Abortion and Want to Talk :)

MaryDublin

Excellent :-) I'm down in the shticks now so I suppose where we meet will be dependent on where the majority live.

Tigger99

Ladies I think talking about meeting up is frowned upon on boards, as people can pretend to be something that they aren't. I'd suggest that you private message each other, and maybe swap FB details to verify to each other who ye are. Just a suggestion

MaryDublin

Very true Tigger99, especially with a subject such as this one.

eviltwin

I think that is a great idea ladies, I would be up for that too

comfortseeker

I would like to be part of this meet up too, I too have gone through the pain of an abortion and feel this would be great to meet other women who have been in a similar situation. can someone mail me the details? I would really appreciate it thank you

MaryDublin

Hi Comfortseeker. There are no details as yet as nothing has been arranged.

MaryDublin

Ok. I was thinking. I'll set up a private group on FB for it. If you PM me your email address I'll try find you and add you. How do you all feel about that?

comfortseeker

MaryDublin wrote: »

Ok. I was thinking. I'll set up a private group on FB for it. If you PM me your email address I'll try find you and add you. How do you all feel about that?

sounds good I will PM you now

hattoncracker

MaryDublin wrote: »

Ok. I was thinking. I'll set up a private group on FB for it. If you PM me your email address I'll try find you and add you. How do you all feel about that?

I'll PM you too!

Jenneke87

Really great idea! I hope you will all have a good time meeting up and have a safe place to talk about your experiences

iPink

What to say? I've read all your honest & courageous stories and I think you are all so brave to tell them, hugs to you all xx

I too had an abortion, it's not a secret, most of my friends & family know about it, except my dad for some reason. .. I never told him. .. I'm not even really sure why!

It was august 2005 I think, due date should have been mid March 2006, probably would have been 8 this March, I can never remember exactly. .. my husband of 5 years (7 years together) had walked out on me almost exactly a year before, leaving me with a 1 year old baby daughter, severe PND & huge debts (all in my name!)

He was the first guy I slept with after my husband had left & we both knew it was a one night stand... except it wasn't! We ended up seeing each other 3 times, I don't know when I got pregnant. I was a bit drunk two of the times but insisted he use a condom, which he did, I don't know if it broke or he messed with it somehow but something got through. .. The sex was really bad too!!

I knew the day my period was due & didn't come that I was pregnant, I just knew it, I got a test & my friend called round, she couldn't see the line but it was there. .. so faint...

I tried to meet up witj the guy again to tell him in person, he was a dental student from the Congo! But he was always busy & didn't have time, eventually I texted him that I really needed to see him, he texted back 'are you horny or pregnant? ' OMG! ! There had been NO mention of why I needed to see him...

I even went looking for him in his usual haunts but couldn't find him so in the end was forced to tell him by text which I really hated... he answered that he was sorry for me that I was in that situation & I was a nice girl but it couldn't be his cos he was infertile!! WTF?!!

After a bit of back & forth (I was still in shock & shocked by his reaction!) my last message to him was that if that was true then my dad would be calling the next day for a sperm sample. ..!! So childish I know but I just wanted to make him squirm...and of course I'd been to his house so I knew where he lived lol

I only saw him again once after that, it was just after I'd had the abortion, in a night club, I had to go & pretend everything was ok as I was changing jobs & my old team had arranged a dinnet, gifts & night out as a surprise... I left when I saw him, didn't even tell people I was going, just panicked ( I had a missed call from him that night at like 3am, I presume a booty call the cheek of him, I text him the next day that I was dead to him, never to contact me again, delete my name & number & cross the road if he saw me!! What an a**hole wan*er!

When I found out I was pregnant I was adamant I would keep the baby... Until I told my mother, she was the first one to give me a reality check... I was a single mother with a two year old, struggling terribly financially, just started a new job & working 60 hrs a week, struggling to pay creche fees etc & if I'm honest my mental health wasn't the best either. .. I had had (probably still did) severe pnd after my daughter was born & trying to come to terms with a marriage breakdown too...

My mum paid for it all... I went to the Marie Stokes in Essex... I remember getting a taxi from the airport to the clinic & not telling the driver the exact address just the street name... he pulled up right outside the clinic! ! It was so obvious to him. .. I couldn't believe that this was the reality of the effin country we live in!!

A friend came with me. .. I cried non stop in the waiting room, I had to wait till I was 8 weeks even though I knew straight away... it was torture waiting those extra weeks... feeling & seeing my body change... I saw the scan at the clinic, I wanted a picture but they wouldn't give one to me. I just wanted something to remember by...

