Baby will not stop

How Strange

There's also a 4 month sleep regression which most but not all babies are affected by to some degree. Look up the wonder weeks. It's a revelation to bewildered parents of babies who've just stopped sleeping for no apparent reason.

Also it's not uncommon for a 16 week old baby to wake a few times during the night. They still need to be fed on demand at that age.

Our daughter is a disaster for sleeping and she's now 10.5 months. She's breastfed but everyone and it's mother insisted she'd sleep better if given formula at night so I tried it at 6 months and it didn't make a blind bit of difference. Her brother was also breastfed without formula and he was sleeping really well by 7 months but the 4 -6 month period was tough going. She's now eating everything, has a big supper before bed as well as two milk feeds and she still wakes up 2-4 times a night.

I think at 16 weeks it's an ideal time to establish a bed time routine. This means doing the same thing every evening and getting him to bed at a reasonable hour. I've found that sleep begets sleep with babies so put them down to bed early and at the first signs of tiredness.

Finally remember that sleeping through the night for most babies under 1 is sleeping a 5-7 hour stretch. Unfortunately they tend to do that from bedtime up to 1/2am and then they want to feed and snooze rather than sleep.

Every baby is different so one size definitely won't fit all. I've found that keeping your expectations realistic helps. If you expect him to sleep 7-7 then you'll probably be very disappointed most mornings. Believe there's plenty of babies, irrespective of how they're fed, that wake frequently during the night. It usually sorts itself out around 6 months unless you've got a night owl like us :P

beauf

We had problems with one of ours and had to move him to a heavier formula and increase the amount and they were much happier on it.

highly1111

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

Baby is not in his own room.
Don't understand the rest of your first paragraph.

No, he is not cold

it's possible he's a very light sleeper. If you or your partner move in your sleep you could be disturbing him. I've 3 kids and there is no doubt about it - all of them slept far better once in their own rooms. I'd try it anyway.

Rachineire

I agree with highly there- my son slept so much better when he was in his own room. It sucked when he had nights that he was up a lot to have to go into another room over and over again- but he would sleep consistantly better on his own.

nikpmup

At that age my son was drinking 8oz bottles - he's being weaned now, has 2 meals a day and still drinks 4 7/8oz bottles. Maybe try cluster feeding in the evening/bigger bottle at night? I feel for you OP, nothing is as shattering as broken sleep!

Neyite

Some babies just are restless sleepers. I have one and I can count on one hand the amount of nights he has slept through until morning. And he is 23 months.

At least at 4 months, I was still on maternity and could catch up on daytime rest but no such luck now!

SnoozySuzie

Does your wife nurse to sleep? Maybe it's nothing to do with hunger and the baby just associates breastfeeding with falling asleep so cant settle by themselves when they wake.

I think that's what happened to my baba but we just start co sleeping around 5 months and everyone was much happier. I was getting up between 5-9 times a night now most nights she just latches on herself and I don't even wake up! She's 8 months btw. I know it's not for everyone and people will tell you not to do cos you'll never get them out of the bed but at the minute it's working for us and saved my sanity. I can really enjoy her now without being exhausted during the day and dreading going to bed at night.

Cellygirl

Just to note, Calpol is a painkiller for pain and/or fever. It really shouldn't be used to help a baby sleep. Only give your baby a painkiller if she is in pain.

I wouldn't be too rushed to move baby into her own room yet either, the guidelines for SIDS say that research shows children are at a higher risk of SIDS if they sleep alone before six months. Babies aged two to four months are at the highest risk of cot death, so keeping baby in with you until they're at least six months is the ideal, if at all possible.

I also wouldn't start solids too early, particularly if baby has been breastfed, to preserve the virgin gut. The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding/milk feeds exclusively until six months and then solids and it really is worth holding off for as long as you can, honestly, babies who are weaned too early can face a whole range of problems in later life.

Somebody earlier mentioned Wonder Weeks and I think this is what's happening here. Four months is the age where babies have a HUGE developmental leap, both mentally and physically. They often start rolling around this time and also can begin teething. My son had two teeth fully through at four months. All of this development interferes hugely with sleep. Babies can be more clingy, crying more, hungrier, sleep less, all of that. It can go on a while and can be really soul destroying. But it does pass, it really does. Often after a leap like this, baby settles down into a better routine.

