much dieting i'll be doing leading up to the wedding.)

Maybe they did and I missed it cause I was at dance floor or at the bar at that stage shame cause I have a huge sweet tooth :D:D

Back home there's one big cake (enough to feed everyone), b&g cut it and gets taken away, 2 mins later is being served to everyone with scoop of ice cream or something like that on the side yum yum!

chuky_r_law

freshpopcorn wrote: »

They have there own unique twist that is personal to the bride and groom.

most dont from my own experience

Thumby

Kontrapasa wrote: »

Maybe they did and I missed it cause I was at dance floor or at the bar at that stage shame cause I have a huge sweet tooth :D:D

Back home there's one big cake (enough to feed everyone), b&g cut it and gets taken away, 2 mins later is being served to everyone with scoop of ice cream or something like that on the side yum yum!

Now i want cake!!!!:(