The doctor who booked me in almost wouldn't let me go through I was so distraught. .. She said she saw the same faces in and out all the time! Lunch-break terminations she called them

Walking through the door from the waiting room to the procedure room was the hardest thing I've EVER done... The nurse in there held my hand & said I could still change my mind. .. I couldn't see in front of me I was crying so hard. .. yet I still knew, under the pain & anguish that it was for the best. ..

Afterwards I remember coming to & feeling relief & sadness, stayed in a hotel that night there were still lots of tears but it was more the sadness of being in that situation of having to do it rather than regret, if that makes any sense
..?

To this day I still feel the same, I know it was for the best. .. part of me thinks I would have an 8 year old now, the worst part well over, I could have done it, I could have made it work .. but it's only a fleeting thought, I know I made the right decision for the me I was then... and for my daughter... I don't really think about it much to be honest & it all feels like a blur... like it happened to someone else! !

I had to get ALL the STD tests done afterwards too which was really scary as they ask you if there's been any African connection. .. luckily it all came back clear though...

Writing about it has been good though so thanks for 'listening'

Oh and I never had a bad word from anyone I told, though I did lose the friendship of the woman that came with me, we drifted apart. .. She had had many mcs & then found out she couldn't have children ( she had absolutely insisted on coming but in the end it just must have been too much for her. ..

The pro-lifers make me sick tbh, how dare they emotionally abuse & manipulate people the way they do!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

MaryDublin

iPink, sooo many hugs for you.

iPink

MaryDublin wrote: »

iPink, sooo many hugs for you.

Thank you x

MaryDublin

Hi guys,

Have created the group but it seems in order to add people I have to be friends with them.......bit weird I know. So please bare that in mind if you want to be added.

iPink

Thinking about it all I've just remembered this poem I wrote for him/her a year later. .. it's called 'Never Forgotten'.

My heart is lone & empty, my womb is broken & bare
The life has gone, it's ripped away, I know it once was there
The seed unsown & never known that tried to cling & thrive
But in the end, when all was shown, just couldn't survive

They held my hand but took you away, you weren't ever meant to be
Left a black, scratched & empty, hole inside of me
I set you free that dreaded day & gave you wings to fly alone
But my love is always with you, where-ever you now roam

I cherish you in my blissful dreams, so very late at night
I kiss & hold you in my arms, you feel so warm & right
A few short weeks of worry, was all you ever grew
But I'll never ever forget my love, if only you knew

We never got to laugh, never had the chance to play
I hear your sweet voice calling 'Mummy' almost every day
I see you in each crowded place, the face I never knew
I run to hold you in my arms, but it's never you

I think & wonder often about what could never have been
Looking into your sister's beautiful eyes that you haven't ever seen
Thinking of our family, the three of us as one
The laughter and the tears, the sadness and the fun

I know I failed you my heart, I couldn't keep you more
It was the way it had to be, of that I know I'm sure
Your Mummy's so sorry, late at night she cries
But I know you're ever by my side, a Mother's love never dies

RIP my love xxx

hattoncracker

iPink wrote: »

Thinking about it all I've just remembered this poem I wrote for him/her a year later. .. it's called 'Never Forgotten'.

My heart is lone & empty, my womb is broken & bare
The life has gone, it's ripped away, I know it once was there
The seed unsown & never known that tried to cling & thrive
But in the end, when all was shown, just couldn't survive

They held my hand but took you away, you weren't ever meant to be
Left a black, scratched & empty, hole inside of me
I set you free that dreaded day & gave you wings to fly alone
But my love is always with you, where-ever you now roam

I cherish you in my blissful dreams, so very late at night
I kiss & hold you in my arms, you feel so warm & right
A few short weeks of worry, was all you ever grew
But I'll never ever forget my love, if only you knew

We never got to laugh, never had the chance to play
I hear your sweet voice calling 'Mummy' almost every day
I see you in each crowded place, the face I never knew
I run to hold you in my arms, but it's never you

I think & wonder often about what could never have been
Looking into your sister's beautiful eyes that you haven't ever seen
Thinking of our family, the three of us as one
The laughter and the tears, the sadness and the fun

I know I failed you my heart, I couldn't keep you more
It was the way it had to be, of that I know I'm sure
Your Mummy's so sorry, late at night she cries
But I know you're ever by my side, a Mother's love never dies

RIP my love xxx

I don't think I could have worded it as beautiful as you did.

Serious, serious hugs, iPink. Xxx

iPink

hattoncracker wrote: »

I don't think I could have worded it as beautiful as you did.

Serious, serious hugs, iPink. Xxx

Thank you & hugs to anyone that's gone through this difficult & terrible ordeal... ♡♡♡