This gets up my goat .....

GT_TDI_150

Firstly, i hope by sharing this I havent hightened your awareness to this 'issue' and that it starts to bother you too ...

We had our first 4yrs ago and are pregnant with our second one.when pregnant with the first my OH started watching all the Maternity Hospital tv shows, which is when i first became aware of this issue ...

Why do consultants, registrars, midwives and nurses omit "the" when talking about your baby?!

"Baby is healthy",
"baby is very active",
"would you like to hold baby?",
"lets have a look/listen for baby"
"Will you be breast feeding baby?"
.....

Is it that strenious to say "the baby"?

Really irks me!

CaraMay

Well they are giving the baby an identity and not just treat it as an object I assume.

lollsangel

I always assumed it was to make it more personal . Like theyre calling the baby baby in lieu of Michael or mary

ElleEm

As above. They refer to you as "mum" behind your back too. It's nicer than "the patient"!

kandr10

I agree with op on this! The baby , your baby, all acceptable options for me :-)

PCX

I remember that they also refered to me in the third person when I was visiting even when talking directly to me.

Things like 'Would daddy like to hold baby now'? Instead of just saying 'would you like to hold her now'? Which would have been a more normal way to ask the same question.

I found it a bit strange but it didn't annoy me. I think I was so happy about being a new dad that it washed right over me!

Roesy

Ha, we did laugh at the whole 'baby is sleeping', 'how's mum?', 'would dad like to change baby?' thing but what really got on our goats was all the paediatricians(in CUMH anyway) introduced themselves as 'I'm dr......, I'm one of the baby doctors'. What's wrong with the word paediatrician?!?

kandr10

Haha the baby doctor! I always thought that was funny. Midwives would always say it at appointments "have you to see the baby doctor today?"

lazygal

I hated being called mum/mammy in hospital. It felt like suddenly all I was was a mammy. I have a name! What do they call patients in other hospital settings, do they use their names?

GT_TDI_150

lazygal wrote: »

I hated being called mum/mammy in hospital. It felt like suddenly all I was was a mammy. I have a name! What do they call patients in other hospital settings, do they use their names?

Following the logic of all of a sudden calling you mum would indicate there is patients called "leg fracture", "stroke", "gastro", "transplant", ... strewn all over the hospitals

lazygal

GT_TDI_150 wrote: »

Following the logic of all of a sudden calling you mum would indicate there is patients called "leg fracture", "stroke", "gastro", "transplant", ... strewn all over the hospitals

Or c section, episiotomy or whatever!

CaraMay

kandr10 wrote: »

Haha the baby doctor!

I would say they get a lot of people through the door who wouldn't know what a paediatrician is. As a society we are definitely dumbing down.

Wasn't a paediatrician attacked in the uk and driven from her home as the vigilantes didn't know the difference between a paedophile and a paediatrician.

I didn't mind them calling me mum as I was do happy to be a mum.

nikpmup

lol, when I was in after having my son, a Dr came into my cubicle to check on me after my section. My son was upstairs in NICU, I asked the doctor if he knew how he was. His reply was, ''Sorry, I'm just a Mammy doctor!''

CarrickMcJoe

It's not as bad as couples who tell everyone that, We are pregnant...

We aren't. The wife/partner is.

Sligo1

CaraMay wrote: »

I would say they get a lot of people through the door who wouldn't know what a paediatrician is. As a society we are definitely dumbing down.

Wasn't a paediatrician attacked in the uk and driven from her home as the vigilantes didn't know the difference between a paedophile and a paediatrician.

I didn't mind them calling me mum as I was do happy to be a mum.

Correct. Health professionals are taught to use the most simple language avaliable to ensure patients understand what they are saying. Although many of us know what a paediatrician is, it is wrong to assume every person out there knows what a paediatrician is.

Lol... And yes apparently a paediatrians house in the UK got vandalised as a thug mistook his title for Peadophile! Imagine!

highflyer30

Sligo1 wrote: »

Correct. Health professionals are taught to use the most simple language avaliable to ensure patients understand what they are saying. Although many of us know what a paediatrician is, it is wrong to assume every person out there knows what a paediatrician is.

Lol... And yes apparently a paediatrians house in the UK got vandalised as a thug mistook his title for Peadophile! Imagine!

Paediatricians look after kids and speak to kids a lot so get used to speaking so everyone understands easily. No harm done.

dublinlady

Haha I totally agree with this post! It always annoyed me - baby this baby is feeding well, daddy can help wash baby etc
I appreciate they are keeping language simple and accessible but actually here they are just trying to be personal but don't know the babies name - so just don't try and be that personal when clearly it is not appropriate... You don't know my child's name, either look at her file or call her the baby! I don't mind!! I call her the baby all the time

Chattastrophe!