At this age also, sleeping through the night technically means sleeping from midnight until 5am, it doesn't refer to a baby sleeping all night like adults do. A baby of four months needs to feed overnight. They need to wake, at this age it's survival for them. It really is all perfectly normal, particularly for a breastfed baby as they need to feed to keep Mam's supply up.

It sounds really hard for you, I feel for you I really do, but it really is normal. I second what someone else said there about one of you sleeping in the spare room every other night so that you get some rest. That's a good idea. Another good idea is the bedtime routine. Bath, bottle, story, bed or whatever way you want to do it. Same time, every night, same routine. Have a wind down time before bed, no TV, quiet time, that sort of thing. At this age too, sleep begets sleep, so make sure baby is getting enough naps in the day if you can.

Ask for help, ask in laws, friends, aunties, neighbours, anybody at all for help to take baby for a couple of hours to allow you both to catch up on your rest. F*ck the housework too, leave it. Concentrate on the three of you, try to eat well, rest during the day if you can, ask for help and know that this too shall pass!

zoe 3619

Just a thought,and maybe a road you don't want to go down...my babies woke up loads during the night.they were breastfed,and having them share a bed with us made it loads easier.no getting up to sort them out.plug them in and snuggle up.either way,will all be worth it in the end.cherish the moments,and don't wish this wonderful time away.mine are teenagers now...whole new set of issues.sometimes I wish I had screaming babies again.

sari

[quote="Have you tried some calpol to settle him at night?[/quote]

Calpol is a medicine it's not for getting your child to sleep it's for when your child medically needs it. Please don't give medications to babies when they don't need them

tom_tarbucket

Thanks to everyone for all the replies, very helpful

highly1111

Have you had any success OP? Hope so.

tom_tarbucket

highly1111 wrote: »

Have you had any success OP? Hope so.

Ah its only been a few days since I posted the thread not yet, but getting there

silly

I know someone mentioned baby might be cold already but I heard on the radio a few years ago that if a baby is not sick, is well fed etc and still has problems sleeping, the baby must be cold.

Have you got him in a grow bag? My son (21months) sleeps in a a grow bag, and 2 cellular blankets and sometimes a light quilt every night and he is a great sleeper. It might help, make him nice and cosy.

tom_tarbucket

silly wrote: »

I know someone mentioned baby might be cold already but I heard on the radio a few years ago that if a baby is not sick, is well fed etc and still has problems sleeping, the baby must be cold.

Have you got him in a grow bag? My son (21months) sleeps in a a grow bag, and 2 cellular blankets and sometimes a light quilt every night and he is a great sleeper. It might help, make him nice and cosy.

Yep, he is in a gro bag and we have the heating on all night in the bedroom

How Strange

Was that Tizzie Hall that said that? I remember her on Ray Darcy advocating multiple layers of blankets because babies are too cold these days. Everything she said contravened SIDS recommendations.

Unless the baby can sit up in bed and tell you he's freezing and needs more blankets there are a myriad of reasons why he mightn't be sleeping. I really do wish, after 11 months of sleep deprivation, that it was that simple.

yellow hen

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

Yep, he is in a gro bag and we have the heating on all night in the bedroom

Is the room particularly cold? If not there really is no need to have heating on all night. Put some light layers on and them a grow bag and it should be enough. I never used blankets because even at 12 months I'm afraid he'll pull them over his head.

We had a poor sleeper too. I think it was a combination of lots of things such as reflux, teeth, lactose intolerance (was still on lactose formula). It settled down around 9-10 months but he'd still usually wake at least once per night. As others suggested, some babies just don't comply with the norm. Throw out the rule books and do whatever helps you and your wife get some sleep. Once you accept that this is how it is, it actually gets a bit easier. And.... It will pass

mikom

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

Yep, he is in a gro bag and we have the heating on all night in the bedroom

He is still not sleeping, but the tomatoes he's producing are scrumptious.

Millem

mikom wrote: »

He is still not sleeping, but the tomatoes he's producing are scrumptious.

