Funny how it goes....

Mickey Dazzler

So I am just past the nine month mark and I have more medallions than Michael Phelps... I am very happy.

I was out of work for awhile but have recently gotten a job. A very good job. It's overseas as a senior manger. It's the most senior position I have held to date and I'm delighted. For awhile there it looked like I was finished due to my boozy ways and previous reputational damage but alas I found a corner of the earth where my reputation has not preceded me.

It can be a very boozy environment so I was very anxious when I got out here. I was asked to join the director for dinner that evening. Just he and I. Nobody here knows about my previous excesses.

I can honestly say I have never been more terrified in my life (and to say that I've been in a few hairy situations over the years would be an understatement). I was pacing up and down my hotel room before the dinner, playing out how the dreaded conversation would unfold when asked what I would like to drink. I went through every possible excuse I could think of that wouldn't give the game away. What would he think? Would he delve deeper? Would alarm bells starting ringing and would I find myself on the next flight home? My mind has never been so conflicted (since quitting). Racing. Manic. I even convinced myself that taking a few sips of wine to be sociable might work to take the heat off and then I could vow "never again", madness, utter madness. I was frantic. I called up a friend from home and explained the situation and he kindly gave me a very simple idea of what I might say.

Fast forward to the dinner. We were seated at the table and I could feel my face going as red as a baboon's recently well slapped arse. I honestly though my head was going to explode with the pressure of the situation. Almost immediately the dreaded conversation started.....

Director: So... would you like some wine?
Me: No thanks.
Director: Me neither. One bottle of water please waiter.....

Jesus, the relief. I could not believe it. "No thanks" and that was that. Unbelievable.

Roll on the following night and I was out for dinner with one of my assistant mangers. Not half as much pressure but I was still dreading the situation so I decided to ask the question first. My plan was then to follow with; I wasn't drinking tonight and to give no further explanation. I could see he was actually looking quite nervous and I couldn't figure out why. Perhaps it was just nerves by being out with his new boss? Perhaps...

Me: So what would you like to drink?
Asst Mgr: Water please. I actually don't drink.
Me: Really? Me neither.
Ass Mgr: Really? I used to but had to knock it on the head...
Me: Really? Me too.....