OK while it's annoying, it's not something I'd get annoyed about, if that makes sense.

They call the baby "baby". If they call him "the baby" it's impersonal. If they call him *name*, it's a bit crappy if the parents end up changing the name (as often happens.) Our baby's name was decided very early on, and never changed, but I know that if we'd changed our minds while in hospital, it would've been weird to look at notes with a different name on them.

They also refer to the mother as "mum", tbh I found it weird looking at notes on my file "3am - mum is sleeping" - but it's all good that they were looking out for us.

Victor

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

They call the baby "baby". If they call him "the baby" it's impersonal.

Agreed. Referring to "the baby" reduces your hope and joy to being a thing.

"Baby" is a title. In a formal setting, you refer to people by their title "doctor", "nurse", "manager", "director", "councillor", "mayor", etc.

GT_TDI_150

Victor wrote: »

Agreed. Referring to "the baby" reduces your hope and joy to being a thing.

"Baby" is a title. In a formal setting, you refer to people by their title "doctor", "nurse", "manager", "director", "councillor", "mayor", etc.

But you dont say :

When is doctor coming on his rounds?
Manager has decided to take us to lunch.
Etc

xzanti

CaraMay wrote: »

Well they are giving the baby an identity and not just treat it as an object I assume.

Yes, I find it endearing..

CaraMay wrote: »

I didn't mind them calling me mum as I was do happy to be a mum.

Same here, I loved hearing them calling me 'Mum'

CaraMay

Have to say I find the parent police (of which there are a few members on the parenting forum) the most annoying.

Penny Dreadful

CarrickMcJoe wrote: »

It's not as bad as couples who tell everyone that, We are pregnant...

We aren't. The wife/partner is.

This really annoys me all right. "We're pregnant!!"......feck right off, unless you're going to take a turn with the nausea, stretching ligaments and body parts, sensitive breasts and killer nipples, waking up to pee a half dozen times each night, "we" are not pregnant.
I have absolutely no issue with "we're going to have a baby" but only one of us is pregnant.

Also, in the same vein is "we're due" or "Richard/Tom/Sean/whoever is due on date xxx". Again, they are not due - the wife/girlfriend of these people has a due date, the baby has a due date but Richard/Tom/Sean/whoever is not going to go into labour and deliver a baby so they aren't due to deliver anything.

Penny Dreadful

Victor wrote: »

Agreed. Referring to "the baby" reduces your hope and joy to being a thing.

"Baby" is a title. In a formal setting, you refer to people by their title "doctor", "nurse", "manager", "director", "councillor", "mayor", etc.

But when its born the baby has a name just as the patient has a name. It takes two seconds to take the time to acquaint yourself with this before talking to the patient.
Doctors and nurses generally introduce themselves with their first names now anyway and I'd never in a million years refer to them as anything other than this when speaking directly to them.

CaraMay

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

But when its born the baby has a name just as the patient has a name. It takes two seconds to take the time to acquaint yourself with this before talking to the patient.
Doctors and nurses generally introduce themselves with their first names now anyway and I'd never in a million years refer to them as anything other than this when speaking directly to them.

Mine didn't have a name til we left hospital.... Plus all the doctors I encountered introduced themselves as Dr X / Y so I would call them doctor

nikpmup

Swift action of the doctors & midwives saved my baby's life twice in the space of three hours. I couldn't give a flying sh1te if they referred to him as Monkey Boy! It might be a bit impersonal, but the staff in the maternity hospitals are overstretched; saying ''baby'' and ''mum'' gets the point across without sounding too clinical, as in ''the patient in bed 5 and her child''.

kandr10

Ah in fairness, in defence of those of us on the side of op, I think generally it's not an annoyance but more so that it sounds a bit funny! I too was thoroughly impressed with the level of care given all round and don't mean it as a criticism of how they do their job! I just think it sounds weird!

GT_TDI_150

Just look at it this way ...

When's the last time you asked /were asked ....

Hows car running?

Where did you get handbag?

How much was jumper/dress?

...

December2012

CarrickMcJoe wrote: »

It's not as bad as couples who tell everyone that, We are pregnant...

We aren't. The wife/partner is.

I disagree for my situation.

His life, if not his body, changed as soon as we got that positive result that we had tried to get bad long hoped for.

So "we" were pregnant.

dublinlady

Exactly it's just funny!! In the same way I find it funny that my two year old will only refer to herself in the third person - just sounds daft but not offensive.... Gosh everything can spiral into an arguement!

kandr10

dublinlady wrote: »

Exactly it's just funny!! In the same way I find it funny that my two year old will only refer to herself in the third person - just sounds daft but not offensive.... Gosh everything can spiral into an arguement!

Lol :-) daft is the perfect word :-)