Well I honestly think he is not filling up during the day. My 9 week old goes to bed at 7 with dream feed (before I go to bed around 10ish) and sleeps till 6. I firmly believe it's because he drinks big quantities in the day. 6 am 6oz 9.30 10oz 1pm 5oz 5.30 10oz at 10pm he could have between 4oz and 6oz. Fair play to your OH keeping going and not sleeping my supply was so bad due to exhaustion I literally couldn't keep up with him. Honestly don't know myself now
What about doing more combo feeding?

yellow hen

Millem wrote: »

Well I honestly think he is not filling up during the day. My 9 week old goes to bed at 7 with dream feed (before I go to bed around 10ish) and sleeps till 6. I firmly believe it's because he drinks big quantities in the day. 6 am 6oz 9.30 10oz 1pm 5oz 5.30 10oz at 10pm he could have between 4oz and 6oz. Fair play to your OH keeping going and not sleeping my supply was so bad due to exhaustion I literally couldn't keep up with him. Honestly don't know myself now
What about doing more combo feeding?

It really isn't that simple millem. Some babies just don't sleep great. I only pray the next baby is a better sleeper than the last!

Millem

yellow hen wrote: »

It really isn't that simple millem. Some babies just don't sleep great. I only pray the next baby is a better sleeper than the last!

Well I am only go by my recent experience with my baby. OP why don't you look into a sleep consultant? I know someone who got one from the sleep academy in sandyford and found them brill

Tasden

yellow hen wrote: »

It really isn't that simple millem. Some babies just don't sleep great. I only pray the next baby is a better sleeper than the last!

Have to agree with this, at the time when you're getting no sleep and baby is constantly waking you up it is normal to ask "why isn't baby sleeping like other babies, there must be something wrong" but if your baby seems content in general and is settling once tended to even if its only for a few hours at a time then I'd be inclined to just think its one of those phases baby will grow out of.

I feel for you, I really do. My baby slept from 11 to 7 without fail most nights at that stage, but then one day something changed and that routine was gone. Like you I was exhausted and didn't understand why and I had been spoiled prior to that with a lovely nights sleep every night. I was in college at the time so stress and a lack of sleep was not a good combo but you know what, I got through it. All you can do. In my case it went on for months, generally just a case of finding her soother and patting her tummy but my god I was ready to explode. Its draining. But just remember it is only temporary, in a few years you'll be wishing you could rock that little baby to sleep and cuddle them in bed. Not that that helps you much now.

How Strange

16 weeks is too young for sleep training. There are still too many variables with a 4 month olds sleep patterns or ability to sleep for that matter.

There's huge physical and psychological development from 3-8 months as well as teething and growth spurts among other things such as a simple blocked nose which will affect how they sleep.

I really don't see how you could sleep train a baby whose brain is constantly exploding with all the new stuff they're learning. For every good night you have you have two bad ones.

Babies sleep patterns change around 9-10 months and they begin to be able to stretch for longer or even sleep through the night. Unfortunately my daughter didn't get this memo but by and large most babies start sleeping better around 10 month mark.

Tasden

How Strange wrote: »

16 weeks is too young for sleep training. There are still too many variables with a 4 month olds sleep patterns or ability to sleep for that matter.

There's huge physical and psychological development from 3-8 months as well as teething and growth spurts among other things such as a simple blocked nose which will affect how they sleep.

I really don't see how you could sleep train a baby whose brain is constantly exploding with all the new stuff they're learning. For every good night you have you have two bad ones.

Babies sleep patterns change around 9-10 months and they begin to be able to stretch for longer or even sleep through the night. Unfortunately my daughter didn't get this memo but by and large most babies start sleeping better around 10 month mark.

What do you mean by sleep training? Never heard the term, do you mean trying to establish a sleep routine? Sorry!

Toots

I think it depends on the baby. According to my parents, at 18 months I was still waking up numerous times a night. They nearly lost their minds. My dad was disgusted that my baba slept right through the night from about 6 weeks old - he was hoping I'd get my just deserts after what I put them through :P I can guarantee you we didn't do anything special to get that to happen. He had really bad colic right up until we started him on solids at 17 weeks. Before then he would scream for a solid three hours, at exactly the same time every evening. I'm not sure did he just tire himself out with all the screaming and maybe that's why he slept so well.

