Telling a 3yr old about separation

Karmella

So my husband and I are going through a separation, how on earth do we approach telling our 3 year old? We are only a week in, but there's only so long I can fob off the 'where's daddy?' questions.

His dad has been here a couple evenings this week and took him out Monday. He put him to bed last night and then left, but the little fella came into our room at 3am looking for him. . He is definitely twigging that something is up

We want to try and do this in a way that will cause the least hurt but just don't know what to do.

Would appreciate any tips or links to somewhere that can help

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This must be very difficult for you all. I have no personal experience of this but have heard the rainbows programme recommended before.

Moonbeam

I was slightly older but it was just explained that daddy had gone to live some where else and they both loved me and I could visit him.
He is only little they adjust very fast.
Just try to never be negative around him.

cbyrd

I went through this last year.. I have 4 children aged 15 11 4 and 2.. we involved the kids in the move and on his first weekend out the kids stayed with him.. this gave them a sense that this is daddy's house and this is mammy's house, they're clever so don't try to fob them off.

I don't fully know your situation (visitation etc) but the best way is just be honest.. things like 'lets go see daddy in his house?' 'so do you like daddy's house?' you'll have so much fun with daddy in his house!'

We had an amicable enough split but every now and again it gets a bit awkward when plans get changed or stuff happens, but, it has nothing to do with the kids. I don't discuss arguements or look for information about the other house cos its not fair to put the babies in that position, if they have something they want to chat about that's different but for the most part they rarely know if we have a fight (unlike before we split:D)

Best of luck with it, just keep in mind kids adapt to and accept situations much quicker and easier than grown-ups

Sweet_pea

I was the same as Moonbeam in that I was a little bit older but it was just explained matter of fact to me where Dad would be living and when exactly I would be seeing him.

Just make sure there is no emotion (as in anger, etc) when explaining and keep it simple, they obviously don't need to know the reasons or anything. Also, just insure he knows when he is visiting dad and always stick with the routine marked down.

LadyMayBelle

'Its not your fault Koko Bear' is a sweet story book about a bear that now has two homes to go to?

Karmella

Thanks everyone, it's weird but every day he's looking for his dad less and less. I've been very positive around him, and will never bad mouth his dad to him or around him. We just need to get into some kind of routine,
His dad is still looking for a place to live so will be just visiting for now until he has stable accommodation.

I suppose they are strong little people really at the end of the day! As long as he knows we both love him it's the main thing right? I'm actually pregnant as well ( disaster! ) but at least the new baby won't know any different, so not worried about that so much as the little fella.