Drdoc

I also had one of those terrible sleepers that woke every 1.5-2 hours every single night right up until 10 months old.
Then suddenly it all changed and in a matter of days he went from that to sleeping from 8.30-7.30 without any wake ups.
As frustrating and tiring as it was, I honestly don't think he was developmentally ready to sleep through before that. So OP it will improve, I got by by hoping each night would be the magic night and then one day it did happen.

How strange, sorry your daughter didn't get the memo, hopefully things will improve soon.

Cienciano

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

Yep, he is in a gro bag and we have the heating on all night in the bedroom

How warm is the room? It could be too hot. Our babies room is always the magical 18 degrees, and it makes a big difference. If it goes up above 20 they start to get restless.

But you have my sympathy, I have a 1 and 2 year old. 2 year old was easy, slept through the night well from early. But the 1 year old was sooo much harder, always waking and taking ages to settle. And she was in the same room as the 2 year old, so when she did cry we'd go in so she wouldn't wake the other lad. She's 1 in a couple of weeks and only in the last week has she seemed to settle easy and sleep through the night, but she still needs a small feed at around midnight. Not ideal, but it'll be the only time she wakes and she'll settle straight afterwards, so better than before of waking 4 or 5 times screaming and not settling.

Thumby

Sorry you're not getting much sleep op. I ended up having to combie feed my premmie by the time he was three months because he was just so hungry he was up on the hour every hour for the breast, combie feeding at night with formula did help a bit at the time, he's now 14mhs (12.5 corrected age) and still wakes up during the night. He gets plenty of solids during the day along with about 4/5 bottles and then another 3 at night. He gets supper (usually a big bowl of porridge) at half eight and a bottle going to bed at nine, he will then wake up at 1 for another bottle and again at five and then he's up for the day at seven. Every child is different and some just dont' sleep right through for ages. My daughter was the same at night, just without actually being hungry, she'd wake up take an oz, two at the most go back asleep and then wake up again less than an hour later. Someone mentioned about him being in his own room, i found that worked wonders with my daughter as when she woke up she was seeing me and wanted to play/cuddle but once i moved her into her own room she'd just turn over and go back to sleep. I tired this with my son and he's still waking as he is actually hungry.
Your little man will eventually settle into a sleep routine and your sanity and your hubbys will eventually return, but generally the first six months at least are beyond exhausting for parents. The good news is there is an end in sight, and you will start getting some sleep. I would also take it in turns to sleep in another bedroom that way ye are both getting full nights sleep on alternate nights and that sound like a lot more than either of ye are getting right now.

Akrasia

I've got 3 young kids. My oldest slept okish at night and rarely took any naps during the day, Our middle child was what we liked to affectionately call, a complete lunatic, who had so much energy that I'm still convinced that she violated the 1st law of thermodynamics. (crawlng at 4 months, walking at 7 months, running at 7 months and 1 day etc...) She's calmed down a lot and she's genuinely a really lovely child now who we couldn't be more proud of.

She never slept through the night until she was almost 2 years old. Our third child is 10 months old now and has been so easy compared to the other two. She sleeps through the night now, from 7pm to about 6am, when she was 4 months old, she was waking up a couple of times for a feed (breastfed) but once she was fed, she went straight back to sleep.

Basically, all I'm saying is that every child is different. A baby doesn't need much to flourish, just to be fed and changed, kept clean and warm, and to be loved and played with. The first year as a new parent is unbelievably hard, especially if your child is active and energetic, but it does get easier, and it's all worthwhile when you have a little 2 or 3 year old running around and making you laugh and smile hundred times a day.

I get lots of hugs every single day and it never gets old, (and it only lasts for a few short years so make the most of it)

tom_tarbucket

Thanks for all the advice, the baby is 4 months and 15 days old today, but he is a relatively big baby for his age. We have decided to introduce solids to the baby today. I know some people say not to do this until 6 months, that their tummy is not developed enough, and only if bottle fed etc etc, but after a consultation with a paediatrician he had a look at him and said, that lad is ready for solids, so hopefully over time, the sleeping will improve with the solids. fingers crossed.